Foightin'

[Rummy]

Ok I'm not sure what this post is but I'm sure it's going to be a little bit long. It's going to be all about me for a bit but it's more about a situation/s for general discussion and helping get my mind in order, which is what I love you guys for.

 

 

So I've just been out for the eve, met a friend of mine as previously planned at 7pm for some relatively local chinese prior to the relatively local pub(I have now, been drinking.) and all was well until they turned out to be closed. Luckily there's another like 5 minutes away.

 

So I was early, got cash, met friend, had to walk back for cash after deciding on chinese and she had none. Get cash, return towards chinese, and then...

 

Casually minding our business, when some heckling/shouting/basically abuse occurs. I don't want to get hung up on it, but basically yes it was racist. Haven't actually had that for a while around here. At first I was just like...ok, ignore it, and I did. Though, as arguably inoffensive/offensive as it is, the fact they're doing it just to be provocative is annoying. My friend did turn and say something and I told her to leave it.

 

They did continue though, and say something about her, and I decided I shouldn't have to continue on ignoring it. So I turned around and walked back and asked what the problem was, they said they were just being friendly and saying hello, I said no they were being racist and wondered why they had a problem with me. I hadn't done nothing, they were two guys who looked relatively young(tbh I'd think 15-18 but I'm a shit judge of age), and pointed out they were being racist and asked why.

 

 

Then one of them starts stepping to me, acting all hard, taking off his shirt/or jacket(wearing just a vest underneath) asking what my problem is, if I know who the fuck he is, and basically threatening me saying how he'd cave my face into the back of my head if there weren't cameras on him etc, taking off his watch and acting like he's all the shit.

 

He offers me a fight down an alley around the corner, but I point out I have plans and no intention to have a fight as he started it, again enquiring to what his problem is. He keeps fronting, but actually does nothing but give me one lone weak shove as I am slowly heading toward my goal of the chinese, and telling him I have plans so I'm not going to fight him. All the while, all that's in my mind is a.) I've just taken out £60 which is in my pocket b.) my friend is also present and I'm supposed to be commencing on a nice evening out and I don't want to give any grief to/for her. I told him to go and start a fight with someone else and see how he feels when he gets his arse kicked, but tonight it would not be by me. After entering the chinese, ordering, getting over the rush and my own friend's anger, it's all forgotten pretty much.

 

 

--------------------------------------------------------

 

Now, that's a long story but this is where my question comes;

 

What would YOU do? Cos part of me wishes the cunt had gone for me, if he'd made a fucking effort and I wasn't with my friend, maybe I'd have given it my best to kick his fucking arse and teach him a lesson to not be a cunt(though, relevance or not, this is where a schoolkid was stabbed in broad daylight quite very recently; lightning/twice though).

 

 

But then part of me hates that I even think like that, in such a primitive and pugilistic way, that I was better to walk away. Yet it also makes me think...if nothing deals with people like this, then what stops it from happening?

 

 

Basically it enrages me, and I wonder...why? Is it just me?

[The Bard]

You handled it like a king, I would have, especially after drinking, taken him up on his dumb ass offer, and had my ass beat.

[Wesley]

You handled that pretty well, dude.

 

I honestly don't know what I'd do.

 

I've been in similar situations before and have done different things, when they've pretty much been the same.

 

That's what worries me a little bit.

 

I wish I could depend on feeling/doing the same thing.

 

Instead it can change.

[Retro_Link]

I doubt I could hold my own in a proper fight, not that kind of guy, no experience of it, so yeah I'd have to walk away.

 

EDIT: There's no doubting... I couldn't! :p

Edited July 26, 2011 by Retro_Link

[Rummy]

You handled it like a king, I would have, especially after drinking, taken him up on his dumb ass offer, and had my ass beat.

 

Oh, no, it was the beginning of the night. I was sober. What also annoyed me is that while they were stepping to me some black guy was walking past and said for them to walk on, but then I think I realised...he was telling ME to walk on, when I'd done nothing wrong except question what the fuck was wrong with them. I don't want this to become some big issue/thread about racism though, it's more about...how do you react when someone's being so ignorantly provocative in your face? Even to shove you? Admittedly he didn't hit me, but I think he was too scared/uncertain to throw a first punch, which is even more reason why I wish I had taken the gamble.

 

But then as I said, I hate that I even contemplate that as a possibility. But...urgh, it's hard to explain, maybe. I dunno.

 

I don't KNOW if I could hold my own in a fight...but does that mean that I shouldn't? I guess I'm worried of shrinking in fear instead of at least making a brave, albeit possibly foolish, attempt to stand up for myself and triumph.

