Posted December 31, 2011 Nights have never been about hooking me up. Never ever. Plus my friends do want to hang out with me, they're just "over" going out of the house for fun plus they're broke. I don't see them as emblems or anything. You seem to forget that I used to be a fat social recluse and that has brought up numerous mental issues, one of them being a complete lack of confidence and self esteem. Even when I'm with males who I don't know, I'm a quiet person. It's hard for me to break out of my shell Nobody else is going to break you out of that shell, though. Nobody is going to zap you with a confidence or self-esteem ray that magically solves it. Trial and error, pain and consequence. You need to learn for yourself rather than asking on a forum where half the people have no legitimate experience with the opposite sex at all. Go do some recon and come back to tell the rest how it's done! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted December 31, 2011 one of them being a complete lack of confidence and self esteem. Listen to Kanye West! You'll gain confidence through osmosis. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted December 31, 2011 You'll never get anywhere if you don't do anything, serebii. That's basically it. Man up and go for it. You have nothing to lose. If there's a boyfriend then hey, no biggie, you were just talking to the girl, right? This! Just don't...feel her up or anything! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted December 31, 2011 (edited) I'm with Jay on this one. If you want to talk to a girl, then do it. Go up to her and ask her a question. Theres no golden ticket that will guarantee getting into a flowing conversation. If you have started talking to a girl, and shes not interested, she'll let you know that by how she reacts to the question. Actually, this reminds me of a drinking game me and a couple of friends have. It's pretty awful, but also kinda funny, and not nasty in anyway. It's called "biscuit of the week". Basically, when you see what you consider to be the best looking girl you've seen all week, you have to announce this to your mates. And then you are obligated to tell her that she is your biscuit of the week. The thing about it is that you can go up to her very apologetic and non-threatening. Just say "excuse me, I'm sorry, I just have to tell you that you're my biscuit of the week. Sorry to bother you, have a good night" etc etc. The only other rule is that if she asks what "biscuit of the week" is, you have to explain it to her. If she doesnt ask, you just wander away, doesn't matter, nothing ventured nothing gained. If she asks, you again very apologetically explain "yeah, its this stupid drinking game me and my friends have, I'm not being funny, its just when you see someone who you think is the fittest person youve seen all week, you have to go up and say that too them in that stupid way, I just saw you from over there and thought it so had to come up and tell you. Again sorry to bother you blabalbal". The genius of this is that if she's not interested she'll just nod and say "riiiight, cheers?" and thats that, all youve done is given a girl a compliment. If she looks at you and is interested, and youve just come over and said that, then she'll make an effort to keep the conversation going. It's her thats really initiating it, and you'll immediately notice it. But please don't let this replace doing it properly, like I say it's a weird game that gets enforced in my friends. That said, I know someone who's gotten laid by using that as the ice breaker. Edit: The other greatest chat up line ever is "How much does a polar bear weigh? Enough to break the ice! Hi, I'm Gizmo." Me and my friend experimented with that one night and some of the looks of disgust we got were priceless. Edited December 31, 2011 by Gizmo Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted December 31, 2011 You'll never get anywhere if you don't do anything, serebii. That's basically it. Man up and go for it. You have nothing to lose. If there's a boyfriend then hey, no biggie, you were just talking to the girl, right? You're fixated on seeing these girls as emblems of all this built up hope and promise -- just go out and chat to them as if they're normal human beings and just see if you get on. If they block you or ignore you or whatever, then that's that, move on. Sitting back and just mentally constructing a maze where a is you on one side of the pub or club, and b is your penis inside her... well that's just futile, facile, and foolish. Maybe your mates don't hang out with you anymore because they don't want each night out to be just about trying to hook you up..? TL;DR: You're putting the pussy on a pedestal. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted January 1, 2012 Yeah women are in most cases just as nervous/scared as guys are, just a lot of them are good at putting up a front Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted January 1, 2012 Success. As soon as the friend went off because he seemed to be emotional over something, , me and the girl got together. But then he's blueness made her leave so I had to stay like 30 minutes by myself before I found some guy to suck face with. Happy new year! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted January 1, 2012 Success. As soon as the friend went off because he seemed to be emotional over something, , me and the girl got together. But then he's blueness made her leave so I had to stay like 30 minutes by myself before I found some guy to suck face with. Happy new year! You're the...anti-Serebii. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted January 1, 2012 I shouldn't post drunk... Was more thinking of them having a boyfriend who then suddenly shows up, has a high blood alcohol level and thus reverts to his basic instincts and stabs me in the eye I sincerely hope you're not serious about being stabbed in the eye, even if you keep repeating it. I've kissed this girl with her boyfriend in the same club, and another time in the same house. If I can do that without getting stabbed, you can talk to a girl. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted January 4, 2012 Girlfriend left this morning to go to Peru to do Voluntary work in a shanty town, she's not back til APRIL!!! Guess the best thing for me to do now is try and distract myself once my exams are over. gonna nerd myself out with my new PS3, join the gym and party like I've never partied before. With that said Im missing her loads Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted January 4, 2012 Still unable to make inital first contact with females. I don't know how you guys do it. Was out tonight, a few eyeing me up...but I just couldn't make contact What do you say? How do you converse with them? What subject should be utilised? I'm determined to make sure 2012 isn't as shit for me romantically as 2011...and 2010...and 2009...and 2008...and all but the first day of 2007 Help I walked up to two girls and asked them if 'They were alone?' and if 'Anyone knew where they were?'. Suffice to say it worked. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted January 4, 2012 I don't get it? B-because they were together? