Posted January 15, 2007 Ah man that litereally nearly made me cry the way you handled that msn convo. You truly are the better man Jim. Im so sorry this happened if it happened to me I would be horribly fucked up. Lifes complex (that doesnt excuse what she did though she is definatly in the wrong) and I think you should stay with her. This once a cheater always a cheater is rubbish. Give her time to come to you and talk again. What a rough couple of months for you. Hope you have a great time tonight you deserve it. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted January 15, 2007 True, but by reasoning, if she were to cheat and get back with you because you tried so hard to get her back, it wouldn't mean she cared as much as if you were giving the cold shoulder and she came and showed you she'd changed. But you're right, there's no excuse for any type of cheating. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted January 15, 2007 I'm not sure if I believer all this "once a cheater" stuff either, Haden. At the end of the day, it depends on the person and what they're like really. Still, I'm gonna do what Jav says. Just gonna back off for a while and gonna cheer myself up tonight. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted January 15, 2007 Possibly in this one a bit late in the day, but I understand what you are saying....The same thing happened to me after a 14 year relationship and it messed me up good. At this stage the best thing I can suggest is put some distance on the relationship, sounds harsh, but if its meant to be things will sort themselves out and you will end up back together (if its all as clear cut as you make out, she should be the one grovelling for the relationship back) or you will end up seeing things from a clearer perspective and moving on and bettering yourself. It doesnt always have to end up as bad as you may be viewing it now. My situation now is miles better than it was pretty g/f who is 12 years younger than myself who shows she cares....Meanwhile my ex is in a stinking council flat begging to get out. I admit I am still recovering from what she did though, it left me a pretty deep mental scar. Its difficult, but chin up and have some fun as suggested. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted January 16, 2007 It does sound like Becky has some serious self-esteem issues, but doesnt make it okay what she has done, she still knows the difference between right and wrong. I hope she can sort out her issues with self-esteem, as it seems quite destructive for her. It's not an easy thing to sort out though, i imagine with that level it'll have some basis in childhood. Unfortunetly most people have issues with self-esteem, just some are really great at hiding it and it only gets shown when you really get to know them. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted January 16, 2007 Cheers, dudes in red. (thats pretty much a lie, I couldn't pull if I tried, d'oh) Dude, don't say stuff like that! I used to think that about myself, then about 3 months ago I split up with my longterm gf and last week I pulled, goat in! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted January 16, 2007 Dude, don't say stuff like that! I used to think that about myself, then about 3 months ago I split up with my longterm gf and last week I pulled, goat in! lol, you didnt pull a goat did you? :p Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted January 17, 2007 after reading that msn chat, i felt embarassed for u buddie... this c*** was being smug at the completely wrong moment - hit him!!! trust me, hes worth going to court for... And lose out on his future career? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted January 17, 2007 Well, the birthday has come and gone, and not much has changed really. She's moved into the spare bedroom and has been putting posters and stuff up. Now I'm a bit worried that she'll just get too comfortable being friends and there won't even be a chance we'll get back together. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted January 17, 2007 Well, the birthday has come and gone, and not much has changed really. She's moved into the spare bedroom and has been putting posters and stuff up. Now I'm a bit worried that she'll just get too comfortable being friends and there won't even be a chance we'll get back together. What is it that you want? Do you want you to get back together? A similar thing happened with some people in my year. A guy (called Alex) was going out with this girl called Jo. They'd been going out for 3-4 months and was seriously in love with her, but then everyone in the year had learnt that she had cheated on him with this other guy (infact, she lost her virginity to him). What made it harder for him is that he didnt find out from her telling him, as he was one of the last people to find out.. They're still going out now though, and it seems everything is fine. Looks like she learnt her lesson. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted January 17, 2007 My friend was going out with a girl and she got fingered by somebody else and wanked him off. She denied it to him even though she admitted it to her friends. He fooled himself into think it didn't happen. But after that she was always kissing other guys and doing the same with other people. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted January 17, 2007 Well, the birthday has come and gone, and not much has changed really. She's moved into the spare bedroom and has been putting posters and stuff up. Now I'm a bit worried that she'll just get too comfortable being friends and there won't even be a chance we'll get back together. Sounds to me like you want to get back together. If you do, then by all means fight for it, but I think that's a silly thing to do if you ask me. What I think doesn't matter though, its all down to you. Things could be great if you got back together, but I feel like it'll just make you a doormat, and something similar could probably happen again, because she'll think theres some security in you. Goron asked an important question, what do you want? You need to consider that and answer it truthfully before you decide on what you're gonna do. