Cyber bullying

[Pancake]

Um... is it just me or is the recent furore over this a bit.... pathetic??!

 

I grew up in the 90s, and back then us bully victims didn't get "sent a mean tweet". We just got the shit kicked out of us! I got my hair grabbed and my head shoved down onto the pavement everyday after school for about 6 months. And other similar fun stuff.

 

I wish i'd been "cyber bullied" instead! That'd have been lovely!

 

I just don't understand the whole thing. Yes i'm aware young people are stupid and impulsive and sensitive, but just block or delete the fuckers sending you the messages?? You know... instead of killing yourself over it.

 

It's also being used as another excuse for government control the internet, so yah.... fuck you world.

[Rummy]

I hear ya sister.

 

I understand it's a bit mean and hurtful and all that psychological stuff, but I'd take a scatching comment over a classic beating given the choice.

 

But maybe that's the thing. Do kids get physically bullied as much now? Maybe it was so cracked down on it pushed it into the psychological realm of name calling, online anonymity, cyber bullying and trolling etc. Without a comparison maybe they don't realise how much worse it could maybe be?

 

I think the anonymity aspect is a big factor though. At least when most of us were kids we'd know where the aggression was coming from - but when you can't identify your persecutor where do you find resolution? You can't just go 'oh well I already know person X doesn't like me and that's why they're doing this' - its a nameless/faceless person and you might wonder what you've done to deserve that wrath. How do you resolve a problem if you can't identify the cause?

[Charlie]

I think it's a bit more than just sending messages though. It's a combination of online and offline bullying. Name calling can lead to far more harm in the long term than getting beaten up. It's being called cyber bullying purely because its the press trying to make news about Facebook and Twitter.

 

In a recent case a teenage boy was convinced to send naked pictures of himself to someone who promised to send naked ones back. Obviously didn't happen. This person then threatened to send them out to his whole school unless he paid him not to.

[Shorty]

I'd rather have been in a fight than have a classroom of people laughing at me over something posted online. In a fight you just hit them back. With cyber bullying it can be going on behind your back when you're not at your computer or on your phone, groups made to mock you, fake accounts used to embarrass you, pictures posted to everyone.

 

If you haven't been bulled psychologically don't be so quick to assume it's not a big deal compared to being bullied physically... Especially during those key years as a teenager when everything is so serious.

Edited August 22, 2013 by Shorty

[Pancake]

If you haven't been bulled psychologically don't be so quick to assume it's not a big deal compared to being bullied physically... Especially during those key years as a teenager when everything is so serious.

 

I have been bullied psychologically aswell. And i'd still prefer to have read the insults from a computer screen, in the safety of my house, rather than the public humiliation of being insulted in the middle of class and everyone laughing.

 

I'm not saying cyber bullying can't hurt. And i do have some sympathy in certain cases. I'm just saying it's preferable to traditional bullying, which is much more brutal and intimidating in nature, cos it's right there in your face. The bully is standing right next to you, there's no escape, your peers are watching. You're not cosy in your house on your laptop.

[S.C.G]

I do agree to a point but then I was only physically bullied not cyber-bullied... I can sort of see how it could be distressing for those who are going through it today, to an extent though what Pancake says is true, if you know these people and they are on your facebook then why not just delete and/or block them?

 

If it's not as simple as that or if people have gone to greater lengths then I don't know, but how about getting the authorities involved? Isn't that what they are there for? This has had a lot of time in the news recently so you'd think that there would be an adequate amount of help out there by now so it's silly of people suffering not to use it, doing nothing about it certainly won't help.

Edited August 22, 2013 by S.C.G

[Happenstance]

I dont think this should devolve into which is worse, physical or cyber. Both are terrible.

[Shorty]

I have been bullied psychologically aswell. And i'd still prefer to have read the insults from a computer screen, in the safety of my house, rather than the public humiliation of being insulted in the middle of class and everyone laughing.

 

I'm not saying cyber bullying can't hurt. And i do have some sympathy in certain cases. I'm just saying it's preferable to traditional bullying, which is much more brutal and intimidating in nature, cos it's right there in your face. The bully is standing right next to you, there's no escape, your peers are watching. You're not cosy in your house on your laptop.

