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Good for you, Esequiel! If I have children, I'll probably have a dozen. That way there's plenty of them to take care of me in my dotage.

Open invitation it is then! I walked down a street earlier full of "back room" massage parlours and I had hardly any cash with me and not an ATM in sight. The worst part is I can't remember where the street is now. I know it's nearby, but WHERE?? And Bluey, I know a couple of good agencies to get you a job in Japan if you are interested.

Oh right... and the girls with very little on asking to be allowed to rub you, let's not forget that. But hey, you can look at buildings if you like.

Middle of Forrest Gump, when Bubba was shot. It. Killed. Me. And at the end of The Iron Giant when Hogarth's voice echoes in the Giant's head - "You are who you choose to be." "Superman." Gah. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ytcEWAZOXnQ

The WFC? The WiFi Chicken? The World Free of Capitalism? The Weird Foolish Champion?

I was in an ALP, and I teach gifted children, if you want quotes.

Congrats, how many do you already have?

When I moved to Shanghai last year. Nearly one year on, I am loving it. Free massages and cheap clothes for everyone!

I'll definitely be playing this offline with friends. If the microcosm of "Master Players" here is evidence of wider arrogance, then I'll be avoiding online matches for the sake of my own enjoyment.

I spent it in the company of a room full of attractive chinese ladies who were making eyes at me... ...along with my girlfriend who was scowling at all of them.

Oh stop with the "No method of contraception is 100% safe" bullshit, it's giving me a hangover. If you are taking the pill or if you are wearing a condom then it is a given that you DO NOT WANT to get pregnant/have a child. So therefore in the unlikely event that it happens (Newcastle winning the league is more likely) then you should be prepared to BOTH make a decision. Sure, the woman's body is the one that has the baby, but the baby is 50% of the male. People talk about responsibilities of the man, but what about his rights? What if he uses a condom/she's on the pill and then she's pregnant? The man has to obey the whims of a woman he may not love or who may not be entirely stable mentally, and yet he has implied clearly beforehand he doesn't want or doesn't feel ready for the responsibility. All the while wankers are sitting there in their Ivory Towers wagging their fingers and saying "You should have been more careful" and other useless bullcrap, implying yet again that the woman is the victim of another heartless man intent only on sexual gratification.

"Does anyone else want to laugh at my fwiend.... Biggus...Dickus?" That had me in stitches for the rest of the week. I don't think anyone else but Michael Palin could have delivered that line so well.

Dude. Look, just take it easy, it's the worst feeling in the world when you know you've lost control of your life and someone else is tlling you how it's going to be for the next 17 years. If she's pregnant, either consider adoption or abortion, both are real options despite what some might say. But for heavens sakes, if you have the child, stick by it or at the very least do the right thing by them. Though on personal note, there was a girl I know who tried this on me... her ass hit the ground hard. Not physically, of course. I have known several women who have used preganancy as a way to trap a man and then enjoy a work-free life on the payroll of the government.

"For the most part, you are bisexual. You have a slight preference for the opposite gender, but either gender would suit you. If you are sexually inexperienced, it is possible that this will change after you do some experimenting." ----------------- Sounds about right, I guess. Apart from the inexperienced thing.

Jumpers for goalposts? Secretly rubbing the ball in shite and getting your mate to header it? Anyway, I think the fact that we can hold Chelsea to 2-1 and their second goal was CLEARLY OFFSIDE is a good sign for our players. They have the ability just not the strength as a team yet.

I love the video for Band Aid, the original. It's one of the last appearances of Bono before he disappeared up his own ass. His musical talent is something that is sadly missed.

10 What is/are your preferred genre/s [multi choice] - Action adventure - Sci-fi - Fantasy - Horror / Thriller - Comedy - Entertainment 11 Are you male or female? Male 12 How old are you? 22-30 13 What is your ethnic background? - Mixed race

I have thieved quite a lot. Recently I stole a gold-plated spoon from a restaurant here. They initially tried to overcharge me, they didn't thin k I would look at the bill or recognise they were trying to charge me for four more dishes that I had eaten. I consider that retribution. I stole an awful lot of crap from the supplies cupboard when I was 5, go caught and vowed never to do it again. Get caught, that is.

I'm hassling the missus to come tomorrow so I can take pics without getting arrested. It's a busy day though what with Christmas Shopping before my brief holiday back to the UK, then return to Shanghai where my publishers are waiting for first drafts of these here children's books... Narf!

I saw a toilet sign in Hangzhou today that said "Male Man" and made me think of you, rok.

There's a lot of good there, but there is a lot of bad. The situation with the PS2 was similar for th first year, except in the case of the PS2 there was nothing worthy of purchase from day one.

http://www.ukresistance.co.uk My SEGA coin features on UKR today, I don't know whether to be proud or ashamed that I am so excited about this. Still, the website has been consistently cracking me up for the last few years, so it's nice to get on.

Net for preference. Although as it is my first Christmas living in China I am giving my family authentic Chinese goods when I visit for the festive period.

"Dude... this is such a sausage fest. Wanna make out?"

I'm feeling the Lampard hate here I've learnt enough Chinese in 8 months to get on with the basics of my job, and the rest is diagrams and gestures, so good luck to the guy.