Loneliness

[Aimless]

A bad night's sleep makes everything clearer. I am lonely; always have been, always will be. It's my fault, and if I stay true to myself then I'm all I'll ever have.

 

I'm selfish, when it comes down to it. I want everything or nothing, no compromise. Those people that fall between... it isn't that I don't care about them, but I always feel like an outsider. A placeholder. Someone to 'have around'.

 

I get on with people easily enough, but when it comes to 'friends' my standards loom above reality. Modern life seems all about communication — Friend Codes, Friend Lists, Invite a Friend — but as technology makes everything easier things get harder for me. I can't seem to approach people I don't know that well under the guise of a friend, as to me that word holds so much weight; I don't want to foist the responsibility of my friendship upon anyone. So I make myself hold back and hope to get noticed. But that isn't how things work.

 

I pretend not to need anyone but hope someone might need me. If I was someone special that might even work, but I'm not. I'm like every other flower in the garden, swaying, unremarkable, waiting to be picked. I can only pray it happens before I wilt.

 

I'll try to work on a more cheery topic next time; I don't think this one has done anyone any favours. Sorry.

 

Again, eyes left: watch the avatar and it will all work out.

[Olympic Gamer]

You know what? Some of you people are seriously insecure. I mean, really bad. If you can't trust someone and let yourself be vunerable whilst being with them, god help you having a meaningful relationship.

 

This man speaks the truth. I can admit I'm a little insecure, but I'm probably not as bad as some others in the thread.

 

Like said, its like the hedgehog thing in Neon Genesis Evangelion, if you wanna get close your gonna experience pain, and its a natural thing in life unfortunately. How can you say your happy in the future when you have no recent pain to base it on?

[DiemetriX]

I like being by myself, but I seldom am. And when I'm with certain people, I feel lonely. Even when sleeping with someone I really care about I sometimes feel lonely. Probably because there's a lack of love from my side.

 

But when I feel lonely, I don't feel sad. It's more of a hint telling me I lack something (that special someone).

 

I have more friends than I can handle, and TBH I would rather be alone most times. Cause when I'm all alone, thats when I'm most at peace. And I don't feel lonely at all.

[RoadKill]

child poverty

 

Well, it made me chuckle

[Dan_Dare]

me too. I'm a bad person.

[Roostophe]

Loneliness: I love it and hate it at the same time.

 

Sometimes I do want to be on my own, just in my own little space doing nothing except what I want to do and think what I want. Other times, I wish that I didn't spend so much time on my own. I wish that I was more sociable, had a job and spoke to people. But above all, I wish that I had a girlfriend to have and to hold. *sigh*

 

Aimless, you've brought my mood down. You cunt! :wink: : peace:

[Dante]

I get lonely sometimes.

I could say more but I dont really want to.

[Guest Stefkov]

edit.

 

A couple of you seem to be saying you're hoping to meet people more into games than drinking at Uni. I was the same but I was the one that changed, I drank and socialised more, gaming wasn't as important unless it was social gaming. This started to shift back round over the past year, but gaming no longer takes over from chilling with mates.

It's not so much I want to meet people that will game all the time. I'm happy to go out to the pub and have a good time, like at this meet. That's the first time I've ever really gone and sat down in a pub and had a drink like that. (Whilst watching/listening to FLAVA....ugh) The friends I have now are the ones who go to the clubs every weekend and get abusively drunk, so much to the point that one day two of them came in with sunglasses on. They looked like dicks. I just do not see the point in that at all and how it can be fun in the slightest.

[Dante]

It's not so much I want to meet people that will game all the time. I'm happy to go out to the pub and have a good time, like at this meet. That's the first time I've ever really gone and sat down in a pub and had a drink like that. (Whilst watching/listening to FLAVA....ugh) The friends I have now are the ones who go to the clubs every weekend and get abusively drunk, so much to the point that one day two of them came in with sunglasses on. They looked like dicks. I just do not see the point in that at all and how it can be fun in the slightest.

 

Its seem to be part of the norm to get drunk, get head blow off with rubbish music in your ears and dance around like a pat.

[Guest bluey]

I get lonely sometimes.

