Ashley Posted March 26, 2011 Posted March 26, 2011 Audio For some reason today I seem to have been bitch slapped by a tidal wave of "I NEED TO DECIDE WHAT I'M GOING TO DO WITH MY LIFE!" My usual response to this seems to have been education but maybe the ice is getting thinner (at least for now. See you in 2020 PhD!) and I don't know. I had an idea but I think that won't pan out. Long story and I'm too lazy (and its too late considering I barely slept last night) but yeah...no idea. This course has made me realise I don't think I'm suited to be an animator which is...something. Aww fuck it.
Will Posted March 26, 2011 Posted March 26, 2011 It freaks me out too. But I think I'm at the stage where I'm the opposite of you. I know where I want to be and I work ridiculously hard to get there, with plans in place that I try to steer myself towards. I look back and think what an amazing time I was having back then, be it school, uni, London etc. But I never really just enjoy what's going on right now. Sit back and take it all in, you know? I sometimes think I'll never enjoy myself as much as I should because I've always got my brain thinking two steps ahead and planning (scheming) how I can get there. It freaks me out because I don't want to get there and think "shit, why didn't I enjoy myself when I was doing that more"
gaggle64 Posted March 26, 2011 Posted March 26, 2011 (edited) I take some comfort in not knowing what will happen, though that's probably because I know what I want to strive for and who I am. I know I'm going back to Uni and a new place, hopefully to start the next phase in life proper. After that it's all in the air, for better or for worse, and that excites me tremendously. It also helps that I know 110% I don't want to stay where I am now no matter how difficult things are liable to get by leaving. The only vague thought I can offer is just to focus on the next step - just get your course finished even if you have to limp across the finish line or if you've totally had enough take a wild stab at something else. Then you can move on to the next step after that. Things always pan out one way or the other, but you've got to allow yourself to fail. It's going happen anyway. Edited March 26, 2011 by gaggle64
The Peeps Posted March 26, 2011 Posted March 26, 2011 I'm just coasting until I win the lottery and spend the rest of my days playing video games.
Dannyboy-the-Dane Posted March 26, 2011 Posted March 26, 2011 I'm at a crossroads in my life right now: I'm due to move away from home and start the university course I've had planned for the past three years. I'm terrified as fuck, and I don't have much resembling a plan afterwards - I'm not even sure how easy it'll be for me to find a job with that degree, but I hope to become a teacher. I plan to supply with another degree or two if necessary, and there's a good chance I'll go for them anyway, seeing as I love studying. But all that's circumstantial at this point.
Will Posted March 26, 2011 Posted March 26, 2011 I'm at a crossroads in my life right now: I'm due to move away from home and start the university course I've had planned for the past three years. I'm terrified as fuck, and I don't have much resembling a plan afterwards - I'm not even sure how easy it'll be for me to find a job with that degree, but I hope to become a teacher. I plan to supply with another degree or two if necessary, and there's a good chance I'll go for them anyway, seeing as I love studying. But all that's circumstantial at this point. Believe me, you feel no different to 99% of people at this point in your life. Above all, make sure you enjoy it, you're about to hit one of the craziest, rewarding, and most enjoyable parts of your life.
ReZourceman Posted March 26, 2011 Posted March 26, 2011 I'm just coasting until I win the lottery and spend the rest of my days playing video games. This. Without the LOTTO my life will be hell.
Serebii Posted March 26, 2011 Posted March 26, 2011 You know what freaks me out? Giant bees wearing wasp costumes.
Ashley Posted March 26, 2011 Author Posted March 26, 2011 Yes. But people are different. Some people can sit around taking the future as it comes but I'm not programmed that way
jayseven Posted March 26, 2011 Posted March 26, 2011 Ashley you always struck me as someone who had the future relatively 'sorted.' I've been coasting through life for years, perennially having freakouts about a lack of direction. I guess the trick is to try and see past the lameness of the words and 'look on the bright side of life.' Even if you don't feel like you want to be an animator, take a step back and measure what you've learned, how you've developed. You say that you're lazy, yet you also like to remind us that you get up early, do some N-E stuff, get train to uni, do uni, blah blah blah! I have a friend who is truly lazy. Lazy beyond even the likes of me. He failed his GCSEs, but got a second chance when the 6th form college let him do NVQs. he then left it all to the last minute and, convinced he had failed, didn't get his results and to this day doesn't know how he did. He then spent two years doing the foundation year for an IT course at uni. Then he got the minimum to get past his first year at uni, which is unmarked anyway, and now he's on his second chance on the 2nd year at uni. He is capable, but he is truly lazy. The future freaks me out for a few reasons, but most of them are because I've envisioned where I want to be and I don't know how to get there, or the little steps that are possible now seem so minute that it never seems possible. Also; not sure if you should rely on your course for surmising how the professional realm will work. But then you haven't really elaborated beyond "the future freaks me out" in your post, so it's hard to offer any relevant help/words.