[Ramar]

I tend to ignore people in situations like that. I'd be more concerned on a weapon being pulled out. Admittedly I've never experienced racist abuse so I can't really comment on how I would react in that situation. However Rummy I reckon you dealt with it well.

[Wesley]

But you look pretty 'ard Rummy.

 

I think you could have taken him.

 

The fact that a lady was with you changes stuff also...

 

I would be less willing to get involved with that kind of thing if a girl was with me.

 

I'd think (I know this is crazy), "What if they beat me up and rape her?"

 

I'm pretty weird.

 

I'll be leaving now.

[Beast]

I've had this happen to me but in a different circumstance. I had a kid in class who made remarks like 'nigger' and 'you're the colour of shit' so I just went up to him and punched him but the teacher saw me. She called us both over and asked why I did it and he was lying and I said "Well, he was being racist to me so I hit him" and the teacher turned to him and said "It serves you right then".

 

I don't think I'd do anything now unless he hit me or something. The thing with people like that is that they wouldn't dare say that to you if they were alone. I would probably have given him a slap and told him to move on if he was on his own but when it's someone else involved, it's not a fair fight. I act on self-defence.

[The Peeps]

Handled like a pro, well done Rummy. People like that really aren't worth the grief. Let them feel hard while they're out with their pathetic following because when they get home to their council estate and alcoholic, jobless parents they will remember how ridiculous their existence is.

 

I'd like to think I would've just turned around and sucker-punched the guy right in the face, bringing him down in one. Truthfully I probably would've handled it the same way as you which, though it doesn't often feel it, is the best way. Avoid confrontation, be the bigger person and just ignore it.

 

You could always use the Stephen Fry defence with people like that, just say 'don't hit me, I'll get an erection!'.

[Daft]

I'd have said "I have to return some videotapes." Then walked off.

[The fish]

I'd have said "I have to return some videotapes." Then walked off.

 

Anyone care to explain?

[Daft]

Anyone care to explain?

 

 

[Goafer]

I had some shit try and start a fight with me in Cineworld car park because I had the audacity to park within 6 spaces of where him and his friends were chillaxing. He had 3 or 4 friends in the car with him, I was alone. He kept asking me questions, then telling me to shut up and come closer. I just said no and got back in my car. He was still walking towards me as I drove off.

 

Christ knows what he was planning if he got to me. I know what I was planning though, I keep a fire extinguisher and a dirty great tyre wrench in the rear footwell for just such an occasion. If spraying them in the face with the extinguisher doesn't work, the wrench will.

[Murr]

I think that was handled perfectly. As you say it was you and your lady friend, and this one mouthy fuck wasn't alone.

 

So say you swing the first punch and this loud mouth goes down, if his friend was actually a true friend he would of gone after you too, thus an unfair fight if the first guy you hit should of gotten back up.

 

 

That is what really really pisses me off about these little fuck tards that start shit, they would never say anything to some one if they were alone, or they would never say something to someone if that person had 1 or 2 male friends with them.

 

 

There really is so many scummy twats around, really does grind my gears, I've had my face re-arranged on many occasions purely to being out numbered.

 

 

 

1 example, with my best friend and his girlfriend leaving a bar, walk past a group of lads and one of them says to the girl in our group "I know you!" and she did.

 

actually started as a friendly laughy chat with me and my friend chatting quite freely with this group of 4 lads and referring to each other as 'mate!'

Well it turned out my friend and his girlfriend were going skiing a week later with one of this lads parents, so my friend just said, "Oh yeah I'm going skiing with your mum and dad next week!"

 

at this point, this kid just snapped and squared up, grabbed my friend by the collar saying "What did you say about my mum?!" then one if his friends encouraging a fight says "He said he's going to fuck your mum!"

 

out of no-where my friend is being pushed into a wall by 2 of these guys. I'm stood there like what the fuck is happening and launched into these 2 guys. Next this I Know I've felt a thud on the back of my head, I'm on the floor with one guy with his had round my throat caving my face in, while another is kicking my ribs in, all I can see is my friend up against the wall trying to push past the 2 blokes he's contending with to get to me, Cause I'm in a bad way.

 

the girlfriend has run off and got police who were on the beat to come and help, and they back off my friend. My friend comes to me and pushes the 2 blokes who were doing damage to me off me and away and the police then hold my friend back and tell him to calm down. to be fair he lost his temper then to the police saying things along the lines of "Calm down? my friends just had his head kicked in helping me and your restraining me, it was these pricks blah blah blah!"

