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The War on Masterbation


dabookerman

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Yeah its just like Reefer Madness. I just wasn't thinking enough to come up with witty synonymns.

 

"Creeping like a communist, it's knocking at our doors

Turning all our children into hooligans and whores"

 

I saw Reefer Madness, downloaded it after I was researching cannabis and I stumbled across it. It's hilarious. And no I'm not ashamed to say I downloaded a 70 year old movie that was bullshit anyway :-D.

 

Idiocy levels are through the roof!

 

Indeed, anyone's who believe this site is serious. It's blatant too, not like more subtle sites like landoverbaptist.org.

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Myth: God is all forgiving.

Reality: He's a spiteful piece of crap.

 

The Bard said thats the truest thing he's heard all day. BULLSHIT! Your "god" dosn't exist! wank, fuck, play all you want. No one can judge you, no one can comdemn you. Do what you want.

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haha these sites are great.

 

My favourite are:

 

To never do rough stuff like ride horsies or bikes with hard seats, which could break my vagina's freshness seal and make me totally unlovable.

 

To never let tampons violate the sanctity of my hoo-hoo, because tampons are really nothing more than thirsty little albino penises.

 

Good finds :)

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This thread FTW!!

 

What the hell do they want to accomplish that?

What's worse is that probably a lot of people will still believe in things like this:

 

Myth: Masturbation is harmless.

Reality: Medical science proves that chronic Masturbation causes weakness, depression, forgetfulness and nearsightedness.

(i've read somewhere, maybe wikipedia, that masturbation can help to cure depressions)

 

and this:

 

Myth: Masturbation feels good.

Reality: The illusion of pleasure one experiences while Masturbating is actually caused by the simultaneous deaths of millions of brain cells.

(i've read somewhere that masturbation is overall good to your nervous system)

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Masturbation is a wonderful, wonderful thing.

 

My girlfriend tried putting a masturbation ban on me a while ago. Her reason for this was that so i was 'fully loaded' for fully blown sex.

 

Of course, when i'm alone on these lonely nights, what am i to do?!

 

Yes, out comes Pam and her 5 daughters. Sex is wonderful, but so is this.

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Masturbation is a wonderful, wonderful thing.

 

My girlfriend tried putting a masturbation ban on me a while ago. Her reason for this was that so i was 'fully loaded' for fully blown sex.

 

Of course, when i'm alone on these lonely nights, what am i to do?!

 

Yes, out comes Pam and her 5 daughters. Sex is wonderful, but so is this.

 

'Fully blown' aye ;)

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That explains why there's a nightly ejaculation every three weeks if you don't let off pressure otherwise - according to my biology book from some years back and personal experience.

But I think that's ok since you don't spill them on the ground but on the bed.

 

I think thats just because most men lack self control. I've found drinking plenty of fluids reduces the frequency pretty significantly.

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I have only read the first post so far but just had to quote the following

 

Myth: There are bigger problems than Masturbation, like drugs and AIDS.

Reality: Experts estimate that there are at least 150,000 Americans masturbating RIGHT NOW! Masturbation costs American businesses at least $3.14 billion in lost productivity every month!

 

How's that? From people going for a quicky during work instead of being at the desk? If that's the case you could run up figures on anything from going for a piss/shit to taking a lunch break...hell i bet you could even work out how much is lost a year from every sneeze that prevents people from working for that split second

 

 

Myth: Masturbation is not immoral.

Reality: Read your Bible. God was so offended when Onan spilled his seed upon the ground that God struck Onan dead! God hates it when men waste sperm, no matter what the reason.

 

Myth: The Bible

Reality: The bible wasn't written by God, it was written by men who used it to try and shaped the word and peoples views in their image. When Christianity was first being formed (after Jesus died) the "leaders" or whatever they needed to be as different from other religions as possible, and pretty much every religion of the time embraced sexuality, in fact long long ago having sex was seen as a way for a man and woman to get CLOSER to God. So in order to make Christianity different they said lets make sex taboo. In fact marriage was a sin for a long time in the early days of the church and wasn't made a sacriment till a few hunderd years later.

 

Myth: Masturbation feels good.

Reality: The illusion of pleasure one experiences while Masturbating is actually caused by the simultaneous deaths of millions of brain cells. Is five seconds worth of imaginary pleasure really worth an Eternity in Hell?

 

Well couldn't you say the same about actual sex then?

 

I haven't looked at the link yet either but i'm willing to bet the people who wrote this are people who let the bible and church control their every thought

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