Rummy Posted March 26, 2011 Posted March 26, 2011 Yes. But people are different. Some people can sit around taking the future as it comes but I'm not programmed that way Cos you've been so on top of it all this time, right? I have done the whole future panic thing a few times, but then kinda just think...well, I didn't sort it out when I thought this before and I'm still alive, I'll just keep going with it til shit gets messed up!
Eenuh Posted March 26, 2011 Posted March 26, 2011 I constantly seem to be freaking out about my future too. I also became aware during my animation course how I didn't want to become an animator. I think lots of people figure that out during the course heh (in the end there were only 5 people left in my class). Right now I have a degree, but I'm not sure what I'm going to do with it or what I can do with it. Or if it's even something I still want to do... I seem to have lost my motivation. Also doing my teacher training course, but I keep changing my mind about whether or not I want to do that... Just broke down a few minutes ago because I just can't do it, but then I also don't know what else I could do. Stuff like this, thinking about your future, can make you realise how much time you've wasted so far and how much you've failed doing things. Bleh. Sorry, blablabla, not making sense, emotional mess.
ReZourceman Posted March 26, 2011 Posted March 26, 2011 Eenuh, you should search out children's story writers looking for artists! Like famous ones.
mcj metroid Posted March 26, 2011 Posted March 26, 2011 Me too. I'm at the end of my 4th year in a music degree pretty much designed to tip your toes int every multimedia personality. Problem with this is.. I don't know how to do ANYTHING on a professional level. The obvious idea is to do a Masters but I feel so burnt out. Even in these last few months I feel incredibly unmotivated, it's almost like a disease.. laziness I'd LOVE to travel abroad, but I need money for that.....there are barely any jobs in Ireland... so I have to move abroad. It's so awkward at the moment.
Wesley Posted March 26, 2011 Posted March 26, 2011 I don't really have anything to add. Although the last thing I think about before being able to sleep is work, and the first thing I think about when I wake up is work (usually with my heart beat going a bit mad).
Ashley Posted March 26, 2011 Author Posted March 26, 2011 Cos you've been so on top of it all this time, right? I have done the whole future panic thing a few times, but then kinda just think...well, I didn't sort it out when I thought this before and I'm still alive, I'll just keep going with it til shit gets messed up! I've been on a train and that kept me happy. Now the end of the line is fast approaching but I have no idea what the destination is. METAPHWOAAAAR!
Paj! Posted March 26, 2011 Posted March 26, 2011 Who knows? I need to get some form of work. I don't "need" it to survive atm, which is possibly why I'm so lax about it. But if I don't some form of paid experience on my CV i'll be worthless and trampled on. Dunno what I'll end up "doing". As long as it's something filmic/involved in film. I don't necessarily want to be a director.
Magnus Posted March 26, 2011 Posted March 26, 2011 I've been on a train and that kept me happy. Now the end of the line is fast approaching but I have no idea what the destination is. METAPHWOAAAAR! It's like you've been collecting badges and now you're about to face the Elite Four, but have no idea what's going to happen after that. Wait, we don't need two metaphors. That's bad writing.
Vokfets Posted March 26, 2011 Posted March 26, 2011 I thought my future was sorted until I grew up. Now I wonder what's going to happen and if I can really reach the goals that my 15 year old self set, it's a (bingo) I've held onto those goals for so long and didn't just give it all up. Those goals are for self satisfaction though, I have no idea what job I want to do but I'm on a course now which is leading me somewhere. I can only wait and see.
Serebii Posted March 27, 2011 Posted March 27, 2011 (edited) I've never really thought about the future. I take everything as it comes. I'm a freelance journalist and freelance webdesigner with a massive hobby. It's not going to last but I will survive and it's best not to worry too much about it. That said, I am starting to plan for the future. I am currently saving up for a house (since rent is wasted money) and that's thinking for the future. No goals though. I did originally want a second degree and then follow that with a Masters and a PhD, but the Labour government made that impossible by doubling the fees for getting a second degree before they got replaced by the Conservatives so that soured me a bit. However, the reasoning behind it wasn't to get a better job, it was so my name would be an eyechart Edited March 27, 2011 by Serebii
Rummy Posted March 27, 2011 Posted March 27, 2011 I've been on a train and that kept me happy. Now the end of the line is fast approaching but I have no idea what the destination is. METAPHWOAAAAR! You never got off sooner, though. Didn't you ever feel before like you'd missed your stop and wasn't sure where you were anymore?
Recommended Posts