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted January 5, 2012 (edited) I walked up to two girls and asked them if 'They were alone?' and if 'Anyone knew where they were?'. Suffice to say it worked. Classic technique. By worked I assume you mean you had your name successfully entered onto a register? Serebii I don't see why you're always so whiney about this. You've got a L100 Deoxys. And I wouldn't utter such a thing lightly, you know me. And you've probably done all that EV training/Pokerus crap to it too. You've mastered all the Pokemon, it's time to move onto the ladies. Start with some general banter, and establish friendship. Only then think about the nerve-racking task of asking one of these ladies out. Edited January 5, 2012 by Sheikah Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted January 5, 2012 Listen to Kanye West! You'll gain confidence through osmosis. Yo Ashley I'mma let you finish, but jayseven gave the best advice about confidence of all time. The best advice about confidence of all time! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted January 5, 2012 Was more thinking of them having a boyfriend who then suddenly shows up, has a high blood alcohol level and thus reverts to his basic instincts and stabs me in the eye That's just your mind attempting to justify why you can't talk to girls. My mind also does the exact same thing, with a variety of different excuses. All because I simply don't know how to start a conversation (the inability to start a conversation is in general, though, and not solely related to girls). Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted January 5, 2012 Was more thinking of them having a boyfriend who then suddenly shows up, has a high blood alcohol level and thus reverts to his basic instincts and stabs me in the eye Man up and go for it. No one is going to stab you or hit you for talking to a girl. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted January 5, 2012 No one is going to stab you or hit you for talking to a girl. Actually I've seen people get beaten up for talking to a girl. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted January 5, 2012 Man up and go for it. And advice like this never helps, no matter how much it's repeated. I know I have to "man up" and talk to them. The problem is doing that process. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted January 5, 2012 And advice like this never helps, no matter how much it's repeated. I know I have to "man up" and talk to them. The problem is doing that process. Actually peer pressure does work. If you're out with a group of pals and they're constantly telling you to go and talk to someone, the only way to get them to stop is to go and do it. The first time is the hardest but it gets easier the more you do it. Actually I've seen people get beaten up for talking to a girl. What did this person say though? If you go up and say 'hi' then nothing is going to happen. If a massive boyfriend comes over and asks what you're doing you have a few options; run away, tell him you're gay, tell him the girl started the conversation etc etc. Getting approached by someone is flattering and people like it happening to them. Always remember this. And never apologise for your presence. As in "sorry to bother you but I'm Charlie". Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted January 5, 2012 Actually peer pressure does work. If you're out with a group of pals and they're constantly telling you to go and talk to someone, the only way to get them to stop is to go and do it. The first time is the hardest but it gets easier the more you do it. Last time I went out in Portsmouth with my mates there, they were pushing me for it, but I just froze...my brain just prevented me doing anything and I destroyed the wristband I had in nerves Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted January 5, 2012 What did this person say though? If you go up and say 'hi' then nothing is going to happen. If a massive boyfriend comes over and asks what you're doing you have a few options; run away, tell him you're gay, tell him the girl started the conversation etc etc. Well his girlfriend was dancing and he was stood at the side. Some guy approached her and tried chatting her up. He went up to him and squared up to him to make him go away. Then a few minutes later the guy came back and tried to chat her up again so her boyfriend pushed him away and got chucked out by the bouncer. Then he waited outside the club 'til he came out and battered him. Although I'd like to point out that this isn't all that common, and if the guy had just left the first time he would have been alright. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted January 5, 2012 Well his girlfriend was dancing and he was stood at the side. Some guy approached her and tried chatting her up. He went up to him and squared up to him to make him go away. Then a few minutes later the guy came back and tried to chat her up again so her boyfriend pushed him away and got chucked out by the bouncer. Then he waited outside the club 'til he came out and battered him. Although I'd like to point out that this isn't all that common, and if the guy had just left the first time he would have been alright. Exactly. The boyfriend was obviously a dick but wouldn't have done anything if the guy didn't go back in for a second try. Last time I went out in Portsmouth with my mates there, they were pushing me for it, but I just froze...my brain just prevented me doing anything and I destroyed the wristband I had in nerves Play "Haaaaavveee you met Ted?". Get a mate to introduce you to a random girl and force conversation upon you. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted January 5, 2012 Exactly. The boyfriend was obviously a dick but wouldn't have done anything if the guy didn't go back in for a second try. Play "Haaaaavveee you met Ted?". Get a mate to introduce you to a random girl and force conversation upon you. Yeah that'd probably cause me to have a panic attack :P I'm just not good with social situations. Programming? I'm all on it. Physics & Maths? Perfection. Social? God no...kill it with fire Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted January 5, 2012 Yeah that'd probably cause me to have a panic attack :P I'm just not good with social situations. Programming? I'm all on it. Physics & Maths? Perfection. Social? God no...kill it with fire All stats in PHYS and MATH? None in SOCL? Fail guyz... I'm sure this has come up before but did you try online dating? Slap that photo of yours up on one of them and I'm sure you'll have ladies hitting you up in no time. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted January 5, 2012 All stats in PHYS and MATH? None in SOCL? Fail guyz... I'm sure this has come up before but did you try online dating? Slap that photo of yours up on one of them and I'm sure you'll have ladies hitting you up in no time. Thanks for the compliment. I'm not really a fan of online dating. I feel it's a last resort for me. Don't get me wrong, my sister found her significant other through it and has a child with him and I know of others who met through it. I just want to exhaust all other methods before resorting to it. The problem is, getting through those methods Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
