Esequiel Posted August 30, 2013 Posted August 30, 2013 So i started working at a welding firm back in October last year. Id worked there in the past about 4 years previous and left because i didnt get on with the boss. So last October i needed a job fast, 1 phone call and the head guy there asked me to start straight away. I accepted and found out she was still in charge. It started bad, she took a immediate dislike to me again, just sly comments and things like that. Its a small company, 3 in the office (where i work), 5 in the stores including drivers (her husband is the stores manager), 2 head bosses who i get on with well, 1 area sales rep and 1 service engineer. I got sick of her attitude before christmas and we had a huge argument in the office where i called her out on be-little'ing people, the argument simmered down and for a few months i ignored the sly comments until...... February, i found some "private" emails from her to the other girl in the office slagging me off, calling me lazy, saying i take the piss etc. Im not innocent in this, i have slagged her off as well, often to the girl who was slagging me off in this email with her! So i simmered down, booked a weeks holiday, told the head boss i wasnt going to come back after my holiday because of the office boss. He asked me to reconsider and told me to have a nice break. I decided to stay, its a decent job, wages are not bad and its fairly close to home. I also want to progress into the sales area rep role which iv been told i may have a chance of doing after christmas. I feel like im being forced out by her, she is constantly having a go about me when im not there, iv taken loads of days off il because of it and get so close to walking out half the time its stupid. The other office girl is leaving and has told the head bosses its because of the office boss, and the only person who says anything good about her is her husband. No one else likes her but shes been at the company 20+ years and everyone is too scared to say anything! I found a "private" email between her and the other office girl last week, saying how they wished i wasnt there and how much better the office is without me, its really doing my head in i cant do right for doing wrong. Iv printed the email off and have it at home, i also have her recorded on my phone saying about how lazy i am. I turn up to work early, work all day and never moan about anything. She and her husband are always moaning, slagging off everyone, picking on a certain driver and calling the head bosses black and blue. Iv built the company a website which should go love next week which iv been ridiculed about from start to finish as i told the head bosses i would need time allocated to work on it. She laughs at me wanting the sales area rep job, in general shes a grade a bitch. TLDR - Female office boss is a bitch who is making working life hell, her husband runs the stores and can be a right arsehole as well (he bought a sticker for my car calling me fat! I am fat, but still >.<) but the head bosses have always paid me for sick days, employed me straight away, and i get on with them. What should i do!
Guy Posted August 30, 2013 Posted August 30, 2013 I'd start looking for something else and try to phrase it all out until something else comes along.
Esequiel Posted August 30, 2013 Author Posted August 30, 2013 I'd start looking for something else and try to phrase it all out until something else comes along. Iv been looking but the welding industry is slack at the minute and every job seems like 3 steps backwards from any sales role :/
Platty Posted August 30, 2013 Posted August 30, 2013 Sounds like you defo need to get out of there and find a new place. She sounds awful. Alternatively if you do want to stick it and make it at this place then surely you could get head office involved. They would want the best staff working for their company and the best managers running the office. If you put in a complaint about her with the proof you clearly have and this other girl can also back you up as she is leaving cos of the office manager then surely head office will listen and would want to step in and sort it out and more than likely get rid of her rather than losing good hard working staff?
Blade Posted August 30, 2013 Posted August 30, 2013 (edited) Work place bullying or victimisation is common. You could consider searching for another job and just put up with the behaviour until you have secured alternative employment. The good thing about this is that you will be getting paid and continue to enjoy your current lifestyle. In my personal opinion you should not quit your job without securing alternative employment. I discovered that there is nothing worse being unemployed. I was diagnosed with depression when I was unemployed after university and actually developed an unhealthy obsession in finding a job. If you honestly wish to stay there and feel that you cannot put up with your colleague's behaviour any longer then you should consider doing the following steps: 1. Have an informal discussion with a manager about the situation and how you are feeling. Due to the Equality Act employers ought to be taking allegations of workplace bullying seriously. If that fails... 2. Raise a formal workplace grievance. Details on how to do this should be contained within your firm's policies. Read the policy that references grievances and follow that. 3. Your employer on receipt of a grievance should carry out an investigation. You should be informed how long this is expected to take. 4. Receive a decision from your employer. 5. If you receive a decision that you did not want then you can appeal. The appeal will be considered by a different manager. If called to a meeting you may bring a fellow colleague or a Trade Union official 6 If after the appeal the decision is still not what you wanted you may wish to quit "on the spot" and claim unfair constructive dismissal through a claim to the Employment Tribunal. Please be aware that claims for constructive dismissal are notoriously difficult to win albeit impossible. If you did want to go down this route then I would strongly recommend you seek specialise advice from an employment lawyer. Please note that due to the legal aid cuts that were inplemented by the government in April 2013 legal aid is no longer available to employment matters that do not involve an element of discrimination. Also there is very useful information contained on the ACAS website. Check it out. Well you asked what you should do. I have given you advice on what you can do. Edited August 30, 2013 by Blade Chuffing dyslexia
Esequiel Posted August 30, 2013 Author Posted August 30, 2013 Alternatively if you do want to stick it and make it at this place then surely you could get head office involved. Its such a small firm there is no "head office" as such, we all work out of the same building. The two head bosses have been informed of this before, as far as im aware they had a little chat with her and thats why most of the outright nastiness dissapated, and she became more sly. I cant see any way they would get rid of her, they have had 8 staff in the last 3 years in the office alone with her being the only consistent member of staff. She plays the "I did all this" card very well, i.e getting me to do stuff then saying she did it and when she gets things wrong blaming it on other people! Well you asked what you should do. I have given you advice on what you can do. Thanks I sort of knew most of that from having my own business before, but its always nice to refresh my memory.
