Dan_Dare Posted June 1, 2009 Share Posted June 1, 2009 This is genius. Once again, The Washington Post has published the winning submissions to its yearly neologism contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternative meanings for common words. Some old , some new , but all clever & worth a re-run . The winners are: 1. Coffee (n.), the person upon whom one coughs. 2. Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have gained. 3. Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach. 4. Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk. 5. Willy-nilly (adj.), impotent. 6. Negligent (adj.), describes a condition in which you absentmindedly answer the door in your nightgown. 7. Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp. 8. Gargoyle (n), olive-flavored mouthwash. 9. Flatulence (n.) emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller. 10. Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline. 11. Testicle (n.), a humorous question on an exam. 12. Rectitude (n.), the formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists. 13. Pokemon (n), a Rastafarian proctologist. 14. Oyster (n.), a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms. 15. Frisbeetarianism (n.), (back by popular demand): The belief that, when you die, your soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there. 16. Circumvent (n.), an opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men. The Washington Post's Style Invitational also asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition. Here are this year's winners: 1. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future. 2. Foreploy (v): Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid. 3. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period. 4. Giraffiti (n): Vandalism spray-painted very, very high. 5. Sarchasm (n): The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it. 6. Inoculatte (v): To take coffee intravenously when you are running late. 7. Hipatitis (n): Terminal coolness. 8. Osteopornosis (n): A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.) 9. Karmageddon (n): its like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes. And then the Earth explodes and it's a serious bummer. 10. Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you. 11. Glibido (v): All talk and no action. 12. Dopeler effect (n): The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly. 13. Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web. 14. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out. 15. Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a grub in the fruit you're eating. And the pick of the literature: 16. Ignoranus (n): A person who's stupid AND an asshole absolutely love the last one. I'm going to use it all the time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
S.C.G Posted June 1, 2009 Share Posted June 1, 2009 Hehe, that is "Prawsome" (adj) used to describe something that is in some way pretty and awesome. :p Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jayseven Posted June 1, 2009 Share Posted June 1, 2009 I love all of those. Cumbersome; an awkward portion of cucumber? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ReZourceman Posted June 1, 2009 Share Posted June 1, 2009 Willy Nilly. Brilliant. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ganepark32 Posted June 1, 2009 Share Posted June 1, 2009 Some good ones there. Frisbeetarianism was brilliant as was ignoranus. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eenuh Posted June 1, 2009 Share Posted June 1, 2009 Haha some of these had me actually laughing (out loud!). X3 Funny! I'd make some of my own but I don't feel smart enough for that. =P Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
S.C.G Posted June 1, 2009 Share Posted June 1, 2009 Obsesshun (v.) to shun obsessive behaviour. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mundi Posted June 1, 2009 Share Posted June 1, 2009 Lactose (N.) The condition of lacking toes. Hehe, that is "Prawsome" (adj) used to describe something that is in some way pretty and awesome. :p I´m gonna start using that word with that definition from now on. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nicktendo Posted June 1, 2009 Share Posted June 1, 2009 Dismember (v.) Violently remove / ban someone from a gaming forum. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MoogleViper Posted June 1, 2009 Share Posted June 1, 2009 Chomputing (v.) The act of eating snacks whilst using the computer, often during the midnight hours of the day. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ReZourceman Posted June 3, 2009 Share Posted June 3, 2009 Bold (v) - A dyslexic person with no hair. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MoogleViper Posted June 3, 2009 Share Posted June 3, 2009 Apeel (n) - The enjoyment gained from peeling off dead skin. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Roostophe Posted June 4, 2009 Share Posted June 4, 2009 Horray - Cheering when a character you don't like in a horror film gets killed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jayseven Posted June 4, 2009 Share Posted June 4, 2009 Delighted: The childish feeling experienced during a night-time powercut. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MoogleViper Posted June 4, 2009 Share Posted June 4, 2009 Squeemish (adj) - annoyed by fangirls. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EEVILMURRAY Posted June 4, 2009 Share Posted June 4, 2009 Jugulum: The rack of a rarely seen member here. Maskerade: Fizzy drink made from masks. Abroad: A lady with a six-pack Now, without cheating, can someone tell me the common link where I got the inspiration for those words from? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dan_Dare Posted June 4, 2009 Author Share Posted June 4, 2009 dunno but it's masquerade Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jayseven Posted June 4, 2009 Share Posted June 4, 2009 No. It's Terry Pratchett Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EEVILMURRAY Posted June 4, 2009 Share Posted June 4, 2009 No. It's Terry Pratchett Correct! . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nicktendo Posted June 9, 2009 Share Posted June 9, 2009 Some of these are epic. Jography (n.) A graph that compares personal times in set distances of running over a period of time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dannyboy-the-Dane Posted June 9, 2009 Share Posted June 9, 2009 Farmacy (n) - A place where you can get medicine for cows, pigs and the like. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shino Posted June 9, 2009 Share Posted June 9, 2009 Delighted: The childish feeling experienced during a night-time powercut. Genius. .. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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