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The Bard

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  1. The Bard
    Lets break your diction down, shall we? Strong syntactical emphasis on "need" and self evident, all capped "own" suggest a grudging undertone. "Get some balls," yet again, an awful lot of hostility for someone that claims to be posting an objective statement. None of it is qualified by a well placed "=p" either, which leads me to believe in its sincerity. This "skill" has a long storied and colourful past on messageboard forums, for being the evergreen response of choice for the indignant female who has no other comeback, supplemented by sarcasm, the reserve of the witless... Works against some, unfortunately nobody who has actually had contact with a living vagina cares. Yet again, any girl who says this, and tries to undercut a poster's manhood by telling him to "get some balls" will inequivocally by reviled as someone who hits below the belt (hahahaha), and will be responded to in kind. Thus: Either I could fertilize my lawn with the contents of your post about "commenting," or you are a shitty communictor. So balls to you. To King V: Behold, the art of being a dick.
  2. The Bard

    Bayonetta

    The Bard replied to Dante's topic in Other Consoles

    So. Japan: The Game. Is it worth getting?
  3. The Bard
    So what you're saying is that a thread concerning someones genuine personal problems is ostensibly less worthwhile than "Post Your Christmas Tree '09," or "Your Town" ? Specious. Of course, it does reinforce what I said previously about people only caring about the self. The force strong with this one, yet technique lacking somewhat is. Only thing that can counter oestrogen rage is the ethnic minority card. Use it well. They fuck you up, your mum and dad. They may not mean to, but they do. They fill you with the faults they had And add some extra, just for you. But they were fucked up in their turn By fools in old-style hats and coats, Who half the time were soppy-stern And half at one another's throats. Man hands on misery to man. It deepens like a coastal shelf. Get out as early as you can, And don't have any kids yourself.
  4. The Bard
    Do not be afraid to beat people down with your cudgel of righteous anger. To Mundi: There are obscure references in pretty much all my posts Happy hunting.
  5. The Bard
    To Jesus, A Belated Birthday Rap: Jesus is my homeboy, He’s a home grown boy, When pa lives in the sky, His bitch is always gettin high Sayin all this scat shit Sayin how she deals with it, her boy Rolled out her clit, and fuck No he didn’t penetrate, No she isn’t schizophrenic And now she’s gotta deal with All this fuckin bullshit Jesus can, Have my sins, No I won’t Repeat them Makes you wanna go and bang a Ho NO! Jesus says.
  6. The Bard
    Naw, they shared a scoop of passion fruit punch, nerds don't play dawg. Occams razor. Cuttin that shit.
  7. The Bard
    Well now. I'm practically blushing. Ego successfully stroked
  8. The Bard
    Bail out Bail out Bail out. Hehe, sorry though dude, genuinely, feel free to poke fun whenever you want at my various neuroses.
  9. The Bard
    It was a joke brah... Oh wait...I will not ruin this moment.
  10. The Bard
    I would be worried for your sanity if you turned up to a photoshoot in that, brah =p.
  11. The Bard
    Pfft, since when do rationality come into love? n00b Still, I think ex talks are a tricky thing. You really have to get a sense for the person you're with, how sensitive (egotistical) they are before you tell them, cause otherwise its going to be the leech that you just can't get rid of, always coming up in arguments and always hanging there when you don't want it to be. You have to have a pretty acute sense of emotional economy when you're in a relationship, because the truth just doesn't cut it. You have to choose what to say, when to say it, and with what inflection, how much to say. The why, who the what the where and the how, till you're pullin yo hair and you're tearing it out. You get a free pass if you have aspergers though. Basterds.
  12. The Bard
    I do what I can . Actually...following SW naming conventions (Darth Vader, Sidious etc) you would actually be Darth Grious. But that just doesn't have the same ring to it. Contact me for an in depth explanation of the etymology of Sith Lord names[/sarcasm]
  13. The Bard
    First and foremost: Psychopathology is a part of human life. Everyone (every being, without exception) suffers from neurosis. Secondly, altruistic actions are, in themselves self serving - you are nice to people because you're deferring your basic drives - mate, feed, kill - because you hope to find some alternative, greater, on-going pleasure in the future - Nietzsche would call it the Will to Power, Freud would call it the pleasure principle, I would call it motherfuckery, and Marx doesn't give a shit. Now, if being nice, is fucked, and there's no chance of getting anything out of it, then why not be a dick? Hey, look at me, I'm the biggest dickhead here, and I'm happy as fuck. Oh yeah, i forgot, there's the small matter of that force of perpetual unreason, the personal agitation - bad conscience - you need to beat this ho down and tell her to take it like the bitch she is. Without lube. I'm helping you here. I'm instigating, I'm freeing your mind, showing you what you've known all this time: People are the self-contradictory, self perpetuating seed of satan. They aspire to nothing but the self. Harvest the force, Darth Negrious: GO FORTH, AND KILL.
  14. The Bard
    I will get back to you, if you want a thoroughly amateur Freudean psychoanalysis of yourself, but first; tell me about your mother .
  15. The Bard
    The only real alternative's for MSG are either: 1. Worse for you 2. Disgusting 3. Impossibly convoluted to make. 4. Marginally more expensive (=0) MS-G is the fifth taste, Umami, or savoury (as some fools call it) the taste of denatured protein L-Glutamate (present in high concentrations in everything from Soy Sauce, to Ketchup and in its highest concentration - in Marmite -). Unfortunately, Glutamate can't be served or preserved for long periods of time due to its nature of forming bonds with shit that makes it taste utterly horrendous. That's where mono-sodium comes in; it's essentially a preservative, bonded to L-Glutamate so that it doesn't bond with other shit, although I'm not really sure in which way it's actually bad for you, but I guess it's in the same way that any other preservatives are bad for you. The only other way to get denatured L-Glutamate, as far as I know, is from Veal or Vegetable stock, which takes days to prepare. Days. Any alternatives to MSG, still contain the "G" part. Just not the MS =). Just thought I'd educate yo bitch asses
  16. The Bard
    Of course, people are nothing if not a bank of reference points. Otherwise we would never have any sense of personality. Buuuut, I just think there's that fundamental feeling of exclusive ownership that doesn't want to bear anything that'll destroy its illusion. We've been living together in the same room for 1 1/2 years, and self-centered as people are, its hard to bear any inkling of someone else bearing an important standing in their lives. I'm not really talking about myself anymore here, just people I've seen, especially people that grew up under monogamous relationships. The nature of fidelity is just so hilariously irrational to me.
  17. The Bard
    Yeah, Jimbo's about as sex-pesty as you can get. I don't think I'd have the balls to do that, without some sort of contingency...like I donno, bladed stiletto heels, or caustic pepper spray, so kudos. I'm speaking about Flinky btw, I would gladly meet anyone else in Paris. Confession time: Does anyone get morbidly jealous whenever they think of their significant others' past relationships/sexual encounters? See, my girlfriend made the mistake of telling me under the false impression that my inflamed ego could handle people having emotional commitments elsewhere =p. It used to eat at me, when I was a bit more insecure/ idiotic. I think it's just some universal egotism, and on top of that people have internalised some bullshit social conventions about sex. Still, you can't help your subconscious rearing itself and beating you down occasionally, regardless of how well in control you think you have it.
  18. The Bard
    Yeah, I guess there's a bit of a security in the internet, since you can get to know someone but there's still that physical distance. I mean, once you're around each other physically as friends for a time, that becomes established as the basis for your relationship, and its difficult to propel it towards anything else. On the internet, there's a difference between psysicality and being personal on the level of conversation and interests etc, so I guess that can be a good way to meet people. I guess bars can be fine if you're not adverse to a bit of risk, ie. not liking someone and having to tell them to bugger off. Admittedly this is harder for girls, since a lot of guys are genuine sex pests (me included) and won't leave you alone once you make any intimation of interest. Although thats why you should always go with a friend =p.
  19. The Bard
    I met my first girlfriend at a museum, second at a bar, and the one I'm with now, on the second day of uni. All three were random occurrences. You just have to allow youself the possibility of being rejected, because it isn't really that bad. If you have your eye on someone, because really, first attraction at least for me is always to do with how they look (and everyone else, unless they're dirty liars =p), you just gotta go and say hi, and start talking absolute crap in an attempt to communicate that you're into them. People are easily flattered, especially nerds =p.
  20. The Bard
    I got two absolutely awesome tshirts, a scarf, and a neckbead thingy from the gf, alcohol from a friend, another mate bought me Stalker: Clear Skies on Steam, cause I'd wanted it for ages. Pretty happy this year =3. Too bad parents don't celebrate.
  21. The Bard
    Good day of self indulgence. Waiting for tomorrow so I can go out for a few drinks with buds and watch Sherlock Holmes. Woop.
  22. The Bard
    Considering that your IQ puts you closer to a rhesus monkey than a real person, I don't think the vetenarian would have any problem neutering you. This is most hopeful thought I've had all day. As for dreams... has anyone ever actually had a...er...sticky situation? No? Good. Me neither. Apart from once. My dreams are too weird, and unfortunately I know what most of them mean anyway, so I will not be posting them here. They're just sublimations of your unconscious mind resolving, or often times just fucking with conscious fears, observations or agitations. Such as the time where I went to a water park with my family and my girlfriend, resolving two long standing wishes that I've had: To go to a waterpark being number one on my list of priorities, and to admit to my family that I have a girlfriend of one and a half years that I love; someone that they should accept and welcome with open arms. My family ended up throwing seal pups at me though, and I have no idea what that means.
  23. The Bard

    Sup bitch, how you been? Long time no talk =)

  24. The Bard
    Goddamn the Marshall Mathers LP. Just heard the, quite frankly terribly impotent Lil Wayne Track Pick The World Up, and Eminem just totally destroys it even though he's only in it for like 20 secs. So a five hour trip down memory lane later, and I can't stop listening to him. Awesome and a half, but too bad he fuckin sucks now.
  25. The Bard
    Finally got the AC-130 today. Was fucking awesome, straight after an attack heli aswell hehe. Those motherfuckers didn't know what hit them.
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