Sexuality Thread

[Ashley]

Slight update: The group has said they're shocked/will investigate/usual PR stuff. Some higher ups from the chain will meet with some higher ups from LGBTLabour.

 

BBC Coverage as mine was vague but to the point :p

[Daft]

Don't see what's wrong. I wouldn't let Labour into my pub either.

[mr_bogus]

 

GET OUT MY PUB!!

[Gizmo]

Okay, I need a ruling N-E. I'll try and say this in as clear a way as I can.

 

Basically it was made clear in the last few weeks that a friend of mine is interested in me. It ended up we kinda had a thing about 3 weeks ago when we were out in a group and we ended up alone at some point. Then last week she asked me to come out again with another couple, and again we ended up alone at the end of the night and events transpired. Now the problems: she has only recently split up with one of my mates. They were together for a good 2 years or so. I'm fairly certain that me and her getting together would raise a few eyebrows. I haven't spoken to him about it, even though I know I should. But regardless of what he says, there will definately be whispering behind our backs about it.

 

I find myself somewhat torn. I'm not particularly crazy over her, and I was kinda almost involved with someone else which has now kinda tailed off, but I could probably revive if I wanted to. She seems to be way more interested in me than I am of her. I'm moving in September so it would only be a shortlived thing (although she has already joked about moving with me, which somewhat scared me :/). Basically, there are a million reasons not to get involved.

 

But the selfish part of me is saying that I've been single far too long, and here I have a girl who is clearly very interested. After being so frustrated about things never going my way the last year or two, I now actually could have a relationship. And yet I'm unsure. It just seems like I would only be doing anything because I want the physical stuff. It seems like the reasons not to are too great to be selfish like that. Or is it me being silly, and I should do what I want? It seems kinda unfair to her for me to be going into it not sure when she obviously is; but then is it more unfair to turn her away? I can't decide. Seems like either way there are problems, as it usually seems to be.

 

TL;DR - girl problems on the internet? no wai

[Raining_again]

Okay, I need a ruling N-E. I'll try and say this in as clear a way as I can.

 

Basically it was made clear in the last few weeks that a friend of mine is interested in me. It ended up we kinda had a thing about 3 weeks ago when we were out in a group and we ended up alone at some point. Then last week she asked me to come out again with another couple, and again we ended up alone at the end of the night and events transpired. Now the problems: she has only recently split up with one of my mates. They were together for a good 2 years or so. I'm fairly certain that me and her getting together would raise a few eyebrows. I haven't spoken to him about it, even though I know I should. But regardless of what he says, there will definately be whispering behind our backs about it.

 

I find myself somewhat torn. I'm not particularly crazy over her, and I was kinda almost involved with someone else which has now kinda tailed off, but I could probably revive if I wanted to. She seems to be way more interested in me than I am of her. I'm moving in September so it would only be a shortlived thing (although she has already joked about moving with me, which somewhat scared me :/). Basically, there are a million reasons not to get involved.

 

But the selfish part of me is saying that I've been single far too long, and here I have a girl who is clearly very interested. After being so frustrated about things never going my way the last year or two, I now actually could have a relationship. And yet I'm unsure. It just seems like I would only be doing anything because I want the physical stuff. It seems like the reasons not to are too great to be selfish like that. Or is it me being silly, and I should do what I want? It seems kinda unfair to her for me to be going into it not sure when she obviously is; but then is it more unfair to turn her away? I can't decide. Seems like either way there are problems, as it usually seems to be.

 

TL;DR - girl problems on the internet? no wai

 

well if you aren't interested now, it isn't likely to get better as days go on =P

 

I'd say leave it for a while (esp with circumstances) and if theres still a bit of interest, i'm sure you could work it out if you really wanted to.

[Gizmo]

Its not that I'm not interested...just not as interested as she is.

[Jamba]

I'd leave it. You're about to move and leaving things on a bad note with a friend feels crap. Put it this way: if you do keep seeing her, you're really just putting getting your end away over your friendship which in my book is a wrong-un.

[Dan_Dare]

Whatever you choose, I wouldn't put anyone else ahead of you. Do what you want and don't give a shit about people talking behind you back.

[Ellmeister]

You always seem to have people interested in you and then screw it up. I say don't screw this up by not getting involved. short time before moving and ruining a friendship which will just end up screwing you over later on when you return.

 

Just what I think.

[Gizmo]

You always seem to have people interested in you and then screw it up.

 

You've noticed too:blank:

[Ellmeister]

You've noticed too:blank:

 

To be fair you're halfway there. Doing better than most people, its the end game you need to work on. For me, Essex girls are easy, buy them lots of hair bleach and you've got them hook line and sinker. As for scottish girls, buy them lots of haggis or wear a kilt whilst commando maybe?

 

I'm just joking and not meaning to offend by the way lol.

