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Compulsive liars and their tales


Dog-amoto

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There's a guy on my course at work, he's a nice enough chap and all but he's the most blatant liar I've ever met, some of the stories he comes up with are so laughably far fetched and no matter what you've done, he'll always have a story to match and exceed it. He's almost become a source of amusement to the rest of us. But it's really starting to piss people off, especially when it becomes a disruption to the class when he goes off on these crazy tangents.

 

For example, today I mentioned that I once taught a gay gypsy lad to drive and he said that being gay would cause major problems in the travelling community. Which I've no doubt that it would, but then his story turned into the time when he was working security for a youth hostel he had someone living there who was having an affair with a gypsy woman's son and her and two guys literally ripped a magnetised door off its hinges to get in and he had to tell them that he couldn't disclose who was living there so he got threatened with a shotgun. He managed to get out of it though by convincing them it was bullet proof glass and he calmly called the police. He then went on to say that this lad had, and I'm using his language here, "horrendous cock breath because he didn't brush his teeth between sucking off men for money" and he had a thing for him, once going as far as to walk in front of him naked.

 

He also said that he once took his hostel youths to a five star restaurant at the top of the Eiffel Tower, they wouldn't let them in so he kicked off so much that they managed to get the best table in the house. Hostel youths? Five star restaurant? What the...? Other stories have been providing crossbow training for his kids "cos the country is going to shit" working security in a Birmingham skyscraper and once dealing with Somalian terrorists with AK-47s and owning his own flooring business with a £1m plus yearly turnover until the "f***ing Polish" put him out of business.

 

It's absolute gold, but also quite sad really that someone has to do that in order to try to fit in.

 

So does anybody have any experience in dealing with people like this or should I just grin and bear it?

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Someone that used to work at the same place as me lied about going on holiday. He booked the time off but never went anywhere, and came back talking about his "holiday". He did this twice.

 

He also constantly lied about pretty much anything, with a ton of conflicting stories and a lot of repeats (because he forgot he already told us the lie, but with a different date). He even copied events that we told him and talked about them as it if was something that happened to me. However, unlike the guy at Dog-amoto's course, it wasn't amusing in the slightest and included lying about important work stuff a lot. After a while, whenever he went on one of these stores everyone just ignored him or changed the subject.

 

He left because he felt as though nobody trusted him.

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There's a guy who I know from back home who everyone has fallen out with because he's a compulsive liar. He would just make up stories to try and get laughs. We were all watching the Champions League final at a friends a few years back and before he arrived we were joking about what he would say when he got in the door.

 

He arrives, first thing he asks the group, very loudly is "Has anyone used anal beads before? I hadn't, until last night!".

 

Aye, good one, Dave.

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There's a guy who I know from back home who everyone has fallen out with because he's a compulsive liar. He would just make up stories to try and get laughs. We were all watching the Champions League final at a friends a few years back and before he arrived we were joking about what he would say when he got in the door.

 

He arrives, first thing he asks the group, very loudly is "Has anyone used anal beads before? I hadn't, until last night!".

 

Aye, good one, Dave.

 

But if he's just doing it for a laugh, is he expecting you to believe it?

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Or, if your not worried about burning your bridges:

 

That's great, man! Why don't you write that down, along with all the rest of your bullshit so I never have to hear it again?

 

I had a guy like that I worked with in the GAME store in Dover in 2004 - thumbnail-sized dandruff flakes, NHS specs and body odour with its own postcode. Apparently he was "fired from Ubisoft for being too creative" and got an interview with Sony but "turned down 40 grand a year because of their attitude problem."

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I went through a phase of making up stuff back in secondary school. I don't even know why, I think I was just bored with life back then and wanted it to be more exciting than it actually was. That stopped after a while though.

 

I have a friend who can do nothing but lie - it isn't even his fault, he just can't help himself. He once told me how he caught a baby a woman dropped from the top floor of the shopping centre in our town.

