ReZourceman Posted November 2, 2010 Share Posted November 2, 2010 (edited) I want to apply for a job today, so need (at least this iteration of my C.V.) done straight away. Its formatted obviously, in my world, with my info and referees. Profile - Determined and loyal, focused and hard working. I am very passionate about working to the highest standard possible. Having worked in and volunteeered in several areas I now have an expansive skill set. I am polite, have experience with working with customers directly and indirectly, handling large amounts of information, organising and arranging products, data input, database creation and office administration. I am creative and bold, not afraid to hilight improvements where I feel they could be made. I am a logical thinker and have helped many areas of all business' I have worked in grow and evolve. Employment History - Customer Services Representative, Halifax Bank of Scotland March 2006 - June 2010, Full time Role Description I started out solely taking incoming calls from clients, dealing with single products, but I quickly moved on to cover all of the products that we administered at this site. As my competence grew I took on more responsibilities including administration, call backs for line managers, client research and correlation for in-house advisors, complaint case handling and training. These were all activities beyond my core role and expected performance. I also initiated several research projects that I hilighted to senior managers areas that could be improved upon. In this role I learnt and showed skills in - - Verbal contact skills. - Dealing with information in a timely manner. - Calming down agitated clients. - Various computer and systems knowledge. - An understanding of financial products and the financial industry. - How to manage a vast range of situations. ---------------------- Customer Assistant - Delicatessen and Bakery, Waitrose June 2004 - March 2006, Part time Role Description Serve customers directly on the food counters. Ordering and restocking products, Cleaning and operating large machinery, displaying products in an eye catching way, baking products. I was also taught with a high knowledge on the range of products we offered. In this role I learnt and showed skills in - - Direct contact skills. - Work to specific deadlines in a short period of time. - Future planning and stock estimations. ---------------------- Customer Assistant and Gaming Organiser, Axion Comics, January 2004 - November 2005, Part time Role Description Operated the till and helped customers with queries. Organising all products in the store, in some cases alphabetising and numerising very large quantities of products. Arranged gaming tournaments taking customer details and designing posters and attendance sheets. Helped with weekly delivery of products and distributing to standing order customers. Also volunteered several times for teaching about the importance of reading and education, meetings held at Chesham and Amersham libraries. In this role I learnt and showed skills in - - Handling money. - Extensive organisational skills in different areas and situations. - Managing groups of people, assigning specific tasks. Education and qualifications - SHOULD I BE MORE SPECIFIC WITH GRADE? I GOT B-E IN GCSE AND AM TECHNICALLY LY-ING ABOUT THE AVCE, AS I ONLY GOT A PARTIAL CREDITATION DUE TO I WAS KICKED OUT. 2003 - 2005 Aylesbury College AVCE in Art & Design. Commendations in typography, fine art and computer design. 2000 - 2003 Chesham Park Community College Eleven GCSE's including English, Maths, Science, Statistics and Art & Design. Additional Information - - Very extensive computer skills including, Adobe Photoshop, Microsoft Word, Microsoft Excel, Sony Vegas video editing as well as countless other programmes. - Experience in administering websites and updating with information. - Typing speed is 65wpm. - Full driving license, no points, held for over 3 years. References - Edited November 2, 2010 by ReZourceman Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guy Posted November 2, 2010 Share Posted November 2, 2010 (edited) Put something about your hobbies and interests. Maybe instead of achievements. It shows you're a personality man. I'm probably wrong. A friend had to leap in and amend my CV extensively after I showed her my initial draft... which I think I may actually still have. Yep. Found it: Captain Guy Reginald John Hodge Address/contact information was here. I'm not posting it. PERSONAL PROFILE IN WHICH I PROBABLY LOSE THIS JOB! This is the part where you're supposed to "big yourself up", right? Well, here goes. I'm a polite, hardworki- everyone writes that trash here, don't they. Let's try something a little different. I am a terrible human being. A brutish rogue once nicknamed "Tearjerker" by his peers. A man capable of boiling a Pot Noodle full of cold water by just yelling angrily at it. Alright, so I suppose you can gather from that abysmal opening I've got a sense of humour and literally no sense of