Owario Posted January 5, 2006 Author Posted January 5, 2006 Apparently I can't change the title to say if the new chapter is out. Silly forums. Thanks for the compliments.
Bluejay Posted January 5, 2006 Posted January 5, 2006 Entertaining opening chapter, I haven't seen Saw so this is all new to me. I await the next part.
LazyBoy Posted January 5, 2006 Posted January 5, 2006 Very nice Owario, though I can't imagine what kind of crap you're gonna put me through. Go gentle.
AshMat Posted January 5, 2006 Posted January 5, 2006 NExt chapter next chapter, ica n't wait that was an incredible peice of writing, i am seriosuly gonna print this off to read over and over
Konfucius Posted January 5, 2006 Posted January 5, 2006 That is incredibly well written, really brings the tension and feel of hopelessness from the film in.
EEVILMURRAY Posted January 5, 2006 Posted January 5, 2006 i am seriosuly gonna print this off to read over and over Get your tongue out of my arse there Gary. Dogs do that. You're not a dog are ya Gary?
AshMat Posted January 5, 2006 Posted January 5, 2006 Get your tongue out of my arse there Gary. Dogs do that. You're not a dog are ya Gary? Screw you man, im not the only one saying this is good
Katie Posted January 5, 2006 Posted January 5, 2006 Nooooo! That was great Owario, nice job. I'm bound to like reading about myself though :wink:
Destiny Blade Posted January 5, 2006 Posted January 5, 2006 very well written and a most entertaining story so far im not much of a horror film person but this is kind of swaying me. very good keep it up once more
dabookerman Posted January 5, 2006 Posted January 5, 2006 Get your tongue out of my arse there Gary. Dogs do that. You're not a dog are ya Gary? haha, eevil u should read the comments in the nintendo christmas carol thread...halarious
Bren Posted January 5, 2006 Posted January 5, 2006 that was an ace opening, i think ima watch Saw again, reminds me of it quite a lot, and after just finishing Condemed on the 360, im all into this sick murder story stuff lol,
Owario Posted January 6, 2006 Author Posted January 6, 2006 My server on City of Villains is having a big pvp event tomorrow, so I thought I might as well get the next chapter done early for you guys rather than not writing it for a couple of days. Don't expect this kind of service all the time though. But yeah, I'm pretty much done. I just have to proof read it, it should be up later today.
Owario Posted January 6, 2006 Author Posted January 6, 2006 The double post was needed (Sort of) to show that there had been a new post. RE Saw Chapter Two Destiny Blade started to breathe heavily. What the hell was the voice on the speaker talking about? This couldn’t be happening, not to him. He looked through into the next room to see a woman chained to a wall. He ignored her; he was only concerned about himself. He looked down, and his neck began to feel tight. He felt around it. There was some sort of metal ring on it. What was this? Just like the voice had said, Destiny Blade found a cassette player on the floor. He cautiously walked over to it, as if it were some kind of untamed animal. He bent over to inspect it but before he even began to think about picking it up, he threw up all over it. “Oh shit†He wiped away some of the mess and picked up the now foul smelling cassette player. “Hello, Destiny Blade. Right now you’re probably wondering what you’ve done to deserve this. Well I’ll tell you. You like to tell people what to do, to boss them around. You like to outright control someone else’s life. Now please enlighten me, why do you deserve to control more than one life? You don’t seem special to me. But perhaps you do deserve it, perhaps you have a stronger will than most people. While I doubt this is true, I have allowed you to prove to me that you are worthy. From now on, you control the fate of two people; yourself, and Dukkadukka over there. Yes, the woman chained to the wall with the device attached to her head. Somewhere in her room is a key that will remove her head trap, as well as open her door. If she escapes, Destiny Blade, then you will be presented with a key to remove the device from your neck and open your door. Isn’t it a shame that her device also covers her eyes? In the corner of your room is a walkie-talkie. This is linked directly into her head contraption and can be used to communicate with her, and instruct her where to find the key. However, three minutes after you press the button to start talking, your device will contract, breaking your neck. I’ll tell you now Destiny Blade, that this cassette player’s pause button is broken. This tape also contains Dukkadukka’s message, so I suggest you put this up to the walkie-talkie right about now and let her listen.†Destiny Blade span around and ran to the corner of the room, where, sure enough, he found a walkie-talkie. He pressed the button to talk and shoved the cassette player up to it. “Hello Dukkadukka, I hope you’re enjoying the irony of this, for you used to fake blindness in order to benefit yourself, and now you find yourself unable to see. Don’t worry, you are not truly blind, you merely have a device around your head blocking your sight.†“What? Who is this? Who’s there?†“You already have less than three minutes to find the key to your freedom, you can thank your new friend Destiny Blade for starting the timer. Don’t worry though; he’s going to help you by guiding you to the key. About that contraption on your head: if you do not unlock it using the key before the time limit runs out, it will tighten until it crushes your skull. Considering you only have about two minutes and twenty seconds left to find that key now, I’ll release you from your chains and leave you be. Just one more thing Dukkadukka; you might want to watch your step, or at least, let your friend watch it for you.