The Bard

It's been a depressing day, and I really have nobody to talk to right now, so I guess my thoughts will have to go here. My best friend (or ex best friend, whatever), a guy who in my lonely 6th form days where I never got on with anyone due to a crippling case of depression, and, well, rage...I found out that he committed suicide a few days ago. The weird thing is that I loved that guy, in the way you love a manic depressive brother; you check up on him from time to time, see if he's ok, take him out for a few drinks, and thats about it. We kept each other company through hard times, and were pretty much inseparable for a while, until I went to university. He had dropped out of 6th form, after a suicide attempt. Thats the thing I never understood about that boy, he was tall, good looking, going to one of the best school in the country, training for the England olympic rowing team, was popular and had a great girlfriend. But he was miserable and hated his life. After that everything sort of disintegrated. He left his girlfriend, quit rowing, starting doing nothing but going to the gym and hanging out at Games Workshop. And I was secretly thankful, because I looked like less of a loser in comparison. The thing is...when term finished, we hung out once, and he was the same, and I had changed. I was more confident, and assured, and the dynamic that we had, sitting aroung in a bar trying to pull and bitching about life had changed. But I knew that I was the only person he had seen for months that he would consider a friend. I felt bad then, but nowhere how I do now. It's just a testimony to human callousness, how little we feel for the needs of others, even the people closest to us. I feel terrible, but I know its more because I know I will never see him again, never have the pleasure of his company, rather than because of his loss, or the loss of his parents. It frightens me, sure, to think that someone can do that, but that again just reminds me of the selfishness of emotion. I got the news while sitting with my family, and I kept myself composed, which is what I feel the worst about, when that poor boy has gone and taken his own life through sheer loneliness, and all I could think about was not embarrassing myself by getting emotional. Anyway, I needed an outlet, something to rant at. All I can think is that at least he wont be miserable anymore, and wont have to put up with shit friends.

Job for a Cowboy make my puny brain explode. It's as if pure wanton aggression was actually a complicated emotion! Perfect for having somewhat intelligent musings with otherwise braindead metalheads. =p. Hmm, what else have I been listening to... Well it depends, lately I've not really been in much of a music kick, by which I mean I'm not really trying out new stuff, so whenever I'm in the need of a mood, i'll stick on Tha Carter III, or Crack The Skye. Also been catching up on Sarah Slean. She pretty good. Yes. Canadian singer/ songwriter, which is perhaps the most depressingly contrived of musical institutions these days, but you know, she does it all right. Bless. I don't know what it is, but I feel the ol Bard rage coming up for a bit of a music thread binge lately. Maybe a good lambasting is necessary. Of course, nothing short of pure carnage like rinisng the old putrid smell of bullshit from this rotting carcass of a thread with my verbal ammonia will be satisfactory. So I shall have to brood, and get back to you all, on why you are all so very boring. With the exception of a few. You know who you are.

You've gotta be shitting me. I remember back when this shit was actually half entertaining. And then they brought in that dead fag and ruined everything.

Finally up to 12 stone! Taken like 3 months of gymming during which much poultry and cattle were devoured. Hoping to get up to 12.5 to move up a weight class for boxing club next year =3.

Who gives a fuck?

http://limelinx.com/files/69ed65ce31d82f60b51f5096b5241441# Cool song.

Unemployment beard '09.

Hmm...might only be able to pop down for a little while...the girlfriend thinks I'm coming down to London to see her . I'll see if I can't get away for a while...or maybe even drag her along, besides I have told her various tales of my "internet aquaintances" =p. I feel slightly pathetic.

Woot, got my results yesterday. Passed first year with a 1st. Winzor.

I agree with Dan.

I have this joke with my Cornish friend at uni that Devon and Cornwall are basically analagous to the confederate states in the US. They even have their own fucking flag. It's only a matter of time.

