Dannyboy-the-Dane Posted June 15, 2011 Share Posted June 15, 2011 I'm pretty sure there're thin lines between confident, creepy and "cock" though. I'm pretty sure that when I'm not being quiet and keeping myself to myself, females tend to think the latter two. Of course, but that's the trick; self-confidence ≠ arrogance/cockiness, nor is it being pushy. When you're self-confident, you don't need brag or try too hard to come onto others; when you're self-confident, you rest in yourself. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kurtle Squad Posted June 15, 2011 Author Share Posted June 15, 2011 (edited) Until I learned to love myself, I was never ever lovin' anybody else. That doesn't even make sence I've always disliked myself, but I've been in love. Of course, but that's the trick; self-confidence ≠ arrogance/cockiness, nor is it being pushy. When you're self-confident, you don't need brag or try too hard to come onto others; when you're self-confident, you rest in yourself. Na. I've never been arrogant or braggish*, so that's not it *Certainly not braggish, I've nothing to brag about. Edited June 15, 2011 by Kurtle Squad Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paj! Posted June 15, 2011 Share Posted June 15, 2011 That doesn't even make sence Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gizmo Posted June 15, 2011 Share Posted June 15, 2011 I've found myself getting a lot more success recently. My confidence has improved dramatically, and I think that has a whole lot to do with it - if you believe you've got a shot, then you do. I tend to find most of my success comes with people that I already know from somewhere else, even if its a tenous friend-of-a-friend thing, as I feel alot more comfortable approaching them and beginning to talk to them. Join a club / sport / team of some sort, where you're likely to mix with members of both sexes. That's how I've managed to turn things around, really! Cliffnote: Paj, your ability to post in every topic and yet never contribute anything worthwhile continues to impress me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frank Posted June 15, 2011 Share Posted June 15, 2011 Don't listen to him. You were born that way. Your gifs are my everything. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Falcon_BlizZACK Posted June 15, 2011 Share Posted June 15, 2011 Na. I've never been arrogant or braggish*, so that's not it *Certainly not braggish, I've nothing to brag about. Danny (the legendary) is just saying what true self confidence entails. Low self esteem is a real killer. Not just for the sake of finding a mate but in general life situations. There is a whole slew of reasons why we become like this (parenting, world-view etc), but the first thing is to acknowledge and recognize it as a problem, and then ultimately find ways to 'conquer' it. I mean I won't say I'm the MF'in Lion King standing proud over the world - I have my insecurities - but I can't be satisfied by doing nothing about them. It's all in the mind - as corny as it sounds - it truly is. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Beast Posted June 15, 2011 Share Posted June 15, 2011 Everything you're feeling right now is all in your mind, as everything is. I used to suffer from lack of confidence and low self-esteem because of my body size and such until I learned to love myself and love who I am and now that I love who I am and don't genuinely care what others really think of me, I have that confidence to go out and be myself or ask girls out on a date or whatever, though I must admit, I've not done it in a while. In fact, it's been that long, I'm starting to be a little nervous in doing it again but I'm sure it'll happen soon, just like it will for you and everyone else on this forum. As Paj! said: Until I learned to love myself, I was never ever loving anybody else and there's truth to that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Falcon Posted June 15, 2011 Share Posted June 15, 2011 It's the good old catch 22 - that girls won't talk to you unless you have confidence but you seem to lack confidence because they don't. I'm in a similar situation myself so I can't really give much in the way of advice per se, but I do agree with some of the things King V is saying. Get yourself in shape, if you aren't already. I've always had low confidence but after going the gym for a few months, it really did help (a small, but ultimately noticeable improvement) ... then I stopped when I went to uni for 8 months and lost it. Now I'm back there again, I can feel some of it coming back again. I can't change my face, but I can change the rest of the neck down if I'm unhappy looking at it. You don't have to go crazy but a little shape will help. You'll probably find you stand up right more with your shoulders out but in a more confident way that doesn't suggest anything like the cockiness you're trying to avoid. Who looks more attractive, the guy standing tall or the one cowering down? Again, it's all in the head (and my head is a complete mess when it comes to this stuff) and only you can do anything about that. People can give you all the advice in the world but you've got to listen, see what fits with you and ultimately do it. No one can make you. No one is going to stand over you and make you do these things. I guess the question is, how much do you want it? You've got a choice about every single thing in life - it's just a matter of whether you're prepared to live with the consequences of said choice. The consequence of not putting yourself out there is never getting anywhere full stop. Is that the life you want for yourself? I don't, and that's the only thing that keeps me going - it takes me a while to get over each rejection but I get there eventually. I don't normally speak too much about my personal life on here, but seeing your posts Kurtle, I felt I'd speak up as a lot of what you're saying does remind me of me and I've been me for a very long time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
killer kirby Posted June 16, 2011 Share Posted June 16, 2011 That's easy for you to say; you're good looking and fit (going by your forum pics post) Here is a hint for you, I have friends who look just as good if not better than King V who still have yet to have a girlfriend or even had sex, these guys just don't have confidence in themselves, so nights out partying, they go empty handed while some ugly son of a bitch gets a not a bad looking girl. Confidence is really all there is too it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hamishmash Posted June 16, 2011 Share Posted June 16, 2011 (edited) I feel corny for my first post in this thread, honestly. I was never looking for a relationship and one just came about out of no where and it's proved quite successful so far. Edited June 16, 2011 by Hamishmash Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frank Posted June 16, 2011 Share Posted June 16, 2011 Ok, ok! Enough about that bloody dog! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
killer kirby Posted June 16, 2011 Share Posted June 16, 2011 Ok, ok! Enough about that bloody dog! Agreed, we need to talk more about the pussy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tapedeck Posted June 16, 2011 Share Posted June 16, 2011 (edited) 2 years ago I dedicated time to becoming a social powerhouse with women and collected more phone numbers, had more dates and random meets than I ever thought possible. I now have a stunning relationship with a girl who is such a brilliant person. A girl who deserves me. Society tells us to be one way, such as monogamous but your life should be what makes you happy. No-one will ever judge you, not now or ever. Only you can judge you so don't fear anything, don't worry about the things you can't do. (Worries are just areas of your life you want to develop - otherwise you wouldn't be talking about them so passionately). The trick is to believe you are already what you want and go out and (in the words of Nike 'just do it'). If you keep thinking it's not who you are you're adding more power to the 'I can't. Wouldn't NOW be a good time to start living the life you want? Remember: Whether you think you can or you think you can't. You're always right. If you think you can go out there and be a confident social confident guy who gets phone numbers in 30 seconds or builds loving relationships having created stunning connections with others you can do it. If you keep saying you can't well guess what: the universe/subconscious/higher self etc will say 'your wish is my command'. Sidenote: Be mindful of your beliefs they form the actions you take and thus the results you get in your life. To do this seek the things you want and then persevere. Perseverance is the measure of a persons want. Start small but move forwards at all times so talk to people asking them about their weekend plans/tv shows/gossip. I always ask folk (not just women) if they have any gossip/rumours for me. (indicates they have social value and are in 'the loop'). Just be fun with it and enjoy the moment knowing you are improving. By investing in yourself and showing this kind of self awareness you've already demonstrated that you have the capability to not only take the first step but to walk the entire journey. Edited June 16, 2011 by tapedeck Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dannyboy-the-Dane Posted June 16, 2011 Share Posted June 16, 2011 If you keep saying you can't well guess what: the universe/subconscious/higher self etc will say 'your wish is my command'. I'd argue it's purely psychological, but in either case it's completely true. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Bard Posted June 16, 2011 Share Posted June 16, 2011 Ü are my hair. Ü are my...Chair? BAAARD I LOVE YOU BARD WOOOO OVER HERE BARD! BARD! HEY BARD! HEEEEY! Come to the meet, I found this cool blind spot behind a tree where I can whisper sweet nothings and play with your hair. Don't worry, nobody will find/ approach us, on account of last years many territorial pissings. I didn't realise you and her had broken up, when did this happen?! *sends man love* Beginning of April, its all good though, except for the fact that going out with someone very attractive for a few years tends to raise your expectations . Much love dawg. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Raining_again Posted June 16, 2011 Share Posted June 16, 2011 I'm happy being single Genuinely happy now, rather than years previous where I pretended but I really wasn't I'm having fun and I don't think I could fit a man into my life :P Would have to be a relationship that wasn't a daily commitment I wouldn't be able to do my spin classes and personal training! Maybe I should go out with a personal trainer.... hmmmmmmmmm. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eenuh Posted June 16, 2011 Share Posted June 16, 2011 I'm happy being single Genuinely happy now, rather than years previous where I pretended but I really wasn't I'm having fun and I don't think I could fit a man into my life :P Would have to be a relationship that wasn't a daily commitment I wouldn't be able to do my spin classes and personal training! Maybe I should go out with a personal trainer.... hmmmmmmmmm. Go long distance Raining! It's perfect! I only have to put up with Jim for one week every 6 weeks. =D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Raining_again Posted June 16, 2011 Share Posted June 16, 2011 hahaa brilliant idea :p What will you do if you ever move in with him.... I imagine he'd be hard work all of the time :p Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eenuh Posted June 16, 2011 Share Posted June 16, 2011 hahaa brilliant idea :p What will you do if you ever move in with him.... I imagine he'd be hard work all of the time :p We've already sorta decided we need a two bedroom place... I think I would need that extra bedroom for myself. Need a place to hide from him from time to time! =P Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fierce_LiNk Posted June 16, 2011 Share Posted June 16, 2011 What have I stepped into?! This thread hurts me deep(er). And Wider. I have had awesome feedback from people I've lived with! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fresh Posted June 16, 2011 Share Posted June 16, 2011 Slight thread hijack: Just wondering Flink/Eenuh what's the longest you guys have not spoken for at times? an how that made you feel? (Assuming all is well now) Mostly for my own long distance comparative reasons, I do understand all situations are different blah blah blah. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jayseven Posted June 16, 2011 Share Posted June 16, 2011 I know you didn't ask me; I was roughly 260 miles away and we would text daily, and speak on the phone most nights. There are others who have cross-atlantic relationships, but I imagine the distance, if anything, forces even more interaction. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eenuh Posted June 16, 2011 Share Posted June 16, 2011 Eh Jim and I just chat on msn pretty much daily. No phonecalls or anything. Longest we've gone with no talking... a few days? Maybe a week or so. Though usually there's at least one txt sent per day then I guess (unless there's been an argument, then there's nothing at all haha). I don't know, I don't feel too different when we don't talk. It's not like I'm going "OMG I miss youuuu soooooo muchhhhhhhh!". =P Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fierce_LiNk Posted June 16, 2011 Share Posted June 16, 2011 Eh Jim and I just chat on msn pretty much daily. No phonecalls or anything. Longest we've gone with no talking... a few days? Maybe a week or so. Though usually there's at least one txt sent per day then I guess (unless there's been an argument, then there's nothing at all haha). I don't know, I don't feel too different when we don't talk. It's not like I'm going "OMG I miss youuuu soooooo muchhhhhhhh!". =P Yeah, it's been a few days, at the most. Maybe 3. But then, there will be times where we'll chat to each other, but not for long as it may be late, or we'll both be busy or something. We keep in contact daily, the majority of the time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fresh Posted June 16, 2011 Share Posted June 16, 2011 I know you didn't ask me; I was roughly 260 miles away and we would text daily, and speak on the phone most nights. There are others who have cross-atlantic relationships, but I imagine the distance, if anything, forces even more interaction. Well the more the better so any input is great so you're more than welcome. I'm just wondering, as i said, for my own comparative reasons and it's certainly a situation I don't want to find my self in again after now and must remain focused on whats at the end, something worth it. I suppose, and I don't know if you had this as well but there seems to be good and bad patches mostly due to breakdowns in communication and the inability to express what you mean in 160 characters. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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