Magnus

Are you a spam bot? Because you sound like a spam bot.

There are games based on Desperate Housewives and Grey's Anatomy, for anyone who wants to get their girlfriend with questionable taste in television into video games. Oh, and Project Runway. They're sure to love that. I wish I had a girlfriend. But only for co-op games. No funny business.

God, Serebii.. Every time you complain about girls not being up to your standards, you sound so full of yourself. You could at least pretend that you just don't have much in common with them or something. :p

I love how you always call him your 'cute boyfriend', like you have more than one. :p "Spent the weekend with my passive-aggressive boyfriend! Can't wait to see my doormat boyfriend again!"

Oh, come on, RedShell. We all know you're only playing New Super Mario Bros. 2 more because it has that weird button layout you love so much.

Too bad you didn't land on your face. Because chicks dig scars and I assume face scars are the most attractive kind, I mean. Obviously.

I'm playing Just Cause 2 at the moment, and that screenshot just made me wish I was playing Grand Theft Auto instead. :p Their worlds are so much more interesting to explore.

Bob the Wizard Lisa the Elf Steve the Dragon

8 is Strider. And based on the hint, 4 has to be Body Blows.

Oh, and I was going to suggest growing a beard to really save time in the mornings.

Make sure to write "NINTENDO-EUROPE'S MOST ATTRACTIVE MALE RUNNER-UP" on your online dating profile.

Keep in mind that Bard won the Most Attractive Male award on N-E, so it's no wonder that girls are flocking to him.

They just know that all guys want what they can't have.

I think we've found the future Mrs Retro!

At the very least, it's a great way to weed out anyone who doesn't like purple. Click on 'About OKCupid' in the bottom right corner and then scroll all the way down and there'll be a bunch of 'Free Online Dating' options right at the bottom. Clicking on any of those (except the sexuality ones for some reason, but you don't want to date a lesbian anyway) brings up the search and you can browse to your heart's content from there. Stalk your prey, Retro.

You can check out the profiles on OKCupid without joining, so just steal a name from there and add a 1 to it. Here are some examples: Tangerine_69 vajra5sattva mysticsoul2000 jg1578 sexysportychick disarm_the_cat The bar is set pretty low! This one's sort of funny from an N-E perspective: Jordan_Daft

I thought it was locked so you wouldn't get out?

Why go to the trouble of joining a dating site when you've got a catch (Pokémon reference) right here!

Kaytee, meet Serebii. Serebii, meet Kaytee. *Pushes them together* NOW KISS.

SO MUCH GAMING TO CRAM INTO TEN YEARS.

Waiting for Serebii to get desperate enough, you mean.

5 looks like Alien Breed.

6 looks like Another World.

But now you'll have to trim your stubble every other night instead. :p