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Where Are You?


Fierce_LiNk

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I feel like I'm stuck in a car going along a long road, I'm not sure if I'm driving or not, but it feels like no one else is in the car and the doors are locked. If I look out of the windows I see lots of people everywhere doing things they want to and having fun, whilst I'm stuck in this car passing by. Sometimes it stops, and I see a few people and have some fun, but it seems to quickly pass and I'm in the car again back on my journey down this long road. I'm not even sure where it's headed, in the distance there are a few big hills that I can't see beyond, but the road winds round them and beyond. I can't see what's there, but I feel like it's going to be a good place, and I'm going to get where I'm going.

 

I saw everyone else with their metaphors, and that was what appeared in my mind when I thought about it. The reailty is as follows;

 

 

I'm coming up to the end of my 2nd year at uni, but I am living at home. Alot of my friends at uni live about the same distance away as me, but all in opposite directions, and so we don't go out much around there. All my friends I know from around here have all moved out to uni and stuff, so I find myself bored and stuck at home alot, when I'm the sort of person who loves going out. I tend to anticipate the holiday periods to see all my mates again and have a catchup, but it feels a bit like each time I see people, people seem to have drifted apart sort of thing, like they have better things to do than catch up(not just with me, so it isnt that people just hate me). It's sometimes annoying hearing about everyone's fantastic crazy uni stories too, whilst I'm here not having them.

 

I feel like I'm commited to the course, I'm pretty much 2/3rds of the way through it, so I want to see it through to the end. The problems I have are only short term when I look at it like that, next year I'll be much free-er, and people will be back around and stuff. Finished my course and getting a degree, that's the bit where I read the hills, and start turning the corners to see what lies beyond. I'm single too, but that's not bothering me, I think about it sometimes and how nice it'd be to have someone but then think it's no big deal right at the moment in my life. I'm also still slightly, and irrationally, hung up on an old school boy crush.

 

Despite all that, I'm fairly happy with what I have and who I am(the comfort of knowing how much money I'm saving consoles me too!), I try not to focus too much on the negative things, and I know it's not like everyone hates me or I don't have friends, it's just they're all a way away. I know this is only a temporary and short term situation, that'll be completely turned on its head in a year from now. Only problem I think I do have, is that I have absolutely no clue what I wanna do with my degree, or how easily I could get the sort of job I'd like with it.

 

(didnt realise I wrote quite so much)

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I am a middle aged man trapped in a 19-year olds body. Puberty still appears to be striking, but it's on its last legs. I'd say i'm pretty introverted, but alcohol usually sorts that out. I have no source of income. I seem to be fairly good at making films as people seem to like them, but I find the things i've made so far a bit dull. I have a made a lot of music, which a few people also seemed to like and I would probably agree. I will be starting University this year and things could go anywhere from then.

 

Essentially I need to grow up, but I'm probably far too afraid. We'll see what happens when I have to be responsible. I'll probably become incredibly dull and talk about metaphysics even more than I do now.

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I'm sort of drifting along at the moment not really knowing what the hell I'm doing. I've got a job thats fairly boring, and don't have tons of mates, I don't have a girlfriend and I can't see a time of oving out of my parents house.

 

I'm mostly bothered that everything wrong in my life could be fixed if I just put myself out there and took a risk, but I'm all too aware of absolutely fucking everything from living in my head so much, that I'm too scared to do anything. Damn introverted-ness.

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Currently..just drifting I guess. I'm not really happy, but not really unhappy.

 

My health isn't great at the mo, i've got pretty severe arthritis. In a job, that pays well, about 6.43 an hour, working in a call centre. And studying at night.

 

Could be worse :)

 

EDIT : I think I'm similar to the poster above me, too scared to reach out and take a risk.

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It's like with my job, it's boring and I'm just a bit sick of it. But it's comfortable doing something I know I don't hate, with people I like. If I go somewhere else I might hate it, and it might be worse than what I have right now...

 

Meh, I dunno.

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I'm at my parents, under the stairs where the computer is kept. I'm a bit torn. I like to consider Sheffield my 'home', my friends are there, my life is there, my freedom and fun is there. At the same time moving out is a little strange, and I still have a bedroom here. If I say "I'm going home" or "It's at home", referring to Sheffield, to my Mother, I can see that she looks a little sad.

 

I enjoy being with my friends, I have some hobbies like anime, music and working out - I like my life although spending a bit more time with girls would be nice... (my nights with friends tend to be 90% "sausage fests" and my best mate is in a long term relationship so he doesn't care). I study English and have pipe-dreams of bylines and bestsellers.

 

So where am I? Just another University student letting life pass by, trying not to think about how damn fast its going.

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where am i? hmm at the moment im at my boyfriends on his computer

 

bout to do my a-levels this year and hopefully go to a university where none of my friends are going to... my bf goes to this uni but hes meant to be on his placement year next year which means he wont be there when i go - bit nervous about that!

 

im in a vey happy relationship and feel more in love with my boyfriend everytime i see him! makes me all warm inside :heart: *meh* lol...

 

im in a happy place

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It's like with my job, it's boring and I'm just a bit sick of it. But it's comfortable doing something I know I don't hate, with people I like. If I go somewhere else I might hate it, and it might be worse than what I have right now...

 

Meh, I dunno.

