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Posted

I went to brunch in the morning with people, and it was declared that my name is now officially Caryl, the male version of Carol (I'm called Carol Smilie, because I'm Scottish and smile a lot...). I love, because all it does is bring to mind Cerys Matthews, and Carys Evans, the stunning I've only ever met in the street.

 

I also spent the grand total of 8 hours working today. FINALLY got all my stuff done 15 minutes ago, and now I can sleep, to get up at half 7 tomoz morn (I have a computer-maths-program tutorial course tomorrow at 9, and it's a good half hour walk away. ANGRY. At least I can listen to music when walking, which means I learn the music so much better, so it's fine. Bagsy I'm going to listen to If You're Feeling Sinister by Belle & Sebastian.

Posted

Ugly...I need to finish my drawing...won't take long. Then I need to do a mind-map and some pretend development sketches tomorrow morning before college (it's fine, I get up 2 hours before necesarry so I can watch Batman and Pokemon).

 

I hate art. I need to learn how to write songs and then join a band. I feel my life would be so much more fulfilling if I was. But it's so hard to write songs without playing an instrument...you just attach lyrics to pre-existing melodies otherwise.

Posted

I'm soooo annoyed with myself! It's 3:30 and I'm still awake, and I have to be up at 7 or a full day of school (so somewhere around 8 hours). D:

My mind again won't stop thinking about all kinds of different things. It's ridiculous how many different things I've thought about already tonight.

 

One quite grim realisation I made was that since I've been going to my new school, I've had to deal with a loss every year. First year my grandmother died, second year my pet bird died and I split up with my boyfriend, third year I lost two of my cats... I hope this trend doesn't continue. =(

Posted

I'm trying to write, but enthusiasm or something has just left me, my sentences just sound banal and run of the mil recently and my ideas barely string together with any sense of cohesion. It's fucking annoying, cause its usually like riding a bike for me, but I'm just so out of practice recently that its gonna take a while. Hmmm...anyone else ever have this problem?

Posted

Eenuh; I wouldn't equate a pet bird and a grandmother to being a balanced dilemma. If the trend continues then you may yet face milder losses. Like a tooth. Or maybe a favourite jumper.

 

Bard; yeah, that sucks. You must be rubbish, I guess. Or maybe too sober, or too happy? I've had that problem for ages now, but I've definitely not been much of either of those, so if you find out, let me know.

 

I think I'm meant to be angry, but there's not enough energy in it. Definitely some self-absorbed emo shit going on right here, though. It's like some Greatest Hits(!) night at the self-esteem factory. I'm surrounded by sleep but I'm not allowed to dream! Sick and tired of all this matter-of-fact-ery that follows me so well, and knows the pattern I dwell in -- it always gets there first, and lets all the worst thoughts straight in. It's supposed to be a surprise party tonight! All these images and demons hiding out of sight, behind sofas, under tables, having a lark, sharpening their teeth as I *click* swing the door open, drop my keys, and enter the dark.

 

The regrets never go away. They get painted with the bright colours I tend to keep in my ash tray - the painter isn't me - now that would be cheating. I'd say the artist is someone who never had a chest that was beating. No doubt a certain flair for pinpointing the worst mistakes - the stupidest decisions that I'll ever make - are tied and knotted to anything that went wrong, even if they happened in someone else's song.

 

The lack of ability to rough, edit, and draft - not just my own writing, but those things in my heart. The idea that I'm supposed to just go with the flow, that there's some sort of ka, or God, always in the know, who doesn't want me to ruin the show - who isn't the devil, with a match, ready to go - there isn't one fate, and most definitely not another to avoid, or steer towards, to run to or take cover from... that all there is is... all that, there. Up and down, every silence, each stare. Nonsense creeps in like an elephant on glass. A last chance to forgive myself if I pretend it was all farce.

 

Two.

Posted
Eenuh; I wouldn't equate a pet bird and a grandmother to being a balanced dilemma. If the trend continues then you may yet face milder losses. Like a tooth. Or maybe a favourite jumper.

 

The bird died in my hands. ='(

But yeah just a weird thought my mind made up late at night. Plus losing your best friend/boyfriend is pretty harsh tooooo.

 

Ended up not falling asleep until 5 am. Alarms went off at 7 but I managed to keep turning them off every time they made noise and then sleep until 8. Oops. Ended up in school half an hour late but it doesn't matter anyway.

 

Illustration class is so fucking boring. There's only about 5 of us, and we sit in the class and no one talks and blehhhh. You could hear a pin drop on the floor. There's no funnnnn. Really not motivated at all this year. Keep thinking about quitting but I know I can't, but I also don't see myself actually producing something good this year. Frustration.

Posted

Brief update as I finally have a day off for the first time in what seems like forever. Work is getting hectic and stressy. Me and Zoe are getting on fantastically and see each other almost every night (sorry N-E!) and i'm feeling much more self confident as a result. :D

Posted

Job interview at the Sainsbury's this Friday. Let's take it back to the old skool.

i'm feeling much more self confident as a result. :D

You've finally sustained an erection for at least a minute?!

