stuwii Posted April 16, 2016 Posted April 16, 2016 Back in the sleeping with people game . Felt so strange
MoogleViper Posted April 16, 2016 Posted April 16, 2016 Back in the sleeping with people game . Felt so strange I've heard you get used to it after a few tries. A girls like it so at least it'll keep them happy.
stuwii Posted April 17, 2016 Posted April 17, 2016 Made a girl feel a lot better post her recent breakup apparently. That's awesome. I'm not ready for a relationship but I like making others feel better about themselves
Shorty Posted April 18, 2016 Posted April 18, 2016 Think I'm gonna have to say something next time I see this girl, and when I do, pretty sure that'll be it. Being with her is a lot of fun, but I'm not suited for the ultra casual thing and I think that's all she wants.
Magnus Posted April 18, 2016 Posted April 18, 2016 (edited) Think I'm gonna have to say something next time I see this girl, and when I do, pretty sure that'll be it. Being with her is a lot of fun, but I'm not suited for the ultra casual thing and I think that's all she wants. Don't be such a girl, Shorty. Edited April 18, 2016 by Magnus
Rummy Posted April 18, 2016 Posted April 18, 2016 (edited) Think I'm gonna have to say something next time I see this girl, and when I do, pretty sure that'll be it. Being with her is a lot of fun, but I'm not suited for the ultra casual thing and I think that's all she wants. I'd ask the ladies to weigh in on this one if they're about but my advice is - keep it simple. I literally just asked this girl one question and that was it - got the job done and didn't need to express any doubts or mentalness that may or may not have actually been going on in my head. Even being 'official' doesn't mean you're going to last forever etc so it's in some ways not too big a deal, though I think knowing my own mentality it can kinda feel a bit more than it is. Try not to make it a huuuuuge conversation imo, play it cool. It's easier for me to say - but just ask her something like - 'So...is this just a casual thing or can it be something more?'(phrase it better than I can lol) - one simple question that hopefully gets you a simple answer(tbh I didn't actually get a verbal answer ) and if it isn't then that's it for you if you really feel that way. If it were me, I'd probably just be happier knowing whether it was or wasn't, rather than caring too much either way - I know that sounds weird but I was easy and more keen to just sorta know where we stood, I coulda stuck with it not being a big thing. Asking the question and just knowing where you stand; you might be able to keep it as an open option if you're happy with that rather than losing her completely. #NoIdeaIfThisIsHelpfulIOnlyJustStartedDoingThis P.S - I'm curious as it never came up - what ARE your rules of dating that you referred to with Moogle, @Shorty? Edited May 29, 2016 by Rummy
Shorty Posted April 18, 2016 Posted April 18, 2016 Yes I don't plan to say anything complicated, but where were things in your head? I imagine you had at least a 50/50 hope that she returned your interest. I have about a 10% hope. I'm also wondering if I can word it in a way that doesn't kill it outright if she doesn't want more, but not confident of that.... P.S - I'm curious as it never came up - what ARE your rules of dating that you referred to with Moogle, @Shorty ? The ones Bob posted. It's a bitter, jaded interwebs joke but not without a grain of truth
Rummy Posted April 18, 2016 Posted April 18, 2016 Yes I don't plan to say anything complicated, but where were things in your head? I imagine you had at least a 50/50 hope that she returned your interest. I have about a 10% hope. I'm also wondering if I can word it in a way that doesn't kill it outright if she doesn't want more, but not confident of that.... The ones Bob posted. It's a bitter, jaded interwebs joke but not without a grain of truth Ohhhh, didn't know the joke. I am failing my interwebs prowess. For me? I...I guess I just wanted to know. I was actually expecting her to tell me it's a bit too quick for that(it was like...3 weeks, if that, since our original talk about actually liking each other). Now I suppose the question itself forced the topic - not 'where/what are we' but 'can i call you my girlfriend' sort of showed my intent and commitment, but I didn't feel if she'd said no or not yet or let's see what becomes that we'd have called it a day there. I have a feeling she's worried now that I'm falling for her harder than she is me, but I recognise that any relationship takes time and work - and for me the commitment is more to make the effort to make that work, if that makes sense? I mean, I do really like her, but I'm almost still thinking it's too good to be true that I can almost walk away from it if I need to. I think the age perspective/gap makes a difference. You seem, too, to be able to be prepared to walk away from it. I almost think that confidence of knowing what you want should/would be enough to have the conversation sensibly - but again the difference with me is that she's so much younger, I wouldn't have been this...removed? nonchalant? indifferent? if I was still her age. I'm not any of those words, but I can't explain it. I'm absolutely prepared to take it or leave it without being too hurt either way right now, but again that's maybe because it feels almost unreal in some senses.
MoogleViper Posted April 18, 2016 Posted April 18, 2016 I'm trying to think of a way to end it with the girl that @Shorty advised me to end it with a few weeks ago and I totally didn't listen to him even though I should have but that's irrelevant now because it's already passed that. Any suggestions on how to end it without making her feel bad? I want to say something along the lines of "I've been having doubts as to our compatibility, and don't want to progress things further with you as that will only make it harder in the long run", but without sounding cold and emotionless. Help please.
Shorty Posted April 18, 2016 Posted April 18, 2016 You want a way that's not going to hurt her at all. Doesn't exist. Mulling over it will just stretch it out further and make it worse. Also, "doubts as to our compatibility" will make her wonder "what's wrong with me?". Pin it on yourself instead, "realised I'm not actually looking for a serious relationship right now, after all".