Edited July 27, 2011 by Murr

[Marcamillian]

Personally I find it amusing. To both recieve and do. It's a shame people like to be like that, but what else are you gonna do?

 

 

 

 

Bt honestly. As people have already said, never experienced racism but had random antagonistic stuff shouted. Again, not a fighter myself though I think pretty much all men secretly think they'd have a chance/enjoy the idea of fighting.

 

More than anything its the knock on that would put me off. Best case scenario you mash them up good and proper. Next week / next month / next year the same little shit and several of his mates will be looking for you, more likely to have a knife with them.

 

I get what you mean about having done nothing wrong and why should you suffer abuse. The abuse isn't personal, it's just antagonistic. They're probably not even that racist outside of that situation, they just want a fight cause they're a little shit.

[MoogleViper]

Bt honestly. As people have already said, never experienced racism but had random antagonistic stuff shouted. Again, not a fighter myself though I think pretty much all men secretly think they'd have a chance/enjoy the idea of fighting.

 

Men think they're good at fighting, sex and driving.

[Ramar]

Men think they're good at fighting, sex and driving.

 

inb4chairrantsaboutblokes

[jayseven]

Part of the thing you're feeling, Rummy, is that l'spirit de l'escalier, or whatever it's called - retrospectively realising a better thing to have done/said than what actually occurred. As everyone said, you did the 'right thing' - but what's eating you is that tehy will be running around trololololing about the whole affair, and probably continue and do it again sometime.

 

Idealistically, you rise above it and sneer at their infantile activities. Whilst it'd be nice to cream their face upon the underside of your boot, it really solves nothing at all. The guy that walked past and said "walk away" ... he said that because he's probably been exactly where you were and knows exactly how it can play out. It's shitty because it clearly stuck with you through the night and tinged your evening with sour thoughts of punching people in the face/being van damme and destroying them and rescuing the girl/etc. Moments like that play with your macho, but there's no legitimate, real reason to let these occasions dye the truth of the matter; they were naive, ignorant twats who went out solely to cause offense and offer derision in return for some chumpish, neanderthal-like laughs that they themselves will (mostly) look back on and cringe.

 

They're in a group so they're not behaving how they truly would independantly.

 

Rising above it and not allowing it to impinge your routine is what a winner is all about. If you ever see them again, laugh in their face and move on.

 

If this has got you questioning the fight side of things - would you last? Would you hurt? Would you kill? - then get learning some kravmaga man :P Feel secure in your self-defense and you'll rise above the situation quicker, knowing you'll take out the nonsense-fuelled vestwearer in a pinch if he stretches it that far. For him to be all "MATE IF THE TEACHER WASN'T WATCHING I'D TOTALLY DECK YOU" is pathetic on his part.

 

Yeah. Real life trolls.

 

Been happy-slapped in leeds. Been threatened by a gang of people in Sheffield. Walking Away leads to what-if thoughts but truly is safest option and... yeah. I know what it's like man.jpg

[Rummy]

Personally I find it amusing. To both recieve and do. It's a shame people like to be like that, but what else are you gonna do?

 

I was waiting for someone, especially you, to bring that up :p

Worry not, the irony did not skip my mind.

Edited July 27, 2011 by Rummy

[Dannyboy-the-Dane]

Well done, Rummy. You were the greater man and walked away. I understand the urge to deck such jerks (it's a pretty basic instinct, really), but ultimately it's a waste of energy that might very well backfire: You were outnumbered, he could've had a weapon, and even if you did manage to beat him this time, he might want revenge. Then there's always the risk that you could get in legal trouble for it (the fairness of which is debatable, but it's something that needs to be considered as it is at present), and ultimately it's unlikely it'd do anything but reinforce the jerk's primitive view of the world and consequently his jerkiness.

 

In such a situation I wouldn't be able to fight back even if I wanted to. I'm much too scared about the consequences. Even if I could hold my own against such a dude, they never fight fair, and suddenly I might find myself surrounded by a gang of thugs, a gun in my face or a knife if my chest. Nothing good would come out of physically fighting someone like that.

[Rummy]

Again, not a fighter myself though I think pretty much all men secretly think they'd have a chance/enjoy the idea of fighting.

 

This as well, I know for a fact part of me longs for a good fight, it's something so primal, but then part of me then questions being like that.

 

Again, not a fighter myself though I think pretty much all men secretly think they'd have a chance/enjoy the idea of fighting.

 

This as well, I know for a fact part of me longs for a good fight, it's something so primal, but then part of me then questions being like that.

