Dan_Dare Posted November 8, 2007 Posted November 8, 2007 it would be, only the real person has a bangin rack and thus out ranks you
Oxigen_Waste Posted November 8, 2007 Posted November 8, 2007 Not as far as friends go, I like to think I'll always have close friends and I hope I'll have my family for a long time too. But having a better half? I seriously think in that regard, I'll end up alone. "Tyler Durden: We're a generation of men raised by women. I'm wondering if another woman is really the answer we need." He's always right, the bugger. In the end, whether we are married/in a relationship or what not, you can have your best friends and your family surrounding you. But you will end up alone, everyone dies alone, going into the unknown, you face experiences alone, no person can ever be truely be together with someone, we still retreat into our minds where no one can sense what we are thinking or predict what we can do and ask questions that only we can answer. what sucks is knowing that ^ That pretty much says everything... Taking that into account, I'm pretty social, although I despise 95% of the people around me and only actually care about... about 10 persons, give or take. Fact number two, I immensely enjoy being alone, and quite like my loneliness. ^^ I've had two sepparate years of loneliness... and I must say, it's rather nice to have noone but yourself to be bothered with, sometimes.
Blue_Ninja0 Posted November 8, 2007 Posted November 8, 2007 Taking that into account, I'm pretty social, although I despise 95% of the people around me and only actually care about... about 10 persons, give or take. Exact same as me. I am pretty sociable (maybe too much for my own liking) but I dislike most of the people with the exception of a selected few.
Shorty Posted November 8, 2007 Posted November 8, 2007 Seems to me a lot of the loneliest people aren't making that much of an effort. If you leave your home and join some kind of activity or society, you branch out. Throught the course of your life you'll have old ties to previous friends, brand new friends, friends of friends, friends' spouses, family friends. You start small, making one or two, and it grows into a huge group. So that one day, hopefully, you'll have a fiftieth birthday party and dozens of people you've made the effort to get to know throughout your life will be there. Complaining about loneliness is not constructive at all. Claiming you don't have what it takes to be sociable/nobody will like you/you're unnattractive probably means your standards are too high. There are 6.7 billion people in the world and few of them enjoy being alone. Stretch out a flippin' hand and see who approaches. If it wasn't for my g/f and flatmate, I would be pretty alone right now at Uni. But like what happened to me in college, I would just go to classes/work and talk to the people next to me. That's how you make friends, that's how you avoid loneliness. DomJcq touched on a painful point, we all go into death alone and unsure. But screw death. That's inevitable, so making the most of life makes sense to me.
Bluejay Posted November 8, 2007 Posted November 8, 2007 I am fairly good at making friends. Back in early Primary School I was a wreck. Overly sensitive, shy and poncy. I changed school, struggled a bit then a fat kid took me under his wing and straightened me out. True Story. Now I have plenty of good friends, another band of people I like and like me I think and then a third band of acquantences who I can talk to if I'm with them but I don't seek them out. I don't dislike anyone at my school which is odd. Changing environments was good as it forced me to become more sociable. So basically Shorty's post is win.
DomJcg Posted November 8, 2007 Posted November 8, 2007 Well i'm glad my point has been discussed alot, makes me feel tingley (not THAT much though, its just a valued opinion thingy =) ) I'd like to point out that i can pretty much walk up to anyone and engage them in conversation, it leads to unexpected times and alot of fun at gigs.
martinist Posted November 8, 2007 Posted November 8, 2007 as long as this community stays alive i'll never be alone *hugs everyone and does a jig*
My Buttons are Magic! Posted November 8, 2007 Posted November 8, 2007 i feel lonely 5 days outta 7 when im up in coleraine was even on the phone to greg last night crying because of my lonliness - which it hink scared him cause i was sounding very sad i DO try which is where im confuddled i dont have many friends (strike that - i only have one really).. and the 3 people i talk to online are greg, steven and the coolness bears.. but no offense to you people, but i would LOVE to make friends at uni - i am quite friendly with 2 of my flatmates... but one of them loves partying and i dont so i cant get involved but i have kinda plans to head into coleraine on tuesday with the other one (we've bonded over hte fact that we miss our bf's when we are up there.. and the general depression that surrounds cromore court) also! i had one friend that i kept in touch with from school but she randomly stopped speaking to me (still havent figured out why!) tho greg and his friends came up on tuesday night which was nice as for the night (even tho they are too damn loud *shakes fist*) i had a great time as it was nice to have company!! gah i ramble
The fish Posted November 9, 2007 Posted November 9, 2007 I feel that I can counter homesickness (of my friends more than family) when I to to Uni by making new friends, something I'm very good at if the people in question have no prior impression of me. Most people at school who aren't friends have a preconceived view of me from back in year 10-ish, it feels.