Thanks to bastard friends, I've been listening to the Hammer all day. Thinking of getting some balloon pants and the lines shaved into the side of my head...

Blink 182 are fantastic.

I can't help it, its in my nature. Besides, its for the ladies

Lol. But dude, its a bad bad film. I say this objectively speaking, or at least subjectively in so far as I'm not retarded. That doesn't mean I didn't enjoy it when I first watched it, although I'm beginning to think that was more because of the expectations I had seeing as its a pretty iconic film...for some reason, even though everything about it is so transparent. It doesn't even work as a comedy, like Predator =p. Phailyurrrr.

Watching T2 with my gf made me realise quite how shite the whole thing is, because watching anything with an audience makes you consider the ridiculousness of it all and makes it even harder to suspend your disbelief. There are some fairly cool moments peppered throughout, but as a whole, its pretty ass, especially if you remove yourself from the context of the era in which it was released; then you realise that not only is the acting and story pretty crude, but the effects and action are pretty sedate too. Phail. Not sure if I can be bothered with Salvation. Drag me to hell: watched it with some friends about a week or so ago. Was very entertaining all the way through, some genuinely frightening moments were seemingly "ruined" by the hilarious gore and spewing of bodily fluids, but I think that was probably the point. Monster pops out of the closet and scares the shit out of you only to have the director instantly reverse that effect as if he's taking the piss. Fun film. Justin Long was not too annoying. Strange.

Great ice cream place near uni. Hair is still slightly red: Man, looking through Facebook there are so many naked pic of me now, its quite frightening. I just realised aswell that everyone in my networks can see them...so possibly, my parents could have seen... everything o_0.

That's probably because you're able to suspend the disdain of your own ears since you can't actually understand the embarrassing utterances. Singing something or saying it with a musical/ rhythmic backing tends to make it lyrically and thematically more more convincing, since the instrumentalisation sets the mood and tone for the argument the lyrics are trying to make. If you don't know the meaning of the words, you can invent whatever connotations you want. That's why I enjoy Sigur Ros...probably. Who knows. Exactly, there's probably more reliance on tonality. In fact, even bands like Behemoth or Converge rely on this for me, cause the music is pretty fucking aggressive and angry, and seeing as I can't actually understand the lyrics (I would if I read up on them, but I prefer to see the music as autonomous), it just acts as pure tone for me. There's no real dialogic content, all it serves to do is create a mood. But that's why I love it.

Oh god, I totally forgot about this game. Yeah, I'll be up for a few games of this, if anyones up for setting up an N-E game night with it...

Kenneth Branagh's Hamlet is probably one to avoid, and I'll articulate why when I'm a bit more awake, but I did really quite like his version of Henry V way better than Laurence Olivier's, gives a presentation of the king as morally and ethically conflicted, whereas the other is basically just "fookin look at us British, were so great lol," pretty much justification of a war that was anything but just if you were to apply Henry's issue with the French monarchy to his own. Also, the film version of Othello with Ian McKellen as Iago is pretty fantastic. Go and watch! Things I'd wish I had done/ experienced: I have never been traveling without my family, something I really want to do since it would give me an experience that wasn't constricted by the limitations of a parent/child relationship. By which I mean, I wanna go France, get wasted out of my wits and go on Space Mountain. It could be brilliant. There are others, but most of them are way too personal to bother with posting.

Just did a fun essay. Fun mostly because the whole point of it was to write about whatever the fuck you wanted. Speaking of fuck, my housemate was just rocking the ceiling pretty hard. I did, infact, need to reach for the pillow...

Holy shit. Totally going to get my Stargate DVDs signed. WIN!

Well what me and my mates did one time was get a single room between 4 of us =p. That split the cost quite nicely. I might need a place to stay actually, unless we go for a tent in the middle of a park, which could be awesome.

Lol not entirely true, my GF wears my Street Fighter tee from time to time...when she needs a sweat rag after the gym =p.

Whats going on?