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That scene at the bottom there looks incredibly fake while in motion. This doesn't seem like a good movie, appears a little bit sort of... early nineties origin story.

Oh, this thread is so trolled.

...I always feel like I joined the wrong Church... there was little-to-no fucking among the congregation. What denomination were they?

I have NEVER seen the appeal of Halo. Never. I got an Xbox from the GAME I was working at and my colleagues were all insisting I get Halo. I turned it on, really looking forward to a mindblowing experience...and nothing. A dull, plodding shooter that moved clumsily from set-piece to set-piece was all I got. Mario 64 just left me cold. In fact, truth be told, I've never actually been much of a Mario platformer fan at all. The only one I really got on with was Sunshine, which everyone else disliked. Even Galazy was just so unflinchingly bland. The humour is so simplistic and the story is infinite varieties of "meh". Not true of the Paper Mario games, which were comic genius. KOTOR was ten different kinds of dull for me - loved Star Wars but it was incredibly fixed in the direction you could take from the beginning. Alright so you could choose to be good or bad, but if you didn't take the robot fixin' or door hackin' skills from the beginning then you were playing a game that was half-locked to you. And the endless dialogue trees hardly encouraged repeat plays.

Did he say "I've decided to resign: all this pressure has made me realise it's time to walk like an Egyptian."?

I tell you who would attend my dinner party: a bunch of sorry ingrate Chinese people who don't know their ass from their elbow but see fit to lecture me on the number of dishes, variety of flavours and quality of wine I present to them after five hours in the kitchen. Bastards. You do know one of those was papier mache?

I think she specifically mentioned she *didn't* want to come.

Alright, alright, calm down...

I was with you all the way up to "reputable company like Microsoft" and then I kinda spaced out... Still love you, though.

She's got great big honking norks.

Exercise is good, or masturb... oh wait, no, that's not allowed. If you're having a panicky moment, get someone to put their thumb up your bottom. Basically it snaps you out of the panic and gives your feelings of restlessness something to focus on.

Let's be honest here: you can only be "penalised" if you feel the need to be the centre of attention. I missed about four months last year, and here I am, dropping snide comments into other people's threads again, like I never left!

...goodness, that picture has pretty much sucked all the cheerful right out of me... I was going to wish Ashley a happy birthday but I think I'll just crawl into bed with a bottle of absinthe instead...

Ouch, guys. Ouch.

If you could be in any man... *cough*

Crystal Maze was the tits. I also enjoyed Scavengers, y'know, before John Leslie got his rape on and became a TV pariah. There was even a Crystal Maze "Choose Your Own Adventure" book, but I can't find a picture of it. It was also the tits.

Just stuff it up your Mersey, yeah? We wish you well of him.

"To The Lighthouse" Episode of the CRIMINALLY CANCELLED Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles. That Charlie would fight so hard and still stand by John even though Sarah abandoned him is really moving, and the performance by the actor playing Charlie was very involving for me.

I don't believe it, first Ashley sacks Hughton and then we sell Carroll. What the fuck. The guy just signed a new contract.

I still, desperately, want to slip one in Cheetarah.

Well this is obviously shocking and it's different to remain cool headed in a debate like this that has so many divisive factors. One might argue that an 11 year old has little concept of life and death, that there is a permanence to pulling the trigger. You could say that he has been hunting birds and that in doing so he has seen the things as replaceable - there's alway more birds, right? The flip side is that any child who has a gun must have been taught that when you aim and pull the trigger, that whatever you hit is not coming back, ever. There may be a deer, a wolf or a bluejay just like it, but the life you took will never come back. The question is: did he know what he was doing? If yes, then string him up by the highest branch you can find. If not, put him in a secure unit and help the kid, because he's going to need a shit load of psychological help over the next few years.

I loved Red Dwarf Back in the day - this was before they had all been released on VHS even. I used to badger my grandparents and parents to record every episode for me. Then they came out on tape and I was over the moon. But to be honest... It's been nearly 18 years since Series 6 came out. That for me was the end. Series 7 was unremitting rubbish and Series 8 was marginally better. I didn't see the new episodes. I'd rather just leave things as they were.

No. No. No. No. No. No.

Getting older huh? Well, just suck it up. Happy Birthday!