appropriateness. Doing well so far, Guy! I'm actually a widely creative, approachable, pleasant, dependable individual without any severely unfriendly features such as a snout or talons. Talons are not friendly. I have yet to discover any super-human abilities in myself but remain hopeful. I am also aware this is not the professional way to open a CV - but you, prospective employer, must be so weary of perusing the same old manufactured spiel in these things that hopefully this abomination of an introduction has perked your interest to continue reading. In all actuality I've been struggling to find work for some time now and having had no success with a serious, generic resume I've constructed this slightly more eccentric one. If I'm going to consistently fail at job applications I hope to at least to amuse the person rejecting me. If you are not amused and boring, please free to discard this document, but please remember to recycle. Actually I don't really care if you recycle. EMPLOYMENT HISTORY THAT WOWED SIR. ALAN SUGAR TWICE! Graphic Design/ICT/Whatever Nobody Else Wanted to Do June 2007 - February 2010 Having shown artistic flair throughout my life, I began to pursue work under questionable self employed status in the graphics design industry. I predominantly provided services to a commercial and residential advertising signboard company based in Kings Langley. My duties there included work using Photoshop/Serif, screen printing and eventually majorly in adhesive vinyl application. I also liaised with clients via phone and email. At this wretched place I would often be called upon to do the things nobody else wanted to. If a cup was drained of tea I would be summoned to refill it. If a horny rat needed someone to give it a blow job the responsibility to drink his lustful juice would also become mine. I endured this for a number of years before eventually realising the entire deal was lousy and quit in spectacular fashion, secretly crafting a makeshift catapult over a period of months and using it to fire myself out through the roof. Website Content Editing/Location Research/Wasting My Time at a Doomed Job August 2006 – December 2006 I spent a brief period working part-time for a company endeavouring to sell and rent properties to middle-class sunseekers looking to take up residence in Spain. My duties included researching property development information, creating pages in Dreamweaver adhering to an existing design specification and editing numerous graphics in Adobe Photoshop to be used on the site. This was to become a permanent employment position but unfortunately the company disbanded due to low market interest at the end of 2006. Damn! What next? I swore never to take on such an obvious dud job again. I also swore years later when I realised that's exactly what I ended up doing for the next few years. Customer Service Assistant/Slave Feb 2003 - June 2007 Ah, Somerfield. A company situated lowest on the hierarchy of our nation's supermarkets, placing even below the pathetic Happy Shopper franchise. My time here saw me carrying out such riveting duties such as stock replenishment in all departments and ensuring the security of the store at closing. I was also checkout trained and would man them at peak times, using my discount card for customers I liked and double scanning items on anyone I hated. Despite this corruption I was viewed as a dedicated and valued worker, regularly praised for my aptitude for customer service. During my time there I struck up a solid rapport with many people, most likely because I exhausted every avenue in my power to save them money whenever I could. BORING EDUCATION HISTORY LISTED UNDER THIS BORING HEADING! Bushey Meads School Secondary Education English Language - C AVCE ICT (Intermediate) - Merit INTERESTS OTHER THAN THROWING SQUIRRELS UP AT THE SUN! I am a keen artist, writer, professed geek and video game/film/television enthusiast with a particular fondness for material from my youth. I currently publish a dreadful online blog comic strip on a website I myself constructed making extensive use of Adobe Photoshop, Dreamweaver and utilising a content management system. I also produce gaming comics on a weekly basis to another site which remarkably account for a substantial percentage of the entire site's traffic influx. I like to use these comics as an outlet for my creativity, insanity and sense of humour. Like Wayne Campbell's dream to do Wayne's World for a living, I aspire to draw online comics well into a time period when arthritis renders me unable to continue - and yes, I did just reference a classic Mike Myers movie in a professional document. Most excellent! Unfortunately everyone needs money and my dream is not an instantly profitable one. I am able to operate both Windows and OSX operating systems and their expected software efficiently and regard myself as adaptable to new software within a short timeframe. I feel confident if challenged to start up Han Solo's temperamental Millennium Falcon under enemy attack I could do it with