Women not having children.

[Retro_Link]

Where are all these people you're all speaking of? I've never heard 'so many people saying it's selfish to not have children', or known people to get 'offended, annoyed' even 'angered'???

 

And nightwolf, I think you're overdramatising the situation somewhat. Perhaps in certain countries and cultures that is what is expected, but you're making it out to be a sweeping generalisation of world society.

[Ellmeister]

If a woman doesn't want to have children then that's fair enough, but I wouldn't waste my own time in a relationship with someone like that because I personally do want children at some point down the line.

 

Damn, looks like we won't work then We could have made the ultimate xpert eleven kid!

 

I saw a story years ago saying men were obsolete in the future as science will enable women to bear a child with no male input whatsoever. It was in the Daily Fail so its hardly likely to ever occur, but what an interesting turn of events that would be.

 

As for Wolfy, do what you want, no-one can force you I just think that people who usually say they don't want kids usually change their mind in the end, someone needs to carry on those genes of yours!

[Diageo]

Where are all these people you're all speaking of? I've never heard 'so many people saying it's selfish to not have children'' date=' or known people to get 'offended, annoyed' even 'angered'???

 

And nightwolf, I think you're overdramatising the situation somewhat. Perhaps in certain countries and cultures that is what is expected, but you're making it out to be a sweeping generalisation of world society.[/quote']

You were a little angered because I went against the Santa norm. :p

[Retro_Link]

You were a little angered because I went against the Santa norm. :p

Santa skipped your house one year didn't he!

[Diageo]

He did not, I always got what I wanted.

[jayseven]

Why would you want a lump of coal?!

[Diageo]

Why would you want a lump of coal?!

It's a good fuel for my furnace of hate, that I will throw Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny into.

[Raining_again]

Where are all these people you're all speaking of? I've never heard 'so many people saying it's selfish to not have children'' date=' or known people to get 'offended, annoyed' even 'angered'???

 

And nightwolf, I think you're overdramatising the situation somewhat. Perhaps in certain countries and cultures that is what is expected, but you're making it out to be a sweeping generalisation of world society.[/quote']

 

I agree to a point. We're very lucky in the society we are in! There are a lot of women concentrating on having a career first then leaving kids out of the plan altogether, or considering them when they are financially stable... My bosses bosses boss (band 7 don't you know ) is only having kids now and shes in her mid/late 30s. Not old by any stretch but she was very focused on her career first.

 

Depends in what circles you run... i find city people perhaps more accepting than if you live in a "culchy" area where people tend to have more... traditional.. views.

[Rummy]

You're a terrible person! nojkeachtotheirown

[Iun]

Bah, Humbug.

 

Mrs Scrooge and I have 80% decided not to have kids. Right now I'm studying for my PhD and once that's over in five or so years, we'll be moving to the UK to find a University for me to lecture in. By which time she'll be 40 and I'll be... thirty something.

 

I guess I've always thought of myself as too selfish to have kids.

[Arnieboy]

Better to not have kids than to live with a decision you constantly regret just because someone told you otherwise.

 

I have respect for both women who have kids and raise them lovingly and women who decide 'it's not for me.'

At the end of the day noone can dictate your life for you, it's a free country.

 

Personally, i'd like to have kids when i'm older, but if i met the perfect woman who didn't want to, i wouldn't pressure her into it.

[Goafer]

I saw a story years ago saying men were obsolete in the future as science will enable women to bear a child with no male input whatsoever. It was in the Daily Fail so its hardly likely to ever occur, but what an interesting turn of events that would be.

 

As long as there are jars that need opening or spiders that need catching with a cup and sheet of paper, we'll never be obsolete.

 

There's nothing better than opening a jar after a woman has tried and saying "You just loosened it for me". Ultimate manliness. We all know she didn't loosen it though, opening jars is mans work.

[MoogleViper]

What has it got to do with women? I would think somebody was strange if they didn't want kids no matter what gender they are.

[enchantress]

My mother was the youngest of eight children and each of her siblings had at least two children each, so I have a lot of cousins both younger and older than myself.

 

Most of them have married and had families, but a few of my female cousins have decided they don't want children and are happy with that decision. For the most part they've not experienced any negativity surrounding their decisions (surprise perhaps, but not negativity), except for one of them. She married a lovely man whom our family loved dearly, but he unfortunately passed away suddenly several years after they married. His family had always kept pushing for them to have children, but after he died they really resented my cousin for not having given him any. I can understand their grief, and their need to want to hold onto something of his, but this was a mutual decision of theirs and one I don't believe she should have been punished for.

 

I've personally always wanted children although I went through a stage not too long ago when I decided I didn't want to go through it after all. Thankfully that changed with hubby and I now having our beautiful little girl who we love more than we could have possibly imagined, but the decision to start a family isn't one to be taken lightly.

 

The bottom line is that it's human nature to be judgemental. It's nobody's place to judge you for not wanting to have a child, or to judge me for having one. Each person's life is their own to live, and if we're not hurting anyone while we're doing it then what's the problem?

 

Now if a child were being brought into the world for the wrong reasons.... that's an entirely different matter and also an entirely different subject so I'll not go off-topic .

[nightwolf]

Haha, guys, guys relax, I blew off some steam after making a touchy subject thread, I was bound to go off on one.