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted January 17, 2007 I do want us to get back together and to give it another go. I love her very much, and I'm backing off to give us both space. The way things are going, it looks like she's content with the single life, but I'm just waiting for her to bring up the situation with us again. I'm waiting for her to show me that she wants us to get back together, and I just fear that it won't happen. But at the same time, I don't want to say anything first cos that'll make it seem like I'm the only one who wants it to work. Women really piss me off sometimes. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted January 17, 2007 My friend was going out with a girl and she got fingered by somebody else and wanked him off. She denied it to him even though she admitted it to her friends. He fooled himself into think it didn't happen. But after that she was always kissing other guys and doing the same with other people. There's a beauty to your writing that I'm at a loss to describe. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted January 17, 2007 Yeah, I didn't know what to say to that either. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted January 17, 2007 I would've gone on MSN and gone nuts at him, you handled that very, very well. Also, how old is that guy and wy duz he spk lyk dis? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted January 17, 2007 My friend was going out with a girl and she got fingered by somebody else and wanked him off. She denied it to him even though she admitted it to her friends. He fooled himself into think it didn't happen. But after that she was always kissing other guys and doing the same with other people. There's a beauty to your writing that I'm at a loss to describe. LMFAO....Cheers, those two posts have brightened up my day no end. Total Quality. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted January 17, 2007 There's a beauty to your writing that I'm at a loss to describe. What's that supposed to mean? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted January 17, 2007 What's that supposed to mean? He just means when you said fingered and wanked off. A bit too informative, haha. He didn't mean anything else by it. Retro: Cheers. He's either the same age as me, or is a year younger. Not sure exactly. He still types like a tit, though. There's no denying that. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted January 17, 2007 He just means when you said fingered and wanked off. A bit too informative, haha. He didn't mean anything else by it. Oh ok. I did try and think of a nicer way of putting it but I couldn't so I just put that. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted January 17, 2007 Original: My friend was going out with a girl and she got fingered by somebody else and wanked him off. She denied it to him even though she admitted it to her friends. He fooled himself into think it didn't happen. But after that she was always kissing other guys and doing the same with other people. Nicer way: My friend was going out with a girl and she got pleasured digitally by somebody else and returned the favour by using her own hands, but this time envoking the use of not only her digits, but her palm too. She denied it to him even though she admitted it to her friends. He fooled himself into think it didn't happen. But after that she was always kissing other guys and doing the same with other people. You're welcome Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted January 17, 2007 Pleasured digitally? Hahahahaha. Ahh, that has cheered me up a bit. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted January 17, 2007 Oh dear, morals, morals. :P Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted January 18, 2007 Yep....Im goin' to hell just for reading that. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted March 4, 2007 Well, I thought this need an update, just to tell you all how things were going, what's been happening, etc. It's been nearly two months since all this happened. We're still living together, which has enabled us to talk about what we both want, where we stand, if there's any chance to resolve things, etc. We decided that some things have to change, and that we needed time to get both our heads sorted. Around the valentines day area, I got talking to other girls, but nothing ever happened. I thought it might be best for a while if I played the field for a bit, I dunno, I'm not very good at that sorta thing, plus I'm always in the friend zone (goddamn that Friend Zone! damn it to hell). There have been moments where we have argued or I have been angry thinking about the whole thing, and I haven't been proud about how I've acted or what I've said. I didn't have the heart to tell some of my friends and it was only about last 2 weeks ago that I told them. I've felt a bit neglected about how some of my friends have treated me at home about the whole thing. I don't think I've had the support or guidance that I really needed, and I sent them all quite a nasty and extremely frank email about how I was feeling, and yeah...they kinda got talking then! Again, I'm not proud about what I said or did in that respect, but sometimes things just need to be sorted in a way that isnt nice. I understand that, you can't always act like a nice person because life isn't always all that nice. If you've got to act like a bastard to get things done, then it has to be that way. Over the last few weeks, Becky has decided that she doesn't want to be the way she currently is either, and I think she really does know she's screwed up really badly. She's got quite a lot of issues, some to do with the past (including to do with friends, which I let them know in that email) and she's generally quite screwed up. We got talking and I suggested maybe she should get some kind of help. Honestly, I thought "she's talking, but she won't act. I dunno if she'll 'change'." But, to my surprise, she has contacted the student councillor and arranged a session. She got placed on a waiting list, but actually went to her first session on Friday. It was like an introductory session, but apparantly it helped quite a lot. I don't think she's really talked about all the shit that's going on in her head to anybody else in great detail other than me, so it really helped a lot. The councillor agreed it would help and stuff, so they're meeting again next week. So yeah, that's about it really. She is trying, but we're currently not still together. Even if we don't get back together, I'm glad that she's realised that she does have problems that need sorting out. At least something has come of it, I guess. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