I think you're completely misunderstanding the concept of cyber bullying.... It's not about things that don't affect the real world, bullying of an online persona that you can get away from just by changing your username or closing your laptop. It's normal bullying, involving your peers, people you see every day at school, but it takes place on a screen and then follows you around in the real world.

[Pancake]

I think you're completely misunderstanding the concept of cyber bullying.... It's not about things that don't affect the real world, bullying of an online persona that you can get away from just by changing your username or closing your laptop. It's normal bullying, involving your peers, people you see every day at school, but it takes place on a screen and then follows you around in the real world.

 

And that's a case in which i would have sympathy. I was referring more to those cases like that recent askfm one, where if i'm not mistaken basically a girl killed herself over anon trolls insulting her on a question and answer site. I mean, wtf?? Maybe i don't know all the details, but i've heard so many similar stories like that, which WERE contained online. Just anonymous internet trolls who the victim didn't even know, and which could've easily been resolved just by using block/report functions. It's those cases that i have no sympathy for.

[Rummy]

I'd rather have been in a fight than have a classroom of people laughing at me over something posted online. In a fight you just hit them back. With cyber bullying it can be going on behind your back when you're not at your computer or on your phone, groups made to mock you, fake accounts used to embarrass you, pictures posted to everyone.

 

If you haven't been bulled psychologically don't be so quick to assume it's not a big deal compared to being bullied physically... Especially during those key years as a teenager when everything is so serious.

 

I don't know if this was aimed specifically at the discussion or in general, but I've had both and a bit more. I've been right on top, and I've been below the bottom, and I've seen it both ways. Cyber-bullying wasn't really a thing for me per se, as tech wise I was one of the few ahead of the general curve, so I wasn't too surprised by it plus the 'tech' at the time wasn't like it is now with social networks etc.

 

Physical bullying carries with it the psychological aspect, it's rarely just physical unless it's just a little fight and it gets left there. I understand your point that cyber-bullying is still part of the larger picture, and it follows you home, but at home you can ignore it. You can block it, you can turn it off, you can ignore it. At school, in person, you don't have that benefit or advantage. As Pancake said, it's right there in your face and you've little escape - possibly not even until the bell at the end of the day. The bullies can see you, and they can see your reaction, they can see their effects.

 

Cyber bullying might still affect you, despite the ability to try to ignore/block etc - but there the bully isn't THERE, they aren't necessarily seeing the satisfaction of their actions on you, and you don't have to feel weak under that pressure. You've got a bit more control on your reaction to it.

 

Of course, I approached this discussion in an either/or way, under similar impression as Pancake about the ask.fm girl. If you're getting it at school, physically and psychologically, AND at home on your computer - it's going to be worse than any single one or two of the three.

[Daft]

Having not been fully condition by society, children carry out the kindness and cruelty we've all been learned to ignore.

 

[Sheikah]

I'd rather have been in a fight than have a classroom of people laughing at me over something posted online. In a fight you just hit them back. With cyber bullying it can be going on behind your back when you're not at your computer or on your phone, groups made to mock you, fake accounts used to embarrass you, pictures posted to everyone.

 

If you haven't been bulled psychologically don't be so quick to assume it's not a big deal compared to being bullied physically... Especially during those key years as a teenager when everything is so serious.

 

Hear hear. Original post is pretty ignorant to the issue I feel. Suggesting because you got beaten up physically means people should tolerate some other kind of abuse is just stupid.

 

At least if you get beaten up physically there is more chance of something being done about it. This kind of bullying is difficult to trace back and can have far worse consequences.

[Fierce_LiNk]

Um... is it just me or is the recent furore over this a bit.... pathetic??!

 

I grew up in the 90s, and back then us bully victims didn't get "sent a mean tweet". We just got the shit kicked out of us! I got my hair grabbed and my head shoved down onto the pavement everyday after school for about 6 months. And other similar fun stuff.

 

I wish i'd been "cyber bullied" instead! That'd have been lovely!