Daft Posted August 30, 2013 Posted August 30, 2013 Calmly confront her about it. It's easy to be snide and passive aggressive but check your own attitude and then call her on everything. If ever I get a comment I don't like at work I always ask about it. I do not suffer fools gladly; if you have something say it to my face. At least then you might find a resolution. Talking behind someone's back satisfies literally no one but the asshole who's bitching. She sounds like a sniveling shit. tl;dr - Talk to her. She'll probably be too scared to stand up for herself.
Esequiel Posted August 30, 2013 Author Posted August 30, 2013 tl;dr - Talk to her. She'll probably be too scared to stand up for herself. Thanks for the advice, iv started watching what i say and making sure im not doing anything that could be misconstrued as bitchy or out of order. Iv made a point of saying i wont bitch about anyone and have politely asked her a few times to leave me out of it when shes having a rant about someone or something. You are definatley right she can dish out the hate but confront her about it and she goes red and stutters alot. Its happened once or twice before, she will often scream about one of the head bosses for being nasty to her qn i sit there and wonder what the hell she is on about.
EEVILMURRAY Posted August 30, 2013 Posted August 30, 2013 Record the conversations and when you find any "private" emails, forward them to the higher-uppers.
Rummy Posted August 30, 2013 Posted August 30, 2013 Don't ask Sheikah, because bullying doesn't happen when we're adults. Tbh, I can only say tough it out man. Ideally you need someone above her on your side, and colleagues on your side too. Not to go running to, but just to know you have them when you REALLY need it. Tbh, you say you've 'found' these 'private' e-mails - I'd need to ask how and why? If you didn't have them you probably wouldn't be quite as bothered either! Go to work, do your job, avoid the cunts, get your money. It's certainly ain't easy sometimes - but what's the bother here? Risk of job loss or what? When you look at it, what do you feel you're lacking so much in this job that you'd get/be better off with elsewhere?
Jimbob Posted August 30, 2013 Posted August 30, 2013 It's a similar situation with me in my job, it's got to the point i stopped caring about the job. I go there, do what i need to do and leave. Get paid as well. Last thing i recall reporting in was more of the same, i'm told to not go on my phone. Whilst others can happily sew sock puppets whilst on the phone.
Esequiel Posted August 30, 2013 Author Posted August 30, 2013 Tbh, you say you've 'found' these 'private' e-mails - I'd need to ask how and why? If you didn't have them you probably wouldn't be quite as bothered either! The first time was innocent, the head guy had asked me to do a back up of the PCs including emails etc It gave me the option to back them up and the file had a subject line with my name in, i clicked out of curiosity and it was an email slagging me off. I saw them giggling last Tuesday, it was my first day back after a couple of days off legit ill with the flu. I checked her work emails before she got in the next morning and printed it off, all about how it would be better if i didnt work there. Remember that shes in charge of me, my first port of call as the "office manager". Only people above her is the commercial manager and MD who i get on with well. They are the two "head" bosses, but think the sun shines out her ass. Go to work, do your job, avoid the cunts, get your money. It's certainly ain't easy sometimes - but what's the bother here? Risk of job loss or what? When you look at it, what do you feel you're lacking so much in this job that you'd get/be better off with elsewhere? Its a office with just three of us in, the girl slags off the boss behind her back and both slag me off behind mine. When the boss isnt there the girl is dead nice to me and when shes not there the boss is a delight. Im working in sales at the minute, or more admin but its meant to be sales with the chance to move up to sales area rep with a company car etc But its only a chance and shes doing everything she can to discredit me. If i were to move id like to think it would be to a place where i dont get made to feel so small all the time, and im pretty thick skinned.
Grazza Posted August 30, 2013 Posted August 30, 2013 Esequiel - how do you manage to find out about so many private emails and conversations? Seriously, people could slag me off all the time and I'd have no idea. [EDIT] Sorry, I hadn't read it properly. But really, I only have general advice. If someone at work is doing you wrong, you should just go to the person above them.
