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Should I stay or should I go?


Ashley

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It sounded to me like you were bemoaning your lot. Fair enough if that's not the case. I envy you the choices open to you.

 

I'm in a situation where if I earn less than 2k a month, I will be shafted by the bank, the UK government, the Chinese government and my future self. And all I want to do is take a part-time ELT job in a shitty language centre where I have no responsibility and no worries, but take a cut of 500 quid a month. But, no choice.

 

Sorry if it sounded that way. My response to Guy was supposed to be heightened melodrama, hence the caps. I am aware I am in a very fortunate position.

 

Is there any chance of change in the future? I know you've spoken about financial reponsibilities for the house etc, but can/will that ease up at any point?

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Sorry if it sounded that way. My response to Guy was supposed to be heightened melodrama, hence the caps. I am aware I am in a very fortunate position.

 

Is there any chance of change in the future? I know you've spoken about financial reponsibilities for the house etc, but can/will that ease up at any point?

 

Government has added a 20% tax from the sale of homes. And that's calculated from the gross value but applied to the net. In other words, if my house was sold for 3,000,000 (its value before mortgage is taken into account) and I netted 1,500,000 after the mortgage, I would lose 20% of 3,000,000 (600,000) from the 1,500,000 leaving me with 900,000 to buy a new place. A new place starts at about 4,000,000 in the same area for the same size. Same size out of the city is aout 2,000,000. And to obtain another mortgage, I would have to pay a 50% deposit. And that's not even thinking about the decorating. Chinese people quite literally gut the interiors when they leave. They don't even leave a light switch.

 

Oh, and they have decided to raise the base interest rate to 1.3 from 1.1. This is in addition to the swingeing variable rate the bank is already charging. Next month, my mortgage payment jumps by about £75. We've already gotten a letter from the bank.

 

So, in conclusion: it's not worth me selling the house due to the assraping I will get on the tax, but keeping the house is becoming more difficult as I have to start diverting more money into it.

 

 

 

Aaaaaaanyone else want to have a moan? I haven't even told you about the shitty social security I have to pay, or the private pension fund.

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Working two days a week also has the major benefit of giving a solidity / structure to your week. It's kind of disorienting and easier than you think to end up on weird sleeping patterns, or out of sync with your friends etc assuming they're all on 9-5s.

 

It's also useful in term of not stagnating - unless you have a studio or rent office space freelancing can be a kind of lonely experience, as you'll spend a lot of time on your own at home.

 

I'd generally echo what everyone else has said too. You're really lucky to be in a position to cover rent and bills through a two days a week job, take it! 2.5/3 days a week is a lot of time to be doing freelancing (plus if the workload increases you can just use your weekends when need be - 5 days should be enough time to freelance).

 

(I've been doing freelance graphic design and illustration for a few months and lately been working on a magazine picture desk for 2/3 days a week - for me it's all been much better with that structure and stability!)

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What Dan Said: the income stability is a big plus, but having that regularity, of forcing yourself to fit to a schedule is incredibly important for when you find something permanent.

 

Unless you create one cartoon and make several million from it. Then you can do as you please.

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Can I ask, what kind of freelance animation, and do you have a showreel that you will be applying with?

 

Primarily 2D, probably commercials. I'm up for anything, but assuming that is where my trajectory will commence. Actually, I'll probably end up doing the grunt work rather than actual animating, but fine with that for now. Considering focusing on AE animation, as apparently there's a call for that right now.

 

I do, but it needs updating. It was thrown together when I was pitching to do a music video. I intend to spend the next three months reworking the basics that are kind of lacking at the moment (such as a walk!).

 

Anyway, here:

 

Working two days a week also has the major benefit of giving a solidity / structure to your week. It's kind of disorienting and easier than you think to end up on weird sleeping patterns, or out of sync with your friends etc assuming they're all on 9-5s.

 

It's also useful in term of not stagnating - unless you have a studio or rent office space freelancing can be a kind of lonely experience, as you'll spend a lot of time on your own at home.

 

I'd generally echo what everyone else has said too. You're really lucky to be in a position to cover rent and bills through a two days a week job, take it! 2.5/3 days a week is a lot of time to be doing freelancing (plus if the workload increases you can just use your weekends when need be - 5 days should be enough time to freelance).

 

(I've been doing freelance graphic design and illustration for a few months and lately been working on a magazine picture desk for 2/3 days a week - for me it's all been much better with that structure and stability!)

 

I think I'm fairly structured. The last time I wasn't doing a 9-5 (or more) was in 2009. I know what you mean though, it could be easy to fall into bad habits.

