Mundi Posted August 6, 2006 Posted August 6, 2006 Never go asleep with an itchy arse, unless you like waking up with a smelly finger
Hellfire Posted August 6, 2006 Posted August 6, 2006 Rules of Fight Club 1. You do not talk about 'Fight Club'. 2. You do not talk about 'Fight Club'. 3. When someone yells "Stop" or goes limp, or taps out, the fight is over. 4. Only two guys to a fight. 5. One fight at a time. 6. No shirts, no shoes. 7. Fights go on as long as they have to. 8. If this is your first night at 'Fight Club', you have to fight.
Wesley Posted August 6, 2006 Posted August 6, 2006 Don't yell at your girlfriend if she accidently bites your penis while giving you head.
Supergrunch Posted August 6, 2006 Posted August 6, 2006 Never use the same lie twice. Surely that would be better than using two different lies that contradict one another?
somme Posted August 7, 2006 Posted August 7, 2006 Surely that would be better than using two different lies that contradict one another? Have you never heard the "Peter and the wolf" tale? Never tell the same lie twice.
Gaijin von Snikbah Posted August 7, 2006 Posted August 7, 2006 The one you care the least for, is the one you should respect the most.
Guest Ford Prefect Posted August 7, 2006 Posted August 7, 2006 Have you never heard the "Peter and the wolf" tale? Never tell the same lie twice. that wasn't so much a lie as simply being an out and out **** :P
DiemetriX Posted August 7, 2006 Author Posted August 7, 2006 Never go asleep with an itchy arse, unless you like waking up with a smelly finger Now this is a good rule!
Daniel Posted August 7, 2006 Posted August 7, 2006 and cricket (as I have said before) is the skidmark on the underwear of English sport. Please leave...
Eenuh Posted August 7, 2006 Posted August 7, 2006 Don't yell at your girlfriend if she accidently bites your penis while giving you head. Good thing you edited out what you had written with this... Unwritten rule: Don't stare at a girl (or her breasts), unless you're sure she can't see you. Or if she doesn't mind you staring. Which usually isn't likely.
EEVILMURRAY Posted August 7, 2006 Posted August 7, 2006 it isn't my fault you're an uncultured cave man..... This is what I was Votting about: How long do you hold it under before quickly bringing it outta the cup and into the mouth before it reaches that dreaded moment when you see half of the biscuit getting ready to flop off and sink to the bottom of the tea..? Do you try to grab it before it falls into the cup? How many times have you be burnt by biscuit-rescuing acts? Why does the biscuit never stay on the spoon when you try to go in after it? Additionally, if being a floppy haired prat who goes around topless most of the day and enjoys being 'ard by pointing guns at the camera is cultured. Then Ooga fucking Booga, Captain Caveman is in the house.
gorrit Posted August 8, 2006 Posted August 8, 2006 next you'll be saying you don't like G&T or cricket! whats the civilised world coming to? The Earth sport of cricket and the pan-dimensional sport of Brockian Ultra-Cricket were based on the Krikkit Wars. The wars that took 2,000 years and resulted in about two "grillion" casualties. "notes that most sensible citizens of the galaxy find the sport to be in rather bad taste" - Slartibartfast
MoogleViper Posted August 8, 2006 Posted August 8, 2006 Sorry to carry on the milk debate, but I always put it in after the water and I'm told I make a fantastic cup of tea ;D even though I don't like it myself. Women (especially old ones) always say that you make a great cup of tea. This is their ploy to tempt you into giving in to your ego and making tham even more. DON'T BELIEVE THE MANIPULATING WRINKLYS! Unwritten rule: Suck my cock
DanielTimothy Posted August 8, 2006 Posted August 8, 2006 Don't come on to your cousin . . . stupid bastard thread!
MoogleViper Posted August 8, 2006 Posted August 8, 2006 Ford if you say that if you put the milk in last it tastes like shite then you obviously can't make tea. Plus who actually has tea in a cup? You should have it in a mug.
Demuwan Posted August 8, 2006 Posted August 8, 2006 No matter how good flying 1st class may be. Never say "this is the BOMB!!!", I found out about that one first hand.
Roostophe Posted August 8, 2006 Posted August 8, 2006 The unwritten rule: Never ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever EVER call Birmingham the following: Birmigum Birminum BirMINGEham BirMIDGEum BirmingHam (pronounce the 'H') Birminghom BirmingHOM Bearmingham (only acceptable if you're a scouser) Bearmingeham Birmingharm You can only call it: Birmingham Brum Brummagem If you do, the spirits of dead Brummies will swoop down on you, pick you up, and in the dense fog, drop you down a hole in the middle of the night, with an owl up a tree.
gaggle64 Posted August 8, 2006 Posted August 8, 2006 The following rules define how I live: 1. Never assume you can get away with it. 2. Don't be a dick. 3. Always remember: that could be you.
mike-zim Posted August 8, 2006 Posted August 8, 2006 never under any circumstance use deep heat as a masturbation lubericant.
EEVILMURRAY Posted August 8, 2006 Posted August 8, 2006 When there's trouble around. Pansyman can be found!
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