 

Part of the thing you're feeling, Rummy, is that l'spirit de l'escalier, or whatever it's called - retrospectively realising a better thing to have done/said than what actually occurred. As everyone said, you did the 'right thing' - but what's eating you is that tehy will be running around trololololing about the whole affair, and probably continue and do it again sometime.

 

Idealistically, you rise above it and sneer at their infantile activities. Whilst it'd be nice to cream their face upon the underside of your boot, it really solves nothing at all. The guy that walked past and said "walk away" ... he said that because he's probably been exactly where you were and knows exactly how it can play out. It's shitty because it clearly stuck with you through the night and tinged your evening with sour thoughts of punching people in the face/being van damme and destroying them and rescuing the girl/etc. Moments like that play with your macho, but there's no legitimate, real reason to let these occasions dye the truth of the matter; they were naive, ignorant twats who went out solely to cause offense and offer derision in return for some chumpish, neanderthal-like laughs that they themselves will (mostly) look back on and cringe.

 

They're in a group so they're not behaving how they truly would independantly.

 

Rising above it and not allowing it to impinge your routine is what a winner is all about. If you ever see them again, laugh in their face and move on.

 

If this has got you questioning the fight side of things - would you last? Would you hurt? Would you kill? - then get learning some kravmaga man :P Feel secure in your self-defense and you'll rise above the situation quicker, knowing you'll take out the nonsense-fuelled vestwearer in a pinch if he stretches it that far. For him to be all "MATE IF THE TEACHER WASN'T WATCHING I'D TOTALLY DECK YOU" is pathetic on his part.

 

Yeah. Real life trolls.

 

Been happy-slapped in leeds. Been threatened by a gang of people in Sheffield. Walking Away leads to what-if thoughts but truly is safest option and... yeah. I know what it's like man.jpg

 

A good post. Although I dunno if the hindsight was of doing a better thing, and it didn't impinge upon my evening much until I got to thinking on the way home.

 

(also brb lunch will actually post longer when I get back)

[heroicjanitor]

Right now I always think there is no point in fighting, as even if I win I could still get hurt. Beating someone up doesn't benefit me as far as I can tell... I have pretty good restraint, the only time people start fights is when playing football and even then they are just being frustrated. If someone actually swung for me on the street I can't tell what I would do. Logic dictates that I should run, but running makes me seam weak, but I don't really care if people think I'm weak, but if I don't end it there it will happen again, if I do end it there they could come back with friends... It all depends on where I am and how tough the other guy looks :p I have been in lots of confrontations and not fought so the odds are good I won't fight. Generally when you are tall (like me) people will mouth off but not attack. I have only ever been in a proper fight once (not my fault btw, he was ridiculous. He is now in prison for knifing his dad I think, something involving knives.), unless people are always fighting then they don't know how to hold themselves/ attack you so they generally won't.

 

I hate when people tell me obviously fake stories about when they fought someone

Edited July 27, 2011 by heroicjanitor

[EddieColeslaw]

But then part of me hates that I even think like that, in such a primitive and pugilistic way, that I was better to walk away. Yet it also makes me think...if nothing deals with people like this, then what stops it from happening?

 

Life.

 

Fighting is unnecessary imo, unless you're attacked first. Not fighting saves a lot of potential trouble. Anyone can heckle and throw a punch, only someone with maturity will assess the situation and understand - see into the future and see what kind of life these kind of people will lead. There's no reason to stoop to their level.

 

/has witnessed many fights while working late and thinks it's dumb

[MoogleViper]

I hate when people tell me obviously fake stories about when they fought someone

 

I hate that as well. Whenever I tell somebody about the time a fought of 6 guys, 3 of which were ninjas, 2 were body builders and the other was Klitschko, somebody always follows it up with a fake story.

[Grazza]

Personally, I would never start a fight or throw the first punch unless an actual fight had clearly been started by the other person. If he pushed me, I'd push him back harder (and prepare for the consequences), but I wouldn't actually throw a punch until the fight had started. One punch from them could kill you, one punch from me could kill them.

 

I'm pragmatic about it. You can't stop people being morons. Whilst I'm not a target for racism or homophobia, these people are just total, utter, sub-human scum: they'll have a go at anyone. If they shout at me, I'll shout back, but I wouldn't approach them. If they threw something at me, I'd probably report it to the police, because (technically) you are still not in a position where you truly need to fight them.

 

Like it or not (and I don't), it's far more sensible to leave it and get on with your life, and leave them to their moronic existence.