The Cape Posted October 7, 2016 Posted October 7, 2016 Simple, on Tinder they have already matched with you, they want you to message them, they swipe through dozens of profiles at their own leisure. On PoF etc. they are totally buried in messages and only the best of the best even have a chance of standing out. If it helps, I met my girlfriend (:p) on Tinder. Wasn't meant to be a thing for either of us, but ended up being a thing. Well on PoF there's the 'meet me' thing. Mutual yes' are notified, and some of them answered to me (a bit more than half, which is a much higher percentage rate than with the others). Some even messaged first. I can't seem to get any responses on POF but quite a lot on tinder . Same profile , any ideas what my issue could be ? In addition to what I said above, messaging people who recently created the account also helps in getting more answers.
Debug Mode Posted October 7, 2016 Posted October 7, 2016 Seems like a good approach. Also sounds like women are just flinging themselves at you over there :p I'd take your time, be calm and cool and it you'll find something good soon enough. The process of the date itself gets better with experience, just think: you'll never point a soup lid at yourself (or a date!) again The hard part is usually finding people and getting started, and you seem to have that bit down. Slight update, the 'hard to get' attitude may have backfired aha. In other news, have a jealous ex boyfriend on my case because I get along a little too well with his ex. The temptation just to ask her out even though I'm not interested is strong, but luckily I'm not that big of a cunt yet.
drahkon Posted December 6, 2016 Posted December 6, 2016 I've just told my best mate for the second time that he should break up with his girlfriend. Why? In the last 2 weeks 4 people approached me and said: "Wow, she really knows how to manipulate him, doesn't she?" He just won't accept it. He won't even accept that he needs to talk to her about this. He complains so much about her but he just won't listen to my advice. I know that I might be in the wrong and as an outsider could be interpreting everything falsely but I'm not the only who thinks that their relationship isn't healthy... Ignorance is bliss, I guess?
Pestneb Posted December 6, 2016 Posted December 6, 2016 (edited) I've just told my best mate for the second time that he should break up with his girlfriend. Why?In the last 2 weeks 4 people approached me and said: "Wow, she really knows how to manipulate him, doesn't she?" He just won't accept it. He won't even accept that he needs to talk to her about this. He complains so much about her but he just won't listen to my advice. I know that I might be in the wrong and as an outsider could be interpreting everything falsely but I'm not the only who thinks that their relationship isn't healthy... Ignorance is bliss, I guess? I don't know how you've approached this, but maybe just ask him questions. How does he want to make her feel? Why? How does she make him feel? How would he like to feel in a relationship? Maybe not as pointed as that, but I think of it like custard, punch it and (apparently :P) it acts like a solid, but apply a lesser but steady pressure and it behaves like a thick liquid. Saying "leave her" puts him and her vs you, he won't necessarily consider your points, he'll refute them and then it reinforces the "gotta stick it out" mentality. Being less confrontational may work... (not sure if this advice is crap or not but.. maybe.) I was super in love with a girl who wasn't a nice person at all. I managed to see how manipulative she was, which kinda protected me a bit, but even though I knew she was someone I wouldn't want in my life... "love" (not sure that is the appropriate word tbh) made me like a moth and she was the candle. But yeah, it's all about him REALISING what she is like I think, that is the first step. Others probably have better advice though. Edited December 6, 2016 by Pestneb
Fierce_LiNk Posted December 6, 2016 Posted December 6, 2016 Just a quick one... Got engaged yesterday. Congratulations! When is the big day for you and @Blade?
Eenuh Posted December 6, 2016 Posted December 6, 2016 Just a quick one... Got engaged yesterday. Congratulations!
Kav Posted December 6, 2016 Posted December 6, 2016 Congratulations! When is the big day for you and @Blade? Hahaha, this is gold!
