Posted January 7, 2014 Unless they have a Venonat tattoo in which case pursue until restraining order. (P.U.R.O.) Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted January 7, 2014 I text while in the gym saying I wasn't as sore as I expected (from the bouldering, you gutter-minded lot) and jokingly asking if he lost his keys on route home (he apparently does it often) and did get a response fairly soon after, which surprised me as he's at work today (and works on the ICU). We'll see what happens. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted January 9, 2014 I am happy So, there's this girl. She was in a relationship* with a very good mate. Explanation: They hadn't made it public, but they had told their best friends (the mate told me, that's how I knew). As far as I know, they went all the way physically, and my mate went quite a way emotionally, but she didn't. As it turned out...the lady has fear of commitment, i.e. she ended the relationship*. Now, what has this to do with me, you might ask? I never had any interest in the lady. Yes, she's gorgeous/hot/attracitve, but because I knew she was interested in my mate and vice versa, I never felt attracted to her on an emotional level. As soon as my mate said the words: "Did I tell you, that [lady] and I aren't together, anymore?" BOOM I'm attracted to her. The lady and I might go to a theatre in a week. This isn't a date, and probably won't be. But damn, if that isn't a really stupid idea. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted January 9, 2014 So you are taking a girl out that your dumped mate was emotionally involved with? Harsh. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted January 9, 2014 So you are taking a girl out that your dumped mate was emotionally involved with? Harsh. I don't consider it "taking her out", though. Yeah, doesn't sound like it, but I mean it. We're just going out as friends. Still, this doesn't seem like the best idea, now that I might become more attracted to her. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted January 10, 2014 Were you friends with her before they were in their *relationship? Either way, probably best not to go ahead with it. Either that or seduce her. You know, either/or. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted January 10, 2014 This has all of the right ingredients to go completely tits up. End well, this will not. I wouldn't bother, brah. You're asking for trouble. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted January 10, 2014 Were you friends with her before they were in their *relationship? Yup, I've known her for as long as I've known my mate (since October). Either way, probably best not to go ahead with it. Either that or seduce her. You know, either/or. Either/or. Indeed. You're asking for trouble. I know that, but for some reason, this doesn't bother me. Maybe I want the trouble? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted January 10, 2014 Of course, it's impossible to do something with a female friend without fucking her. It's a good job you guys informed me, I was about to go spend the weekend at my friend's flat. But now I know we will instantly have sex I guess I'd better cancel my plans. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted January 10, 2014 Of course, it's impossible to do something with a female friend without fucking her. It's a good job you guys informed me, I was about to go spend the weekend at my friend's flat. But now I know we will instantly have sex I guess I'd better cancel my plans. Obviously it's possible (I know you were being sarcastic, by the way, haha) but I get what everybody is saying to a degree. They're all saying that it's going to end in disaster if @drahkon decides to go further with this girl, which could be what he wants, and that it would kind of be harsh on his very good mate if he went there. At the same time though, you can both be just friends and go out and stuff but this won't really end very well for Drahkon because he wants more from a girl who possibly doesn't. And even if he does want more, he'll then have drama because his very best mate was emotionally involved with her so it's like having, by his mate's standards, the love of his life dating his best friend. If that doesn't spell awkward, I don't know what does. My advice? Just go out with her to the theatre as friends. Don't bother going for something more and risk ruining a friendship with not only your very good mate but also the girl in question. Did it end badly? If so, DEFINITELY don't go there! I guess it all depends on the person but personally, if he was a very good mate to me, I couldn't do it. There are plenty more fish in the sea, mate. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted January 10, 2014 I'm perfectly aware of every possible outcome. Maybe I've said too much already. Just to be clear: I currently have no feelings for this lady, and I'm sure that it would take some time for them to develop. And going to the theatre with her was not intended as a date or anything remotely similar. We're friends and not much has changed when my mate told me that they broke up. I think it's just the possibility that I may have a chance with her, even if it's only on a sexual level. Exactly this is what I meant with "BOOM, I'm attracted to her". (very poor wording on my part) Everything that followed in my earlier post was mainly due to me knowing how I had been with the ladies before I had my first relationship. I got easily attached. I hope that I've changed in regards to that (I think I have). To find out if I have, I think I'll heed @Animal's advice and see how it will play out. She might not even have time on that day, so nothing is set to stone, anyway. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted January 10, 2014 I'm perfectly aware of every possible outcome. Maybe I've said too much already. Just to be clear: I currently have no feelings for this lady, and I'm sure that it would take some time for them to develop. And going to the theatre with her was not intended as a date or anything remotely similar. We're friends and not much has changed when my mate told me that they broke up. I think it's just the possibility that I may have a chance with her, even if it's only on a sexual level. Exactly this is what I meant with "BOOM, I'm attracted to her". (very poor wording on my part) Everything that followed in my earlier post was mainly due to me knowing how I had been with the ladies before I had my first relationship. I got easily attached. I hope that I've changed in regards to that (I think I have). To find out if I have, I think I'll heed @Animal's advice and see how it will play out. She might not even have time on that day, so nothing is set to stone, anyway. You might not have any intentions and of course doing something you can just be friends but how do you think this would come across to your mate? If my mate decided to hang out with a girl that had sacked me off it would look like you had no respect for me whatsoever. I would not be happy. Dont do it. I dont think it will be worth it Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted January 10, 2014 If my mate decided to hang out with a girl that had jacked me off it would look like you had no respect for me whatsoever. I would not be happy. Is that what you meant? Any-trouser-way, I echo everyone's sentiments here: If I felt involved emotionally with someone then they dumped me, and were next seen going out with a close friend to the theatre, I'd have a hard time treating that as nothing. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted January 10, 2014 I knew browsing OKcupid at this time wasn't a good idea, I've only gone and sent someone on there a message. Oh well, I'll report back if I actually get a response. *Going to sleep now, will pretend none of this happened.* Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted January 10, 2014 I knew browsing OKcupid at this time wasn't a good idea, I've only gone and sent someone on there a message. Oh well, I'll report back if I actually get a response. *Going to sleep now, will pretend none of this happened.* I also did the very late night message. Even though I was sober, I woke up and thought, "Jesus Christ, what a stupid message." Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted January 10, 2014 Of course, it's impossible to do something with a female friend without fucking her. It's a good job you guys informed me, I was about to go spend the weekend at my friend's flat. But now I know we will instantly have sex I guess I'd better cancel my plans. I knew browsing OKcupid at this time wasn't a good idea, I've only gone and sent someone on there a message. Oh well, I'll report back if I actually get a response. *Going to sleep now, will pretend none of this happened.* What do you do on it apart from send people messages? Isn't that the whole point? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted January 10, 2014 You might not have any intentions and of course doing something you can just be friends but how do you think this would come across to your mate? If my mate decided to hang out with a girl that had sacked me off it would look like you had no respect for me whatsoever. I would not be happy. Dont do it. I dont think it will be worth it But if he's friends with both of them why should he stop being friends with her just because those two friends 'broke up' - it's all nothing to do with @drahkon(unless it is, nudge nudge ). If Drahkon's friend doesn't trust him, that's his problem. Of course, it's up to Drahkon what he's going to do about that trust... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted January 10, 2014 What do you do on it apart from send people messages? Isn't that the whole point? It is but I'm just not used to doing it, also with it being late at night when I sent the message which Moogle mentioned never seems to be an optimum time for such things but oh well, I've got to start again at some point I suppose so this is probably a good thing, I'm just a little bit apprehensive towards the whole thing due to lack of practice. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted January 10, 2014 it's all nothing to do with @drahkon(unless it is, nudge nudge ) Nothing to do with me . If Drahkon's friend doesn't trust him, that's his problem. Of course, it's up to Drahkon what he's going to do about that trust... I think the lot here assume I want something to come out of me going to theatre with her. And I agree, that I may have given the impression that I do. But it's nothing more than a friend going out with a friend. The timing is probably not perfect, I can see that Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted January 10, 2014 Maybe people are confused because you said that you're attracted to her. Or maybe it's because you posted this in the relationship thread. Or maybe it's because you totally do want something to happen. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted January 10, 2014 Yeah, maybe. Thanks Magnus. :p Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted January 10, 2014 Never say never is all :p I get where drahkon's coming from though. I've also stayed friends with a couple people who were friend's ex's or thereabouts, I can see why it might be weird but if you're friends anyway then why's it matter? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted January 10, 2014 As someone who personally has pretty deep set commitment/paranoia/emotional issues (I'm working on it), I'd say you're probably in for some trouble. Sure, peruse it if it ends up that way, but dealing with people like that? Tricky. Very tricky. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted January 10, 2014 And I agree, that I may have given the impression that I do. I don't see where anybody could have gotten that from... Yes, she's gorgeous/hot/attracitve, BOOM I'm attracted to her. now that I might become more attracted to her. Maybe I want the trouble? I think it's just the possibility that I may have a chance with her, even if it's only on a sexual level. ...who knows? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