Rummy Posted August 30, 2013 Posted August 30, 2013 The first time was innocent, the head guy had asked me to do a back up of the PCs including emails etc It gave me the option to back them up and the file had a subject line with my name in, i clicked out of curiosity and it was an email slagging me off. I saw them giggling last Tuesday, it was my first day back after a couple of days off legit ill with the flu. I checked her work emails before she got in the next morning and printed it off, all about how it would be better if i didnt work there. Remember that shes in charge of me, my first port of call as the "office manager". Only people above her is the commercial manager and MD who i get on with well. They are the two "head" bosses, but think the sun shines out her ass. You're just harming yourself. Let it go, let it slide. People talk about people, they mean it, they don't. People WILL talk - especially in such a small environment. I've bitched at old work about colleagues, I've heard colleagues bitch about colleagues - both these facts make me very aware and known to the fact they do the same for me. However my work was different and shift based, I couldn't rock the boat because doing so too hard would leave me with no work(biggest risk). I was also admittedly somewhat protected by familial privilege, but it's a double edged sword in itself. I'm moving off point - what you need to remember of sorts is that it's kinda part of it all. Its a office with just three of us in, the girl slags off the boss behind her back and both slag me off behind mine. When the boss isnt there the girl is dead nice to me and when shes not there the boss is a delight. Im working in sales at the minute, or more admin but its meant to be sales with the chance to move up to sales area rep with a company car etc But its only a chance and shes doing everything she can to discredit me. If i were to move id like to think it would be to a place where i dont get made to feel so small all the time, and im pretty thick skinned. Here's your job satisfaction and/or effect on its life. Sadly, without any other factors changing, it's what everyone else here is saying. You need to find something else(keeping this in the meantime) and then jump ship. You won't necessarily be 100% immune there but you can't fix or sort this environment without either a friend in a higher place, really solid grounds, or one of the problems leaving. These seem somewhat unlikely right now. You also need to resist that temptation of actually knowing what people are saying behind your back. You can't fix the environment here - either adapt or move. It's sad and unhelpful, but it's the only way I can see it right now from what you've said.
Esequiel Posted August 30, 2013 Author Posted August 30, 2013 I appreciate all the honesty guys It does help!
Sheikah Posted August 30, 2013 Posted August 30, 2013 Don't ask Sheikah, because bullying doesn't happen when we're adults. Yeah, because I totally said that. Rather, listen to me instead of all the meatheads on here who suggest throttling people.
Blade Posted August 30, 2013 Posted August 30, 2013 Yeah, because I totally said that. Rather, listen to me instead of all the meatheads on here who suggest throttling people. Ahem! You would find that I albeit in this thread only advocated peaceful means to resolve this situation!
Cube Posted August 30, 2013 Posted August 30, 2013 Its such a small firm there is no "head office" as such, we all work out of the same building. The two head bosses have been informed of this before, as far as im aware they had a little chat with her and thats why most of the outright nastiness dissapated, and she became more sly. I cant see any way they would get rid of her, they have had 8 staff in the last 3 years in the office alone with her being the only consistent member of staff. She plays the "I did all this" card very well, i.e getting me to do stuff then saying she did it and when she gets things wrong blaming it on other people! My boss is terrible at sacking people (I also work with a small company). On top of the social awkwardness, he was also worried that he wouldn't sack the person in the right way and that the company would be sued for it. One of the people we had problems with did virtually no work (it wasn't that he did it quietly, as his job involved preparing samples so you can visibly see what has been done). On top of this, he constantly lied and made up stores, and everyone knew as they weren't consistent. I managed to convince the boss to change his work to less important tasks, and also did things like "improving the locks" (he had a key, and didn't get one for the new locks). On top of this, most of the other staff just ignored his stores. He then left because he felt like "nobody trusted him". Everyone was happy (well, almost everyone, there was also an extremely miserable worker who only did what he had to do and never spoke to anyone except this guy - he left a month later) and my boss even suggested that if he wanted, he could just leave right there (no two weeks notice). He did. The funny thing is...we did such a good job reallocating his tasks that it's nearly a year later and we haven't needed a replacement for him.
Dog-amoto Posted September 1, 2013 Posted September 1, 2013 (edited) Make her a cup of tea. And make sure the "teabag" goes in properly. Seriously, the situation sounds awful. But I'd search for alternative employment just in case and then have it out with her face to face. The snivelling piece of shit probably won't know where to put her face. People like that really annoy me. Edited September 1, 2013 by Dog-amoto
nightwolf Posted September 1, 2013 Posted September 1, 2013 I'm definitely in agreement with quite a few of you - leave. The issue is here that you seem to be unable to speak to higher ups (or even a hr person?) about this lady and whilst usually I'd say go through the proper roots, due to it being such a small company, I doubt things will change. Pessimistic perhaps, but it sounds like the kind of company where because everyone knows everyone, you're not going to be able to change the system.
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