I could say more but I dont really want to.

same here ~

i think everyone gets a little lonely from time to time

 

i have no sympathy for myself tho... its my own fault for moving to a different time zone to all my friends, plus i prefer my own company and dont see the point in joining other teachers here in these stupid piss-up parties that i HATE going to in the hopes of making new friends...

 

being lonely is just a part of this career path at the moment

i can deal with it.

 

28 days...

[Slaggis]

Its seem to be part of the norm to get drunk, get head blow off with rubbish music in your ears and dance around like a pat.

 

Not that I'd do it on a regular basis if I had lectures etc the next day..but isn't that partly what Uni is about? Going to clubs, drinking and dancing around knowing you look like a prat but not giving a damn...then getting to meet new people in the process.

 

I'm not condoning people that get so drunk that they don't remember the night before and end up waking up somewhere ramdom or anything btw. I think getting that drunk all the time is a stupid thing to do.

 

--

 

Anyway, lonely? Hmm, I don't think I really feel like that anymore. I used to, when I was younger and was bullied a fair bit. But I got sick of the feeling, made an effort to make some really good friends and did so. So it;s all good now.

[Coolness Bears]

Lonliness had never reallly effected me until earlier thisyearwhen I was going to school and realised no one would really care if I was there or not.

 

I have one friend who I basically follow the whole time and I only ever talk to other people when he is around other wise it's just blank expressions and loooong awkward silences.

 

It's because no one shares the same interests with me really and so the idea of playing a game for hours to them is alien. I'm not one for big social gatherings or going out drinking so my chances of getting to know them are slim.

 

At Uni I'll go out more I reckon and try to get myself involved more as at the moment I am the outsider looking in. I just need more self confidence!

 

I didn't enjoy this feeling at all and so decided to shake it off as I knew I wasn't going to get anything done, moping around feeling sorry for myself. So i decided to take a positive approach to my new found lonliness and opted to relish in it.

 

This was a great idea I actually love being on my own. I did before but something just got to me then and now I'm back to my normal self who loves being by himself and I never get bored when on I'm on my own either.

 

Nothing has changed at school I still have only the one friend but this doesn't bother me in the slightest. I'll probably lose contact with most of them anyway. (doesn't have contact with them in the first place! :p)

 

I have another friend who I see often who shares the same interests as me as well so it's all good.

 

You all know more about me (if you read my posts ) Than most people who have met me do! : peace:

 

I have more friends on the Internet who I talk to regularly so I know I'm not completely alone.

 

If I want a chat someone is always there for me.

 

So I don't really feel lonely or if someone is missing in my life.

 

HAPPY COOLNESS!!! ^________^

[Jimbob]

Sometimes i feel lonely, but then i look at what i actually have got and that feeling goes away. I got awesome friends and family. And if none of them are available in the flesh, msn does the trick.

 

The only feeling of loneliness i have really is the fact that i am single at the moment, but other than that everything is ok.

[Jav_NE]

I sometimes feel lonely, if it wasnt for my girlfriend i would be very lonely, although id probably make more effort to make friends at work if that was the case. Its hard when you move to a new city and you dont know anyone. As i said, i have my girlfriend, but when you dont know the area, you dont know anybody else and you dont have your school mates, its really tough. Making friends is so much easier at school and uni than it is in an office.

[Rummy]

Man, of course I'm lonely. Nobody knows me, but then why the heck should I let people in that deep? it's not fair on them. I don't know. Everything's a coping method. I've got a few 'spark' friends but I don't see them all the time, or they're miles away or whatever.

 

Blah blah. bad head. Think clearer.

 

Would it be bad to say that often it feels like I exist to amuse/entertain others, and that's all they see me as? I guess it would be worse to atempt to self-analyse and label my own inner workings as anything resembling narcissism.

 

i think loneliness is basically the inability to amuse oneself... Perhaps derived from being unhappy with yourself, maybe including the projection of blame onto everyone else? Hum.

 

This post hit me first. Are you the kind of guy who has people and lots of friends around to go out with? The funny guy, the joker? Everyone loves and talks about you? Everybody knows jayseven? I realise I'm probably making some massive leaps of judgement here, apologies if they're off the mark, just your post is the one I related most to, and that is my sort of sitation.

