Beast Posted May 27, 2014 Posted May 27, 2014 Well, I would've used your advice, but it kinda didn't work out that way Yesterday she spent the night, we watched some TV, got closer and eventually we made out. And I thought: "Man, you should tell her what this is about" so I said: "If you want more, I'm not sure whether I can do this." Her response (with a cheeky grin): "Don't worry, this is just about sex" and then she took off my shirt. I guess I don't need to go on describing the events that followed :p A little anecdote: I always wanted to have sex to the following track: Later that night, I put on a She Wants Revenge playlist and, well... Edit: Fuck, didn't see that this would be a double post -.- Doesn't matter, had sex. MAAAAAAAAAAAAAN! MAAAAAN! *high-fives* MAAAAAAAAAAAAN!
drahkon Posted May 27, 2014 Posted May 27, 2014 MAAAAAAAAAAAAAN! MAAAAAN! *high-fives* MAAAAAAAAAAAAN!
S.C.G Posted May 29, 2014 Posted May 29, 2014 Decided to message someone new on OK Cupid... she seems nice from her profile, very much into gaming, though she might not be interested in me but I figured it was worth a shot. Will report back if I get a reply. : peace: I got a reply, all seems good initially so I've messaged her back. *cautiously optimistic* It was all good up until that point, she even said that it would be nice to talk to someone who is equally as passionate about games, so I sent her three further messages - spread out over the course of the week - but I've yet to have a single additional reply since she first got back to me a week ago. So naturally I'm thinking to myself just what exactly did I do wrong? In my first follow-up message I just talked a little bit about games, asking what hers are, mentioning some of the games I play, she has a PS3 so I mentioned that I have one as it's that and the Wii U that I play the most - don't try and tell me that it was the Wii U's fault, its had enough blame already - on the second follow-up message I decided to tell her a bit about my day in vague detail also asking about hers and finally in the last message I simply kept it even shorter just asking her if she would like to meet up at some point - it even says on her page 'message me if you want to chat or even go for a coffee' so... - that's basically it. Should I just leave it there N-E? I mean she goes on the site daily - I check it once or twice a day, usually briefly - so it would seem to me that she either... a) isn't that bothered after all b) is already talking to someone else c) is too busy to reply but not to check the site I know I probably shouldn't trouble myself over this but it just seems odd to me, why say that you want to chat plus that you're looking forward to talking with someone who shares your enthusiasm for gaming more than anyone else and then... nothing. Anyway, any suggestions welcome as I am clearly hopeless at this, for now I'm just going to sign out of the dating site, play some more Mario Kart 8 and forget until I can figure out what to do. *Mario Kart makes everything better! *If all else fails I think I'll just invite her over to play MK8, if that doesn't get a response then I'm convinced that nothing will!
Magnus Posted May 29, 2014 Posted May 29, 2014 Keep sending her messages until she responds. You'd better get used to girls showing an interest only to stop responding for seemingly no reason.
Beast Posted May 29, 2014 Posted May 29, 2014 @S\.C\.G, this happens a lot to me. When I was new to these sites, it totally got me down because I thought it may have been me. But then I realised that I'm totally awesome, I'm totally myself and they're missing out on my awesome sauce (take that how you will but it's EXACTLY what it sounds like ). Then I realise that I shouldn't let that stop me and I message other girls, hoping one day one of them will see my awesomeness and will just be nice, kind and just as awesome as me! I'm going to try Tinder. I just hate Facebook so much though...ugh! If I ain't getting a girl, no-one's getting a girl! #AnimalsNeedsRomance
MoogleViper Posted May 30, 2014 Posted May 30, 2014 Keep sending her messages until she responds. You'd better get used to girls showing an interest only to stop responding for seemingly no reason. I'm yet to receive a response from French girl (texted her on monday).
Charlie Posted May 30, 2014 Posted May 30, 2014 It was all good up until that point, she even said that it would be nice to talk to someone who is equally as passionate about games, so I sent her three further messages - spread out over the course of the week - but I've yet to have a single additional reply since she first got back to me a week ago. So naturally I'm thinking to myself just what exactly did I do wrong? In my first follow-up message I just talked a little bit about games, asking what hers are, mentioning some of the games I play, she has a PS3 so I mentioned that I have one as it's that and the Wii U that I play the most - don't try and tell me that it was the Wii U's fault, its had enough blame already - on the second follow-up message I decided to tell her a bit about my day in vague detail also asking about hers and finally in the last message I simply kept it even shorter just asking her if she would like to meet up at some point - it even says on her page 'message me if you want to chat or even go for a coffee' so... - that's basically it. Should I just leave it there N-E? I mean she goes on the site daily - I check it once or twice a day, usually briefly - so it would seem to me that she either... a) isn't that bothered after all b) is already talking to someone else c) is too busy to reply but not to check the site I know I probably shouldn't trouble myself over this but it just seems odd to me, why say that you want to chat plus that you're looking forward to talking with someone who shares your enthusiasm for gaming more than anyone else and then... nothing. Anyway, any suggestions welcome as I am clearly hopeless at this, for now I'm just going to sign out of the dating site, play some more Mario Kart 8 and forget until I can figure out what to do. *Mario Kart makes everything better! *If all else fails I think I'll just invite her over to play MK8, if that doesn't get a response then I'm convinced that nothing will! Dude... Never sent more than one message without a reply back. You're freaking her out by sending her loads in a row without a reply.
