mcj metroid Posted August 29, 2009 Share Posted August 29, 2009 Not for depressives? That film isn't even for insanely happy people. you are totally right... wow. it's pretty sad Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ReZourceman Posted August 29, 2009 Share Posted August 29, 2009 The Final Destination (The new spangly 3D one) I'm fairly certain everyone knows what to expect with this one, so I will review the person sat next to me in the cinema instead. First off, anyone who texts in the cinema should be gang raped. By bears. Ideally bears who used to be lumberjacks, or something equally as manly. It wasn't just one text either, she was texting for a good portion of the movie. I hope the combination of phone screen and 3D glasses give her eye cancer in both eyes. At some point, the phone somehow miraculously managed to turn itself off of silent too. Christ knows how the cretin managed to achieve that, but God bless her she managed with gusto. So not only did I have the delight of seeing a bright screen in my peripheral vision, I also had sound now. When she wasn't texting, she was yammering to her equally retarded friend. "She's going to die", as if it was some giant revelation. The whole film is about not being able to avoid death, course some people are going to die. I swear I saw cuts on her knuckles from where she had been dragging them around all day. I'm fairly certain she was ugly too. Maybe it was the slightly slacker than usual jaw or the excessively large forehead (or fore-swede as I like to call it). 2/10 She gets above zero for being black. White people can't completely slate black people through fear of being racist. She gets above 1 to avoid any "I'd give her one" jokes. Post...of....the..... ...Century. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paj! Posted August 29, 2009 Share Posted August 29, 2009 Edit: Don't let our love tear us apart! Love schmove. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Roostophe Posted August 29, 2009 Share Posted August 29, 2009 Another late night viewing for me, I watched My Neighbour Totoro I enjoyed it a fuck of a lot more than I did first time around! I attribute that to a number of factors: 1) I was watching it with headphones on, so that made the sound awesome. 2) I was eating some iced doughnuts at the time, which tasted awesome. 3) Original Japanese dub this time around, so Dakota fecking Fanning and her sister weren't around to cock ANY OF IT up at all. Oh, and the scene at the bus stop when Satsuki opens up the umbrella and it frightens Totoro: I lulled so hard I was crying! 10/10 To-to-ro, To-to-ro...To-to-ro, To-to-ro... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cube Posted August 29, 2009 Share Posted August 29, 2009 Charlie and the Chocolate Factory Wasn't terrible, but the old one is much better. There isn't a single reason to watch this one - pretty much everything in the old one is better. Even the special effects in the old one were more believable. It also tries to be darker, but completely fails. Instead the "dark" overtones and music just badly contrasts the rest of the film. The Oompa Loompas were also terrible - they were trying to hard with the songs, the simplicity of the old ones is why they were so great. Although I do applaud them for not even attempting to match the dark tunnel scene of the old one. 5/10 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ReZourceman Posted August 29, 2009 Share Posted August 29, 2009 Charlie and the Chocolate Factory I stopped taking your review seriously here ; Wasn't terrible Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cube Posted August 29, 2009 Share Posted August 29, 2009 I stopped taking your review seriously here ; I didn't hate it. Which is a second for a Tim Burton film (the other is Mars Attacks). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Captain Falcon Posted August 29, 2009 Share Posted August 29, 2009 I didn't hate it. Which is a second for a Tim Burton film (the other is Mars Attacks). You mean to say you've never watched either of his Batman films? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paj! Posted August 29, 2009 Share Posted August 29, 2009 Especially Batman Returns, which is brilliant. Batman is good too, but not so much. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BlackTear2009 Posted August 29, 2009 Share Posted August 29, 2009 Terminator Salvation... It's great! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Beast Posted August 29, 2009 Share Posted August 29, 2009 Needful Things Love the book and I liked the movie. It's not as good as the book though (which I expected) 7.5/10 I think I might start watching Stephen King movies. I really want to watch IT so badly, apparently it's awesome. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Coolness Bears Posted August 29, 2009 Share Posted August 29, 2009 Gentlemen Prefer Blondes (1953) Some fun from the 50's with Marilyn Monroe singing Diamonds are a Girls best friend. The story is a bit simple but funny and I liked the songs. 7/10 Resident Evil: Apocalypse (2004) Hahahahahaha. This movie is brilliant. It starts off ok then by the time that ugly beast thing comes in it takes a turn for the hilarious and it was all so over the top and cheesy and trying its hardest to be dramatic but it just doesn't work. I enjoyed watching this trainwreck. 4.5/10 Faster Pussycat! Kill! Kill!(1965) Yay! I enjoyed this. Really silly but done well. 7.2/10 The Time Travellers Wife(2009) I've not the read the book so I've got nothing to compare it to. As a movie I quite liked it but I needed something more. It often got confusing in places and didn't overly explain the time travelling aspect of what was going on. I feel it lacked serious character development. I don't feel like I got to know any of them so as the story got further in I hadn't grown attached to them to properly care what was going on but I did like the romance/family aspect of the whole film which I thought was touched upon well enough bar a slightly cheesy end.