 

As it is sorry for neglecting the thread, the last couple of days have been a bit crazy.

 

I have a lot of people in my life who are and always have been very supportive on my decision not to have a child and that's great, nobody should ever be forced to have a child or think they should have a family or feel its the norm and it shouldn't be forced the other way either.

 

It is just a subject that has been spoken of quite often whilst I was in the middle of it and it occured to me to make a thread about it.

 

I have to say though, some views from you lot are incredibly interesting, to see someone's take on child-birth and careers. I even spoke to my parents/aunty about it last night casually, given my step-mother never really had children herself, it was nice to see how it worked out for her in a way she could be happy with (she accepted me and my sister as her own daughters after my mum died.)

 

Anyway continue, I've still got a bit of catching up to do!

[mr_bogus]

Where are all these people you're all speaking of? I've never heard 'so many people saying it's selfish to not have children'' date=' or known people to get 'offended, annoyed' even 'angered'???[/quote']

 

This...

I guess I've always thought of myself as too selfish to have kids.

...is what i've been accused of, many times.

 

I used to believe it too, until few years ago i realised if you look at it from the planet / carbon footprint perspective, and not "the world deserves to be blessed with more of *MY* own DNA", the selfishness could be argued the other way, so it's pretty subjective.

 

But in my experience, this turned out to be a volatile topic that offended many people!

[Goafer]

Ooh, just remembered a story which I always tell people, but forgot it was relevant to this thread.

 

My mum once announced that she was pressured into having a kid (IE Me). Great announcement to make on Christmas day.

 

I wish I was lying about that.

[Dannyboy-the-Dane]

Ooh, just remembered a story which I always tell people, but forgot it was relevant to this thread.

 

My mum once announced that she was pressured into having a kid (IE Me). Great announcement to make on Christmas day.

 

I wish I was lying about that.

 

Well, then you're living proof that people produce better results when they're under pressure.

[Diageo]

Well, then you're living proof that people produce better results when they're under pressure.

SHLUUURRRRRRRRRP!

[ReZourceman]

I cannot open jars and I have arachnophobia.

 

 

 

Am I a woman?

 

Actually....I'm pretty sure I don't have a vagina....if that changes anything.

[Rummy]

My mother was the youngest of eight children and each of her siblings had at least two children each, so I have a lot of cousins both younger and older than myself.

 

Most of them have married and had families, but a few of my female cousins have decided they don't want children and are happy with that decision. For the most part they've not experienced any negativity surrounding their decisions (surprise perhaps, but not negativity), except for one of them. She married a lovely man whom our family loved dearly, but he unfortunately passed away suddenly several years after they married. His family had always kept pushing for them to have children, but after he died they really resented my cousin for not having given him any. I can understand their grief, and their need to want to hold onto something of his, but this was a mutual decision of theirs and one I don't believe she should have been punished for.

 

I've personally always wanted children although I went through a stage not too long ago when I decided I didn't want to go through it after all. Thankfully that changed with hubby and I now having our beautiful little girl who we love more than we could have possibly imagined, but the decision to start a family isn't one to be taken lightly.

 

The bottom line is that it's human nature to be judgemental. It's nobody's place to judge you for not wanting to have a child, or to judge me for having one. Each person's life is their own to live, and if we're not hurting anyone while we're doing it then what's the problem?

 

Now if a child were being brought into the world for the wrong reasons.... that's an entirely different matter and also an entirely different subject so I'll not go off-topic .

 

Both my parents are from a humongous family too, but I've never considered if we're expected to have kids. If anything it takes some of the burden off of us cos the family's going to exist one way or another anyway! That does lead me onto my question I wanted to ask though, what was the family situation with your cousin's husband?

[Iun]

I cannot open jars and I have arachnophobia.

 

 

 

Am I a woman?

 

Actually....I'm pretty sure I don't have a vagina....if that changes anything.

 

Dammit, and you just drank all that Rohypnol I gave you... sigh.

[Charlie]

Personally, i'd like to have kids when i'm older, but if i met the perfect woman who didn't want to, i wouldn't pressure her into it.

 

"Oh, no, I forgot to put a condom on". :wink:

[mr_bogus]

Ooh, just remembered a story which I always tell people, but forgot it was relevant to this thread.

 

My mum once announced that she was pressured into having a kid (IE Me). Great announcement to make on Christmas day.

 

I wish I was lying about that.

 

Think of your own mindfuck to trump her with this xmas! You have 2 days to plan it.

 

No seriously, that's a horrible thing to announce, although my mom's told me about being pressured into having kids too. Apparently in her day (50s) by the time you reached 17/18 years old, everyone was constantly asking "When are you going to get married? When are you going to get married?", then as soon as she was married expecting them to be happy, they just changed to the second verse "When are you going to have a baby, when are you going to have a baby?". It wasn't until she had her first child and they went onto verse 3: "When are you going to have another one? When are you going to have another one?" that she realised they'd never be satiated and stopped caring about them.

 

Didn't stop my parents having 7 kids tho

[Guy]

I plan to father a workshop load of children, putting them to work creating a cheapy clothing empire to dethrone Primark.

 

Actually, I don't plan to have any kids. Don't blame anyone for not wanting that kinda responsibility. Anyone who judges anyone, regardless of gender, on the decision to reproduce should be handcuffed to a bear. A mountain bear.