Magnus

Ugh... Too many birthdays. Happy birthday to everyone ever.

Warp to Spiral Valley and go to the north-east corner of the map. I think it's right by the cliff edge, beneath the path that leads to the secret area above the waterfall. It's just kind of tucked away there. To get unique monsters to respawn, you can just save and reload until they appear (saving and reloading is also a great way to get regular monsters to reappear).

Nothing quite like having sex when you're ready to throw up at any moment.

Probably a fear of rejection. That, or you weren't drunk enough.

^ I like this guy. Well, I mean, I like Josh too, but he's wrong. Oh, so wrong.

Yes, the ultimate showdown between one of gaming's most recognizable villains and... that thing. :p

I don't mind the animal companions, but most of the Kongs are pretty terrible. Candy Kong, Funky Kong, Kiddy Kong, Swanky Kong... Just because Rare created most of the Donkey Kong universe doesn't make it good. I especially hate King K. Rool, who looks like... Well, you know how when you were a kid you used to draw your own video games in sketchbooks and for the most part, you just ripped off whatever video games you were into at the time? That's what K. Rool looks like. Like if a ten-year-old kid tried to rip off Bowser.

To be fair, the vast majority of the characters Rare created for the Donkey Kong Country series were pretty awful. And oh man, I would have been all over a Jungle Beat sequel. I still haven't played Donkey Kong Country Returns, for obvious reasons. Is it wrong that I get more interested in the game whenever a longtime fan of the franchise says they don't like it? :p

So it's like every other Donkey Kong Country game, then. Trolling aside, I'm really not a fan of the series.

My condolences.

Invite him over to play Xenoblade with you. That'll give you over a hundred hours to work your moves on him.

Here's a story I hope you'll like It's the one about Ashley riding on his bike I know, it's a tired old tale, but it still rings true He could never be rude or unkind But a sad song played at the back of his mind Ooooh, could someone show him a different bike A bike that he'd like? And so forth.

It weirds me out that you're moving up in the world, Goafer. Pretty soon you'll stop spending your time in abandoned buildings and start driving a real car!

For me, the most shocking moment this season was when I watched episode six on my old (and very, very dark) CRT monitor and was convinced they'd killed off my favorite character because I could only barely see what was going on. The last few episodes have been pretty awesome, though. Walt kills Jesse with Rosebud. There, now you don't have to watch it.

I promised Jay I'd check out this game at the beginning of the year, and I finally played it a few days ago. It was... well, it was an interesting experience. Like if Twin Peaks and Silent Hill had a baby. It was the Twin Peaks DNA that I loved. I actually wasn't overly fond of the TV show, but I did like how weird all of the characters were and the general atmosphere, and Deadly Premonition isn't shy about stealing from it (in the , there were even dwarfs in a velvet room). So it's just a lot of fun to go through the story and see how murder mystery plays out (it does get a bit too weird for my taste near the end, but it's no weirder than Twin Peaks in its second season, so I can kind of live with it). Francis York Morgan is a great protagonist and almost every character in the game has a quirk of some sort. There are fifty sidequests in the game and though you often get great items from finishing them (the radio is a godsend), many of them are fun to do just to get to know the characters better. Of course, actually doing the sidequests can be a huge pain. The game is very nice about telling you in which chapters a sidequest can be played and which person will give it to you, but it fails to tell you about anything else. For example, the love interest has three sidequests that can only be undertaken at a certain time when it's raining. You can follow her around for days when it's not raining and you're never going to find her sidequests. It's even more annoying because she wants you to get specific items, but everything shuts down when it's raining, so you have no way of procuring said items if you do manage to stumble upon her sidequests while it's raining. Of course, you can wait until the next day and buy the items then, but then you have to wait for nightfall and rain again, and her quests are only available for a limited time. You can actually fast-forward time, but it's really annoying. Sleeping is the easiest way, but you need to find a bed to sleep and before you get the radio, driving back and forth between a bed and a place where you think there may be a sidequest can be really annoying. You can also smoke cigarettes, but it's slow and York will stop whenever he gets hungry or sleepy. Because yes, the game requires you to eat and sleep regularly (it also wants you to wash your suits when they get dirty and shave regularly, but there's no penalty for not doing so). It's actually not too annoying during the main story, but it makes doing sidequests more difficult than it needs to be. (To the game's credit, you can actually replay chapters at any time, but really all it does is give you a chance to do sidequests you've missed - all of the problems with doing sidequests are still there. You also need to finish the chapter for your progress to be saved, and there's a game-breaking bug if you choose to replay a chapter at the wrong time.) The Silent Hill parts are pretty dull, mostly because there are only three enemies - melee zombies, zombies with guns and those annoying women who climb around on walls. There are also no real puzzles, so it's mostly just a case of walking through room after room and gunning down everything in your way. Fortunately it's not a very hard game, since the game gives you weapons with unlimited ammunition when you finish certain sidequests. It's very obviously a low-budget game, with terrible graphics, poor gunplay and weird quirks, like the cars that handle like God-knows-what. The standard cars are almost incapable of turning. But in the end, I still really enjoyed the time I spent in the game because of the atmosphere and the quirky characters. I always made sure I ate lunch every day just to see what would happen, and I drove the Log Lady Sigourney all over town just to see what her pot would have to say. Little things like that were what made it a great experience.

Happy birthday, Sam (and your big penis?). It must suck to have your birthday get overshadowed by Google's birthday every year.

Have an electronic hug, maybe?

You're going about this the wrong way. What you should do is seduce him and make him fall for you. And then you cut off all contact with him.

Haha, awesome.

I've watched them! *Has nothing to add*

*Stands up* I'm a Tetris hater too.

The Simpsons Hit and Run. I agree that it was terrible. I never understood why they never made a Simpsons adventure game. Something like that would have been able to keep the look of the show as well as the humor.

Yep. Better start level grinding. The quests for those two characters require you to do other quests first, which may be why you haven't found them yet. You're not going to be able to find the quest for the final party member right now. Yes, hearts are max.