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Job woes/wins


MoogleViper

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Got an interview for legal team secretary next week, which is rather pleasing. Resisting from broadcasting it on Facebook/informing family peeps lest I balls it up.

 

Got the call today that I didn't make it. Apparently I was too brief in some of my answers in the formal interview, I thought I was being concise, but I'm still getting used to these things which have popped up for me.

 

However, she said that she found me likeable, she's going to recommend an agency give me a call when she sees them next week. So fingers crossed for that.

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Got the call today that I didn't make it. Apparently I was too brief in some of my answers in the formal interview, I thought I was being concise, but I'm still getting used to these things which have popped up for me.

 

However, she said that she found me likeable, she's going to recommend an agency give me a call when she sees them next week. So fingers crossed for that.

 

At least you got some really positive feedback from it and you've got something to work on for next time.

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At least you got some really positive feedback from it and you've got something to work on for next time.

 

Definitely, gonna brush up on my formal interview & bullshitting skills.

 

 

Just had one of really suspicious interview schemes happen. Was at the gym yesterday and I get a call enquiring about the "Trainee [something, might've been marketing] Manager" position I applied for. I've applied for no management positions because I know I'm not qualified/can be arsed with the hassle, but decided to go along with it, maybe it could lead somewhere.

 

Fast forward to today (another alarm) and I go to an office building where everything is new/minimal/standard. I've been to an interview like this before. When the secretary has a radio/random music playing you know shit aint serious. There were about 7 of us at the waiting room at one time (with seating for 6) and the secretary lady was fit and giving proper random banter which was fun.

 

Interview - 40 minutes late. With not the person I was told I would be seeing (Managing Director, but once again not expecting it) in some office which was so staged. Protein powders on windowsill indicating gains. Five books on business with one about "success" turned around to face me, a graduation photo which looks like it came from a PC printer. A few small questions "Tell me about yourself?" bullshit, explaining the role was helping the company expand by expanding clients and other non-actual-explaining words. When he mentioned how they work for "Major companies, charities" and I then asked if they've worked for any I'd heard of, he seemed a bit angry by it. He had a nice tie pin though.

 

My favourite:

"This role is about management and [other buzzwords], what made you apply for the position?"

"I didn't. You rang me when I was at the gym."

I think at that point they realised I wasn't taking it seriously. Not expecting a call tonight but if I did I would've be surprised. It's got pyramid scheme shizzle written all over it.

 

Have a look, full of lovely buzzwords and everything: http://www.goldstreamincorporated.co.uk/

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Oh wow that stuff takes me back.

 

My ex-girlfriend worked for one of those companies, stay as far away from it as you possibly can. Basically think the following:

 

Direct Marketing = Door to door charity collecting

Building a business = Pyramid

 

The whole thing is a HUGE pyramid scheme with the guys at the top making insane amounts of money off the back of 1000`s of people going door to door collecting for charity. There is so much wrong about it I don`t know where to start, but basically:

 

Pushing people to sign up to monthly pledges they can`t afford

Taking 90% of the money for the collecting company rather than the charity

No pay other than commission

10 hour days in strange places

Selling an impossible dream to naive young jobseekers

 

Just thinking about it now makes me angry. It`s the main reason I absolutely refuse to give money to charity, I no longer have any faith the money would be going where I want it to be.

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Oh wow that stuff takes me back.

 

My ex-girlfriend worked for one of those companies' date=' stay as far away from it as you possibly can. Basically think the following:

 

Direct Marketing = Door to door charity collecting

Building a business = Pyramid

 

The whole thing is a HUGE pyramid scheme with the guys at the top making insane amounts of money off the back of 1000`s of people going door to door collecting for charity. There is so much wrong about it I don`t know where to start, but basically:

 

Pushing people to sign up to monthly pledges they can`t afford

Taking 90% of the money for the collecting company rather than the charity

No pay other than commission

10 hour days in strange places

Selling an impossible dream to naive young jobseekers

 

Just thinking about it now makes me angry. It`s the main reason I absolutely refuse to give money to charity, I no longer have any faith the money would be going where I want it to be.[/quote']

 

Ex girlfriend was roped into one of these, but she was 100% convinced that she was going to be a MILLIONAIRE.

 

One month she made 12 quid.

 

*cough*

 

 

EDIT:

 

Just seen that this is in Nottingham as well. Which is exactly where she was fooled into thinking she could become one of the 1%.

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2 weeks left on the contract. My manager and project really want to keep me but it's out of their hands. Apparently we'll hear if it's been renewed in the next 2 days. Not entirely sure what that means, do they have a meeting on Wednesday? Will they toss a coin tomorrow night at the pub?

