DiemetriX Posted December 14, 2008 Share Posted December 14, 2008 It's said that opposites attract, but I don't want a ugly dumb girl [/JK]. But in all seriousness, something strange is happening to me. I'm think I'm falling for a girl that is the opposite of what I go after. She's not even my type of attractive. I can't seem to understand why I like her. But when ever I am with her I get a sensation of joy, And when I'm not with her I want to be. I think that If I and her enter a relationship I will get bored of her. And our differences are deal breakers when I think about marriage etc (But I can't think about that now). But right now I love spending time with here, but to make things worse, I totally overstepped the friend barrier last night. I know she likes me a lot. Luckily she's going away for Christmas which gives me time to think. So what experiences do you guys have on this? Do you date outside your comfort zone? They say variation is the spice of life. Do I go down the rabbit hole and see where it leads, or do I take the safe route of dating only my "type". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nightwolf Posted December 14, 2008 Share Posted December 14, 2008 I've dated various people, more recently the people I've dated have been very similar. It's all a matter of just going for it, if it doesn't work then you know what is good for you and what isn't. To me it's silly to have a type because then it stops you from the possiblity of finding somebody amazing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Raining_again Posted December 14, 2008 Share Posted December 14, 2008 Yeah if you stay with "safe" people forever, you may never experience something that could be pretty awesome. Just tell her you don't want to rush into it, and everything should be ok ^^ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jayseven Posted December 14, 2008 Share Posted December 14, 2008 DiemetriX, you constantly forget that we are a bunch of geeks who don't date multiple women in our lifetimes. Or I guess I might just be talking about me! My first girlfriend was pretty much nothing like me. She liked waking up early, she spent ages preparing to encounter the world. She was organised, tidy and had a routine. She was introverted and beautiful. But she didn't like computer games. She did not believe in subjectivity; her opinion was always right. Compromise was not an option because it meant that you had to admit you were wrong in some way. She didn't like 'deep' movies. She didn't like zombie movies. Her music taste changed with the seasons. She was fashionable. Whether someone is opposite or not, you need to be prepared for change. If you're expecting to stay precisely the same, only with a bird on your arm, then no girl is right for you. I think with 'opposites' you will both come into contact with elements of life that you had previously not thought about, not cared about or not wanted to know about. Music, clothes, movies, books, tv, people, food, places, whatever. This 'newness' can be not only refreshing for Ye Whom Hath A 'Type', but you might find out more about yourself. Fuck if I know what I want in life, let alone what I need. If you've got the women at your feet and you're up for a change then go for it. Personally I've fucked up my chances, and I'm not ready to change twho I am, so it'll be that way for a while. Be my vicarious success! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DiemetriX Posted December 14, 2008 Author Share Posted December 14, 2008 Solid Advice from all of you One of the worst things about going with it is the fact that I think I'll end up hurting her feeling later down the road. And just to clarify, I do date people that is different from my self. Most Differences only make a relationship more exciting. But so far I've only dated women that "qualified for marriage" (not that I normally think longterm). But why get serious and waste years on a doomed relationship. I thank again for the input so far I'll just tell her I want to take it slow at first. And try to stay away from other girls for the time being. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RoadKill Posted December 14, 2008 Share Posted December 14, 2008 Well, I'm a man, and I find women attractive, so I see what you mean Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ReZourceman Posted December 14, 2008 Share Posted December 14, 2008 My first girlfriend was pretty much nothing like me. She liked waking up early, she spent ages preparing to encounter the world. She was organised, tidy and had a routine. She was introverted and beautiful. But she didn't like computer games. She did not believe in subjectivity; her opinion was always right. Compromise was not an option because it meant that you had to admit you were wrong in some way. She didn't like 'deep' movies. She didn't like zombie movies. Her music taste changed with the seasons. She was fashionable. What....what was her name.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dannyboy-the-Dane Posted December 14, 2008 Share Posted December 14, 2008 I'm not sure I'm the right guy to ask about love trouble. I can only talk from personal experience and give my views on the subject. I've recently been in a relationship that didn't work out because we were too different. I could feel deep inside that it didn't feel right, but it took some time for me to face it. I had fallen in love suddenly as we seemed perfect for each other in the beginning, but as I got to know her better I found out we were very different in some areas. I could feel how my feelings disappeared, but I really wanted to make it work and couldn't/didn't want to face the truth. She was he one who brought the subject up, as she could feel it too. We're both happy with the decision and remain friends. So, what have I learned? A couple of things: To me, personality is very important, if not THE most important thing in a relationship. It hugely affects my feelings for a girl how her personality fits with mine. Secondly, I learned that sudden falling-in-love can happen with no regards to personality, looks, or anything else for that matter. I would advice you to not move too fast, but I won't say you shouldn't follow your