Magnus Posted May 30, 2014 Posted May 30, 2014 I'm yet to receive a response from French girl (texted her on monday). Send her another text that reads "pls respond".
S.C.G Posted May 30, 2014 Posted May 30, 2014 Dude... Never sent more than one message without a reply back. You're freaking her out by sending her loads in a row without a reply. I honestly didn't think three messages within a whole week was that many. What would be your advice going forward? Just forget and move on or send another message apologising for 'freaking her out' if that is indeed the case? I'm genuinely asking here, it would seem to me though that sending one last message would be the way forward even though doing that would seem to be contradictory in itself, it seems to be something of a 'Catch 22' situation. On the other side of it, don't you think that it's a really frustrating way to communicate? You send a message... then how long do you wait for a reply? There seem to be loads of unwritten rules. Also to add some context, when she initially replied it was on the same day as I sent the message so I took that as being a good sign. It seems I have a lot to learn.
MoogleViper Posted May 30, 2014 Posted May 30, 2014 Send her another text that reads "pls respond". I've already sent that 4 times (each time I add another "pls").
Blade Posted May 30, 2014 Posted May 30, 2014 I honestly didn't think three messages within a whole week was that many. What would be your advice going forward? Just forget and move on or send another message apologising for 'freaking her out' if that is indeed the case? I'm genuinely asking here, it would seem to me though that sending one last message would be the way forward even though doing that would seem to be contradictory in itself, it seems to be something of a 'Catch 22' situation. On the other side of it, don't you think that it's a really frustrating way to communicate? You send a message... then how long do you wait for a reply? There seem to be loads of unwritten rules. Also to add some context, when she initially replied it was on the same day as I sent the message so I took that as being a good sign. It seems I have a lot to learn. If she's arsed she will reply to you. In other words move on and keep messaging others.
S.C.G Posted May 30, 2014 Posted May 30, 2014 If she's arsed she will reply to you. In other words move on and keep messaging others. Well as it happens I did message someone else last night - longer distance but better match % - so I thought it was worth a go, it was really late though and possibly ill-advised of me to be messaging at 2:30am - couldn't sleep - but I've got to at least try in the meantime I guess. It would be somewhat ironic if I finally got a reply back from the original person I was messaging after talking with someone else... or more like sod's law I suppose, meh I'll get there eventually. : peace:
Charlie Posted May 30, 2014 Posted May 30, 2014 I honestly didn't think three messages within a whole week was that many. What would be your advice going forward? Just forget and move on or send another message apologising for 'freaking her out' if that is indeed the case? I'm genuinely asking here, it would seem to me though that sending one last message would be the way forward even though doing that would seem to be contradictory in itself, it seems to be something of a 'Catch 22' situation. On the other side of it, don't you think that it's a really frustrating way to communicate? You send a message... then how long do you wait for a reply? There seem to be loads of unwritten rules. Also to add some context, when she initially replied it was on the same day as I sent the message so I took that as being a good sign. It seems I have a lot to learn. Forget and move on. Without meaning to sound harsh, that's what she's done. If she has logged in then she will have seen your messages and chosen not to reply. Each time you send another message without a reply it makes you look even more desperate. It would be somewhat ironic if I finally got a reply back from the original person I was messaging after talking with someone else... or more like sod's law I suppose, meh I'll get there eventually. : peace: Online dating, in my opinion, is a numbers game. Don't just hold out for one girl to reply. If she doesn't reply then you've just wasted a week waiting on her when you could've been talking to other girls.