 

Anyway, I'd quite like to stay on here as it's been good for me but a new challenge would also be nice. I also have a bitch of a corporation tax bill to pay end of May so I do need a job at some point in the next couple of months...

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So you may remember that since October I've been working for a digital media company who run websites/live blogs for major sporting federations.

 

From next week, I'll be doing social media stuff for them too. One of the accounts I'll be working on has almost 15 million likes on Facebook.

 

Scary/exciting stuff.

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So you may remember that since October I've been working for a digital media company who run websites/live blogs for major sporting federations.

 

From next week, I'll be doing social media stuff for them too. One of the accounts I'll be working on has almost 15 million likes on Facebook.

 

Scary/exciting stuff.

 

And you'll apply that knowledge to N-Europe as well, riiiight? ;)

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From next week, I'll be doing social media stuff for them too. One of the accounts I'll be working on has almost 15 million likes on Facebook.

 

Post about kNEe, get us some mo members.

 

"After Saturday's match he's suffered from a knee injury. Speaking of knee..."

 

How many likes do we have?

 

I think it's just me and @jayseven.

Edited by MoogleViper
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  • 2 weeks later...

So I'm back from Texas now and the training was awesome. Really good time, with really good people (both instructors and co-learners). Genuinely didn't want to come back. I tried to keep daily Facebook updates to keep a diary of what happened day by day:

 

Texas Day 1: weather is awesome and we got picked up in the biggest non-bus vehicle I've ever seen. Chrome rims too, because they knew I'm a total baller. Word.

 

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The flight was 10 hours, but luckily the in flight entertainment was great (thanks BA), so I got to watch Spectre, The Martian and Rogue Nation. When we landed, we were picked up by a driver sent from the training company. He didn't stand in arrivals with our name on a piece of cardboard though, so I was a bit disappointed. Total baller vehicle though, so still awesome. Went back to the hotel, which was surprisingly nice.

 

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Also picked up some American sweets I hadn't had since I last visited as a kid. Good times.

 

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For the full two weeks I was there, I legitimately had Africa stuck in my head ever time I peed.

 

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Texas day 2: no one uses a knife whilst eating, even if it means awkwardly shuffling the food round the plate with just a fork.

 

It's like every meal is a gateaux. Bloody savages.

 

This was the first day of training, so everyone was a little quiet and nervous. They told us that it would be the last day that we would all be so quiet, and to be fair they were right. We had our first taste of sign making, which was kind of nice, even if American design tends to verge on the downright awful.

 

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Texas day 3: There are no buildings higher than 2 stories and the car parks are bigger than some villages. Very spaced out and low place. It is weird, but it does make everything really bright and shadeless.

 

The weather was glorious, which made the flatness of everything extra weird. It was a good dry heat too, so it was really nice to be out in. Shame the training facility had no windows.

 

That night, we ate out in a restaurant called Texas de Brazil, which was basically a bunch of waiters walking around with various meats on skewers, which would come to your table if you had your coaster thing green side up. We managed to keep our coaster green for about 3 minutes before becoming completely swamped with meat. I would take a bit of one meat, only to have a waiter stood next to me ready to cut off a slice of the next. It was insane.

 

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Texas day 4: (late update) When your sophisticated British stomach is ravaged by crude American food, Gatorade is an absolute godsend.

 

Well, the meat was possibly too good to be true and I got to see it all again the next day. Pretty much spent all day puking, even after I had nothing left to actually throw up. Spent the evening in bed, so not much happened of interest. A co-learner suggested Gatorade, which was heavenly and the only thing I could actually keep down.

 

 

Texas day 5: DANGER ZONE and a shop named Condom Sense, which sounds to me like a shit super power.

 

Almost didn't go in, as I slept well until about 3am, when I woke up with some awful aches and pains and commenced another bout of throwing up (again, despite having nothing to actually give). Luckily, I got better after a bit of a walk, so I went in with true British stiff upper-lippedness.

 

Danger Zone came on the radio whilst we were practicing sign making, which was awesome. The instructors also shared my love of Top Gun, so they naturally cranked it.

 

That evening we went out. We walked past a shop called Condom Sense and ended up in Hooters. A thoroughly horrid place. If the unappealing uniforms weren't enough to make me sick again, the age of the waitresses was. We asked one of them where a good place to drink was and her response was that she didn't know, as she wasn't old enough to drink. She was young enough to still need braces, which made the 50 odd year old men leering at her seem even creepier. Ugh.

 

 

Texas day 6: Discovered that our co-learner Burt has a brother named Ernie. Pretty much the best day of my life.