 

We're so proud of you!! *pr0 Hugs*

Posted
God my mates such a knob. He deletes basically anything I write on his FB wall. (it wasn't even remotely bad, it was just that Tottenham commemorative thing that Ramar posted in Football thread cos he's a Tottenham fan)

 

Dick. Fuck him to be honest. Oh well, he's a bad person, and karma and shit etc.

 

You are too awesome.

 

I've got a mate who deletes everything I write on his wall, though thats usually because I'm fiinding a mistake in something he's said or just plain taking the piss.

Posted

I'm literally too much of a fan of the Dynamics lectures we have.

 

One of the "experiments" today was tea-leaves in a transparent bowl, filled with water, projected onto a screen using an OHP. They were stirred, and all I saw were stunning images. And then he went on to prove the conservation of energy principle using central forces.

 

I love that everyone claps at the end of the lecture. I would clap, but I'm stuck in the quicksand, shaking, crying, hysterical etc.

 

Ophelia_1851_52.jpg

Posted
[THE PICTURE]

 

How times is that picture going to be posted in general chat, I've seen it at least three times, any chance we'll hit fifty before Christmas?

 

 

As for my day, it's been crap I've got a stinking cold. I've blown my nose so many times it's starting to hurt. ¬_¬

Guest Stefkov
Posted

I went to Dewsbury today... to the nearest UPS depot.

I got up early for this shit. Rest of they day will be funfunfun.

Posted
How times is that picture going to be posted in general chat, I've seen it at least three times, any chance we'll hit fifty before Christmas?

 

What's wrong with it?

Posted
My day? I hate everyone and everything.

 

Thats not true.

 

My Wolverine mask arrived. And thus the costume making begins. Although I feel a bit dirty that I didn't make it myself, but at least I'm customising it.

Posted
What's wrong with it?

 

I can only see a picture of a woman looking stupid in a pond three times a year. Any more and I may die of confusion..

Posted (edited)
My day? I hate everyone and everything.

 

Even me and Borderlands? I might just go do one. Edit: Just checked the Borderlands thread. Don't bother answering that.

 

 

 

The most memorable moments of my day are car based. My boss bought my MR2 a few weeks ago (ReZ: It's the one I took to Themefest). He has repainted all the dashboard and today I got to see it. It looks awesome.

 

Secondly, he revealed that he left the handbrake off by mistake when he pulled in this morning and it rolled across the carpark, went up a kerb and rested against a tree. Luckily the kerb took most of the speed out of the movment so the tree didn't damage the car at all. What's even luckier is that just beyond the tree is a rather large drop into another car park.

 

Thirdly, the insurance documents for my Scirocco showed up today. Got mum to use my card to buy me some tax and it's now totally road legal. I'm off to drive it around aimlessly for an hour or two in a bit. Climate change be damned.

 

 

 

 

Another event today that I unfortunately missed. One of the photography managers came into the lab, looked at one of the screens and called the kid that was being edited an "ugly bastard". It was a special needs school. I almost fell off my chair when I heard about it.

 

 

Edit: My boss also gave me a retro-tastic car stereo for free today. Good day.

Edited by Goafer
Posted
Even me and Borderlands? I might just go do one. Edit: Just checked the Borderlands thread. Don't bother answering that.

 

Oh sweet, that explains why Uncharted isn't matching me up. At least its not just me. Was so FUCKING annoying.

 

The most memorable moments of my day are car based. My boss bought my MR2 a few weeks ago (ReZ: It's the one I took to Themefest). He has repainted all the dashboard and today I got to see it. It looks awesome.

 

Secondly, he revealed that he left the handbrake off by mistake when he pulled in this morning and it rolled across the carpark, went up a kerb and rested against a tree. Luckily the kerb took most of the speed out of the movment so the tree didn't damage the car at all. What's even luckier is that just beyond the tree is a rather large drop into another car park.

 

Thirdly, the insurance documents for my Scirocco showed up today. Got mum to use my card to buy me some tax and it's now totally road legal. I'm off to drive it around aimlessly for an hour or two in a bit. Climate change be damned.

 

 

 

 

Another event today that I unfortunately missed. One of the photography managers came into the lab, looked at one of the screens and called the kid that was being edited an "ugly bastard". It was a special needs school. I almost fell off my chair when I heard about it.

 

 

Edit: My boss also gave me a retro-tastic car stereo for free today. Good day.

 

Awesome as fuck.

 

--------

 

OMG Ninja Warrior on Challenge TV. Best assault course EVER!

Posted
What's wrong with it?

There's nothing wrong with Millais' Ophelia, it's just a bit odd that it keeps getting posted, even if you do like it. Compare it to the winking picture that Dyson and Gizmo are (or were) always posting. People would be equally annoyed if I incessantly posted a picture of Chomsky or something.

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