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....mmm.... No. Me thinks with liberally applied date rape drugs, I can have you out of the restaurant before you've even finished a breadstick. Net cost to me: two taxi rides.

I'll have you.

It seemed like a completely reasonable argument to me. Alright, it was put rather offensively, but pretty much everything he said was fairly accurate.

Excellent...

To be honest guys, this "most 16 year olds are idiots" argument doesn't hold water: virtually everybody is a fuckwit to me, and if it was my decision, only certain people would be allowed to vote. In fact, if I ever seize power in a bloody coup I will make sure that anybody black, white, rich, poor, stupid, really stupid, taller than a horse, shorter than a horse, about the same size as a horse, male, female, senile, possibly senile, randomly accused of being senile, horny, perpetually not horny, gay, straight, transgender or bi-curious would not be allowed to vote, ever.

The "More Candy Before Mealtimes" Party has my vote and always will.

I think there's truth in what you're saying there - but there's always the risk, especially for small business owners. There is an adjustment period for new parents, naturally your life is never going to be the same again.

The simple answer is yes, the complicated answer is to do with GDP, disposable income and viability of product within the territory. The average salary in Shanghai is about £400 per month, over approximately half of which goes on rent, bills, food and travel -that's a generous estimate. The remainder has to cover absolutely everything else - savings, sending/giving money to family, clothes... Doesn't leave a great deal of room for disposable income. Furthermore, North America (USA & Canada), Europe and Japan essentially make up the majority of what is considered to be the developed world: statistics here are more reliable, sales figures more accurate and income better suited to the purchase of luxury items.

Happy birthday, yo!

You're right Nightie - equality goes across all things: you want same pay, same rights, same respect then you can absolutely have them. But you have same working hours, same shit given to you and same expectations. One thing that used to bother my old boss and is a big problem for my current school is maternity leave: I'm not precisely sure what the laws are, but the lady with the baby gets a fair amount of time off, paid, and then she can expect to come back to her job after. A man gets what, two weeks? And generally is looked down upon for taking that. At my school here, six teachers out of twenty are pregnant. They will all take a minimum of three months off, which are paid by the school. We then have to get replacements in for the duration. I guess you either have to acknowledge that women are physically different and say "ok, have the job, but your salary will be lower because one day you're going to disappear with a baby" or say "same pay, but if you get pregant I expect you back within a week." I've never struck a woman in anger, and I'm not sure I would. But I'm certain that if a lady attacked me that I would do what's necessary to defend myself.

My Wii is Japanese, but an update I got about 2 years ago rendered all the menus in English - it wasn't too hard trying to figure out the "yes/no" options anyway, but it was nice to get everything else in English as well. All the copied games are in English as well. My 360 came from HK so English was standard. If I buy a Wii U, it'll be just Nintendoland and ZombiiU for started.

Yeah, Christmas is still a thing for me. The most important thing is stuffing myself silly, the presents are secondary to that. However, don't confuse presents and stuffing me silly - a present that I can stuff myself silly with is not a present, it's a cop out and and you know it. I'll be getting my sister Just Dance 4 for her present. She's 11.

YOU SIR! Appear to be in Taiwan. What are the prices like there? To be honest, I'm not sure if I can be bothered with getting two, it's a lot of expense and hassle. Also, the shop where I buy the stuff is only nice to me when the lady is there. The man hates me. Because I personally burned down the Summer Palace.* *Actually, certain members of the British Army over 150 years ago burned the Summer Palace. But the Chinese are not a nation to ever let fact get in the way of blaming people for everything. Interestingly enough, they never mention the 20+ million who were starved to death through the incompetence of the Party in the early 50s.

I'm unsure what to do... On the one hand, virtually everything is chipped here in China, which means you can't play online, but the games cost 50p. On the other hand, I want to play online, but I've no intention of paying $59 for a retail game through the post, or the inflated price it will be here on Taobao.

All I can remember of the second film is that there was a ship. The third film I saw in a grubby Sofitel in Paris at the end of a weekend break in EuroDisney. The main feature was, if I recall some hippy guy who was sent to protect Sam Neill.

I am amazed that you can remember that. I would like to give you money as a reward.

"bamf" was the sound effect for Nightcrawler every time he teleported, but obviously he means "Big-Assed-Mewling-Quim". But put an "F" in place of the "Q", which was silly.

Stupid bastard doctor bastard didn't give me anything to stupid bastard help me sleep. Bastard. To top it off, the domestic helper we have here just lock me out of the house. I called out to her very loudly, but no answer. I remember she told my wife her ex-husband had been giving her trouble and threatening her. So there I was imagining all sorts of things happening to this poor lady in my house... ...so now we need a new door. STUPID COW LOCKED IT BY MISTAKE AND THEN PUT HER HEADPHONES ON IN THE KITCHEN.

I just want Timesplitters 4, that's all. Please. I beg you. If it's good I'll buy two copies.

Male voice, a lot of synthesizer but otherwise a fairly MOR sound.

It isn't search and destroy, I've googled and bing'd this one to death and I just can't seem to find it. I'm hoping someone has heard it but no-one has posted the lyrics on the 'net just yet.

PM me with your email and we'll get the all rolling!

Why sir, Elrond's Shoe and BattleAxe Emporium is the place for you! Browse our many fine mail shirts while your wife haggles on price over a pair of luxury Orcskin pumps. Dine in our coffee shop and enjoy complimentary parking for your horse!* *Mounts larger than a horse accommodated by agreement of management only. Nazghul please call ahead to ensure space.

...see, the thing is: I'm useless at drawing. I can picture it in my mind, but my ridiculously useless hands will simply not obey. What I need is for someone to create the comic based on my script and ideas. I could even scan a loose-leaf version of my penciled-in ideas and send it to you. The idea is to create a regular, funny and satirical set of true-to-life comics. Think a cross between the Oatmeal, Hyperbole and a Half and Cyanide and Happiness. * Any takers? Let's see if we can do the artwork first, PM me for my first few script ideas. *NB: In the extremememememely unlikely event of this shit making any money, I would consider a 50/50 split on costs and profits to be the best way.