Aimless Posted July 8, 2008 Share Posted July 8, 2008 No thesis this time, just a question: do you feel lonely? I used to think I didn't, but perhaps I simply always have; in my heart and in my smile it's always there, hidden in plain sight. It's ironic, really. I'm not particularly capable but for as long as I can remember I've always done things on my own, tried to deal with things by myself. And failing miserably most of the time. You can chalk this up to whatever you like — childhood, place of birth, simply being anti-social — but as one of my favourite musicians put it, "there's a time when independence starts to look like loneliness." So, do you ever feel lonely? I don't really know any more. (Sorry if this is depressing; you can blame The Cinematic Orchestra — and the late hour, no doubt — for getting me thinking about it.) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fierce_LiNk Posted July 8, 2008 Share Posted July 8, 2008 Dude, you have no idea how funny this is right now...with your thread creation timing. Do I feel lonely? Yes. I can name a dozen times within the last year where I've wanted a particular person to be there and they've let me down. The highlight was when I went to watch the last football game of the season, and we won alright, but during the celebrating everyone had their mates or loved ones. And I just didn't have anything. I had been pestering people for weeks to come and see that with me, because I wanted the company and it would mean a lot, but nobody came. But, there have been other times where I've had amazing moments and I haven't been alone. Maybe a part of us will always have that solitude within. There's no perfect people, at least not anybody I've happened to meet. Its wrong to expect everyone to be there all the time. So, I take it. Maybe life is like an open road and we walk down it alone, fearless. I'm no longer scared of being alone. Because I have been for a long time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Olympic Gamer Posted July 8, 2008 Share Posted July 8, 2008 Hmm, I do have friends, but I still feel lonely, even when I've been out with them. Pretty much hardly any one share the same interests as me, hence why most of my day is spent looking at a computer screen these days, I've got a wide array of people to talk to over things like Instant Messenger programs etc. I'm not sure, bleh, you've got me thinking now, but I know weirdly that when I'm out with friends, I do have a great time, but at large social gatherings, I'm always pushed to the sides as I have nothing to talk about. Last party I went to saw me hiding away in my mates bedroom playing Xbox lol, thats how lonely it gets when you have hardly any with your interests. I'm not a big drinking either, so I usually skip on the largely drinking based meet ups now, sure I drink a bit now, but bleh, no fun in drinking with mates who drink for the sake of getting stupidly pissed and passing out, leaving you left out again because every one else is sick/passing out. Blah, I really hope I get into Uni, new friends which should hopefully have relevant interests to mine, and know how to drink properly without looking like a wanker. Jee, I'm depressed now. Better listen to some Yoshimi Battles the Pink Robots Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eenuh Posted July 8, 2008 Share Posted July 8, 2008 I feel like I have been alone all my life. I never really had any close friends or people to hang out with. And when I did, it would always end after a some time due to circumstances. I guess loneliness didn't really affect me much until a couple of years ago, when I left secondary school. Even though I had a boyfriend, the fact we could only mean twice a year meant I, ironically, felt even more lonely than when I had no one. And now that I'm single and without friends, I'm longing for some company that I apparently can't have because I'm too afraid of going out there and meeting new people. On the other hand I like being alone usually, do things my own way, at my own pace. I enjoy being alone in my room, listening to music and drawing or playing a videogame. But lately the loneliness has been taking over, resulting in me being more sad than content about spending time on my own. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aimless Posted July 8, 2008 Author Share Posted July 8, 2008 Well, this is going better than expected. I was all ready to delete the thread until I realised I, err, couldn't. Jee, I'm depressed now. Sorry, wasn't my intention. Watch my avatar a few times: it'll make you feel better. Dude, you have no idea how funny this is right now...with your thread creation timing. I've biten, give me one. On the other hand I like being alone usually, do things my own way, at my own pace. I enjoy being alone in my room, listening to music and drawing or playing a videogame. But lately the loneliness has been taking over, resulting in me being more sad than content about spending time on my own. I'm not sure if I'm at that last stage yet. Or maybe I've always been at that stage, I've just learned to live with it. I can't tell. Sorry, this has been a pretty rubbish response. There's something I want to say, but I've already failed at writing it down twice. I can't seem to get it down satisfactorily, like I'm trying to sketch a photo from memory using a blunt pencil. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paj! Posted July 8, 2008 Share Posted July 8, 2008 No. I value my own time, and I'm hardly swamped with a hectic social life (the opposite usually!), but my friends and I meet all the time. Plus I think I have one of the "best" families of many people I know, or at least I feel that way. I know I wouldn't want anyone elses. I'm lucky. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Iun Posted July 8, 2008 Share Posted July 8, 2008 On occasion, I get lonely. But that's only when the Manic Depression kicks in: normally I'm far happier in my own company than with a lot of other people. Those 3 or 4 times a year when things go haywire... then I need people around me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Daft Posted July 8, 2008 Share Posted July 8, 2008 Yeah, loneliness can get overwhelming but you've got to look at it in a positive light. I've probably posted this a hundred times, but I'd post it a hundred more if people actually understood and took something from it. "Every form of happiness is private. Our greatest memories are personal, self-motivated, not to be touched. The things which are sacred or precious to us are the things we withdraw from promiscuous sharing. " Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
somme Posted July 8, 2008 Share Posted July 8, 2008 No. I like my own space but have good friends for when I'm being social...which is most of the time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nightwolf Posted July 8, 2008 Share Posted July 8, 2008 I used to feel lonely constantly, but I think that was due to the constant bad friends I had, even when I went out with them I was left on my own and they had been the ones to invite me. More recently I've found friends that actually do want to hang out with me and care about me and I'm finding that I'm not so lonely anymore, I have my odd moments because somebody I used to care about alot for a number of years isn't in my life anymore. But things change. I do like my own space, alot actually. I've spent three days in the house now without being bothered too much. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RoadKill Posted July 8, 2008 Share Posted July 8, 2008 Yeah, sometimes. I live on my own. Sometimes it takes a moment of the exact opposite of loneliness (like the meetup) to make you realise how lame being alone can be Ah well Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dan_Dare Posted July 8, 2008 Share Posted July 8, 2008 I'm usually OK in my own company, but I can get trapped there, almost. It's always through my own apathy and boredom and I have alot of really good friends here in Sheffield. Main problem is that I'm so utterly sick of being single. Having someone changes me for the better in a big way, and I'm bored of not being that way. I miss it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
D_prOdigy Posted July 8, 2008 Share Posted July 8, 2008 I much prefer my own company. It's annoying that most of my friends don't really understand that, which results in me rarely being invited along to anything they do. Times like that, I do feel a little lonely. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Stefkov Posted July 8, 2008 Share Posted July 8, 2008 Blah, I really hope I get into Uni, new friends which should hopefully have relevant interests to mine, and know how to drink properly without looking like a wanker. I say I can't wait for this. The group of friends I had in college didn't have the same sort interests as me. Sure they played games but they weren't the people who you'd invite to play games all night. They're ones for drinking every weekend. At Uni, hopefully the guys doing the same course as me will have the same attitude towards games as I do otherwise it's gonna be wierd considering the course I'm on. I don't feel lonely. I just feel bored all the time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chris the great Posted July 8, 2008 Share Posted July 8, 2008 id say theres a great irony to my lonlyness, when there are people around (living a shared house with mates for example) i would get sick of hanging out with every one and basicly spending every night watching telly and movies with the same people. id want to just be alone, i could read, play video games or surf the net. yet when i was in the house alone, like when i came back early to do my research project, its sinfully boring being alone. its the same with women. sometimes i can lie awake just wishing i had some one there i could talk to or snuggle into, yet i despise sharing a bed room with any one, i cant sleep with outher people near by. that said, as long as i can alternate