Goafer Posted December 3, 2013 Posted December 3, 2013 She has strung him along by the sounds of things. That's not really the point though; the way she went about it is rude. Telling people you won't date them because they're fat is just plain lack of manners, I think. I'm sure somebody overweight knows they've overweight and doesn't need to hear it. Geez, even the most half arsed 'you're not my type' is less rude than that. After all, they're not your type, so it's not lying. I just don't think you need to remind people of what must be overwhelmingly obvious to them already. I'm sure we've had this conversation before. I'd save my virtual breath if I were you. Some people can't grasp the difference between being honest and being rude.
Blade Posted December 3, 2013 Posted December 3, 2013 Come on lads. Zechs has posted a positive post and then I read further posts attacking him. I get it. You dont like him but come on can we not pick apart his posts and then flame him when he hasnt gone out to piss people off himself?
nightwolf Posted December 3, 2013 Posted December 3, 2013 I'm just going to say this. A person being overweight, may be the reason you decide not to date them. You may even go as far to tell them this. You'll forget it eventually, move on, date other people more to your liking. That person will never forget that you mentioned their weight, their hair, the way the stand, how they are too tall/too short. It sticks with you. I know you meant it with the best intentions and wanted to be honest. But sometimes honesty hurts and you carry it around. Hmmf >.< Yes I speak from experience.
Goafer Posted December 3, 2013 Posted December 3, 2013 (edited) Come on lads. Zechs has posted a positive post and then I read further posts attacking him. I get it. You dont like him but come on can we not pick apart his posts and then flame him when he hasnt gone out to piss people off himself? I just didn't want to have this whole "I'm honest" "No you're rude" conversation/argument again. It's boring and nothing changes. Or, if you want the sassy response: I was just being honest. Edited December 3, 2013 by Goafer
MoogleViper Posted December 3, 2013 Posted December 3, 2013 Hmmf >.< Yes I speak from experience. You've told people they're too fat?
Serebii Posted December 3, 2013 Posted December 3, 2013 Still nobody has responded to me. I should just start my robot army and take over the world.
nightwolf Posted December 3, 2013 Posted December 3, 2013 You've told people they're too fat? No, definitely not. I've had someone say a reason they wouldn't go on further dates with me due to my appearance (though it wasn't a fat issue). It stuck with me for a long while. It was stupid, but these things are far easily remembered over the compliments.
Beast Posted December 3, 2013 Posted December 3, 2013 To be honest, I see where Zechs is coming from but the thing that irritated me was that, as I said, we've met twice and I'd rather her have told me the truth on the time we met and had been a lot politer about it too. Like, she could have said "Sorry but you're not my type" or "I don't really date overweight men" or something, I'd have accepted it. What pissed me off with that statement was that not only did she wait after both times we met up, stringing me along and wasting my time but then she called me 'fat'. I know I'm overweight but I'm not even that hugely fat anymore, just a bit chubby. I just thought it was rude, especially because she knew that I was losing weight. When you see a picture of someone and you see their body and stuff, you'd know straight away if you're attracted to them. For me, it doesn't make a huge difference because I value personality more but there are obviously some physical features that must be had (nice teeth, for example). But yeah, Zechs and Jonnas are right, I did value the truth and honesty but it should have been said sooner and in a more polite way. But yeah, I totally put it behind me now and moved on, I just really hate rudeness even if it's honest. People call it being blunt but I think it's rude, you can tell the truth AND be polite. No, definitely not. I've had someone say a reason they wouldn't go on further dates with me due to my appearance (though it wasn't a fat issue). It stuck with me for a long while. It was stupid, but these things are far easily remembered over the compliments. They're idiots, you're hot! I know what you mean though, I had issues too. Like people tell me about how fat I am and it does stick to me and it's easily remembered more than compliments. You can brush the people off but not what they've said. But then I learned not to give a flying shite because I'm awesome-sexy and they're just jealous because of my silky chocolate complexion and my incredibly hot looks. Can't be helped! Still nobody has responded to me. I should just start my robot army and take over the world. Honestly, stick to it. The amount of messages I've sent and a few have replied to me. Send loads and don't just stick to one site, use several. I have.