feelings - because that's the third thing I have learned: You have to feel inside if whatever you're doing feels right. It's very important to listen to your true feelings deep inside. I hope it works out for you, buddy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Noodleman Posted December 14, 2008 Share Posted December 14, 2008 But in all seriousness, something strange is happening to me. I'm think I'm falling for a girl that is the opposite of what I go after. She's not even my type of attractive. I can't seem to understand why I like her. But when ever I am with her I get a sensation of joy, And when I'm not with her I want to be. Welcome to my world (except I know why I like her), now add in the fact you aren't even in the same country as them and wont see them again for another 2 weeks, It's a total headfuck. However, it doesn't really bother me having different interests as someone I'm dating the odd overlap is fine. Some of the fun is introducing each other to your interests and vice-versa. Besides if you have the exact same interests you become one of those annoying couples that are never seen separately. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rummy Posted December 14, 2008 Share Posted December 14, 2008 Too similar, you might just grate on each other, too different, and, well, you'll be too different to get along? I think it's a bit of both, really. You need someone to complement your missing pieces and fill the gaps, but you need someone you can relate to. Something that, when together, is greater than the sum of its parts. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The fish Posted December 14, 2008 Share Posted December 14, 2008 I went out with an evangelist Christian for a while earlier this year, and I take it you've all been around long enough to know quite how opposite that is for me... Contrary to the predictions of my friends, the relationship ended for entirely different reasons. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Slaggis Posted December 14, 2008 Share Posted December 14, 2008 I read that first sentence and realised you are a total legend. Moving on, I don't think they do at all. I love someone that is really similar to me, and if I happen to think they're hot and vice a versa, then happy days. I can't see a longterm relationship happening if the two people aren't at least vaguely similar. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jayseven Posted December 15, 2008 Share Posted December 15, 2008 Contrary to what Roadkill said (yes, I saw it :P) her name is, and I shit you not, the same as your current girl. I shit you not. EDIT: This post is a response to ReZ, btw. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Falcon_BlizZACK Posted December 15, 2008 Share Posted December 15, 2008 Hmm... It could just be your standard expectations were a lil too high or narrow and after thinking practically (ie with your brain and not le cock - nothing personal) one starts to see anothers inner beauty. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ReZourceman Posted December 15, 2008 Share Posted December 15, 2008 Contrary to what Roadkill said (yes, I saw it :P) her name is, and I shit you not, the same as your current girl. I shit you not. EDIT: This post is a response to ReZ, btw. Heh. Massive lolz. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kirkatronics Posted December 15, 2008 Share Posted December 15, 2008 My girlfriend is the dead opposite of me. Shes not very talkative, with other people. She doesn't really have that many friends. Shes really sensetive. Gets upset easily. I love her loads =] I do think opposites attract. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rokhed00 Posted December 15, 2008 Share Posted December 15, 2008 I think a certain ammount of differences are necassary for a relationship to work in the long term. If you're both in to exactly the same things it gets boring, you need to have differing views to have something to talk about. What would I know though, I've only been in an 18 year long relationship with someone I have next to nothing in common with. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RoadKill Posted December 15, 2008 Share Posted December 15, 2008 Contrary to what Roadkill said (yes, I saw it :P) her name is, and I shit you not, the same as your current girl. I shit you not. EDIT: This post is a response to ReZ, btw. Good good, that's some ninja board skills right there Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fierce_LiNk Posted December 15, 2008 Share Posted December 15, 2008 Hmm, I don't know who I attract. Weirdos, probably. Actually, looking back through my track history, I've got a habit of finding the nice at first but mean ones. Do differences attract? A lot of the time, I'd say no. You look for that common ground, and I'd like to have someone who has the same interests as me. Music is a big plus, games, the ability to be nice to each other, and politeness. I think people need to be more appreciative, and I could never like or love anyone who didn't appreciate things. It's a huge turn off. Actually, I want to turn ViPeR/Joe into a woman and make love to that, haha. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dazzybee Posted December 15, 2008 Share Posted December 15, 2008 Bit of both, need a difference to educate and excite each other; but you need to be similar to engage, share and have fun!! I've had 4 long term relationships (about 2 years each) and there are certain qualities that are now a MUST - intelligence, must love films, great sense of humour, be ambitious and passionate; liking gaming is a HUGE plus For me, the similarities need to be more than the opposites; but I'm open to anything - I just want to be excited by someone!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DiemetriX Posted December 16, 2008 Author Share Posted December 16, 2008 The girl is amazing. And I'm seeing past the differences now. We do have a lot of common interests, so having a great time together is almost a certainty. The differences so far only makes me more mesmerized by her. I don't mind a Winter Girlfriend :p Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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