S.C.G Posted May 30, 2014 Posted May 30, 2014 Forget and move on. Without meaning to sound harsh, that's what she's done. If she has logged in then she will have seen your messages and chosen not to reply. Each time you send another message without a reply it makes you look even more desperate. Online dating, in my opinion, is a numbers game. Don't just hold out for one girl to reply. If she doesn't reply then you've just wasted a week waiting on her when you could've been talking to other girls. It's ok, I appreciate your honesty. Also as it happens I literally just received a reply back from the lady who I messaged last night, so naturally I've replied - once- and she's still online but I'm going to just try playing it cool as I have to leave for work soon in any case. But yes again, initially promising so we shall see. : peace:
Blade Posted May 30, 2014 Posted May 30, 2014 Online dating, in my opinion, is a numbers game. Don't just hold out for one girl to reply. If she doesn't reply then you've just wasted a week waiting on her when you could've been talking to other girls. Completely agree. You might get sacked off a few times but eventually you find one. @S\.C\.G just keep on messaging and dating. Don't just stick to messaging one. Message them all haha! Go on a few dates! Enjoy yourself meeting new people!
Goafer Posted May 30, 2014 Posted May 30, 2014 Online dating, in my opinion, is a numbers game. Don't just hold out for one girl to reply. If she doesn't reply then you've just wasted a week waiting on her when you could've been talking to other girls. This. Message every girl you find that you feel is a good match. Some will reply, most won't. One of the worst mistakes I made was waiting too long to ask to meet. You can't charm someone properly with Internet messages, so the sooner you can meet them in person the better. I'd say 3-5 messages is a good time to ask . By that point you'll both be able to tell if there's enough shared interest to make conversation in real life. And finally, don't obsess over one person. Even if one person has replied, still keep messaging new people. I only stopped when I had an actual date lined up and even then, I carried on with any other conversations I had going on. Online dating isn't some perfect system where you need to remain faithful to one person at a time. It's like in real life: you meet and talk to hundreds of people in your lifetime until you find one that will let you touch their naughty parts.
ReZourceman Posted May 30, 2014 Posted May 30, 2014 Just be thankful you're not me. I got lucky bagging one young. I cannot imagine attempting to find and locate a mate. I mean....I'm awful. I am just awful aren't I? Gives me shivers. Good luck S.C.G.
Sheikah Posted May 31, 2014 Posted May 31, 2014 Just be thankful you're not me. I got lucky bagging one young. Lucky, as in they didn't spot you hauling someone young into a bag? That's so ReZ.
MoogleViper Posted June 8, 2014 Posted June 8, 2014 Couple of [petty] questions about asking for a date. How long after first messaging somebody (online dating) do you wait before asking for a date? How far in advance do you propose the date? How far is too far?
Raining_again Posted June 8, 2014 Posted June 8, 2014 I agree with all of the above, move on keep messaging. Try not to take it to heart if they don't reply or stop replying. Its far better than them leading you on and letting you think there is a chance, right? Talking to lots of girls (or even guys) is not wrong, you do not have to isolate your social needs into one person... It might help you if you do talk to more than one person and just take it easy. If one doesn't reply someone else will. And don't send more than 1 message without a reply!
Goafer Posted June 8, 2014 Posted June 8, 2014 Couple of [petty] questions about asking for a date. How long after first messaging somebody (online dating) do you wait before asking for a date? How far in advance do you propose the date? How far is too far? As soon as you think you've exchanged enough information that a real life meet wouldn't feel weird/forced. Think of messaging as research. As soon as you've found out enough to start a real conversation, ask to meet. My general rule was 3-5 messages. Be confident. By that point, she must be at least partially interested, otherwise she wouldn't have messaged back that many times. One of 3 things will happen: 1, she says no or doesn't reply. In this case, she was just looking for conversation and was never going to say yes. At least you've saved yourself from getting your hopes up and potentially missing out on someone who is interested. 2, she says that it's a bit soon. In which case play it by ear and maybe ask again after some time has passed. 3, she says yes. That's when the real worry sets in... As for how far in advance, I'd say why wait? As soon as you're both available.
MoogleViper Posted June 8, 2014 Posted June 8, 2014 As for how far in advance, I'd say why wait? As soon as you're both available. Well I was thinking the next weekend. That's not too far in advance is it?
Goafer Posted June 8, 2014 Posted June 8, 2014 Well I was thinking the next weekend. That's not too far in advance is it? I wouldn't have thought so. I guess it's just like arranging an event with friends. I think I just always asked them when they were free.
Ellmeister Posted June 9, 2014 Posted June 9, 2014 No the next weekend is fine, especially if you're busy beforehand, shows she's not top priority...yet. I take longer to ask girls on dates as I prefer to know them a bit better first bit Goafer is right for the most part I think. Had a second date yesterday, she wasn't as pretty as I remembered but I get on really well with her and she is just so different from my ex in a good way so think will carry on seeing her! She also says I'm cute which makes me more confident in myself
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