Serebii Posted December 3, 2013 Posted December 3, 2013 To be honest, I see where Zechs is coming from but the thing that irritated me was that, as I said, we've met twice and I'd rather her have told me the truth on the time we met and had been a lot politer about it too. Like, she could have said "Sorry but you're not my type" or "I don't really date overweight men" or something, I'd have accepted it. What pissed me off with that statement was that not only did she wait after both times we met up, stringing me along and wasting my time but then she called me 'fat'. I know I'm overweight but I'm not even that hugely fat anymore, just a bit chubby. I just thought it was rude, especially because she knew that I was losing weight. When you see a picture of someone and you see their body and stuff, you'd know straight away if you're attracted to them. For me, it doesn't make a huge difference because I value personality more but there are obviously some physical features that must be had (nice teeth, for example). But yeah, Zechs and Jonnas are right, I did value the truth and honesty but it should have been said sooner and in a more polite way. But yeah, I totally put it behind me now and moved on, I just really hate rudeness even if it's honest. People call it being blunt but I think it's rude, you can tell the truth AND be polite. They're idiots, you're hot! I know what you mean though, I had issues too. Like people tell me about how fat I am and it does stick to me and it's easily remembered more than compliments. You can brush the people off but not what they've said. But then I learned not to give a flying shite because I'm awesome-sexy and they're just jealous because of my silky chocolate complexion and my incredibly hot looks. Can't be helped! Honestly, stick to it. The amount of messages I've sent and a few have replied to me. Send loads and don't just stick to one site, use several. I have. It's just...the reason I went with dating sites is because I don't handle rejection well and this just piles it on. I have had hundreds view my profile and so few messages. When I send messages, I don't get messages back. It's devastating.
Charlie Posted December 3, 2013 Posted December 3, 2013 I want to ask her out for a drink or something but I've no idea how to do it without becoming a massive perv. If a girl asked you out in your work would you think she's a massive perv? If you're not comfortable starting up a conversation right away then I reckon you should tell her you think she's good looking at least... but that's it, then leave. Then next time you're in then start up a conversation.Say something like "Hi, I'm sorry about the randomness of this but I just have to say, you are absolutely stunning. Really, breathtaking." Then just walk out. A compliment is at least nice, right? Do not do this, this does make you look like a creep. "Oh hey there, you look great" and then just walk away? Her exact thoughts will be "umm, ok...". Ask her out. Do it, you have nothing to lose.
nightwolf Posted December 3, 2013 Posted December 3, 2013 @Animal you absolute cutie. I wasn't digging for compliments there and I'm far past that part of my life to be worried about that sort of thing anymore. But that was really sweet - thanks! <3
Beast Posted December 3, 2013 Posted December 3, 2013 It's just...the reason I went with dating sites is because I don't handle rejection well and this just piles it on. I have had hundreds view my profile and so few messages. When I send messages, I don't get messages back. It's devastating. I know exactly how you feel, mate. I do. I've had loads of views and I've sent loads of messages and recieved only a few and most of the time, it's always me starting the conversation. Some days, I just hate it but then there are days when I don't give up on myself because I may as well sit in a corner and never live my life if I do. The thing you have to do is be happy with yourself before trying to be happy with someone else, I know that now. It took me so long to just be happy with myself the way I am; the way I am, the size I am and how I look. I tried changing it a few times until around a couple of years ago when I just said "Fuck it, I really don't give a toss!" and just decided to like myself for being myself (if that makes sense). And I have to believe that one day, there's a girl out there that can appreciate that quality about me and love me how I am. I've seen your photo and have known you on here for years and I'm MORE THAN CONFIDENT that you'll find yourself a woman, whether it be this week, month, year or a few years, she'll be there and she'll be so worth the waity. I believe this for myself too. I could've had a few women but I want the right one for me. You'll find her, I know it. If a girl asked you out in your work would you think she's a massive perv? Do not do this, this does make you look like a creep. "Oh hey there, you look great" and then just walk away? Her exact thoughts will be "umm, ok...". Ask her out. Do it, you have nothing to lose. Nah, I wouldn't really. I've been asked out before at work. This was last year and it was from a woman who had five kids of different skin and hair colour...I think she wanted to CATCH 'EM ALL- POKEMON! hehe. But yeah, that was the only time, really. She's alright to talk to but she wasn't my type. She were really loud and upfront and a little dirty and not in the good way but in the Jeremy Kyle way. @Animal you absolute cutie. I wasn't digging for compliments there and I'm far past that part of my life to be worried about that sort of thing anymore. But that was really sweet - thanks! <3 I know but I was being honest. I don't get how people can say anything about your appearance. It's baffling.