 

Couldn't you maybe take some unpaid leave? Or just up and change, and hope if everything goes wrong that they might take you back on the job? What is it you do? I think alot of people have too many reasons why they can't do things they really want to do. Admittedly at the moment, I say I can't do anything because I have uni, but I really do have uni! I like to think that when I'm done with uni that I'll wake up one day and just leave the country, and see where things take me until I come back(assuming I will!). It's a distant dream, I'd like to just travel, just be moving around care free, but I'm not dissatisfied with this life I have. I like it here when friends are around, and I can get by when they aren't. It'd be really cool if I could go on some crazy adventure with someone I know though!

As for you, what's really stopping you? Sometimes you've gotta just take that leap of faith.

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I think sometimes I'm a little too mature for my age, I'm only 19, and I should be living it up. Yet I don't go out most week nights because of University the next day, and I don't really enjoy pointless drinking. (Note - I do enjoy a goo drinking session). As a person though, I think I've come good. I don't get into trouble, I'm polite, caring, generous, hardworking, clever (at times) etc.

 

The only thing lacking in my life would probably be a relationship with a girl, embarassing realyl that I've not had a girlfriend. I always get friend zoned or miss my oppotunities which are few and far between.

 

Don't mean to highlight the last paragraph again :wink: , but what you have said here is basically where I am, I so wish I had a lass, I'm just too bloody shy around the ladys to go for it when the opportunity arises. It will all work out though i am sure of it, everything usually does for me, but it usually happens at the latest possible time..... which is pretty fucking annoying at times.

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I'm working in a pretty boring job, but for a company that treats its employees well and with some great co-workers. I'm only going it to get some job experiance and to save up some money to go travelling. I'm aiming to spend a year traveling, leaving next September. Want to make sure I have saved up enough cash to do everything I want to (which is alot). I think i'll probably end up going alone as well but this doesnt actualy scare me. Then after that i'll look for a decent job far away from this shithole town possibly not even in this country.

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Well I've got 4 days left of school (not including coming in for 3 exams) in my whole life! If I get the grades I need (3 Bs I'm going to study Business at Strathclyde, but only if I can get into halls there which is looking unlikely because I'm within the 25 mile radius). If I don't get the grades, I've already got a place at Napier.

 

In the shorter future, this is looking to be the best summer yet. My 18th at the end of May, then 2 of my friends in June. Malawi for 3 weeks in June. Then 2 1/2 months of pure partying (and hopefully a lot of working too)!

 

Girl wise... Meh. I was seeing someone a few months ago but nothing came off that. Not really sure what I want to do with the girl I'm liking at the moment, we pulled last Friday but I get the feeling that she regrets it (she told her friends she couldn't remember it) and we haven't actually spoken since.

 

Anyway, life goes on, opportunities shall arise.

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Trying to find some purpose, some reason to be enthusiastic about, well, anything, but it's really not happening. I get good grades, I just don't know what to do with them. I leave school this year, and I've no idea what I want to do.

 

Not had the heart to go for a girl since my ex.

 

I'm basically a lethargic fuck.

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I feel like I'm nearing a point of change. I'm 17 and I have a quiet teenage life that would be far less quiet if I wouldn't be living with my parents. Next year I'll live by myself and I think the freedom I'll get will allow me to grow up in a broader sense.

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Dead. As I kind of like it. I'm too emotionally fucked up and untrusting to really be in a relationship. Casual hookups are my way.

 

 

Starting to bore (well annoy) me. It was great until I joint the managerial side then all it is is people moaning about stuff largely beyond my control. Made some great friends there though.

 

 

Dick and Beaver live up to their names still. Parents are okay but my dad is distant and my mom is too overbearing.

 

 

Most of them bore me. They're more friends because they've done nothing wrong that I would stop being friends. Once I leave I will keep in touch but gradually lose touch. They've all gotten old, even the ones who are younger than me. They're talking about marriage and kids and stuff and thats great for them but I am still young. People at uni are much better.

 

 

Wish I had lived on campus in the first year, although I practically do now anyway. Love it. Just not the work (which I should be doing and instead did this to procrastinate)

 

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;431150]
Dead. As I kind of like it. I'm too emotionally fucked up and untrusting to really be in a relationship. Casual hookups are my way.

 

 

Starting to bore (well annoy) me. It was great until I joint the managerial side then all it is is people moaning about stuff largely beyond my control. Made some great friends there though.

 

 

Dick and Beaver live up to their names still. Parents are okay but my dad is distant and my mom is too overbearing.

 

 

Most of them bore me. They're more friends because they've done nothing wrong that I would stop being friends. Once I leave I will keep in touch but gradually lose touch. They've all gotten old' date=' even the ones who are younger than me. They're talking about marriage and kids and stuff and thats great for them but I am still young. People at uni are much better.

 

 

Wish I had lived on campus in the first year, although I practically do now anyway. Love it. Just not the work (which I should be doing and instead did this to procrastinate)

Wow, that's bitter.

 

(I advise a dose of Welcome to the NHK)

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Wow, that's bitter.

 

(I advise a dose of Welcome to the NHK)

 

NHK?

 

Im not bitter, honest. Although looking at my reply I can see how you said that. Im actually quite good, but I suppose thats because I am looking forward to when I leave which will improve work (as I'll be leaving), friends (again because I'll be leaving most of them behind), family (because I won't see them for four months) and aiming to score some casuals.

 

I suppose im in a state of transition which is going to be a hellish few months (working like a bitch) for the deferred gratification.

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