Iun

Oh, everyone in China went mad over this - the pictures were banned on the internet, he had to apologise, some of the women involved tried to commit suicide. It ruined several mediocre careers. The hilarious thing was, all the news reports were "Edison Chen, Hollywood Star".... ...he had an uncredited non speaking role as an extra in The Dark Knight. He is not a Hollywood Star. By that logic, I'm one of Nintendo's top developers due to my uncredited role as a Beta tester for the DS.

Infinity Blade for 3 dollars? I MUST be in Heaven! And do you know what? There are NO French people here. I can't imagine how it could get an better...

Thank you. This is all part of my master plan to rid the world of Coca Cola: Get sick, pee brown coke-substitute, secretly fill barrels in bars around the world with Magic Pee, coke goes out of business. Pepsi takes over. Suddenly, no-one's laughing at me for all the shares in PepsiCo I bought! You think you got it bad? I gots me a fine 25 year-old Chivas in the cupboard, as well as a Remy Marten Cognac which are BOTH GOING TO HORRIBLE WASTE. On the flip side I have plenty of, *ahem* coke to mix it with.

Thanks for asking, same as before really... ...I kinda feel like going to the bar downstairs, jumping up and down on a stool shouting "I AM THE MAGIC COKE MACHINE!" That'd be my ideal way of coping.

Poor thing, hobbling hurts! Shame we didn't get Raptured huh?

You don't have a penis?

Is that anything like an apocalypse in the sun? Those things are mad, yo. But yeah, if it's just an apacolypse or hell, even an alpacalypse, that's fine too. Though while well need so many shaggy beasts of burden at the end of the world is beyond me...

Why would you want to donate homosexuality? Is it the gift that keeps on giving?

That was the tits. Or the balls. Whichever is appropriate for a Takei man like Mr Takei.

I've got be careful and make a very clear point here. I'll start by stating this: I'm not an anti-Semite. However, I agree with what the man said about the state of Israel: they have turned their land of milk and honey into an arrogant bully-boy. However, the Arabs have been equally nasty-minded and undiplomatic in their approach. The state of Israel is a FACT. The Arabs need to accept that. On the other hand, the Israelis need to accept that theirs is not the right to bulldoze the lives of others to make up for several centuries of undeserved persecution.

I've always thought of the Queen as more of a person like you, me or anyone else around here. ...admittedly we don't have too many 80-year-old Germans posting on the forum, but you know what I mean.

I was looking online to see if anyone invented Extremis yet, but sadly no such luck. Thank you everyone, I appreciate all your well wishes, I really do.

Yeah, I noticed, you seem awfully thankful for me... Maybe I should have married you instead of this wretched harridan, I mean, the lovely Mrs Iun.

It's been ten years since, at the tender age of 18, I was cleared of testicular cancer after undergoing some extremely painful operations and a year of experimental medicines. Tonight, I noticed for the first time that I had lost about 3 kilos in a week, and then I started peeing blood. The signs aren't good, I don't think I've got another round of fighting-for-life in me.

Well, it's been two weeks since Osama Bin Laden was shot at close range, repeatedly raped by goats and forced to drink diarrea, and the world is still glad he's dead.

You can have Sol Campbell back if you like! Good win for the Toon yesterday, as usual we nearly self-destructed after getting it in the bag, but three points are three points.

Haps, young lady, haps.

And tin mines that consistently fail their safety inspections.

And if your mother was your father's brother she'd be... Well, weird. What an enormous load ofold bollocks to pull out: "oh, if half the people who voted no voted yes and no one else voted we would have won!" Go cry into your Fairtrade coffee.

Look, just go away, you're obviously mental.

The South Park movie was utter genius, and actually a very good musical to boot. I have some of the sound track and I play it while baking, the other day I was in the kitchen up to my elbows in flour and Uncle F*cka came on... I was all "Eek! Sorry!" ... ...but then I realised they're Chinese and didn't understand, they just stood there smiling, so I started singing at the top of my voice while they just stood there grinning. ...then Mrs Iun - who DOES understand, came in and yelled at me.

Generally speaking, South Park is great. Two episodes stand out as horking shite though: ManBearPig and the one with Britney Spears half-blown off head. I get about two minutes into those episodes and I just unconsciously skip to the next episode, I don't know why. This one time I tried REALLY HARD to watch ManBearPig, but at the ten minute mark I just got a book and stopped paying attention.

God dammit, I'll get the exorcism kit, seems we've got another soulless demon inhabiting the body of a forum member. Hold him down would you, Dan. Happenstance, you start splashing the Holy Water...

If there's two things that we knew for a FACT about Osama Bin Laden: (1) He needed a drop of Dutch courage before making an inflammatory anti-West Video (2) He loved the pussy.

I would have gotten away with it if it hadn't been for you meddling lefties!