Posted January 12, 2007 You can't. I've seen people try, and it really doesn't work out I'm afraid. The only thing to really do is to let it go, and see if you can be friends again some other time. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted January 12, 2007 It sounds stupid, but she's still the person I love. I really do love her, but its the whole trust issue. How can you trust someone who does this? Dude we know. But you couldnt get it back to where it was, everything would always be in the back of your mind. Even when you think you've got it back, you'll always remember. Stay away from her for atleast the weekend and then take stalk after some time to reflect. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted January 12, 2007 Shit, that's terrible, especially after all that time. Just don't do anything you'll regret, I know you've had a rough time recently, but be careful. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted January 12, 2007 It sounds stupid, but she's still the person I love. I really do love her, but its the whole trust issue. How can you trust someone who does this? And its not like she did it once. It was 3 times, plus the texting back and forth. If it was once then maybe it would be forgivable, but it wasn't. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted January 12, 2007 It sounds stupid, but she's still the person I love. I really do love her, but its the whole trust issue. How can you trust someone who does this? I'm talking from experience mate it's time to move on you possibly could get back together but there would always be doubts - it's not worth the grief. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted January 12, 2007 It's compeltely dependant on the people, i've seen countless people try and fail by giving it ago, on the flip side i've seen people who have tried again and never been happier. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted January 12, 2007 I'd say move away from it all, it might not seem possible at first or even appealing but it'll be for the best. Ditch her for good and try not to think about him. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted January 12, 2007 I have no idea what you should do. But look at all the people on here that care about you. (Even if it is just an internet forum!) Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted January 12, 2007 I have no idea what you should do. But look at all the people on here that care about you. (Even if it is just an internet forum!) Yeah, thanks for all your support, guys. I dunno why she's done it. I pestered her for an answer and she kept saying "i dunno" over and over and over. I shouted at her and asked if it was like the whole excitement of it all, and she said yes. I asked her why didnt she stop and she said she didnt know. I really don't know what to do. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted January 12, 2007 ..personally, I have trouble enough trusting people without anything like that happening.. ..you obviously love her, but it would never be the same.. that was truly horrible Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted January 12, 2007 I know you love her, but knowing what she did (and this might sound callous), she probably doesn't love you. It's totally not worth it that way, you're going to give and give and get nothing in return. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted January 12, 2007 My friend is now here at the door. Got to go and speak with her. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted January 12, 2007 Yeah, thanks for all your support, guys. I dunno why she's done it. I pestered her for an answer and she kept saying "i dunno" over and over and over. I shouted at her and asked if it was like the whole excitement of it all, and she said yes. I asked her why didnt she stop and she said she didnt know. I really don't know what to do. I'm gonna be honest here Fierce but from the sound of it she may not love you anymore. So there may be no chance in you two getting back together. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted January 12, 2007 Flinks, if this was any old break up I'd urge you to try and reconcile, but it's a line she's crossed that would make practically any relationship unsalvageable. Even if you could somehow forgive her, which honestly I don't think she deserves, you'd find it hard to stop thinking about. Even a year down the line the smallest suspicious action could bring up bad memories, the trust is truly gone. I feel for you man, and you deserve better - you're a top guy, as Odwin says just look at the support from the guys here! I hope you move on from this and remember happy days will come again I went through a bad break up from a relationship clocking in over two years not long ago, but things are back on track for me - same thing will happen to you. Although you might have a thing against all women for a while if you're like me women suck Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted January 12, 2007 It is essential you stop seeing her, there is no relationship from here. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted January 12, 2007 Jesus, reading that made me feel really hollow. You're too nice a guy to have this happen! I'm not going to give any long-term relationship advice; those choices are for you, not my ill-informed opinion. However, I do think that for the moment you simply shouldn't do anything, just try and abosrb what has happened and what it means. I'm not saying that's an easy thing to do — it isn't — but for the right decision to be made it has to happen. Take as long as you need to sort things out in your own head. That's the very least you deserve. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted January 12, 2007 Man,I'm really sorry about this Flinky.You really don't deserve this happening to you. I don't know what to say but like others have said do anything to rash and ask some of your friends for advice and help. I really hope you get your head straight and I really hope something good comes out of this. You really didn't deserve this. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted January 12, 2007 This is horrible - from what I've seen you're a really nice guy and I enjoy reading your comments on the forum. Following what happened with your brother...this is the last thing you need. I hope you can sort something out for yourself soon, and I hope that whatever you do you end up happy. Take care. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted January 12, 2007 Sorry to hear about this mate. I can't imagine the stuff you're having t go through at this moment in time. Normal breakups were hard for me so this must be torture for you I guess what you do know is upto you. As you say, you love her - and if you think you can make it work then that's an idea. Like I said though - we can't make the descision for you. Its horrible for it to happen to such a nice guy. We're all here to support you and I hope you'll be ok (whatever you choose) in time. Chin up, speak to you on MSN soon Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted January 12, 2007 That's weak sauce. There's a bunch of cliches I could go into here but I won't. Chin up. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted January 12, 2007 Oh no Flinky!!! poor guy, I feel for you mate. That is horrible and the thing is; yes you shouldnt need to look at her phone as you both should have trust in each other but what if you didnt? would she have kept seeing this chris behind your back? It is a good thing you have found all this out before it gets even worse. After 3 years aswell, damn. Listen to the old, wise and bald Plattman... It's time to move on. Yes you could get back together and she will probably promise to never do anything like this ever again. But the worry will always be there and your relationship is never gonna be what it once was. You're still very young. It hurts now but will heal over time. However I can't tell you what to do and can only give my opinion on the situation that you have told us. If you think the relationship is worth saving then go for it but if it was me, even after 3 years together I wouldnt be able to stay with her after that. MSN me up whenever you need to flinkymon. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted January 12, 2007 fuck. what a cow. i can never understand people who cheat in relationships, you either want to be with who your with or you don't. i don't think i could find it in me to get back with this person no matter how much i loved them, if she had told you after the first drunken incident then i don't think you would've reacted like this, least she would've been honest. but nooooo she's gotta lie and go behind your back. fucking cow. you need to chill out, she should give you some space so you can think about things and find out how you really feel after all the shock and stuff. i really feel for you dude and good luck! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted January 12, 2007 You'd probably feel rather betrayed, disgusted and contaminated? Whats happened has happened. Its bad when you have a particularly strong connection with the person though... To just penetrate another guy is inexcusable. You can always take proactive measures to ensure that doesn't happen. No need to consume the liver damaging substance in the first place. Toss her aside and move on. You learn from these life experiences and become a stronger person as a result. Also don't confront the other guy anymore and stoop to his level, you are only fuelling him up and giving him satifaction, you are conceding defeat that way. Let her go, let her choose her path of life, but just let her know, theres no going back, what happens from here on end, is what happens, she must suffer the consequences of her actions that were avoidable. By doing this, its your final gift to her, you are giving her wisdom... Make her learn from her mistakes. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted January 12, 2007 I'm afraid due to human nature. Should someone hurt you once, they are very likely to do it again. The fact she had sex with this chris guy while sober, makes me think she doesn't respect you or your feelings. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