jayseven Posted November 9, 2007 Posted November 9, 2007 Man, I'm sorry but most answers here have not compared to how lonely I've felt sometimes. Bullshit about having friends but feeling ok when you're alone - this is not loneliness. It's about feeling like there are absolutely no connections, and that there is no chance of any future connections with anyone living, with anyone worth caring about. It's the feeling, regardless of dying and knowing nothing yourself anymore, that nobody alive would give a shit. As for making the effort to stretch my hand out and make new friends... Always easier said than done. You make new friends by being associated with someone in some way; thrust into the same worldly conditions that in a kindly way force you to interact. Hobbies, interests are one. Work, education are another. Depending on your situation, certain avenues will be cut off. Depending on your physical and psychological situation, others may be as well. If someone says they are lonely, I do not feel that it is wholly fair to turn to them and say "WELL FUCKING GET OUT A BIT MORE FFS", because that is just not helpful. In my experience so far, very little is helpful :P I know that I need to meet more people in order to earn more friends, but that does not mean that I have the self-belief to truly believe that people would want to be my friends, given how I am right now. Everyone needs a social network to help deal with life. Sometimes it is harder to build such a system. Personally, where I am in my life, there is no certified way of making any new friends tomorrow, or this week. So why should I immediately feel better for the advice of "go get more friends"? I feel fucking lonely. I feel lonely every hour of the day, and I love my own company - but there are so many factors involved. SO yeah, that's part of how I feel right now, and I don't really feel like any of you seem to understand without being patronising and above it all. I do know how I can make myself feel better, but factors such as university work, self-confidence and actual possibility, along with those physical and psychological boundaries affect just simply reaching out and converting a stranger into a friend. Loneliness is not about the choice of being by yourself, but about the total inability to change the state of being alone.
darksnowman Posted November 9, 2007 Posted November 9, 2007 tho greg and his friends came up on tuesday night which was nice as for the night (even tho they are too damn loud *shakes fist*) i had a great time as it was nice to have company!! She kicked us out and like, we were quiet, coulda been so much louder. You're wee flat isn't meant to be like the library, its supposed to be the center of chaos and mayhem. Well anyway, loneliness. It isn't completely about having no friends. Theres that old saying about being with a ton of people and still being the loneliest person around, or something. Loneliness is also tied to purposelessness, I think. Theres plenty to be said on the topic.
Daft Posted November 9, 2007 Posted November 9, 2007 I didn't want to bump me quote thread but I found a couple nice ones: "To dare to live alone is the rarest courage; since there are many who had rather meet their bitterest enemy in the field, than their own hearts in their closet." "Pray that your loneliness may spur you into finding something to live for, great enough to die for." In isolation these quotes probably aren't the most encouraging thing to read but following on from each other I think they do a better job.
darksnowman Posted November 9, 2007 Posted November 9, 2007 I didn't want to bump me quote thread but I found a couple nice ones: "To dare to live alone is the rarest courage; since there are many who had rather meet their bitterest enemy in the field, than their own hearts in their closet." "Pray that your loneliness may spur you into finding something to live for, great enough to die for." In isolation these quotes probably aren't the most encouraging thing to read but following on from each other I think they do a better job. Daft, get the quotes thread back before I do. As for your second quote there, heres one too: "Purposeless survival now theres nothing left to die for."
rokhed00 Posted November 9, 2007 Posted November 9, 2007 You're never alone with a rubber duck. They make ones that vibrate now you know.
My Buttons are Magic! Posted November 9, 2007 Posted November 9, 2007 She kicked us out and like, we were quiet, coulda been so much louder. You're wee flat isn't meant to be like the library, its supposed to be the center of chaos and mayhem. Well anyway, loneliness. It isn't completely about having no friends. Theres that old saying about being with a ton of people and still being the loneliest person around, or something. Loneliness is also tied to purposelessness, I think. Theres plenty to be said on the topic. my friend was trying to do her essay - i thought a respectably amount of quietness was in order.. plus u were silent compared to john - he was shouting DONEGAL (or whatever it was )at the top of his voice - people were looking
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