 

Another day spent learning and I got to know our co-learner Burt a bit better. Pretty much the funniest guy I've ever met.

 

 

Texas day 7: saw my first set of truck nuts, played a game of "Spot the open carry", stepped in cow shit, saw a police convoy that must have been at least several miles long and saw a biker laying in the road who may or may not have been dead.

Oh and cowboy boots. Lots of sets of cowboy boots. Some more expensive than my car.

 

Our first weekend in Texas, so we did a bit of sightseeing. I had a few conversations about cars with the instructors during the week, so they invited me to a car show that was happening Saturday morning. It was a free meetup and it was larger than most paid events in the UK. It was nuts. One of the instructors' friends worked at a Lamborghini dealership, so he brought along the only convertible Avantador in the US. There was pretty much every type of car there, from million dollar Ferrari GTOs to Beetles to classic British Jags and Landrovers.

 

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After I got back to the hotel, we went to the Stockyards, which was an old fashioned place where they still herded cattle through the streets. It was a bit more touristy than I imagined, but it was still good fun.

 

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Texas has a law allowing people to openly carry guns. We tried to spot people openly carrying, but no one seemed to bother doing it. Most shops refused entry to people openly carrying, so I guess most people don't actually bother.

 

In the evening, we went to Twin Peaks to watch the UFC fights. Twin Peaks is basically a nice version of Hooters, or at least as nice as that sort of place can be. The place was packed wall to wall with rowdy sports fans, which was a new experience. It was pretty good overall really and we made some new, drunken American friends.

 

 

Dallas Day 8: The grassy knoll, huge signs, American drivers are shit and laundry day.

 

Decided to have a more historical day and went to the place where JFK was shot. We were staying in a smallish town, so it was nice to see an actual city for a change. The place itself was a bit weird, as there wasn't much actually there apart from the museum in the book depository and someone selling conspiracy books on the actual grassy knoll. It was cool to see the place though, especially since it was so recognisable. They even had an X on the road to show where he was shot.

 

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Also tried a Slurpee. It was fucking horrid.

 

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It was also our co-learner Eric's birthday, so we bought him a cake and invited everyone round to our room for pizza.

 

 

Texas day 9: Head mapping, Condom Sense and lots of rain.

 

Today was the day that the weather changed to storms, and true to the stereotype, everything is bigger in Texas.

 

We were shown a piece of software/hardware that used an iPhone/iPad camera to measure sections of walls to estimate costing of signage and naturally someone decided to estimate the cost of wrapping my head with vinyl.

 

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In the evening we went out again and I managed to get a photo of Condom Sense.

 

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Texas day 10: Storms and Japanese food.

 

Another day spent learning amongst the storms and we all went to a Japanese restaurant after work/school. Nice bonding session, despite the food being a bit average.

 

 

Texas day 11: Explaining what dogging is to the Americans, Burt has the best "nuh-uh girlfriend" voice ever and a hell of a storm overnight.

 

We went out in the evening and spent most of our time explaining to the Americans what dogging and cottaging is. No idea how we got onto the subject, but it became a recurring theme for the rest of the trip.

 

 

Texas day 12: I just want the waiter we just had to read me a bedtime story. His voice was like caramelised cashmere filtered through a harp.

 

Yet more learning and we spent the evening in an Australian restaurant with all the learners. Really good food, especially the Bloomin' Onion.

 

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The waiter also had the smoothest voice I have ever heard. When he asked if we had any questions about the menu, I really wanted to ask him just to read the whole thing to me. Beautiful.

 

We ended up in a British pub, which was surprisingly authentic. Stayed out far longer than we should have, but I suppose it made me nice and tired for our night flight the next evening.

 

 

Texas day 13: Final day. Had an awesome time and met some utterly amazing people. Literally been like the setup for a sitcom. Some Brits, a Mormon, a Hawaiian, a Jahovas Witness and some Christians walk into a bar...

 

The final day in Texas. We had to leave at 2pm to get to the airport for our flight. It was genuinely a shame to have to leave, as everyone was amazing. The flight was delayed by 2 hours, whilst they made some repairs to the wing. Nice and reassuring, but we made it home without incident. We left at 5pm Friday (Texas time) and landed 10am Saturday (UK time). Managed to get some sleep on the plane, but ultimately slept all day when I got home.

 

 

 

So overall, a hell of an experience and a shame to leave. I may even go back on vacation at some point. Best part is, the whole trip cost me absolutely nothing. Don't think I used my own bank card once whilst I was there, as they gave us plenty of money for food and the hotels/flights were all paid for. Good times.

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