Beast Posted November 1, 2012 Posted November 1, 2012 I think it's great that you're enjoying talking to her and there's nothing wrong with that at all but my advice on the situation, take it or leave it, is to not ensure you don't get too attached. She lives in a different country and realistically you're not going to meet her any time soon. She could easily disappear just as quickly as she appeared. Yeah, I see what you're saying. I gathered it could happen and the same could happen with me to her as well so I'm thinking she might be thinking the same way too. As I said, it's just a real shame she doesn't live any closer. Thanks for the advice though
Diageo Posted November 1, 2012 Posted November 1, 2012 My girlfriend bought me Assassin's Creed III for no reason. She's amazing, I was so looking forward to this game.
Magnus Posted November 1, 2012 Posted November 1, 2012 Promise me you'll make a post about her reaction when you finally tell her you don't love her. Bonus points if you film it on your phone and put it on YouTube.
Diageo Posted November 1, 2012 Posted November 1, 2012 She knows I don't love her. I told her when she drunkenly told me she loves me. But with all this food and games that she's buying me, I'm warming up a bit.
drahkon Posted November 1, 2012 Posted November 1, 2012 Something is going seriously wrong. I only have 4 days left until I move away again for work and then I won't have a single hour of free time for a couple of weeks because I need to study a lot. My girlfriend knows that which is why I thought we would spend at least one or two days together before I leave. But she has different plans. Tonight she's going out with friends (I'm not allowed to come), tomorrow she has to work (that's fine), on Saturday she's also away with friends (again, I'm not allowed to join) and on Sunday I have to leave early. I've changed so much after she broke up with me, after she gave me a second chance. I feel like I'm a new person, and it feels good. I'm much more comfortable with the person I am now than with the way I have been before. And I changed because of her, because I didn't want to lose her again. Now it seems that even that isn't enough. It may sound selfish but after everything I did I kind of wish that she gives me something in return. A sign that she wants to keep this relationship alive, even though it's a difficult time. Maybe I want to much...maybe I can't give enough...maybe I'm just not a relationship-guy. Don't know. I'm sad
ReZourceman Posted November 1, 2012 Posted November 1, 2012 Honestly? She sounds like a bit of a nightmare.
Magnus Posted November 1, 2012 Posted November 1, 2012 Buy her food and games and maybe she'll warm up to you.
drahkon Posted November 1, 2012 Posted November 1, 2012 Honestly? She sounds like a bit of a nightmare. Reading my post again, she kinda does. But it actually isn't as nightmarish at is sounds. We've been through times like this. A year ago I had a lot to do at work, learning all the time, having exams and all that. She had the problem, too. But we still found time on weekends. Now it's different. I really don't know why. The last two weeks I've been happy, and she told me she has been happy as well. We had lots of fun, we felt great when we were together. And now that I'm getting closer to moving away for work, everything changes. It's sad that I think it's her fault. That she might give up on us. Again, it sounds really selfish to only find the mistake with her, but right now I can't find anything I did wrong. Whenever I bring that topic up, she tells me that I misjudge her and our situation. Everything is fine for her. Buy her food and games and maybe she'll warm up to you. Maybe I should try dating a cat.
Dannyboy-the-Dane Posted November 1, 2012 Posted November 1, 2012 To be honest it does sound like she's given up on the relationship. Also, while I don't know the details and thus can't comment specifically, it always worries me when people say they've changed for someone. Surely you shouldn't have to change who you are just to suit someone else? If you're truly happy with the "new" you, if you feel you've become a better version of yourself, that's great. But if you've only changed for her and not for yourself, you have to ask yourself if you're being honest and true to the real you, the you that you want to be.
drahkon Posted November 1, 2012 Posted November 1, 2012 Surely you shouldn't have to change who you are just to suit someone else? That's true, but I didn't just do it for her/us. I realized that I was a pretty bad person (wow, that sounds weird) and I needed to change. Not for her sake, not for the relationship's sake. I have always been a serious person, someone who rarely laughed, didn't (want to) have a lot of fun. Now I found out that fun is actually pretty great That's why I changed, and it helped with the relationship as well. But if you've only changed for her and not for yourself, you have to ask yourself if you're being honest and true to the real you, the you that you want to be. The thing is, I don't really know what "the real me" is. Sounds like a line straight out of a movie, but it's true. In the past few weeks I've come closer to finding out, I guess. To be honest it does sound like she's given up on the relationship. Maybe. She still tells me that she wants to spend time with me, though. But I guess actions speak louder than words.
Dannyboy-the-Dane Posted November 1, 2012 Posted November 1, 2012 I'm glad to hear you're thinking about who you want to be, because that suggests you're doing it right. I don't know if she's given up on the relationship. None of us do. Maybe she doesn't even know herself at this point. I just hope you two figure it out so you don't have to go on in uncertainty, because that's not healthy for either of you.
drahkon Posted November 1, 2012 Posted November 1, 2012 I'm glad to hear you're thinking about who you want to be, because that suggests you're doing it right. Sometimes I become a bit frustrated that I still haven't figured out who I want to be/who I am. But hell, I'm young. There's plenty of time I just hope you two figure it out so you don't have to go on in uncertainty, because that's not healthy for either of you. You're right. I think we have to talk about the situation, otherwise it will slowly come to a painful end.
Dog-amoto Posted November 1, 2012 Posted November 1, 2012 (edited) I have always been a serious person, someone who rarely laughed, didn't (want to) have a lot of fun. Edited November 1, 2012 by Dog-amoto
Raining_again Posted November 2, 2012 Posted November 2, 2012 Oh my freakin god. I was over at friends house last night, his brother is slimgate (the one who'd date me if I was skinny). He isn't normally very social, if I was ever over at their house I was the one always making the effort to go speak to him. Anyway...I was having a laugh with slimgates bro, we played some games and just generally caught up. Slimgate came downstairs and offered to make me a cup of tea. That was ok, and he sat in with us for a while (abnormal for him) and I just felt generally a bit crap in his company but by fuck was I letting on, noooo way. later on both me and slimgates bro were leaving to go out (me back home with sister and he was going out with his mate). So slimgate got in silly business hugging his brother as if to say don't leave meeeeee. I've seen this many times before, he does it so it's not a big deal for him to hug me. I just stood there in shock as he grabbed hold of me... I went to bed with his scent on my neck (he leaned right into my flesh for the love of god) and I was completely pissed off. Of course because I could smell him I had nothing but dreams about him too. Fuck this is punishing. I dislike him and I dislike my stupid feelings I get nothing but shit one worded texts from him most of the time, like he really can't be arsed with me, then he's all huggy and yick in person. Is it just me or is that kind of really personal contact a bit odd between a guy and a girl who aren't particularly friendly, and when the guy is seeing someone else?
Beast Posted November 2, 2012 Posted November 2, 2012 Oh my freakin god. I was over at friends house last night, his brother is slimgate (the one who'd date me if I was skinny). He isn't normally very social, if I was ever over at their house I was the one always making the effort to go speak to him. Anyway...I was having a laugh with slimgates bro, we played some games and just generally caught up. Slimgate came downstairs and offered to make me a cup of tea. That was ok, and he sat in with us for a while (abnormal for him) and I just felt generally a bit crap in his company but by fuck was I letting on, noooo way. later on both me and slimgates bro were leaving to go out (me back home with sister and he was going out with his mate). So slimgate got in silly business hugging his brother as if to say don't leave meeeeee. I've seen this many times before, he does it so it's not a big deal for him to hug me. I just stood there in shock as he grabbed hold of me... I went to bed with his scent on my neck (he leaned right into my flesh for the love of god) and I was completely pissed off. Of course because I could smell him I had nothing but dreams about him too. Fuck this is punishing. I dislike him and I dislike my stupid feelings I get nothing but shit one worded texts from him most of the time, like he really can't be arsed with me, then he's all huggy and yick in person. Is it just me or is that kind of really personal contact a bit odd between a guy and a girl who aren't particularly friendly, and when the guy is seeing someone else? I think it's a little odd. I mean, I've never known anything like that before. I say ignore him and move on and get a better man!
Raining_again Posted November 3, 2012 Posted November 3, 2012 Hahaha thank you that made me laugh <3 I still feel freakin awful about slimgate, the weak part of me wants him so much I sent him a text asking if it would be inappropriate if I asked to spend some time with him, and he hasn't replied.... Rejection... Yay lol. Oh well, time to move on. At least I know for sure. When we were close it used to be me that had to come to him, he never wanted to go out anywhere, god forbid being seen in public with me! Now I hear he's away out with this girl, and taking wine with him, when he refuses to drink himself. (which was noteworthy enough that his brother mentioned it) yet he sends all these confusing messages in person. Probably a good idea just to pretend he doesn't exist from now on!!
Dannyboy-the-Dane Posted November 3, 2012 Posted November 3, 2012 I believe I speak for most of us when I say this: Slimgate is a fucking douchenozzle.
The Bard Posted November 3, 2012 Posted November 3, 2012 I definitely know what it's like to be hung up over a single person for a long period of time, even when you know it's bad for you. Shit, I still haven't gotten to the point where my last relationship doesn't colour the way I see romantic prospects. Fuck that guy though. He's just fucking with you for personal validation; he's not in a place where he can make a relationship work, so you should be fucking stoked that you're not in that position.
Jav_NE Posted November 3, 2012 Posted November 3, 2012 My girlfriend bought me Assassin's Creed III for no reason. She's amazing, I was so looking forward to this game. Marry her! Reading my post again, she kinda does. But it actually isn't as nightmarish as it sounds. If she hasn't got the time for you knowing you're leaving then she really doesn't care in my opinion. Unless those nights out with friends were special and pre arranged for a long time. I believe I speak for most of us when I say this: Slimgate is a fucking douchenozzle. Seconded! Things are going well with my girl, had an incredible night last night, went to the cinema, played pool, air hockey and then went drinking and dancing. This girl drives me crazy, I had a boner half the night, not easy to conceal at the best of times! Hope i dont have the same problem tomorrow at Alton Towers, that could be problematic!
Raining_again Posted November 4, 2012 Posted November 4, 2012 I definitely know what it's like to be hung up over a single person for a long period of time, even when you know it's bad for you. Shit, I still haven't gotten to the point where my last relationship doesn't colour the way I see romantic prospects. Fuck that guy though. He's just fucking with you for personal validation; he's not in a place where he can make a relationship work, so you should be fucking stoked that you're not in that position. Right on the money... It's freakin awful when someone has that kind of effect on you. I was into him for a good year, if not more. I had gotten over it for a while but it's always gonna be hard when they find someone else. Just sorta threw me back for a while. If he had been a complete wanker in person and completely ignored me I would have probably been ok. I think he knows this though. He always did enjoy the attention even when he had no interest in taking things further.... Just keeping me hanging on to validate himself... Like you say
Beast Posted November 4, 2012 Posted November 4, 2012 Slimgate is a stupid-ass twat features! You're worth thousands of him! You'll fnind someone better ouut there somewhere! (Sorry if I have spelt anything wrong, I'm on my phone, PC messed up...touchscreens are a bitch!)
Raining_again Posted November 4, 2012 Posted November 4, 2012 I've decided to fuck with them all. I'm holding my head high and moving on. Not going to be a bitch about it but making myself less available. I'm worth more than being a desperate loser. Pft. I've put out the offer of spending time with him and if he doesn't respond that's his loss.
MoogleViper Posted November 4, 2012 Posted November 4, 2012 I had gotten over it for a while but it's always gonna be hard when they find someone else. Just sorta threw me back for a while. The fact that your emotional response was to be annoyed shows that you are over him (at least romantically).
Charlie Posted November 4, 2012 Posted November 4, 2012 Things are going well with my girl, had an incredible night last night, went to the cinema, played pool, air hockey and then went drinking and dancing. This girl drives me crazy, I had a boner half the night, not easy to conceal at the best of times! Hope i dont have the same problem tomorrow at Alton Towers, that could be problematic! I have it on good authority (Reddit) that women take boners as a compliment.
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