Love? Relationships? Boy girl stuff? Complaints and appraisals! Gifs be welcome.

[Ashley]

I photographed a wedding last night and my favourite couple were there, who are my friend I used to work with, his wife and their two kids (who call me uncle/I'm godfather to one). They've been married for six years in October (and he's only six months older than me, little scary) and together for eight or nine. You can just feel the love between them and they have such a great relationship (as in friendship and love). It's so nice just being in their company and literally feeling the love.

 

I think it would be nice to have that kind of thing one day.

 

Thought I'd share.

[Charlie]

Yeah, You could like and pretend to like that stuff but you should find something you actually have in common and then talk about that. You can still let the other person do the talking if you're happier to be the listener but obviously Charlie just wants a girl who will always want him to talk about himself :p

 

Too right I do!

 

But in all seriousness. If you're a girl, the advice that my gran gives is to ask a guy about himself and you'll never run out of things to talk about. I've since reversed that and say if you're a guy, ask a girl about herself and there'll always be things to talk about.

[Jon]

Too right I do!

 

But in all seriousness. If you're a girl, the advice that my gran gives is to ask a guy about himself and you'll never run out of things to talk about. I've since reversed that and say if you're a guy, ask a girl about herself and there'll always be things to talk about.

 

That's awesome that your Gran gives you advice like that. Mine just tells me to speak slower.

[Ashley]

Your grandmother would have been courting sometime between the 20s-50s (depending on how old she is). The world is a very different place now...

[Charlie]

That's awesome that your Gran gives you advice like that. Mine just tells me to speak slower.

 

She also told me that it's good that I'm "playing the field" and not tied down to anyone.

 

My Gran is the most proper woman you'll ever meet, I couldn't believe that she said that.

[Kaytee]

I photographed a wedding last night and my favourite couple were there, who are my friend I used to work with, his wife and their two kids (who call me uncle/I'm godfather to one). They've been married for six years in October (and he's only six months older than me, little scary) and together for eight or nine. You can just feel the love between them and they have such a great relationship (as in friendship and love). It's so nice just being in their company and literally feeling the love.

 

I think it would be nice to have that kind of thing one day.

 

Thought I'd share.

 

This is nice, I really like hearing stories like this one

[Goafer]

Don't talk about your/their job! It's boring imo. Ask them what song would be playing in the background if aliens suddenly landed and entered the room. Make a zombie apocalypse evacuation plan for your current location.

 

Oh yeah, work is boring as shit, but it's a good starting point since everyone has/has had/will at some point have a job. It does open up other points of conversation though.

 

For example, if someone asked about my job I'd probably end up talking about my hobby since it's pretty much the same thing. Then onto urbex and exploring, then possibly travelling.

 

I think there needs to be 50/50 in terms of talking about yourself or the other person. If you can, try and share similar stories when they are talking. People who just say yes/no and nod are hard work/boring.

 

Although if someone asked me about a zombie plan, that would actually be awesome. Would probably only work on geeks though. I'd probably act it out, leaving the venue without making contact with anyone. Then I'd probably take it too far by trying to break into a Police stations gun room.

[Dannyboy-the-Dane]

Yeah, when it comes to striking up conversations with new people, the tough part is always getting them started. That's where common topics like job and hobbies come into the picture. Once the conversation is going, you normally quickly branch out into other, more interesting topics, and bingo, you're socialising!

[Dyson]

I finally finally spoke to London Girl about all the issues that have been building up over the past few weeks. I summoned enough courage up to go for it and I'm glad it's off my chest, and face to face for once.

 

Unfortunately, nothing much has changed in tersm of where we're at - we're still seeing each other, we are both aware how much we like each other, and aware of where we both stand. I wasn't expecting any sort of instant answers from her but I now know that things are clearer for both of us.

 

It was nice hearing that she refers to me as her boyfriend when she talks to her workmates and friends - part of me was worried it was a social awareness thing, but it clearly isn't. The only real question I have is.. if she can explain to other people that we're in a relationship, why can't she treat it as one internally?

 

The other thing I don't get, that doesn't sit right with me more the more consideration I give it is.. what's there to lose? I mean surely the whole finding out if you're compatible thing is something you do when you're starting a relationship anyway - and if things went wrong between us then it's not like they'd be more normal without the label of a relationship.

 

For now I'm happy that everything is out there. I'm wearing one of her t-shirts and pair of boxers right now as I didn't have a change with me last night (wasn't expecting to stay over ) and we'll be seeing each other again in the next few days. I can't complain.

[Captain Falcon]

Yeah, when it comes to striking up conversations with new people, the tough part is always getting them started. That's where common topics like job and hobbies come into the picture. Once the conversation is going, you normally quickly branch out into other, more interesting topics, and bingo, you're socialising!

 

Work, like family, where you grew up... yadda yadda, is one of them "safe" sunjects but in fact they aren't really that safe. The sooner you can get the conversation away from them the better as it's a sign you can have an actual conversation. Anyone can talk to anyone about where they gre up and work. It's not so much a conversation as one person reeling off a bunch of facts about themself. And when they run out, the "conversation" comes to a screeching halt. It's not always the case but it's definitely something I've noticed from past experience. It's not important to know that stuff about someone unless it truly defines who they are. I see work and family as things that can be filled in along the way of a relationship.

 

The only real question I have is.. if she can explain to other people that we're in a relationship, why can't she treat it as one internally?

 

Just a thought, but maybe she tells other people that you're her boyfriend/that you're in a relationship because it's really easier and invites less questions that saying how she really sees it... of which I doubt she even understands judging on what I know of the situation. If she isn't treating it as a relationship but she's telling people she's in one, that makes the most sense to me.

[Dyson]

That's pretty much the justification I had in my head too : peace:

 

Edit:

 

Edit 2 - Snip.

Edited September 5, 2011 by Dyson

[Dannyboy-the-Dane]

Work, like family, where you grew up... yadda yadda, is one of them "safe" sunjects but in fact they aren't really that safe. The sooner you can get the conversation away from them the better as it's a sign you can have an actual conversation. Anyone can talk to anyone about where they gre up and work. It's not so much a conversation as one person reeling off a bunch of facts about themself. And when they run out, the "conversation" comes to a screeching halt. It's not always the case but it's definitely something I've noticed from past experience. It's not important to know that stuff about someone unless it truly defines who they are. I see work and family as things that can be filled in along the way of a relationship.

 

Yeah, but that's why it's a good and easy way to initiate a conversation that also quickly reveals if you have more to talk about (provided you're not both too shy to actually move the conversation along).

[Raining_again]

if you aren't able to engage with them they are either a boring shit or they just aren't that interested in you... Most people will make the effort to try and find some kind of common ground to talk about if they want to talk to the person

[Serebii]

Another alternative, and this is one that I love (when I get the stones to do it).

 

Go up to them and say something completely random. Ask them a random question. Be mysterious, then walk away.

 

This adds some mystery and will usually result in them thinking about you more and they may come over and initiate things properly and will make you stand out from the crowd.

[Ellmeister]

OR they think you're weird for asking a question then walking away without hearing the answer.

[Serebii]

Well obviously you hear the answer, then leave :p

[The Bard]

Dude, everything you say is so psychedelically detached from reality.

[Murr]

Another alternative, and this is one that I love (when I get the stones to do it).

 

Go up to them and say something completely random. Ask them a random question. Be mysterious, then walk away.

 

This adds some mystery and will usually result in them thinking about you more and they may come over and initiate things properly and will make you stand out from the crowd.

 

http://www.starpulse.com/Actors/Malco,_Romany/Videos/?vxChannel=&vxClipId=&clip_id=RC0lZ169VrZPascTaoVFzw&video_title=The+40+Year-Old+Virgin+-+Clip+-+Just+Ask+Questions

[Serebii]

Dude, everything you say is so psychedelically detached from reality.

Of course! Why would I stick to reality? Reality is boring

[chairdriver]

Of course! Why would I stick to reality? Reality is boring

 

Reality is actually really interesting though, if you let it be.

 

Like, pick up a book on special relativity or quantum mechanics. Talk to a pagan tarot reader, or a person that lives and sees day-to-day life in a different way to you. Take a course on utopian politics. Take some great drugs.

[Kaytee]

This is probably quite a common question, but what do you do if you realise you have feelings for a close friend? If you think there could be something there, do you tell them or do you keep quiet in case everything becomes a bit awkward?

 

I've been in this situation once before but I was just wondering what other people thought about it.

[Ville]

This is probably quite a common question, but what do you do if you realise you have feelings for a close friend? If you think there could be something there, do you tell them or do you keep quiet in case everything becomes a bit awkward?

 

I've been in this situation once before but I was just wondering what other people thought about it.

 

Well, I've always told them pretty fast. One-sided "crushes" thus far...so definitely helped me get over the situation much faster.

[Raining_again]

I usually can't "hold my water" (as the saying goes) about these kind of things. I am by nature a very open book which is a curse most of the time! I usually have to tell them before i go mad :p

[Serebii]

It's really iffy. What you need to do is try and guage their feelings and then go from there. Sometimes, it's worth the risk

[EddieColeslaw]

This is probably quite a common question, but what do you do if you realise you have feelings for a close friend? If you think there could be something there, do you tell them or do you keep quiet in case everything becomes a bit awkward?

 

I've been in this situation once before but I was just wondering what other people thought about it.

 

What Serebii said. Spend more time with them, see if they do/might grow to feel the same!