between being alone, and with friends, clear boudries for "me time", as long as theres a chance to chat but it isnt forced im fine. i think i just get people claustrophobic, as long as i can get away from them im fine still, late at night, unable to sleep it gets lonely, no matter how much i crave solitude. edit. a couple of you seem to be saying your hoping 2 meet people more into games then drinking at uni. i was the same, but i was the one who changed, i drank and socialised more, and gaming wasnt as important, unless it was social gaming. this started to shift back round over the past year, but gaming no longer takes over from chilling with mates. also, just forgot to say before, i can feel lonly when my mates talk about football. if im haniging out with them at night at some ones house, it typicaly lasts about 4-5 hours, and you can garentee an hour of that will be footy talk. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nightwolf Posted July 8, 2008 Share Posted July 8, 2008 Can I just point out that it's lonely, it's even in the title ^_^ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jayseven Posted July 8, 2008 Share Posted July 8, 2008 Man, of course I'm lonely. Nobody knows me, but then why the heck should I let people in that deep? it's not fair on them. I don't know. Everything's a coping method. I've got a few 'spark' friends but I don't see them all the time, or they're miles away or whatever. Blah blah. bad head. Think clearer. Would it be bad to say that often it feels like I exist to amuse/entertain others, and that's all they see me as? I guess it would be worse to atempt to self-analyse and label my own inner workings as anything resembling narcissism. i think loneliness is basically the inability to amuse oneself... Perhaps derived from being unhappy with yourself, maybe including the projection of blame onto everyone else? Hum. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dan_Dare Posted July 8, 2008 Share Posted July 8, 2008 why the heck should I let people in that deep?. that's what she said. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sheikah Posted July 8, 2008 Share Posted July 8, 2008 that's what she said. This is what these threads are about. Comic value. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dan_Dare Posted July 8, 2008 Share Posted July 8, 2008 Indeed. If you can't laugh about the crippling uncertainty and psychological isolation of loneliness and the dark heart of the human condition, what can you laugh about? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chris the great Posted July 8, 2008 Share Posted July 8, 2008 Indeed. If you can't laugh about the crippling uncertainty and psychological isolation of loneliness and the dark heart of the human condition, what can you laugh about? child poverty Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nightwolf Posted July 8, 2008 Share Posted July 8, 2008 Man, of course I'm lonely. Nobody knows me, but then why the heck should I let people in that deep? it's not fair on them. I don't know. Everything's a coping method. I've got a few 'spark' friends but I don't see them all the time, or they're miles away or whatever. Blah blah. bad head. Think clearer. Would it be bad to say that often it feels like I exist to amuse/entertain others, and that's all they see me as? I guess it would be worse to atempt to self-analyse and label my own inner workings as anything resembling narcissism. i think loneliness is basically the inability to amuse oneself... Perhaps derived from being unhappy with yourself, maybe including the projection of blame onto everyone else? Hum. You know what I've noticed about you? You think to much as much as sometimes it's a good thing and I'm being slightly hyporcitical there, there's no need to let a friend get in that deep to have a decent friend! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Daft Posted July 8, 2008 Share Posted July 8, 2008 "too much". Sorry, I'm in proof-reading mode at work and I proof-read everything out of habit... I was almost shouting at the Metro this morning. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Jordan Posted July 8, 2008 Share Posted July 8, 2008 You know what? Some of you people are seriously insecure. I mean, really bad. If you can't trust someone and let yourself be vunerable whilst being with them, god help you having a meaningful relationship. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Daft Posted July 8, 2008 Share Posted July 8, 2008 You know what? Some of you people are seriously insecure. I mean, really bad. If you can't trust someone and let yourself be vunerable whilst being with them, god help you having a meaningful relationship. Ho crap!! Someone call the obvious police! WE HAVE AN OFFENDER! I'm pretty sure everyone here knows that it isn't a particularly great thing, to feel like this. Typo on "vulnerable" as well. AAARGHH I just can't stop. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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