†Destiny Blade observed Dukkadukka as she was released from her chains, but didn’t move. His eyes now shifted towards the floor of her room, and an overall feeling of disgust came over him. He put his hands over his mouth as his jaw dropped in repulsion. “Dukkadukka, don’t fucking move.†“What’s going on? Where am I?†â€I don’t know exactly, but I know this is no game we’re playing.†“The floor … it’s so cold. Why would whoever did this take off my shoes?†“Believe me, you don’t want to know.†“What do you mean?†The cassette player started making a cracking sound. The voice came back on. “Two minutes left, better hurry up.†“Jesus I think this is serious, I’ll have to get that key.†“NO, DON’T MOVE!†It was too late. Dukkadukka had taken a step forward. She screamed and fell back into the wall. Unfortunately, the nail she had just stepped on was just one of the hundreds protruding from the ground, separating her from the key “What the FUCK was that?†“It was a fucking nail. There are hundreds of them; if we’re going to get that key then we’re going to have to work together. Just … don’t step anywhere unless I tell you to.†“Piss off, I’m not moving anywhere.†“Listen. Frankly, in any other situation I wouldn’t give a shit if you died or not. But by doing this, you’re ending my life as well.†“What?†“If you die, I die, simple as that. That freaky voice told me so, and he’s been right about everything else so far.†“Bullshit. You’re bluffing.†“Why the FUCK would I be bluffing about this? You’re going to have to get that key, no matter how much it hurts you.†“One minute and thirty seconds remaining, I hope you’re close.†“Shit shit shit. We don’t have time for this. You’re going to have to try and jump to the other side.†“You’re kidding†“DO I FUCKING SOUND LIKE I’M KIDDING?†“Well where the fuck do I jump to then?†“Just turn a little to your left, yeah, like that. Now jump as far as you can.†Dukkadukka started swinging her arms to gain some momentum. She clenched her fists, and jumped as far as she could. It wasn’t far enough. Both her feet landed on several nails. She pulled one foot back, ripping the skin even more, which made her lose her balance and fall. Her back was pierced and a river of blood spilled out onto the floor. “Shit, oh shit. Fucking hell. The key, it’s right in front of you, just get it and this can all be over. Everything will be all right, come on. “ “One minute left, you better hope for a miracle.†Dukkadukka slowly turned back onto her knees and started searching around for the key on the floor. “No, to your left a bit, left.†â€Ughn, shit. We’re going to die.†“No we’re not, just a little to yo … a little to …†The device on Destiny Blade’s neck began to tighten. He was finding it hard to breath. “Fuck, where is it?†Dukkadukka was now frantically moving around trying to find the key, repeatedly puncturing her hands on the seemingly endless amount of nails, screaming her head off. They weren’t going to make it, Destiny Blade knew that now. He gazed at Dukkadukka, who was now attempting to pull the trap off her head. He could tell it must have been tightening for her, too. Destiny Blade’s whole life flashed before his eyes. He had done a lot of bad things in his time, but did he deserve this? “Time’s up†Dukkadukka’s head caved in on itself as the device got smaller and smaller. Blood stained the floor, and she lay there, motionless. Destiny Blade stood up, and looked at himself in the mirror. He felt around his neck. “Sorry... Dukkadukka.†SNAP. “Hello Sarka, all your life you have taken more than you have deserved. Did it make you feel like a big man when you sacked all those employees of yours so you could hire illegal immigrants and make more money? Do you feel that the more money you have, the more important you are? There is wire hanging from the roof in front of you, and on the end of it is a key. Use it to escape, but don’t let your greed get the better of you.†Sarka moved towards the key, and looked at the roof it was hanging from. He pulled the key off, and pocketed it. Just then, another key fell down on a wire in front of him. He went over to grab it, but then stopped. “Oh no, I’m not falling for that one.†He unlocked his door, and stepped into a large circular room, with many doors that he figured leaded to other rooms like his. “Hello? Can anybody hear me?†“…†“I guess not.â€
jakeee Posted January 6, 2006 Posted January 6, 2006 Thanks for another great chapter, Owario I love this ^^
dukkadukka Posted January 6, 2006 Posted January 6, 2006 oh my god that was sick! i love it! keep up the good work hun
Bluejay Posted January 6, 2006 Posted January 6, 2006 Nice chapter, had me cringing when dukka dukka's head was crushed, in a good way.
AshMat Posted January 6, 2006 Posted January 6, 2006 Very nice, i like what you did with the greedy man
Sarka Posted January 6, 2006 Posted January 6, 2006 I feel sick just reading this, thank god I decided never to watch Saw... very well written... and I'm scared of what'll happen to me...
LazyBoy Posted January 6, 2006 Posted January 6, 2006 That was sick, which is a good thing a guess. Nice work.
Bren Posted January 6, 2006 Posted January 6, 2006 that was another cool chapter, how many you planning on doing?
Fierce_LiNk Posted January 6, 2006 Posted January 6, 2006 Really, really good stuff, man. Reminds me of the films all over again. Brilliant. Also, if you need to edit the title, just PM a mod or admin and they'll do it for you.
Recommended Posts