 

Unless you create one cartoon and make several million from it. Then you can do as you please.

 

You?

 

Well I told them I'll go part-time, now just to figure out hours/days. Thinking maybe 7:30-5 Monday and Tuesday. That will be half the week (well, 17 hours rather than 17.5).

 

Thanks for the advice folksicles :)

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Aaaaaaanyone else want to have a moan? I haven't even told you about the shitty social security I have to pay, or the private pension fund.

They didn't have the sandwich I like in TESCO today.

Genius. Complete genius! :hug:

 

 

Mortgage stuff

Fake your death/create an alternative identity and just get the fuck out of there.

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Genius. Complete genius! :hug:

 

 

 

Fake your death/create an alternative identity and just get the fuck out of there.

 

It's tempting. Especially as the first thing Mrs Iun said to me this morning was "I want 2000 RMB a month from you, not 1500!"

 

No "please" or "is it possible" or "do you mind if". No. "Want. Give."

 

Just a superb way to start the day.

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It's tempting. Especially as the first thing Mrs Iun said to me this morning was "I want 2000 RMB a month from you, not 1500!"

 

No "please" or "is it possible" or "do you mind if". No. "Want. Give."

 

Just a superb way to start the day.

 

How is the relationship generally at this point? I recall you talking about leaving her a while back, but I never heard what came of that (if you even mentioned it).

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How is the relationship generally at this point? I recall you talking about leaving her a while back, but I never heard what came of that (if you even mentioned it).

 

A lot of ups and downs. She really doesn't like me socialising - she hates me playing in the football team and takes all opportunities she can to criticise "I don't see you enough" "We don't spend enough time together" "exercise is bad for your health"

 

1: This lady spends her whole Saturday taking care of her son from her previous marriage, and I am basically completely locked out during that day - no communication, if he has been bad she will take it out on me, his needs are prioritised to the point where I had the flu but had promised to take him swimming so she dragged me to the swimming pool. I have to work Saturday out of necessity anyway, leave at 9:30 get back at 3:30.

 

2: Sunday she goes to learn English at a school at about 1pm (it's actually very good for her) and then she goes to a dancing class and comes back at 6:30pm.

 

3: In both instances she expects me to be in the house when she wants/needs me to be there. This includes while she is out doing her things or ignoring me in the other room. She expects lunch and dinner on Sunday to be cooked by me, breakfast to be at a restaurant. If our helper is not in, I am expected to cook around my schedule on Saturday as well.

 

4: "Who are you sending messages to?!" every time I pick up my phone. "Why are you sending messages?!" from a lady whose ear is glued to her phone for an average of 30 minutes every night.

 

Basically, it's not going well. I am once again in my own "should I stay or should I go?" conundrum /threadhijack

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You didn't list any ups, man. What are the ups? Before everyone jumps on the "convince a forumite to drastically change their life forever" bandwagon.

 

 

The sex is waaaaaay awesome. She can be very generous when she wants to be, and she genuinely does think about me. Trouble is, she always thinks of herself first.

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You can't hold it against her for putting her son first, especially as it's just one day a week. Your children should come before all else.

 

I don't hold that against her, it's why I've never objected to them spending time together. However, I resent the fact that I'm ignored when he is here, but expected to be here anyway. She wants me to be at her disposal at the drop of a hat, but still expects me to earn everything and yet pay no attention to my needs. She complains that I work too much, and then demands more money.

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God, Iun. You're so whipped.

 

No, I'm not.

 

Last night she asked again and I said no. She whined, wheedled and complained, called me a selfish man who doesn't care about our family our future etc. etc.

 

And I just said: no. Not a chance. If we need more money, you get it. Earn it yourself for us. I do enough.

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You mentioned earlier that you were still paying a student loan off. Is that a Chinese one, or a UK one? Because i know someone who graduating in the UK, then moved to France and hasn't had to pay it off because of that. Is it not the same for you?

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You mentioned earlier that you were still paying a student loan off. Is that a Chinese one, or a UK one? Because i know someone who graduating in the UK, then moved to France and hasn't had to pay it off because of that. Is it not the same for you?

 

Ahaha... Technically should have told them when I arrived here what my situation was... Didn't, they caught up with me when I changed my passport and said: start making payments or you'll be in trouble next time you come back to the UK. So, payment is being made.

 

@Ashley

 

Did you make a decision and follow through with it yet?

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By the size of it things haven't improved much since you broke down your situation the last time.

 

Stop punishing yourself and make a better life.

 

We are about...two, maybe three steps from being back to square one.

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