Charlie Posted April 18, 2016 Posted April 18, 2016 Ohhhh, didn't know the joke. I am failing my interwebs prowess. Don't worry, it's a terrible joke and no one finds it funny. It also potentially makes people who aren't traditionally attractive feel like they've got no chance and also suggests that you are either attractive or you are not. We all know there are things that be done to improve your appearance. For some this could be simply getting a hair cut, or buying different clothes. For others this could be losing weight, or gaining weight, or improving their conversational skills.
Shorty Posted April 18, 2016 Posted April 18, 2016 (edited) Don't worry, it's a terrible joke and no one finds it funny. It also potentially makes people who aren't traditionally attractive feel like they've got no chance and also suggests that you are either attractive or you are not. We all know there are things that be done to improve your appearance. For some this could be simply getting a hair cut, or buying different clothes. For others this could be losing weight, or gaining weight, or improving their conversational skills.Yeah. I don't want to open this can of worms too far, but frankly being told things like this from someone who has no way to see things from the other perspective feels insulting. Yes you're right, there are ways you can improve yourself, to a degree, but it can't afford everyone the same opportunities as everyone else. I have lost a lot of weight, worked out, bought better fitting clothes. I've improved my cooking, bought a house, got new hobbies. I don't have any issue holding a conversation with a girl, I am engaging, I listen a lot, I make girls laugh. When I do match with someone on Tinder, I always get a date with them, so far, 100% success rate. But the pool is small. I won't match with 99% of the people I swipe right on Tinder. I get no response from 90% of the women I send initial messages to on OKC/PoF. You think it's a copout to claim it's because I'm unattractive? It's not. And I don't blame anyone, it is human nature, I am guilty of it myself. The things about me that are unattractive, you cannot fix with products or effort. Get a hair cut? Ha, what if you don't have any hair and look bad without it? In comparison, I've taken my work colleague's phone on a night out for a laugh, opened Tinder, swiped right on a dozen women, matched with most of them and behaved like he does, acting like a dick, saying things I never could with my own profile, and its worked. They give him their number, they send pictures. Then he just ignores them, to keep them keen. Which works. Because he's attractive. "Traditionally" attractive. With zero effort. Edited April 18, 2016 by Shorty
MoogleViper Posted April 18, 2016 Posted April 18, 2016 You want a way that's not going to hurt her at all. Doesn't exist. Mulling over it will just stretch it out further and make it worse. Also, "doubts as to our compatibility" will make her wonder "what's wrong with me?". Pin it on yourself instead, "realised I'm not actually looking for a serious relationship right now, after all". The trouble with that is that I am looking for a serious relationship, and I think she'd know it was a lie. I know there's no easy way out, but I want to end it in a way that doesn't make her feel insecure or anything. You're right that I need to pin it on myself, just need to find the best (read: least worst) way of doing it.
Raining_again Posted April 20, 2016 Posted April 20, 2016 Yeah. I don't want to open this can of worms too far, but frankly being told things like this from someone who has no way to see things from the other perspective feels insulting. Yes you're right, there are ways you can improve yourself, to a degree, but it can't afford everyone the same opportunities as everyone else. QTF! I'm over 20 stone, freakishly tall and wide for a female, and I get plenty of attention. I'm not AT ALL typically attractive. I'd have no problems at all getting many dates if I didn't have absurdly high standards. FYI @Shorty - I would talk to the girl and ask. Regrets from things you never did are a million times worse than the regrets from what you did. Because at least when you did you tried your damn best. You're obv wanting more and you shouldn't forget about your needs because you think its your only chance. You are awesome and any woman would be lucky to have you. **** In my love life, I'm getting a bit too close again to my ex, probably not recommended. But I'm okay with it because he's fucking off to Oz soon enough. He's finally got around to being ok again after the 2 year crazy, and it really REALLY hits me that he is that person that I fell in love with those nearly 3 years ago... BLAH.
Magnus Posted April 26, 2016 Posted April 26, 2016 I can't see the picture at work. Did Serebii get laid?
soag Posted April 26, 2016 Posted April 26, 2016 I'm super confused about a girl I like and I think she likes me.... Hmmmm. It's still early days but it's the most I've felt for someone in a long long time. Distance would be a big issue, about 100 miles. But it's only like 2 hours on the bus I guess. Ponder on this I must.
Serebii Posted April 26, 2016 Posted April 26, 2016 I can't see the picture at work. Did Serebii get laid? A gentleman never tells
Mr-Paul Posted April 26, 2016 Posted April 26, 2016 A gentleman never tells The point of this thread is to tell! Same girl you were saying you wouldn't want to risk anything with the other week, or something new?
Cube Posted April 26, 2016 Posted April 26, 2016 A gentleman never tells She traded Pokémon cards with you?
Serebii Posted April 26, 2016 Posted April 26, 2016 The point of this thread is to tell! Same girl you were saying you wouldn't want to risk anything with the other week, or something new? That's the one. Strictly no strings attached though. We're both cool with it since we know we want different things.
Beast Posted April 26, 2016 Posted April 26, 2016 QTF! I'm over 20 stone, freakishly tall and wide for a female, and I get plenty of attention. I'm not AT ALL typically attractive. I'd have no problems at all getting many dates if I didn't have absurdly high standards. FYI @Shorty - I would talk to the girl and ask. Regrets from things you never did are a million times worse than the regrets from what you did. Because at least when you did you tried your damn best. You're obv wanting more and you shouldn't forget about your needs because you think its your only chance. You are awesome and any woman would be lucky to have you. **** In my love life, I'm getting a bit too close again to my ex, probably not recommended. But I'm okay with it because he's fucking off to Oz soon enough. He's finally got around to being ok again after the 2 year crazy, and it really REALLY hits me that he is that person that I fell in love with those nearly 3 years ago... BLAH. Is it that fake snake in the grass? Shaniquanisha just keeps saying "uh-uh" and shaking her head and wagging her finger...
Recommended Posts