Happenstance Posted June 19, 2011 Posted June 19, 2011 I can only assume you have some issues with women that are affecting your view of this situation Kurtle because absolutely nothing from what Goron has said seems like he was "fucked about". It sounds to me like its a shame they broke up but it was done for a vaild reason that he himself accepts. Im willing to bet that if Goron had come on here and told the story but he had broken up with his girlfriend for the exact same reason we wouldnt be seeing the same reaction from you.
Kurtle Squad Posted June 19, 2011 Author Posted June 19, 2011 I can only assume you have some issues with women that are affecting your view of this situation Kurtle because absolutely nothing from what Goron has said seems like he was "fucked about". It sounds to me like its a shame they broke up but it was done for a vaild reason that he himself accepts. Im willing to bet that if Goron had come on here and told the story but he had broken up with his girlfriend for the exact same reason we wouldnt be seeing the same reaction from you. Probably not quite as negative; but it's to do with who's the "victim", rather than the gender. If it were the other way around and she were the one here, I can't say exactly how I'd be; only because I don't understand women.* *Would the Govt. like me to turn myself in based on such an admission?
Coolness Bears Posted June 19, 2011 Posted June 19, 2011 *plays Saria's Song for Goron* It may feel bad now but soon you will be up and dancing in no time: I heard it from the King himself.
The Bard Posted June 19, 2011 Posted June 19, 2011 Post Ah bro, you know I love you, and I've kinda been in a similar position, so I feel all the more gutted for you, but if you really feel strongly about staying together, you should argue that point with her, until you're blue in the face. That is, unless you feel that you can't really foster an ongoing relationship thats based on just a few months, and maintain it long distance, which is where I think you're coming from on this. Then again, I know you decently, you're a smart and good looking lad, so don't let your hurt come from some idea that you'll not find anyone like her again; you will. As I say; "Love is the state in which man sees things most widely different from what they are..." and more than being based on the individual qualities of the people in the relationship, its more a willingness to love that allows a relationship to thrive. As long as you can allow yourself to move on, you're golden. Jesus, I'm such a fucking pansy recently. Genuinely losing all previously accrued man cred.
Wesley Posted June 19, 2011 Posted June 19, 2011 Yeah I feel for you Goron_3. My girlfriend has finished university and is off applying for jobs in crazy places like Cambridge (I'd never heard of it until she mentioned it, had to Google it). I've still got a year to go of uni. So that's going from 3 year living together to a sudden long distance thang. To make it worse when I graduate I'm definitely up for working in Canada. Dunno, just got to roll with it I suppose.
Kurtle Squad Posted June 19, 2011 Author Posted June 19, 2011 Okay: Talk to her about this and see if it's what she really wants or whether you could get it to work. If not then you're going to have to try and deal with it. I wouldn't suggest keeping in contact if it goes that direction; but on your head be it. Some relationships and people need a kick up the arse, but if multiple don't help and she still thinks not being with you is "for the best", then it's not worth chasing after. If she comes back realising she wants to be with you, even after a few months, then I'd take the chance to try again; don't cut off your nose to spite your face. Happy now guys?
Goron_3 Posted June 19, 2011 Posted June 19, 2011 Ah bro, you know I love you, and I've kinda been in a similar position, so I feel all the more gutted for you, but if you really feel strongly about staying together, you should argue that point with her, until you're blue in the face. That is, unless you feel that you can't really foster an ongoing relationship thats based on just a few months, and maintain it long distance, which is where I think you're coming from on this. Then again, I know you decently, you're a smart and good looking lad, so don't let your hurt come from some idea that you'll not find anyone like her again; you will. As I say; "Love is the state in which man sees things most widely different from what they are..." and more than being based on the individual qualities of the people in the relationship, its more a willingness to love that allows a relationship to thrive. As long as you can allow yourself to move on, you're golden. Jesus, I'm such a fucking pansy recently. Genuinely losing all previously accrued man cred. Annoyingly, I wasn't even thinking about doing this until about 2 hours ago I began crying/feeling down and I think I might just ask her why she changed from 'see how it goes' to 'I can't commit to this anymore'. I dunno, I'm sure I'll be fine. I think most of these feelings are just from losing something great, but I'll find someone again and I know we'll stay close friends if circumstance allows. And cheers for the compliments brah.
