The Bard Posted September 6, 2011 Posted September 6, 2011 Get them catatonically drunk and then ask them to sign a complicated waiver ensuring they can't take legal action for any sexual acts you might impose upon them.
Serebii Posted September 6, 2011 Posted September 6, 2011 Get them catatonically drunk and then ask them to sign a complicated waiver ensuring they can't take legal action for any sexual acts you might impose upon them. And I'm the one detached from reality? :P
Kaytee Posted September 7, 2011 Posted September 7, 2011 It's a bit complicated though. We tried going out when we were 18 as we both liked each other but it didn't work out and made things pretty awkward for a while, not only between us but with our other friends as well. Now we're both 22, we've changed and grown up and I can't help but feel it would work this time. Even a few of our friends have noticed things lately, saying how we bicker like we're a couple and they wouldn't be surprised if one day we did say we were going out. I guess the only thing I can do is ask.
Captain Falcon Posted September 7, 2011 Posted September 7, 2011 It's a bit complicated though. We tried going out when we were 18 as we both liked each other but it didn't work out and made things pretty awkward for a while, not only between us but with our other friends as well. Now we're both 22, we've changed and grown up and I can't help but feel it would work this time. Even a few of our friends have noticed things lately, saying how we bicker like we're a couple and they wouldn't be surprised if one day we did say we were going out. I guess the only thing I can do is ask. If you leave it, you risk your feelings becoming stronger and making any rejection/group scenarios worse if it doesn't go the way you hope. Also, if they find someone too, that will be painful if they don't know how you feel. Not only because you missed your chance to say something but because they will act in a way that may unintentionally hurt you because they aren't aware of your feelings. And if he isn't interested, it will stop you getting your hopes up and allow you to move on easier. Bringing it up sooner rather than later will also give you less time to think about it and make it more complicated in your head which will lead you to fumble your words. You will either come out with an epic speach (and overwhelm the guy) or choke on your own words. Speaking now, you can make it sound more casual enabling for easier damage limitation if worst comes to worst. But if he is up for it, then bingo.
Magnus Posted September 7, 2011 Posted September 7, 2011 If Friends has taught me anything, it's that the pining is the best part.
Beast Posted September 12, 2011 Posted September 12, 2011 Okay guys so I'm really feeling down in the dumps at the moment but I'm hoping you guys can make me feel a little better. So today, at work, I saw one of the most beautiful girls I've ever seen. We both smiled and everything was going okay. We didn't exactly chat or anything but we said hello and I helped her out and stuff and she smiled at me. I was happy. And then I saw my co-worker saying he likes her too and he's better-looking and better-built than me and stuff and at that moment, I felt like shit really. I know I may or may not see her again (she handed in a CV) and she may not be interested in me or may have a boyfriend but I can't help but shake the feeling that no girl would be interested in me anyway, which is kind of weird because I'm usually full of confidence. I don't know what to do with this feeling, I can't shake it off. I'm usually happy-go-lucky and optimistic but right now, I just feel pretty low. I know that most of this is because of my body weight and how unhappy I am with it but I need to ask girls of this forum, does body weight really matter to you or does personality matter to you more? Sorry about this, I'm not usually depressing but yeah...feeling down....HELP!
EddieColeslaw Posted September 12, 2011 Posted September 12, 2011 I don't know what to do with this feeling, I can't shake it off. I'm usually happy-go-lucky and optimistic but right now, I just feel pretty low. I know that most of this is because of my body weight and how unhappy I am with it but I need to ask girls of this forum, does body weight really matter to you or does personality matter to you more? Sorry about this, I'm not usually depressing but yeah...feeling down....HELP! Weight is easy imo - if you really want something that's dependent on your weight, find a way to to change it (whether it be losing weight, or building up). I'm not saying to develop a full-blown eating disorder, but a sensible diet and regular exercise will benefit anyone in the long run. The primary concern is if it makes you feel good (health-wise) - if yes, then do it. If you start getting sick/weak/tired/unhappy because you're pushing yourself too much, stop. Are you actually overweight, or just feel bad compared to the other guy? To answer your question, weight does matter to an extent (if someone is morbidly obese without medical/mental conditions etc. impacting their weight, I can't help but think that they might just be lazy, and I'm not attracted to laziness), but personality matters much much more when taking the whole person into account. But that's just to me. Cheer up soon Dazz
Goafer Posted September 12, 2011 Posted September 12, 2011 I don't know what to do with this feeling, I can't shake it off. I'm usually happy-go-lucky and optimistic but right now, I just feel pretty low. I know that most of this is because of my body weight and how unhappy I am with it but I need to ask girls of this forum, does body weight really matter to you or does personality matter to you more? I'm always wary of asking women that question. Even if girls do say that weight/looks don't matter, I still find it hard to believe them. They're not exactly going to say "yes they do matter, now fuck off you disgust me" are they? A better way to look at it is to look around you. I often see good looking women with ugly/fat guys. They're attracted to them, so others must be too. It's just a case of finding a single one. Equally, I see guys with women that I consider utterly hideous. That's proof enough to me that what one person considers ugly can be seen as attractive to someone else.
Charlie Posted September 12, 2011 Posted September 12, 2011 I work on the theory that no one is naturally bad looking; just different. A lot of people who are overweight have features which would be really attractive (to me) if they were thinner. I personally find being significantly overweight a big turn off but on the other hand my best mate doesn't mind it at all. Every person is different in what they find attractive.
Captain Falcon Posted September 12, 2011 Posted September 12, 2011 That's proof enough to me that what one person considers ugly can be seen as attractive to someone else. Exactly. A fantastic personality is good an all but if there is no physical attraction, then welcome to friendsville. Weight is just one factor that goes into your appearance and for some, it might not be an issue but for others it will be. If you like someone on a personal level, you are more likely to be more accepting of their physical appearance too but it can't make someone you found completely plain, that you wouldn't look at twice, to suddenly become drop dead gorgeous. No matter how great someone's personality is, if they are skin and bones thin, or morbidly obese, I'm never going to find myself drawn to them on a physical level and consquently, I would never even think of them as ever being something more. Call me shallow if you will, but I'm just being hoenst.
Beast Posted September 12, 2011 Posted September 12, 2011 Yeah, I see what you guys mean. I don't know. I know I probably won't see her again but it's weirdly affected me more than I ever thought it would. It's like this guy has made it clear he wants to date her too and it's just put me in the mindframe to not even bother trying because it could most likely make my confidence go down way more if she went for him. Normally, things like this wouldn't bother me but this has and it's irritating. At the moment, I'm on a healthy diet and doing regular exercise and I don't mean to be big-headed or anything but I think I'm alright-looking but I just don't feel normal after tonight. It's like my confidence has drained or something, it's too weird. Normally, I don't really care so much about anything and I'm normally very confident but it's shook me a little and I've no idea why. If she comes back, do you guys think I should go for it and if you think I should, what do you think I should say? I've never exactly been in a situation where I ask a girl out whilst I'm working so it's kind of new to me. Call me shallow if you will, but I'm just being hoenst. I'd take honesty any day, no matter how harsh. Oh and Eddie, I'm 17st 7lb and I'm 6 foot 2. My belly's a little on the big side but my chest is small. Below my stomach is awesome, it's toned up and stuff but the top half of my body is quite fat. Hopefully, I'll be losing it by next year.
Captain Falcon Posted September 12, 2011 Posted September 12, 2011 I'd take honesty any day, no matter how harsh. I just meant in the sense of only liking a certain type of figure but then some people only like bigger girls too so would they also be shallow for basing an attraction on looks or does that not count? At the end of the day, you know what you like and there isn't much you can do about it. I'm a slim guy so bigger things seem bigger yet smaller not so much. If I was big, it would be the other way round I suspect. Now, back to your issue. You say she was handing in a CV - was she applying for a job at your place or do you work for a recruitment agency? Either way, I say, if you want to ask her out, and you obviously do, you should do it sooner rather than later. You referred to the other person as "co-worker" and "this guy" but not "mate" or "friend" - are we to assume you aren't close enough for it to have an impact on the relationship you have?
Beast Posted September 12, 2011 Posted September 12, 2011 I just meant in the sense of only liking a certain type of figure but then some people only like bigger girls too so would they also be shallow for basing an attraction on looks or does that not count? At the end of the day, you know what you like and there isn't much you can do about it. I'm a slim guy so bigger things seem bigger yet smaller not so much. If I was big, it would be the other way round I suspect. Now, back to your issue. You say she was handing in a CV - was she applying for a job at your place or do you work for a recruitment agency? Either way, I say, if you want to ask her out, and you obviously do, you should do it sooner rather than later. You referred to the other person as "co-worker" and "this guy" but not "mate" or "friend" - are we to assume you aren't close enough for it to have an impact on the relationship you have? Ah, I see what you mean and it makes sense and yeah, she was applying for a job at my place. The thing is, I don't really know what to say to her if she comes in again... Also, the guy I work with is fun and we get along really well but we're not mates nor do we see each other out of work or anything like that. We're mates in work kind of thing. I don't think it'd make an impact whatsoever if I'm honest considering, if I heard what he said correctly, he already has a girlfriend. I don't really care if it does make an impact on our friendship or whatever it is considering we only see each other in work and he already has a girlfriend (again, assuming I heard correctly and I'm 95% sure I did). It's not exactly so much him going for her I'm bothered about but her going for him, if that makes any sense. Actually, I don't know why I'm thinking like this, I've only met the girl today! pmsl.
Captain Falcon Posted September 12, 2011 Posted September 12, 2011 Ah, I see what you mean and it makes sense and yeah, she was applying for a job at my place. The thing is, I don't really know what to say to her if she comes in again... Also, the guy I work with is fun and we get along really well but we're not mates nor do we see each other out of work or anything like that. We're mates in work kind of thing. I don't think it'd make an impact whatsoever if I'm honest considering, if I heard what he said correctly, he already has a girlfriend. I don't really care if it does make an impact on our friendship or whatever it is considering we only see each other in work and he already has a girlfriend (again, assuming I heard correctly and I'm 95% sure I did). It's not exactly so much him going for her I'm bothered about but her going for him, if that makes any sense. Actually, I don't know why I'm thinking like this, I've only met the girl today! pmsl. So the other guy is really just some guy... and so we can establish then that much like you feel no allegiance to him, he likely doesn't feel any to you and your feelings for this girl wouldn't change what he does. So in that case, it doesn't matter what he thinks at all... or even if he has a girlfriend already - some people are greedy and will go after anything and everything even when they already have something. If she goes for him then there is nothing you can do about that. But if you make it known you like her before she does, at least you are letting her know you're an option if she wants it. She could have looked at you and though "he's out of my league" as daft as that may sound to you right now. As for the only meeting her today... well you have to have a first encounter with everyone who enters your life whether they be friends, lovers, mortal enemies or mere passers by - who knows what she will be. Just don't ask me what to say, because that I have no idea on that one.
Charlie Posted September 13, 2011 Posted September 13, 2011 It's not exactly so much him going for her I'm bothered about but her going for him, if that makes any sense. Thinking about it logically, the chances of this girl handing out her CV to only the place you work in are pretty slim. She probably went round loads of places and spoke to loads of different people. If she did; what would make you stick out in her mind over the others? Will she remember either of you?
Beast Posted September 13, 2011 Posted September 13, 2011 Thinking about it logically, the chances of this girl handing out her CV to only the place you work in are pretty slim. She probably went round loads of places and spoke to loads of different people. If she did; what would make you stick out in her mind over the others? Will she remember either of you? While that's true, my work does give out jobs like it's about to go out of fashion for some reason and I've actually had a couple of girls at my place who were hired after me say that they handed their CV in to a man with a nice smile and found out that that was me so I'd say my smile and the fact I was nice to her hopefully. I think she'd remember me more than she'd remember him considering I've spoken to her twice and he did once. I hope she remembers me anyway and I hope I see her again. But yeah, I can't care about his feelings after I've heard he's got a girlfriend and he's cheated on her before, it's hard to consider them. It would have been different if he was single like me but screw that guy! lmao.
Emma Posted September 13, 2011 Posted September 13, 2011 I don't know what to do with this feeling, I can't shake it off. I'm usually happy-go-lucky and optimistic but right now, I just feel pretty low. I know that most of this is because of my body weight and how unhappy I am with it but I need to ask girls of this forum, does body weight really matter to you or does personality matter to you more? Sorry about this, I'm not usually depressing but yeah...feeling down....HELP! Personally, a slim figure and a great personality are equally important to me. I know some people definitely prefer meatier guys over both toned and slim men. According to my a-level psychology, people are usually attracted to those who look similar to themselves ('matching hypothesis'). It makes people feel happier, safe and comfortable when they believe they are dating someone who is 'on the same level' as them. Would you/do you ever consider dating a girl who is similar in size to you? If so this would probably be the right direction for you to go in .
Diageo Posted September 13, 2011 Posted September 13, 2011 Another fellow Psychologist here. Loving it. I agree with ya Emma. I like girls (and guys) who are slim like myself.
Dan_Dare Posted September 13, 2011 Posted September 13, 2011 Personally, a slim figure and a great personality are equally important to me. Yeeeaaah!
The Bard Posted September 13, 2011 Posted September 13, 2011 I just like fit birds pretty much. All other considerations are superfluous.
Diageo Posted September 13, 2011 Posted September 13, 2011 When you're out, appearance is what brings the interest, and personality is what keeps it.
Ashley Posted September 14, 2011 Posted September 14, 2011 According to my a-level psychology, people are usually attracted to those who look similar to themselves ('matching hypothesis'). It makes people feel happier, safe and comfortable. Utter bullshit. I go for people who look like me because I'm fucking hot.
Emma Posted September 15, 2011 Posted September 15, 2011 Utter bullshit. I go for people who look like me because I'm fucking hot. Aha. So you're into guys who look like girls.
EEVILMURRAY Posted September 15, 2011 Posted September 15, 2011 According to my a-level psychology, people are usually attracted to those who look similar to themselves ('matching hypothesis'). Colour me the exception then. I've never been attracted to someone with the same size/mass/hair colour as me.
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