(though I did like that, so not sure why I'm complaining. :p) 6.9/10 Shanghai Knights(2003) This movie is worse than I remember. Though I last saw it when I was about 12. Stupid but some of the Jackie Chan stunts are exciting enough to watch! 4/10 Death Proof (2007) The First hour is promising but after that it doesn't goes a bit downhill. Though it's meant to be a B style movie I feel Planet Terror achieves thsi much better. I prefered the first set of characters to the second. Kurt Russel was well cast and anytime he was on screen it perked up again! Loved the end though. 6/10 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mcj metroid Posted August 30, 2009 Share Posted August 30, 2009 I stopped taking your review seriously here ; well he's right though. The new one is shit. and don't get me that " it's closer to the book" shit either .. steven king's version of the shining was closer to the book and it sucked balls tiy probably were agreeing with me but had to state my opinion on the matter anyway I didn't hate it. Which is a second for a Tim Burton film (the other is Mars Attacks). Ya i actually pretty much agree. bar those 2 I think everything else is great.( I think) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ReZourceman Posted August 30, 2009 Share Posted August 30, 2009 (edited) (I don't know what your point is tbh) but anyway, this is where I stopped taking your post seriously; steven king's version of the shining was closer to the book and it sucked balls Edited August 30, 2009 by ReZourceman Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paj! Posted August 30, 2009 Share Posted August 30, 2009 (I don't know what your point is tbh) but anyway, this is where I stopped taking your post seriously; What are you on about? It sounds you're disagreeing with him that the second The Shining was bad, and that in your opinion, it was good?! LIES. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ReZourceman Posted August 30, 2009 Share Posted August 30, 2009 I've only seen one version. And it was good. I thought...that....the Jack Nicholson one was Steven King? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paj! Posted August 30, 2009 Share Posted August 30, 2009 Fail. YOU FAIL. No. The Shining is a book by Stephen King. The film adaptation was changed a bit (not readt he book, but from what I hear) by Stanley Kubrick. So, in his fury, Stephen King arranged for a new shit one to be made exactly following the line of the book, with shit actors and it was generally shit. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ReZourceman Posted August 30, 2009 Share Posted August 30, 2009 Fail. YOU FAIL. No. The Shining is a book by Stephen King. The film adaptation was changed a bit (not readt he book, but from what I hear) by Stanley Kubrick. So, in his fury, Stephen King arranged for a new shit one to be made exactly following the line of the book, with shit actors and it was generally shit. Yeaaah I know it was a book, but I didn't know there was a second version. If he gave permission for the film, why would he be mad? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paj! Posted August 30, 2009 Share Posted August 30, 2009 http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Shining_(film)#Comparison_with_the_book He was dissatisfied with the changes he made. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Retro_Link Posted August 30, 2009 Share Posted August 30, 2009 Domino Wasn't expecting much from it but actually quite enjoyed this one. It's pretty nonsensicle (who knows if I've spelt that right, it's probably the first time I've ever typed the word!), fun, with good action, a decent enough story. Keira did pretty well, her posh voice jarred a little with the film at times, but it was ok and she looked pretty smoking of course! Rourke and the rest of the cast were good enough too. Visually I also thought the movie looked fantastic. It's a few years old now but it could easily be a brand new release. Enjoyable watch 7/10 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ReZourceman Posted August 30, 2009 Share Posted August 30, 2009 Hmmm, interesting read. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wesley Posted August 30, 2009 Share Posted August 30, 2009 Fail. YOU FAIL. No. The Shining is a book by Stephen King. The film adaptation was changed a bit (not readt he book, but from what I hear) by Stanley Kubrick. So, in his fury, Stephen King arranged for a new shit one to be made exactly following the line of the book, with shit actors and it was generally shit. To be fair... Kubrick did change a lot of stuff... and the stuff he changed basically lost a hell of a lot of the deeper meaning of the book. And casting Nicholson made the "twist" ruined because of characters Nicholson often plays. Not that I'm saying the film wasn't brilliant; it was. The book is also amazing... I'm just... er... I dunno what I'm doing. I'm just talking crap... *walks off* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
martinist Posted August 30, 2009 Share Posted August 30, 2009 Magic Kid 2 It's like if the 3 ninjas, Home Alone and a British Bulldog had an illegitimate love child 2/10 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ReZourceman Posted August 31, 2009 Share Posted August 31, 2009 Funny People Really rather excellent. More drama and less humour than his previous films, but certainly not a bad thing. Rly rly good. 9/10 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mcj metroid Posted August 31, 2009 Share Posted August 31, 2009 final destination:(in 3d HWAA!) oh god. It's better than 3 but still too samey and i MEAN samey.. there's always the same characters. Always that jock, that believes nobody and dies and horrible death. anyway 3d is nice, movie is lame. 3/10 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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