 

Maybe I'm totally wrong, but that's how my life seems to have gone and yet me personally? I do feel lonely sometimes, incredibly lonely. The thing is, I look at my life and I wonder why. Not to blow my own trumpet but I DO have plenty of friends, I have people there for going out with most of the time, I only have literally one or two who I can confide in because I'm not the most trusting of people(and have a negatively harsh and bitter worldview of people). Hell, I can go out 5 nights a week and still feel lonely the next days. I wonder sometimes, maybe it's the only reason I surrounded myself with so many people, to try and make the loneliness seem better. I kind of see myself as Jay mentioned though, the guy everyone sees as a laugh, the clown who amuses and entertains, the funny guy who has no serious side to him, or no person underneath? I'm exaggerrating a little bit to get the point over, it's not as extreme or simple cut as that, I don't think. I wonder sometimes if I'm much more than a running joke to most people though. Saying it out loud though(well, typing it out here) makes me feel bad and egotistical, like I'm bigging myself up, I'm not. I really hate it sometimes.

 

Sometimes i feel lonely, but then i look at what i actually have got and that feeling goes away. I got awesome friends and family. And if none of them are available in the flesh, msn does the trick.

 

The only feeling of loneliness i have really is the fact that i am single at the moment, but other than that everything is ok.

 

But then there's this. If I look at my situation and compare it to other people's situations(though I'm also single atm), I think myself lucky, I realise what I've had and what I've got and think I'm not lonely. I think everyone will always feel lonely, it's an inherent part of the selfish human nature that is constantly wanting more and is never satisfyed. To stop feeling lonely, you need to step back and look at what you DO have rather than what you've not, and see how lucky you are that you've got those things, and be happy with them.

 

 

EDIT: In line with Aimless's other thread, maybe it's a 'nice' person thing? Maybe nice guys actually do always finish last. Or maybe it's the case that being last makes you a nice guy, I dunno, that's a long wall of text for me to type up another time.

[jayseven]

I do agree with you a lot there - surrounded by lots of people doesn't mean loneliness isn't an option; frequency is important. Scattering about between groups of friends is just going to have you pulling and swaying between those different aspects of YOU -- those fragments that shine out strongest depending on who you're with.

 

But yeah, what is is that makes people look at someone and go "hmm, they seem interesting, I want to know more about them.." I mean, I find I am asking other people about their lives waaay more than anyone is caring to know about mine.

 

being able to recognise the positives is the thing, as you say. It's just all too easy to start equating your current status with some sort of magical formula that just says "your life is getting worse." Personally I feel less worried when i fully embrace the mystery of the future - when i remember teh chance friendships i've made, the spontanious moments of my past that I could never have predicted.

 

Loneliness disappears when you know you have something to look forward to. Works best when you have something to do in the next couple of days combined with something to anticipate in the long run. Doesn't work so great when all you see ahead of you is a list of Things You Have To Do; dentists, doctors, exams, moving house, whatever.

 

But alcohol helps you forget! yay!

[Guest Captain Falcon]

But alcohol helps you forget! yay!

 

Surely the moment you sober up and realise you're drinking to forget, it hits a whole lot worse.

 

I personally can't remember the last time I didn't feel a hint of loneliness.

 

I play football a bit but they are just the footballing guys, I see them on a semi regular basis but there's not even a hint of any emotional connection on either end.

 

I don't really hang around with my friends that much either. Some of them I haven't seen for a month even though they only live like 5 minutes walk. It makes it worse that most of them have girlfriends and are usually doing couple stuff. An then when I'm with them, I don't know how to behave naturally - I have difficulty relaxing when with company.

 

Even though I view them as my closest friends, our friendship is born out of growing up at the same school, not necessarily the interests that we currently have. At college and Uni, I met people but I never made any attempt to befriend many of them, I guess for fear of rejection. Plus, I ain't the life and soul of a party either. I hardly drink alcohol and didn't touch the stuff for my first five years past legal age. I also have a somewhat dry and selected sense of humour compared to my friends which doesn't come across well with new people and sometimes speak my mind at inopportune moments.