Shorty Posted December 7, 2016 Posted December 7, 2016 Congrats @kav82 planned or spur of the moment?
drahkon Posted December 7, 2016 Posted December 7, 2016 I don't know how you've approached this, but maybe just ask him questions.How does he want to make her feel? Why? How does she make him feel? How would he like to feel in a relationship? Already asked about everything the first time and I'm pretty sure he lied to me with every answer (e.g. he always complains about how jealous she is but when I asked him how much it bothers him he said: "Not at all."). Being less confrontational may work... That's what I tried the first time but it didn't work. Yesterday I tried the more direct approach. To no avail. Got engaged yesterday. Dude, I'm having a problem and then you chime with this shit. :p Congratulations I somehow knew this wouldn't take long
Happenstance Posted December 7, 2016 Posted December 7, 2016 @drahkon Its obvious you just want to help your friend but unfortunately I dont think flat out telling him to break up with his girlfriend was ever going to be the right way to go. In the end you can only go so far before you start risking your own friendships. You've made your thoughts clear to him and I think thats all you can really do.
drahkon Posted December 7, 2016 Posted December 7, 2016 Maybe. After the not so direct approach I thought telling him to break up would make him think about it at least. Well, I'll just have to accept the current situation.
nightwolf Posted December 7, 2016 Posted December 7, 2016 Maybe. After the not so direct approach I thought telling him to break up would make him think about it at least. Well, I'll just have to accept the current situation. Nobody is ever going to listen to something like that until afterwards (when they break up) and it'll be your fault somehow that you didn't tell him. Best to just leave it otherwise it's going to cause some serious friction between you both.
Kav Posted December 7, 2016 Posted December 7, 2016 Congrats @kav82 planned or spur of the moment? I'd planned it. She knew a proposal was coming but thought it'd be in the new year so it was still a surprise for her. @drahkon I think you've done the right thing with your friend. He's your friend and so there's nothing wrong in being true to him, as long as you're there for him when it does go wrong and be supportive then you've done right by him.
drahkon Posted December 7, 2016 Posted December 7, 2016 Yeah, I think I'll just leave him be. I just have to accept it and get used to it.
Kav Posted December 7, 2016 Posted December 7, 2016 Yeah, I think I'll just leave him be. I just have to accept it and get used to it. That's true too. In the long run a bad relationship could be a good thing for him, it will help him grow emotionally and enable him to see better for it. All you can do now you've said it is stand by him through it all... and I'd say that's the right thing what you've done.
Debug Mode Posted December 14, 2016 Posted December 14, 2016 Small update. Japan is like Persona 3, except I'm not getting the prompt "Hanging out with other girls might have a negative effect" when I reach social link level 5.
Debug Mode Posted December 18, 2016 Posted December 18, 2016 Ahaha, wait for a bus and multiple arrive at once, that's my feeling right now. I'm technically seeing someone since last week but it's a bit of an awkward time so we're not really an official thing, and then at the work christmas party last night, one of the customers I've been good friends with basically let me know she is interested without saying it. Good thing she didn't say anything, no one's ever told me they liked me without me saying something first so I have no idea how to gently shoot it down.
Ashley Posted December 18, 2016 Posted December 18, 2016 "I'm a man, you're a bus, I don't think it's going to work between us"
Debug Mode Posted December 18, 2016 Posted December 18, 2016 "I'm a man, you're a bus, I don't think it's going to work between us" No wonder the objectification issue exists, I accidentally did it without even thinking!
soag Posted December 29, 2016 Posted December 29, 2016 So I now find myself on the dating scene again after my last relationship ended in July. I've been dating a girl 9 years my junior now for about a month and she's fucking fantastic and a massive geek... I'm loving it at the mo
Debug Mode Posted January 3, 2017 Posted January 3, 2017 Person I was technically seeing but not really asked me to be her boyfriend today. Naturally I didn't refuse. Looking like this January is going to be a lot better than last January, which is when I broke up with my ex.
MoogleViper Posted January 4, 2017 Posted January 4, 2017 Person I was technically seeing but not really asked me to be her boyfriend today. Naturally I didn't refuse.Looking like this January is going to be a lot better than last January, which is when I broke up with my ex. Congratulations! Happy for you.
Debug Mode Posted January 5, 2017 Posted January 5, 2017 Congratulations! Happy for you. Thanks man, means a lot. It's been a hell of a month and it was looking like it wasn't going to happen because of all the things she wants that I might not be able to give her if my visa doesn't change, but luckily all the little things that happened over the course of us seeing each other all worked out beautifully.
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