nightwolf Posted December 3, 2013 Posted December 3, 2013 People's opinions vary. You may believe I'm attractive, but others may not. There's no harm in that, there's no harm in saying I am just not attracted to you. But to specifically pick why, to me, is cruel. Some things about your appearance cannot be changed, weight - perhaps, but something else? Something that perhaps only surgery would change. I don't want to pick on Zech's because its his opinion that its ok to do so, just like its my opinion to not say those things. It gets a point across I suppose!
Beast Posted December 3, 2013 Posted December 3, 2013 I just didn't want to have this whole "I'm honest" "No you're rude" conversation/argument again. It's boring and nothing changes. Or, if you want the sassy response: I was just being honest. I love that picture so much!
Rummy Posted December 3, 2013 Posted December 3, 2013 I know but I was being honest. I don't get how people can say anything about your appearance. It's baffling. I can't believe you'd tell a lady her appearance is baffling.
nightwolf Posted December 3, 2013 Posted December 3, 2013 I can't believe you'd tell a lady her appearance is baffling.
Serebii Posted December 3, 2013 Posted December 3, 2013 I know exactly how you feel, mate. I do. I've had loads of views and I've sent loads of messages and recieved only a few and most of the time, it's always me starting the conversation. Some days, I just hate it but then there are days when I don't give up on myself because I may as well sit in a corner and never live my life if I do. The thing you have to do is be happy with yourself before trying to be happy with someone else, I know that now. It took me so long to just be happy with myself the way I am; the way I am, the size I am and how I look. I tried changing it a few times until around a couple of years ago when I just said "Fuck it, I really don't give a toss!" and just decided to like myself for being myself (if that makes sense). And I have to believe that one day, there's a girl out there that can appreciate that quality about me and love me how I am. I've seen your photo and have known you on here for years and I'm MORE THAN CONFIDENT that you'll find yourself a woman, whether it be this week, month, year or a few years, she'll be there and she'll be so worth the waity. I believe this for myself too. I could've had a few women but I want the right one for me. You'll find her, I know it. I hope you're right. I'm just getting a bit long-in-the-tooth now. By the time someone does decide to want me, I'll be long into my 50s.
Emma Posted December 3, 2013 Posted December 3, 2013 I hope you're right. I'm just getting a bit long-in-the-tooth now. By the time someone does decide to want me, I'll be long into my 50s. Okay, so I decided to find your OkCupid profile. It's actually pretty good, and the photos you've picked are good too. So if you're not getting responses from anyone, it can't be your profile, it must be the type of girls you message or the messages themselves. But I can't comment on that, because they aren't visible. However, if I was single and looking at your profile, I'd definitely like to know more than what you've put. You've mentioned a couple of things what you're good at, talk about them a little. It's very hard to see what you're really like. You say you don't get responses from girls, but it says on your message button that you 'reply often', so you must get some replies! Also finally, I know the question and answer bit shows who you are and what you want, but you might be cutting off a lot of girls just by saying you wouldn't have a relationship with someone who has a coldsore. You know most people who get coldsores only have them maybe once a year for a few days right?
Diageo Posted December 3, 2013 Posted December 3, 2013 You wouldn't date someone who gets cold sores?
MoogleViper Posted December 3, 2013 Posted December 3, 2013 You wouldn't date someone who gets cold sores? Apparently some people get a bit weird about them. Even though around 60% of the population carry the virus, and 40% suffer from them.
Diageo Posted December 3, 2013 Posted December 3, 2013 The Korean guy said he just wanted to be friends so I'm back to square one.
drahkon Posted December 3, 2013 Posted December 3, 2013 They're idiots, you're hot! @Animal you absolute cutie. [...] But that was really sweet - thanks! <3 Excuse me...? What's going on? Should I be jealous?
Sheikah Posted December 3, 2013 Posted December 3, 2013 Also finally, I know the question and answer bit shows who you are and what you want, but you might be cutting off a lot of girls just by saying you wouldn't have a relationship with someone who has a coldsore. You know most people who get coldsores only have them maybe once a year for a few days right? lol wut? That's being way too picky.
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