Wesley Posted June 19, 2011 Posted June 19, 2011 I'm amazed that people here actually keep in contact with ex-people. I mean... I know you always say, "We'll stay friends..." But... shit, people actually do that? Why would you want a visual reminder of that. Freaks me out. I avoid friends I've fallen out with/grown apart from. Actually I avoid friends sometimes. I'm a shitty person really.
Fierce_LiNk Posted June 19, 2011 Posted June 19, 2011 I'm amazed that people here actually keep in contact with ex-people. I mean... I know you always say, "We'll stay friends..." But... shit, people actually do that? Why would you want a visual reminder of that. Freaks me out. I avoid friends I've fallen out with/grown apart from. Actually I avoid friends sometimes. I'm a shitty person really. It depends on how close you were in the first place, whether it was a 2 month thing or a 2 year...thing. I'd find it awkward personally. But, it really depends on your relationship with that person. If Goron thinks they can still be friends, then I trust his judgement on that one. Although, you've got to be prepared for when they move on as well, just like you will Goron. (unless something dramatic happens now and you stay together)
nightwolf Posted June 19, 2011 Posted June 19, 2011 She doesn't sound worth it. Sorry... Bit late to the party here - sorry. But this comment is quite harsh, the girl has obviously spent the last couple of years training and learning and now wants to pursue it by getting herself a career, honestly I've done exactly the same and have spilt with someone I shouldn't have due to it. But it's worth it, I am sorry for Goron, it's a difficult thing to like/love someone and be with them only a short time for it to be cut off, but at the same time if Goron understands, we should too, she isn't doing it to go off with someone else, she's trying to find her own life and unfortunately for them both as I'm sure she's not actually happy herself (unless she's a heartless cow, but I doubt that.) she's doing it for her future! I don't know if that made any sense so: Chasing a career = doesn't make you evil Goron = hugs There. I really like someone here in Cambridge, but much like Goron's situation, I don't particularly want to do something about it incase I'm not here soon. >.<
Wesley Posted June 19, 2011 Posted June 19, 2011 Is this why one night stands are best? But seriously, the moving away thing absolutely sucks balls. I wish the future would hurry up an arrive. Then we'll have those teleports and other crazing things that we were promised.
nightwolf Posted June 19, 2011 Posted June 19, 2011 Is this why one night stands are best? But seriously, the moving away thing absolutely sucks balls. I wish the future would hurry up an arrive. Then we'll have those teleports and other crazing things that we were promised. One night stands are only ok if your not friends with them, honestly that shit is crazy if you are. I mean..I don't condone it at all..ahem.
Retro_Link Posted June 19, 2011 Posted June 19, 2011 but I'll find someone againThe sound of screaming V8's will soon fill that gap!
Dyson Posted June 19, 2011 Posted June 19, 2011 If you're looking for some rebound sex, I hear Dyson's ex is available. Yeeah.. about that... ..No, I'm totally kidding, nothing happened We got to discuss how we've been since we split up and discuss the reasons for it, which I didn't really get to do before. Ultimately, I think closure has been achieved, and I am happy for that. Goron, buddy, that completely sucks. I think what must hurt the most is knowing there's nothing you can do about it. I don't really know what to suggest other than to hang in there and keep your chin up, bud.
Kurtle Squad Posted June 19, 2011 Author Posted June 19, 2011 (edited) It depends on how close you were in the first place, whether it was a 2 month thing or a 2 year...thing. Me and my ex were best-friends, and together for years (most of it long distance, but that made no real difference appart from wanting it not to be, and obviously physicalness). But after it ended I couldn't bare to stay just friends; it's too painful - which is why I'm suggesting to Goron that it's a bad idea to stay in contact if he really wants to be with this girl. Bit late to the party here - sorry. No problem. I know how it feels when you've something to say but you're sort of late; feel free to get things off your chest with me (unless it's ages later). I'm actually a nice enough guy; I just get riled easily, especially over the last year. Edited June 19, 2011 by Kurtle Squad
Goron_3 Posted June 19, 2011 Posted June 19, 2011 I think staying friends is a very hard thing and can be very circumstantial. I'm not friends with my last ex because it ended pretty badly (her going out with a close friend soon after) but it's been 6 months from them and I'd love to get talking to her again; she was a part of my life and gave me some truly incredible memories. I think when I get back to university in september I will have to say hi to her. The same goes to this girl. I'm not gonna drop contact with her because circumstance stopped us from working. I've learnt a lot over the years and one of the most important things in that time is that there are some truly special friends you make and you have to make sure you appreciate them (ie. Zell for me). She is an incredible girl and I'm sure I can man up some hurt pride and talk to her. I don't want to look back at it and be like 'damn she was such a good friend and we had such a laugh, shame it would've hurt my pride'. Yes, it can be awkward but if you make your way through it there's a great friendship there At least, that's my take on it, but I guess that's cos I love pretty much everybody. Funnily enough, it's one of my best friends 21st in a month and I'm going. The girl who is turning 21 is good friend with her too so naturally Jaiya (the girl who I just broke up with) said she still wants to come if that's ok with me. I'm actually fine with it, I just hope we can have a laugh, as opposed to me seeing her and being like 'oh damn, she's fit...fml'.