 

Even at work, you see those same people everyday and you call yourselves "mates" but I don't believe that if we didn't work together that we'd actually speak if we met somewhere else (and I don't necessarily speak to them at work).

 

And I totally get where Coolness is coming from about not being missed if you weren't there, only several years on it doesn't get any easier.

 

I sometimes wonder who would actually turn up at my funeral if I died tomorrow and what kind of things would be said. I suspect the the only thing to shatter the silence would be the rustling of the tumbleweed.

 

 

I'm not normally this open with people but I'm glad the anonymity afforded by the internet has given me this chance.

[Chris the great]

 

I sometimes wonder who would actually turn up at my funeral if I died tomorrow and what kind of things would be said. I suspect the the only thing to shatter the silence would be the rustling of the tumbleweed.

 

 

I'm not normally this open with people but I'm glad the anonymity afforded by the internet has given me this chance.

 

 

 

i think your being hard on your self. i recon we all have more people who like us then we think. plus, remember, after death, people tend to forget your faults.

 

personaly, if i were to die, id want all my friends talking about the stupid things id done, the times id gotten really drunk and been stupid, the jokes i kept making, the way i stayed up till dawn and slept till noon when ever i got the chance. bassicly, i want people to remember how many laughs i gave them, and not the times i was sad, or difficult with people.

 

as for emotional support from mates, id say my home mates and uni mates where slightly different. at uni, every one was emotionaly open, annoyingly so at time. i swear, the number of time i had to deal with people crying was stupid. that said, it was a fairly open group, problems didnt bubble under for long in most cases. we could always be honest, and if people where down, we generaly talked about it. at home my friends are different (maybe cos its mostly guys) we dont get to deep. the only time people confess feelings is when we go on about how depressing it is trying to find a decent job. i think we support each outher differently, rather then have some one lend us a hand, we draw stregth from them, in thier unchanged personality and the laugh we always have. its like you leave emotional baggage at the door, sure its there again when you leave, but lighter now youve had a chance to rest.

 

personaly, i tend not to open up to outhers. i mean, if i have a problem thats personal, i dont draw outhers in. if im having trouble they can help in, then i'll open up, but i find sharing my woes with outhers just brings them down, or makes me seem weak some how. my problems are my own, why burden outhers with every single thought or feeling?

[Guest bluey]

come to think of it...forget everything that i said last time..

my job is to meet new people every day... so if i'm really lonely..

i'm just doing a bad job!

 

also ~ singing this around my house makes me giggle 'cause anyone who didnt know better would think i was being awfully Lacist.. ^__^

[Jamba]

I don't get lonely, I get bored!

 

Boring people make me bored, no people makes me bored. Then I get sad or angry because I'm bored. I've just moved to the country in a place where I know no one and there's no one around here who is bothered about what I do. Still, I do ok. I'm not that bad. I just keep busy and chat to my friends online and maybe see someone I know every 2 weeks or so and I'm good!

[MoogleViper]

[Haver]

Most people are lonely these days, it's modern life.

 

EDIT: And probably pre-modern life as well.

 

Try rolling Horde?

[arab_freak]

(Sorry if this is depressing; you can blame The Cinematic Orchestra — and the late hour, no doubt — for getting me thinking about it.)

 

I often feel isolated because my ways of thinking, talking, and overall behavior have been so westernized that I feel like I'm an outcast. I'm the only one in my family who speaks English fluently. So fluently, in fact, that I prefer to speak it over my native language: Arabic. I don't really like Arabic movies or TV shows. I don't listen to Arabic music. I don't like most Arabic food. My taste in almost everything differs so much that it's hard to find people around me that share the same interests. The only place where I can feel at home is the internet (albeit this forum obviously isn't one of them). Sure, I do have a few friends who are "suffering" from this problem, but I often "reject" the idea of becoming close friends with them because of their flaws.

 

It reminds me of this Gnarls Barkley song:

 

It's cool being the only one

But it's lonely

I could've fallen in love a thousand times before

If only someone had known me