cool ease. I am a sociable person and maintain a wide circle of friends. Now there's a generic CV line. Want another? I am a team player. They should invent a CV drinking game. Yes, I actually sent this out to a lot of places. No, I did not hear any responses. Fun fact: I am now working at the company I first sent this CV to after sending in a more serious one a few weeks later. Edited November 2, 2010 by Guy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ReZourceman Posted November 2, 2010 Author Share Posted November 2, 2010 (Oh and it hasn't been spellchecked yet, I am aware of errors in that regardsz) *Snip* Yes, I actually sent this out to a lot of places. No, I did not hear any responses. Fun fact: I am now working at the company I first sent this CV to after sending in a more serious one a few weeks later. That is utterly brilliant. --------- Edited the C.V. slightly and did this covering note which sounds a bit desperate maybe? Ah well, whatever. Its done now. Applied. Michael Jamieson Aylesbury Hi ---- When reading the description for this job I became very excited that I had found something so ideal for what I want to do. I would absolutely work my hardest for this job and it is something that I would find very stimulating. I would appreciate the opportunity to be involved in this company so much. I really can't express that enough. The wedding industry is certainly a change of gears for me, but one that I find interesting and feel that my skill set would make me excel in. I know that I would be an asset for this company and though it would be a personal challenge for me... I am completely confident that I can do the work to a very high standard, and a standard that you expect! I have exceeded greatly in all my previous roles and I promise you, if you give me the chance at this I will give it all the passion and hard work inside me. Thanks for reading, and I would very much appreciate a response from you however this pans out. Michael Jamieson 077 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paj! Posted November 2, 2010 Share Posted November 2, 2010 'He's hax." - Paj Meen Ah, N-Europe Forums Feel free to add that if you want. I know my name holds a lot of weight these days. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cube Posted November 2, 2010 Share Posted November 2, 2010 As I've recently been on the other side of the process, here are some tips: - Layout is just as important as the content. Use some line breaks and stuff, but keep it simple, and only use grey. Definitely no green. - If you have a stupid-sounding email address, make a new one and set up forwarding. - Make sure all your Facebook settings are private. If you're applying for a couple of different types of jobs then I'd suggest creating slightly different CVs to highlight more relevant parts. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Murr Posted November 2, 2010 Share Posted November 2, 2010 I like the profile, but in mine i've shortened it down and added a key skills area further boasting my profile if you will.... Profile I am a highly talented, enthusiastic, motivated individual able to deliver an excellent standard of service and commitment. A flexible, pro-active and industrious person, able to exceed targets and meet deadlines as part of a team or self sufficiently. Key Skills • Able to successfully collaborate with work colleagues in the pursuit of performing in the best interests of the company. • A proven ability in face to face communications across departments, as well as demonstrating professionalism in dealing with the public. • Rewarded with a higher position within my current place of employment, having proved my abilities while working and showing initiative in my first job title. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ReZourceman Posted November 2, 2010 Author Share Posted November 2, 2010 Sweet cheers. Just updated FB from "The whole world and their mother" to "Friends" And yeah I did a new email this morning. "zerovortex" did indeed sound silly. :p Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shorty Posted November 2, 2010 Share Posted November 2, 2010 - Make sure all your Facebook settings are private. This goes quadruple for you ReZ. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jayseven Posted November 2, 2010 Share Posted November 2, 2010 - Cube accidentally pointed the first one out -- it's "highlight" not "hilight" (near end of first paragraph) and "businesses" not "business'" - You should be specific about teh GCSE/whatevs grades relevant to the job you're applying for, e.g. maths, english, IT, art, graphics (unless they're shite grades) - Don't dress up jobs that are irrelevant - If I wasn't getting a train shortly, I'd try and reword some bits for ya - I don't think there's actually anything particularly bad about the CV, dawg. Just be sure that everything they've asked for you have proved experience on somewhere. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ReZourceman Posted November 2, 2010 Author Share Posted November 2, 2010 Are you supposed to put a DOB on.....because .....fuuuuuuuck. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Will Posted November 2, 2010 Share Posted November 2, 2010 Just do the following: Make it look nice, a well presented cv will do much better than a crappy looking one. Everything written should be relevant to the job you're applying for, don't expand on anything that doesn't fit. Keep everything simple, I'd shorten your paragraphs on jobs and add more bullet points, people can't be bothered to read big bits of text when they have 200 cvs to go through, put the most important/relevant stuff first. "I am completely confident that I can do the work to a very high standard, and a standard that you expect! " Do you think they will expect you to work to a standard that is different to very high? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jayseven Posted November 2, 2010 Share Posted November 2, 2010 By law you do not have to put your DOB down anymore, but that's really to protect old farts and young upstarts. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nightwolf Posted November 2, 2010 Share Posted November 2, 2010 As I've recently been on the other side of the process, here are some tips: - Layout is just as important as the content. Use some line breaks and stuff, but keep it simple, and only use grey. Definitely no green. - If you have a stupid-sounding email address, make a new one and set up forwarding. - Make sure all your Facebook settings are private. If you're applying for a couple of different types of jobs then I'd suggest creating slightly different CVs to highlight more relevant parts. These points I was going to say. - Don't waffle on your job roles a quick brief bullet pointed roles will do, it saves them time and you. - At the top of your CV put things like: Age Driving license Martial status etc it starts the CV off well and makes it easier for them to quickly get detailed information about you. You don't have to go into great detail, I put my numbers, my age, if I drive, if I smoke (which nowadays people like to know.) etc. Then I started my profile, my education history, my employment history and then my hobbies as well as my personal work stuff like if I can use microsoft office etc. DOB is something that I would personally put, a lot of places do not ask for applications forms anymore and it's easier for them to find out, but it's really up to you! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ReZourceman Posted November 2, 2010 Author Share Posted November 2, 2010 Thanks folks, useful tips here. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Josh64 Posted November 2, 2010 Share Posted November 2, 2010 Put something about your hobbies and interests. Maybe instead of achievements. It shows you're a personality man. I'm probably wrong. A friend had to leap in and amend my CV extensively after I showed her my initial draft... which I think I may actually still have. Yep. Found it: Captain Guy Reginald John Hodge Address/contact information was here. I'm not posting it. PERSONAL PROFILE IN WHICH I PROBABLY LOSE THIS JOB! This is the part where you're supposed to "big yourself up", right? Well, here goes. I'm a polite, hardworki- everyone writes that trash here, don't they. Let's try something a little different. I am a terrible human being. A brutish rogue once nicknamed "Tearjerker" by his peers. A man capable of boiling a Pot Noodle full of cold water by just yelling angrily at it. Alright, so I suppose you can gather from that abysmal opening I've got a sense of humour and literally no sense of appropriateness. Doing well so far, Guy! I'm actually a widely creative, approachable, pleasant, dependable individual without any severely unfriendly features such as a snout or talons. Talons are not friendly. I have yet to discover any super-human abilities in myself but remain hopeful. I am also aware this is not the professional way to open a CV - but you, prospective employer, must be so weary of perusing the same old manufactured spiel in these things that hopefully this abomination of an introduction has perked your interest to continue reading. In all actuality I've been struggling to find work for some time now and having had no success with a serious, generic resume I've constructed this slightly more eccentric one. If I'm going to consistently fail at job applications I hope to at least to amuse the person rejecting me. If you are not amused and boring, please free to discard this document, but please remember to recycle. Actually I don't really care if you recycle. EMPLOYMENT HISTORY THAT WOWED SIR. ALAN SUGAR TWICE! Graphic Design/ICT/Whatever Nobody Else Wanted to Do June 2007 - February 2010 Having shown artistic flair throughout my life, I began to pursue work under questionable self employed status in the graphics design industry. I predominantly provided services to a commercial and residential advertising signboard company based in Kings Langley. My duties there included work using