 

Nothing is better than bullshitting a bullshitter. Let them tell their stories and bullshit them into thinking you believe every word they say. You're essentially ensuring entertainment for the next guy they tell their ridiculous stories to because every time someone else believes their nonsense they grow a little closer to believing it themselves.

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Funnily enough, I get accused of this by one set of 'friends' I have (yeah, I really do know some shit people, I guess). There's this one guy in the group and no matter what I say, everything is bullshit so I actually confronted him last night after he said it again and asked him why he says this constantly. He reckons it's because every time I talk to him, something has happened (which is an exaggeration in itself). I just said that that isn't true and I even asked him "Why would I make shit up?" and he said "I don't know but everytime something happens, you tell us" and I said "Yeah because I thought it was either a funny story or it's news I wanted to share with my friends" and he was like "It's okay, everybody bullshits" and I was like "But I'm not bullshitting" and it kind of went on a bit. So after saying bye to him, I decided not to tell them anything again because it's just going to be a waste of my breath.

 

I've known people to have apparently slept with over 100 women and have done every single position known in the world or somebody has six girlfriends on the go at the same time or something stupid like that. I've also known people to have apparently have boyfriends and girlfriends but they actually don't.

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I used to be this person when I was younger. It's a bizarre compulsion, to be honest, but you kind of can't help it... oO

 

I think people should reflect on this post. It's all well and good to take the piss or just say the person is a nob'ed, but obviously people do these things for a reason or compulsion borne out of some kind of stress or void in their life. I went to school with a lad who made up loads, and loads of pointles lies and stories; at he end of the day he came from a broken home and was forced to change his 2nd name when his mum re-married whilst his dad lived a few streets away and made no attempt to see him.

 

The human mind is such a complex organ and humans are subject to amazing amounts of stress in the modern age, so I'd try and not take affects like this personally or to heart if you can.

 

Personally, I think the guy in the OP has great imagination, he should try and write a book or a film script or something lol.

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I've known people to have apparently slept with over 100 women and have done every single position known in the world or somebody has six girlfriends on the go at the same time or something stupid like that.

 

barney-stinson.jpg

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I think people should reflect on this post. It's all well and good to take the piss or just say the person is a nob'ed, but obviously people do these things for a reason or compulsion borne out of some kind of stress or void in their life. I went to school with a lad who made up loads, and loads of pointles lies and stories; at he end of the day he came from a broken home and was forced to change his 2nd name when his mum re-married whilst his dad lived a few streets away and made no attempt to see him.

 

The human mind is such a complex organ and humans are subject to amazing amounts of stress in the modern age, so I'd try and not take affects like this personally or to heart if you can.

 

Personally, I think the guy in the OP has great imagination, he should try and write a book or a film script or something lol.

 

This is true. In my case it was just me being an idiot, though.

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I've met the odd few liars and exaggerators, one guy i knew, who in fairness was certainly popular with the ladies supposedly slept with over 1000 women....as part of a bet with his dad he couldn't do it

I'd say it was bullshit, but he probably had slept with a few hundred, in the three years i worked with him, we (the staff) as a group went out clubbing thursday, friday and saturday nights, and he pulled most of the time and took them home, but no way can he have got to a thousand.

 

The worst case of it i have found (and it literally makes me so angry when i think of it) was a girl i worked with when i worked at ASDA, she told everyone she had bowel cancer.....

she span that story for a long time, initially it was just 1 or 2 that she'd told but eventually everyone knew, and when we she said there was nothing UK doctors could do and without treatment in the US she'd have 6-12months left we actually started to raise cash to send her

Eventually her guilt made her reveal the truth and she was sacked or quit, i just know we all got told and she never worked there again...

Scummy bitch

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Somewhat related, I've toyed with the idea of putting on a character when meeting people for the first time and see how long I can keep it going. It stems from my love of acting, and I think I also have a bit of a prankster hidden in me somewhere. It's not that I'm interested in fooling them or hiding/improving my own self, it's purely because I love getting into characters.

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