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Yeah....probably shouldn't read if easily offended.

 

"Wow...you look uncannily like Madeline McCann. Of course you're not her. She's dead. I raped her and then killed her. And then raped her corpse."

Posted

"Right, we all know this will end with you dating me so why don't we skip 89 minutes worth of predictable, unfunny torture and just kiss me!"

Posted

"I'd like to have some sex with you. However something has to go wrong. We'll do it in an unconventional position or area, to ensure something slapstick happens. Like in the bath and I get my toe stuck in the tap or something, or maybe perched atop my work desk which collapses or some such. I hope these terms are okay?"


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