[Gizmo]

To be fair you're halfway there. Doing better than most people, its the end game you need to work on. For me, Essex girls are easy, buy them lots of hair bleach and you've got them hook line and sinker. As for scottish girls, buy them lots of haggis or wear a kilt whilst commando maybe?

 

I'm just joking and not meaning to offend by the way lol.

 

Well I'm gonna be wearing a kilt tonight so...head down to Morrisons and pick up some Haggis just in case?

[Ellmeister]

Well I'm gonna be wearing a kilt tonight so...head down to Morrisons and pick up some Haggis just in case?

 

It can't hurt can it to be fair.

[Ashley]

Well I'm gonna be wearing a kilt tonight so...head down to Morrisons and pick up some Haggis just in case?

 

I knew he was a whore but I didn't realise Haggis (née, Slaggis) was now available at Morrisons.

 

In fact last I heard he was in Sainsburys.

 

Can a member of the back door staff please go to the back door. I repeat, a member of back door staff is needed for a back door delivery.

[Diageo]

My friend invited me to a gay pride parade, not sure I should go though, any thoughts?

[Daft]

Thoughts about what?

[Diageo]

Should I go? Should I not go?

 

See I've only told my closest friends and I really don't want my parents to find out, specifically the mother. But on the other hand I could have fun and meet some cool new people there...

[Daft]

Ah, right. So you're gay?

 

Well loads of people go to gay pride parades, gay/straight/miscellaneous, so you might as well. It's just a fun day out.

 

If the weather is good, go. If not, don't. That's what I reckon.

[Diageo]

Well I'm bi, but I'm sure that'll be ok there.

 

He said the same thing about loads of people going but I don't think my mam knows that. But I guess I'll go anyway, I'm nearly moving out (hopefully) so if she found out I guess the process would be sped up

[chairdriver]

Are you actually bi, or bi because it's "less bad" than being gay?

 

Either way, just go to the pride. And tell people. The worst thing about being in the closet is that there's a "they're right, I'm wrong" thing going on. Have the courage to persist, and tell cunts which are wrong, they're wrong.

[Diageo]

Well I still fancy girls and had a girlfriend and enjoy the female physique, if I was gay I would just say I was gay. I know the people I told wouldn't care either way.

 

And if I told other people I didn't trust straight off I'd be worried about my mam somehow finding out. She already said many times that homosexuality is wrong and unnatural, turns in disgust if she sees homosexual kissing on TV, and said if she found out she had a homosexual child, she would cry every night. I don't want to make her cry, as much as I dislike her attitude, and I don't want her to hate me either. Also I feel I am creeping acceptance and such into her mind slowly (not just towards homosexuality, but other things like racism against other countries,views on religion and people in prison), and if I came out to her, besides all the things previously mentioned, she would probably dismiss all the progress I'm making by thinking, "he only said those things because he is gay" I don't agree with him anymore.

 

Don't know her feelings on bisexuality though.

Edited June 21, 2010 by Diageo

[jayseven]

My thoughts are; you shouldn't care. I'm straight and I'll be going to the pride fest in brighton this year. It's a great event that anyone would be insane to miss out on!

 

EDIT: oh,the parent-thinks-its-wrong angle. Well either don't tell her, or get to the part where you dislike her for her archaic thinking. I suppose saying you're going to a gay pride festival will help 'creep it into her mind', as it were.

[Diageo]

 

EDIT:Well either don't tell her, or get to the part where you dislike her for her archaic thinking.

 

I'm not sure what you mean by that?

[mr_bogus]

She already said many times that homosexuality is wrong and unnatural, turns in disgust if she sees homosexual kissing on TV, and said if she found out she had a homosexual child, she would cry every night. I don't want to make her cry, as much as I dislike her attitude, and I don't want her to hate me either. Also I feel I am creeping acceptance and such into her mind slowly (not just towards homosexuality, but other things like racism against other countries,views on religion and people in prison), and if I came out to her, besides all the things previously mentioned, she would probably dismiss all the progress I'm making by thinking, "he only said those things because he is gay" I don't agree with him anymore.

 

Don't know her feelings on bisexuality though.

 

Her feelings on bisexuality will be the same as homosexuality (and if she has a holier than thou religious streak like mine, she'll try convince you that the bi side is Satan's temptation).

 

I say go anyway, tell her you're going with your gay/bi/lesbian friends, but don't tell her anything about yourself at this stage. Then you're basically telling her "I'm from this century, i support equality", but she can't accuse you of anything apart from being liberal unlike her.

[Josh64]

If you're moving out soon and not sure how she will take the news, maybe wait until you move out to say it? But I remember my dad was similar and not too accepting of gay people but it got to a point where I just thought "fuck it" and told him anyway. It actually turned out well and he's become quite an accepting person now.