Photoshop/Serif, screen printing and eventually majorly in adhesive vinyl application. I also liaised with clients via phone and email. At this wretched place I would often be called upon to do the things nobody else wanted to. If a cup was drained of tea I would be summoned to refill it. If a horny rat needed someone to give it a blow job the responsibility to drink his lustful juice would also become mine. I endured this for a number of years before eventually realising the entire deal was lousy and quit in spectacular fashion, secretly crafting a makeshift catapult over a period of months and using it to fire myself out through the roof. Website Content Editing/Location Research/Wasting My Time at a Doomed Job August 2006 – December 2006 I spent a brief period working part-time for a company endeavouring to sell and rent properties to middle-class sunseekers looking to take up residence in Spain. My duties included researching property development information, creating pages in Dreamweaver adhering to an existing design specification and editing numerous graphics in Adobe Photoshop to be used on the site. This was to become a permanent employment position but unfortunately the company disbanded due to low market interest at the end of 2006. Damn! What next? I swore never to take on such an obvious dud job again. I also swore years later when I realised that's exactly what I ended up doing for the next few years. Customer Service Assistant/Slave Feb 2003 - June 2007 Ah, Somerfield. A company situated lowest on the hierarchy of our nation's supermarkets, placing even below the pathetic Happy Shopper franchise. My time here saw me carrying out such riveting duties such as stock replenishment in all departments and ensuring the security of the store at closing. I was also checkout trained and would man them at peak times, using my discount card for customers I liked and double scanning items on anyone I hated. Despite this corruption I was viewed as a dedicated and valued worker, regularly praised for my aptitude for customer service. During my time there I struck up a solid rapport with many people, most likely because I exhausted every avenue in my power to save them money whenever I could. BORING EDUCATION HISTORY LISTED UNDER THIS BORING HEADING! Bushey Meads School Secondary Education English Language - C AVCE ICT (Intermediate) - Merit INTERESTS OTHER THAN THROWING SQUIRRELS UP AT THE SUN! I am a keen artist, writer, professed geek and video game/film/television enthusiast with a particular fondness for material from my youth. I currently publish a dreadful online blog comic strip on a website I myself constructed making extensive use of Adobe Photoshop, Dreamweaver and utilising a content management system. I also produce gaming comics on a weekly basis to another site which remarkably account for a substantial percentage of the entire site's traffic influx. I like to use these comics as an outlet for my creativity, insanity and sense of humour. Like Wayne Campbell's dream to do Wayne's World for a living, I aspire to draw online comics well into a time period when arthritis renders me unable to continue - and yes, I did just reference a classic Mike Myers movie in a professional document. Most excellent! Unfortunately everyone needs money and my dream is not an instantly profitable one. I am able to operate both Windows and OSX operating systems and their expected software efficiently and regard myself as adaptable to new software within a short timeframe. I feel confident if challenged to start up Han Solo's temperamental Millennium Falcon under enemy attack I could do it with cool ease. I am a sociable person and maintain a wide circle of friends. Now there's a generic CV line. Want another? I am a team player. They should invent a CV drinking game. Yes, I actually sent this out to a lot of places. No, I did not hear any responses. Fun fact: I am now working at the company I first sent this CV to after sending in a more serious one a few weeks later. That is the most incredible CV I have ever read Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EEVILMURRAY Posted November 2, 2010 Share Posted November 2, 2010 Maybe bullet point your profile as you have done with other aspects of your CV. The phrase "handling large amounts of information" is something I'd expect to see on the box of an external hard drive. You should just say "I have a good memory/Playing Dr. Kawashima's Brain Training really paid off". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Raining_again Posted November 2, 2010 Share Posted November 2, 2010 Maybe bullet point your profile as you have done with other aspects of your CV. The phrase "handling large amounts of information" is something I'd expect to see on the box of an external hard drive. You should just say "I have a good memory/Playing Dr. Kawashima's Brain Training really paid off". handling a large amount of data/information, and having a good memory, are entirely different things... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts