Magnus

*Marks late June on his calendar*

Minecraft has taught me that cows make more noise than all the cars in the world, so that view looks awful. I once had a teacher named Urban and he was awful and everyone hated him, so I guess I'll have to go with Rural based on that. But really I prefer living closer to things. As long as everything's within walking distance, that's fine.

That's usually what people say when they watch it.

Do you call them 'Pokemon' because the game is on the 3DS and you get to poke the Pokémon with your stylus?

Man, Barney Google. This episode got me to check the comic strip, and here's a fun fact for you: Barney Google is actually in it again for the first time in fifteen years! Well, I thought it was interesting. The character was pretty much phased out in the fifties, then he's mentioned on Boardwalk Empire and there he is! Riding Spark Plug. Except it looks like he's going the right way.

Punch stuff?

That's not a character from any game I recognize. I've always assumed that's Fused King himself looking out over his loyal video game subjects.

Congratulations on being allowed to ride a bike! Your parents must be so proud. :p

I'm not sure why you buy games that are so bad you refuse to even play them. Anyway, Dragon Age: Origins is good if you like BioWare RPGs. It's the sequel you should avoid.

Fable 3?

I haven't played Virtue's Last Reward yet and know very little about it, so I can only assume that everything in Dem0's post is massive spoilers. Just buy it online? It'd probably be a lot cheaper. And 999 is way better than what I've played of Hotel Dusk, but I only ever got halfway before losing interest, so maybe it picks up significantly.

It definitely looks more grown-up now.

At least it happened before you proposed to her. *Silver lining* But yeah, that sucks. There's only one thing to do: take the appropriate amount of time to grieve your relationship, then find someone better.

Is this your way of saying that you don't think he drew Hawkeye looking sexy enough?

Oh, come on - those box arts are completely different. He's facing the other way.

Nothing in this game makes any sense. The main non-Agency bad guy has captured Victoria and puts on her necklace again for some reason. She starts murdering everyone in the room without breaking a sweat, the boss man is standing in the same room and doesn't seem to worry that she's going to kill the person who kidnapped her. Then another guard grabs her from behind and apparently she can't fight back this time. Anyway, you'd think the Agency would just put the necklace inside of her like a pacemaker or something. As for the awful way disguises work, my favorite thing about it is how 47 completely ignores masks. Not that they'd make any difference, since enemies can see through your disguises from a hundred feet away when you're not even facing them.

You know what this reminds me of? Hitman 2: Silent Assassin. And I hate Silent Assassin. For two reasons, mainly: a) disguises are useless, and b) the save system is awful. Guess what my two biggest problems with this game were? Not that the tiny levels (probably a symptom of the improved graphics - admittedly, the game looks really good, but I'd prefer larger levels) did the game any favors. I'm sure the level designers intended for it to feel like you were playing a larger level split into smaller areas, but instead if feels like you're playing four levels where your only goal is to reach a door until you're finally allowed to kill someone. The one good thing about the tiny levels is that you're usually not sent back too far every time you have to start over. The save system still really kills it for me, though. There are parts of levels that remind me of Blood Money, where you're actually tasked with killing someone and you have to multiple ways of going about it. But it's no fun exploring your options when it means sneaking past guards in every room and you'll have to start over/kill everyone who ever lived if they look at you for three seconds. And don't you hate it when game developers wish they were writing Hollywood movies? I feel embarrassed for whoever wrote this tripe. Hitman games have never had particularly strong stories, but the increased focus on the story in this installment really highlights how terrible it is. Long cutscenes of 47 failing to kill people and the bad guys being as disgusting and one-dimensional as possible. Basically, the PC Gamer review is spot on. This is the complete opposite of what I want from Hitman, and I can't even appreciate it as a generic non-Hitman stealth game (Splinter Cell called - it wants its gameplay back) because if there's one thing I will not accept in stealth games, it's not being able to save anywhere I want. Maybe Hitman: Abortion would have been a more fitting name after all.

Major Nelson announced it on his blog about a month ago and swiftly removed any mention of it, but not before it did the rounds on the internet. And I checked GameFAQs today, and the posters there say that if you check your trophies while you're online, the game now has four trophies tied to the new DLC, so it must be coming very soon. So don't give up hope, Guy! WE MUST HAVE WALLACE WELLS.

Scott Pilgrim doesn't have online co-op, but apparently they're going to release a DLC pack soon that will add it. Two years after the game was released, but better late than never!

Or get the regular edition for free (ish) if you're a PS+ subscriber!

Yes, you're so important... to the... running of this place. *Nods enthusiastically*

Some people just want to watch the world burn and be all giddy about it.

Sleep more, work less. Geez, Ashley. It's not exactly rocket science!