Kurtle Squad Posted June 19, 2011 Author Posted June 19, 2011 You seem to be thinking clearly very fast If you were ever upset by anything I posted, that wasn't my intention.
Goron_3 Posted June 19, 2011 Posted June 19, 2011 Don't worry I'm not offended by anything you said Everyone is entitled to their own opinion, and we can only give advice given off past experiences so all our opinions will vary no doubt. I wouldn't say I'm thinking clearly, but I'm realistic. I'm hurting a lot, but I'm old enough to know in the grand scheme of things, I'm going to end up happy, with kids and a hopefully a lot of money so this is a tiny issue You never know what will happen in the future though, it's best not to burn bridges where possible.
Beast Posted June 19, 2011 Posted June 19, 2011 I'm sorry to hear about your news, Goron, it really sounds like you've had an incredible relationship with this girl. Is there not ANYWAY to see her every now and again or isn't there anyway you could have some kind of long-distance relationship? Also, if it's while she is studying, you both could be back together again when she finishes her studies. I'm not trying to get your hopes up or anything but don't throw out the idea either. I know it's really hard but think positive, you've had a proper loving relationship with someone you've clicked with for months and could potentially be back together again at some point, not many in this world can say that. I know it seems like I'm giving shit advice right now but thinking like this was how I got through my heartbreak. I hope this post helped in some way... Things will get better, my friend, hang in there!
Ellmeister Posted June 20, 2011 Posted June 20, 2011 I feel bad for you Goron, but I also hope your ex doesn't get a job at KPMG :p With what sounds like an astounding first degree qualification, she'll make me look terrible! Also Kurtle, you seem to be able to dish out relationship advice easily but don't want to take anyone else's advice or guidance into account for yourself. Some people have come up with really good and helpful advice and almost every time you just dismiss it!
nightwolf Posted June 20, 2011 Posted June 20, 2011 No problem. I know how it feels when you've something to say but you're sort of late; feel free to get things off your chest with me (unless it's ages later). I'm actually a nice enough guy; I just get riled easily, especially over the last year. I wasn't here to be mean with you, only to have a ''healthy'' debate, ages don't matter, experience possibly more.
Kurtle Squad Posted June 20, 2011 Author Posted June 20, 2011 Also Kurtle, you seem to be able to dish out relationship advice easily but don't want to take anyone else's advice or guidance into account for yourself. Some people have come up with really good and helpful advice and almost every time you just dismiss it! The contexts are rather different - almost exact opposites.
Dannyboy-the-Dane Posted June 20, 2011 Posted June 20, 2011 The contexts are rather different - almost exact opposites. How are they different? I see no difference at all. Sorry to hear it, Goron. That truly does suck. I hope everything turns out for the best for both of you. --- In other news, does anyone have any advice on flirting? Because it seems the main obstacle I'm facing at the moment is suckage in the flirting department.
Kurtle Squad Posted June 20, 2011 Author Posted June 20, 2011 How are they different? I see no difference at all. Goron has been broken up with; I'm trying to do the opposite. I have experience with the former, and none with the latter, though that may seem strange.
Goron_3 Posted June 20, 2011 Posted June 20, 2011 I feel bad for you Goron, but I also hope your ex doesn't get a job at KPMG :p With what sounds like an astounding first degree qualification, she'll make me look terrible! Also Kurtle, you seem to be able to dish out relationship advice easily but don't want to take anyone else's advice or guidance into account for yourself. Some people have come up with really good and helpful advice and almost every time you just dismiss it! She makes me look terrible, I got a mid 2.1 and was happy til she told me what she got :P Thanks to everyone for what they've said over the last couple of pages. It's nice to know that if other people can understand the situation there isn't much point being too down about it. Thanks again.
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