Mokong Posted August 24, 2008 Share Posted August 24, 2008 Subway Condoms - Have it Your Way, or Eat Fresh depending. Isn't "Have it your way" Burger King? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gaggle64 Posted August 24, 2008 Share Posted August 24, 2008 Huggies - Designed to stop leaks. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jimbob Posted August 25, 2008 Share Posted August 25, 2008 Isn't "Have it your way" Burger King? It is, sorry Ok next is Burger King Condoms - Have it Your Way Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
triforcemario Posted August 25, 2008 Share Posted August 25, 2008 NES condoms: Now you're playing with power! DS condoms: Touching is good. Yeah, I know, awful. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
david.dakota Posted August 25, 2008 Share Posted August 25, 2008 Dyson Condoms. No loss of suction. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EEVILMURRAY Posted August 25, 2008 Share Posted August 25, 2008 When trying to find the forward with most of these in, I came across another foward about BJ's, seeing it as semi appropriate I'm going to actually put it to some use. 9 always gets me. Blowjob Etiquette (by a female) 1. First and foremost, we are not obligated to do it. 2. Extension to rule #1 - So if you get one, be grateful. 3. I don't care WHAT they did in the porn video you saw, it is not standard practice to cum on someone's face. 4. Extension to rule #3 - No, I DON'T have to swallow. 5. My ears are NOT handles. 6. Extension to rule #5 - do not push on the top of my head. Last I heard, deep throat had been done. And additionally, do you really WANT puke on your dick? 7. I don't care HOW relaxed you get, it is NEVER OK to fart. 8. Having my period does not mean that it's "hummer week" - get it through your head - I'm bloated and I feel like shit so no, I don't feel particularly obligated to blow you just because YOU can't have sex right now. 9. Extension to #8 - "Blue Balls" might have worked on high school girls - if you're that desperate, go jerk off and leave me alone with my Midol. 10. If I have to pause to remove a pubic hair from my teeth, don't tell me I've just "wrecked it" for you. 11. Leaving me in bed while you go play video games immediately afterwards is highly inadvisable if you would like my behavior to be repeated in the future. 12. If you like how we do it, it's probably best not to speculate about the origins of our talent. Just enjoy the moment and be happy that we're good at it. See also rule #2 about gratitude. 13. No, it doesn't particularly taste good. And I don't care about the protein content. 14. No, I will NOT do it while you watch TV. 15. When you hear your friends complain about how they don't get blow jobs often enough, keep your mouth shut. It is inappropriate to either sympathize or brag. 16. Just because "it's awake" when you get up does not mean I have to "kiss it good morning." A Man's thoughts on Fellatio AKA Rebuttal Etiquette (by a male) 1. First of all, yes you're obligated to do it. If you don't, we will find someone (younger, prettier and dirtier) who will. 2. Second, swallowing a teaspoon full of cream is a hell of a lot easier than licking a dead fish. 3. You want to talk about farting? Does the word "queef" mean anything to you? 4. I will use your ears as I see fit. don't worry about it and be thankful I'm not pulling your hair. 5. When you're on your period, stuffing something in your mouth is the only way to stop you from bitching and moaning. Suck it up! 6. Speaking of which, if you are bleeding for five straight days, you need all the fluids you can get. Trust me. 7. You bitch about the taste, but trust me when I tell you that we get the short end of the stick in flavor country. 8. At least there is no danger of a dick bleeding in your mouth. 9. Play with the balls. 10. No matter how good you think you are at it, we've had better. 11. Caress the ass, too. We like that! 12. Make hay when the sun shines. It's "wide awake" in the morning now, but when you get old & fat and looking for some action, I gah-ron-tee it'll be "sound asleep." 13. If you swallow, then you don't have to worry about getting any on your face, now will you? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Beast Posted August 30, 2009 Share Posted August 30, 2009 Sorry for bringing this thread back to life but me and a few of my mates saw the Mikado advert and we laughed. Then for some random reason, I remembered their tagline and remembered this thread so... Mikado condoms- More than a little bit tempting. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nolan Posted August 30, 2009 Share Posted August 30, 2009 ReZourceman Condoms-The size will make you laugh. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
S.C.G Posted August 30, 2009 Share Posted August 30, 2009 George Foreman Condoms - 'I'm so proud of it, I put my name on it! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ganepark32 Posted August 30, 2009 Share Posted August 30, 2009 One I posted on the chat when the conversation turned round to this subject. Sainsbury's own brand condoms - 'Taste the difference' Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jimbob Posted August 30, 2009 Share Posted August 30, 2009 Phillips Condoms - Sense and Simplicity Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Goafer Posted August 30, 2009 Share Posted August 30, 2009 Haribo Condoms - Kids and grown ups love it so. Capital One Condoms - What's in your wallet? Metropolis Street Racer Condoms - It's not about how fast you screw, it's about how you screw fast. Sex Panther Condoms - 60% of the time, it works every time. Club Med Condoms - The antidote for civilization. Snickers Condoms - Get some nuts. Swine Flu Consoms - Catch it. Bin it. Kill it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Caris Posted August 30, 2009 Share Posted August 30, 2009 This thread is cringe worthy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jayseven Posted August 30, 2009 Share Posted August 30, 2009 Caris condoms: "This penis is cringeworthy" Am I doing this right? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Caris Posted August 30, 2009 Share Posted August 30, 2009 You're getting the hang of it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ReZourceman Posted August 30, 2009 Author Share Posted August 30, 2009 ReZourceman Condoms-The size will make you laugh. "As if that'll fit" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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