 

I just don't understand the whole thing. Yes i'm aware young people are stupid and impulsive and sensitive, but just block or delete the fuckers sending you the messages?? You know... instead of killing yourself over it.

 

It's also being used as another excuse for government control the internet, so yah.... fuck you world.

 

I'd rather have been in a fight than have a classroom of people laughing at me over something posted online. In a fight you just hit them back. With cyber bullying it can be going on behind your back when you're not at your computer or on your phone, groups made to mock you, fake accounts used to embarrass you, pictures posted to everyone.

 

If you haven't been bulled psychologically don't be so quick to assume it's not a big deal compared to being bullied physically... Especially during those key years as a teenager when everything is so serious.

 

Two good posts, both making great posts, imo.

Bullying is still bullying, so neither one is really "better" so to speak. Sometimes you'd get a merger of the two, where something happens online which then carries on in school or work or something, which can then get physical.

What I don't like is that certain things are getting passed off as "cyber-bullying" when perhaps they might not be. Having an argument online with a friend doesn't necessarily mean that they're bullying you. I've seen it too often where people are quick to play that card. Alternatively, I've also seen people (parents in particular) be very quick to draw the bullying-card in order to get something done about a particular kid. It...can get pretty nasty.

 

I can't really agree entirely with your bit @Shorty about just hitting back. If there's a group of them and you're physically weaker, you could get your royal arse kicked quite badly. So, I wouldn't say physical is better in that respect. If it was 1v1, maybe.

[Pancake]

Hear hear. Original post is pretty ignorant to the issue I feel. Suggesting because you got beaten up physically means people should tolerate some other kind of abuse is just stupid.

 

"Stupid" and "ignorant"! Sheikah is cyber bullying me!

[Sheikah]

 

I wish i'd been "cyber bullied" instead! That'd have been lovely!

 

Sheikah...granting wishes. I'll be here all day. Ba dum tish.

[Pancake]

I FEEL VERY VICTIMISED RIGHT NOW YOU GUYS.

 

MODS PLEASE BAN THE BULLY SHEIKAH IMMEDIATELY.

[Zechs Merquise]

The point is cyber-bullying doesn't exist, because you can log out, block, delete and ultimately turn off your computer.

 

A kid being bullied in school has to sit in the classroom, share the playground and have lunch in the cafeteria with the bullies everyday. There's no escape, there's no turning off, blocking or deleting your account. The kid at school has to face the bullies day in day out.

 

The issue with 'cyber-bullying' is not that it's emotional rather than physical, it's that the person being bullied can just turn off the computer, it's not the real world and they don't have to face it if they don't want to.

[Fierce_LiNk]

The point is cyber-bullying doesn't exist, because you can log out, block, delete and ultimately turn off your computer.

 

A kid being bullied in school has to sit in the classroom, share the playground and have lunch in the cafeteria with the bullies everyday. There's no escape, there's no turning off, blocking or deleting your account. The kid at school has to face the bullies day in day out.

 

The issue with 'cyber-bullying' is not that it's emotional rather than physical, it's that the person being bullied can just turn off the computer, it's not the real world and they don't have to face it if they don't want to.

 

That's not entirely true, though. What you're saying is that there's a clear line between online and offline. These days, there isn't. Media is everywhere. What if you were in school and your mates were being shown something on a phone about what you did online, where somebody humiliated you?

 

These things can spill over so easily. People talk. They will talk about things that they've seen online, too. Naturally, they'll also bitch, poke fun at and other such things. You can and you can't turn things off because yes, you can physically turn off the computer, but you can't really control what happens on the other end. You can't define what will happen with that person who is writing that sorta stuff in the first place.

 

We had a particularly nasty incident at our school about half a year ago where some older girls got into some sort of fight on facebook. That's how it started off anyway. Then, there were nasty text messages after that, and it did spill over into her school life. Friends started to take sides, people weren't speaking to each other, insults, name calling, a little bit of physical stuff too as a result of it. It wasn't pleasant.

[bob]

I have no input to this other than that the media has taken the term 'trolling' to mean 'bullying'.

 

Trolling is completely innocent and hurts no-one. Bullying is obviously very naughty.

[Jonnas]

The point is cyber-bullying doesn't exist, because you can log out, block, delete and ultimately turn off your computer.

 

The issue with 'cyber-bullying' is not that it's emotional rather than physical, it's that the person being bullied can just turn off the computer, it's not the real world and they don't have to face it if they don't want to.

 

Except most who suffer cyber-bullying suffer this from classmates. In the end, cyber-bullying is just psychological/social bullying that follows you to your house, and logging off your computer is as effective as hiding your head in the sand.

 

I mean, the kids calling you a faggot are not going to shut up just because you logged off.

[Ramar]

Can I just say I hate how the media have started using the words trolls and trolling for bullying. They aren't the same thing a windup merchant isn't necessarily bullying or out to cause someone serious grief.

 

 

Edit - Bob beat me to it. Stupid slow phone typing.

[Zechs Merquise]

You're missing the point. Classroom bullying by real people who live in the real world spilling over onto Facebook and Twitter is no different to classroom bullying spilling over into nasty gossiping phone calls or groups of friends getting together out of school and egging someone's house. It's just an extension of real life school bullying.

 

Cyber-bullying, where someone makes a profile and gets mocked by anonymous posters that they don't even know, is something totally different.

 

Also, a lot of this 'cyber-bullying' where people get picked on is because the person getting picked on has acted in a way that has drawn negative attention to themselves. Just look at the issue of 'slanegirl'. I have ZERO sympathy. Some silly slut goes into the urinals at a big concert and starts sucking guys off and allows herself to be pictured doing so is asking for trouble. Then there's some outcry that she is being humiliated? People need to learn to deal with the consequences of their actions.

[Sheikah]

You're missing the point. Classroom bullying by real people who live in the real world spilling over onto Facebook and Twitter is no different to classroom bullying spilling over into nasty gossiping phone calls or groups of friends getting together out of school and egging someone's house. It's just an extension of real life school bullying.

 

Cyber-bullying, where someone makes a profile and gets mocked by anonymous posters that they don't even know, is something totally different.

 

Also, a lot of this 'cyber-bullying' where people get picked on is because the person getting picked on has acted in a way that has drawn negative attention to themselves. Just look at the issue of 'slanegirl'. I have ZERO sympathy. Some silly slut goes into the urinals at a big concert and starts sucking guys off and allows herself to be pictured doing so is asking for trouble. Then there's some outcry that she is being humiliated? People need to learn to deal with the consequences of their actions.

But like everyone is saying - they aren't random people you don't know. They're classmates, posting anonymously. The personal nature of the comments they make could often only be known if they knew the victim.

[Zechs Merquise]

But like everyone is saying - they aren't random people you don't know. They're classmates, posting anonymously. The personal nature of the comments they make could often only be known if they knew the victim.

 

Look, if I don't like what someone is saying on my Facebook, I can block them. I can regulate what people say on my Facebook and choose to accept who I want as 'friends'. The same is true for Twitter (not that I am on Twitter).

 

All of these social networks have ways to control who can and who can't see what you're saying and who can and who can't say things to you.

 

If people want to say things about you on a social network, that's life - deal with it. Back in the day kids would phone around slagging off other kids, they would meet up in the park and slag off the kids they didn't like. Now they do that online. Even if you banned everyone from saying anything mean about anyone online they would do just what they did when I was at school - phone each other up and gossip and be nasty that way.

 

The point here is that people babbling on about cyber-bullying don't seem to understand that online you can simply block out the things you don't like. In the classroom you can't.

 

Also, don't extend bullying into the realms of people not liking you or gossiping behind your back as that has always happened - with or without the internet!

[Sheikah]

Under those circumstances by the time you block them, the damage is done.

 

You have to remember also that you're not always able to block these people as the communication doesn't necessarily always take place on the victim's personal online space. It's so easy to say 'just block it out', but often the knowledge that it's going on is the psychological damage itself - not just the actual viewing of it.

 

You guys are presenting some really simplified outlooks on how easy it is to avoid/overcome this. If it was that easy, people would hardly be taking their own lives, would they? I'm sure just about every young person knows how to de-friend people on social media. So that really can't be a silver bullet solution.