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Overheard

MoogleViper

By MoogleViper
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MoogleViper Newbie

MoogleViper

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Inspired from an Aberystwyth based facebook page.

 

Basically what have you overheard from the public (or anybody) that's funny, interesting or just strange.

 

A few of mine:

 

 

When we first moved into our university halls (I go to Aber in case you don't know) one of my English housemates said to our Welsh housemate, "I'm glad I met you because I was hoping to meet a welsh person while I was here."

 

 

Another time two South Africans were stood at the beach and one said, "So this is what a beach in England looks like." At that moment a welsh person walked by and shouted "FUCK OFF!"

 

 

One that my brother heard:

He was in a public toilet and there was a man in the cubicle with his child. The child started singing, "Strangers In The Night."

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ReZourceman Newbie

ReZourceman

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His penis is tiny and unsatisfying.

 

Wouldn't have been so bad, but it was Claire who was saying it.

 

I was walking behind two police women and an Asian girl passed us.

 

One of the coppers turned to the other and said, "Ching-chong-wong-bong!".

 

The other policewoman just sort of stared...

 

Oh thats fucking outrageous....female police officers?!

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The fish Newbie

The fish

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In Rubix, my SU club:

Girl: Can you give us cheap drinks.

Bar Staff: I wish I could, but I can't.

Girl: Not even for me?

Bar Staff: Nope, sorry.

Girl's Very Camp Friend: Oh, go on, look at her! Plus, she has a really tight vagina!

 

In my University Library:

Guy: I'm going to South America next month travelling! I need to brush up on my Spanish and Portuguese!

Girl: This is gonna sound really blonde but don't they speak English there?

Guy: ...

Girl: Or is it African?

Guy: ...

 

My personal favourite was in Guildford 'Spoons, from a group of trainee army officers:

Guy 1: Yeah, girls always prefer to finish themselves off when they've been with me...

Guys 2-8: *silence*

Edited by The fish
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Frank Newbie

Frank

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When I was in school I was walking along the corrider just as lunch was ending so all the teachers were kinda moving around the place trying to finish up in the bathroom etc. before classes.

As I was moving my way towards the staff room where the bathroom is adjacent to, one of teachers ran out of the staff room with a devil's trident and shouted back to the teachers "Don't worry I'LL get them!" and ran away.

 

The teachers in my school are bonkers :confused:

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Fierce_LiNk Newbie

Fierce_LiNk

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Walking to the gym from work, and two teenage school girls walk past. One of them makes eye contact at me and smiles. As they walk past, I can hear behind me "Really? But his arms were so hairy!"

 

Sadface.

 

The walls between my room and my brother's room are paper thin and I can hear his conversations with his mates. It's like we're in the same room. Most of the time they're shockingly bad convos.

 

"Hey, man."

"Hey!"

"What you up to, man?"

"Nothing. You?"

"Noooothing. Just chilling."

 

There's always a pause of about 5 seconds. Every time. How he stays on his phone chatting for hours is beyond me.

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Eenuh Newbie

Eenuh

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At work today:

 

You're not going to have kids!? But what are you going to do with your life?

 

-_-

 

Although unfortunately not the stupidest thing I've heard today.

 

Without kids you can actually have a life. =P

 

You know, do all those fun things you can't really do when you have kids to look after.

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Ramar Newbie

Ramar

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Walking to the gym from work, and two teenage school girls walk past. One of them makes eye contact at me and smiles. As they walk past, I can hear behind me "Really? But his arms were so hairy!"

 

Sadface.

 

That reminds me of a time at work when there was a group of young girls and all I heard was "Pinocchio" as I walked passed. Foolishly I told the bloke I work with and its been the basis of many jokes ever since.

 

I don't even know if it was aimed me.. ;_;

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Beast Newbie

Beast

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Similar to FLink's, I was walking to the shops with my mate's sister today and there were these three girls and one of them smiled at me and I smiled back. Then I heard whispers and the one who smiled at me laughed and said:

 

"I don't care, they say when you have black you never go back!"

 

The picture of my mate's sister's face had me in fits of laughter! Made me smile for about an hour or so, haha.

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  • 3 weeks later...
Fierce_LiNk Newbie

Fierce_LiNk

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This is a thread bump. Heeeyaaa.

 

I was sat on the National Express, getting ready to go home after seeing Belgian's finest form of white chocolate. Then, I hear a phone ringing in the chair directly behind me, and a person begins to answer.

 

So, I think ahhhh, shuttttup. Let me sleep or rest or stare out of the window in peace. The manly voice starts to talk for aaages. Eventually, he hangs up and begins to talk to the woman next to him.

 

After a while, he begins to talk about his partner and keep refering to his partner as "he." So, I think, ah, thats cool. The voice did sound quite campy, so didn't think too much of it.

 

The conversation carries on, and the bloke then reveals that he has a kid. I thought "aw wow, thats cool. A gay couple with a kid." He keeps refering to his partner as the "Father" and I couldn't tell if he meant that they were...both the Father, or if the guy had a kid from a previous heterosexual relationship. So, by now, I'm straining my ears for more info. MOAR.

 

The child is apparantly three years old, and the man then reveals that he was from Bangladesh and he had an arranged marriage. By now I'm thinking WTF! A gay-arranged marriage?! This NEVER happens. Anywhere. Bangladesh? You've gotta be shitting me.

 

Moments pass.

 

I come to realise the person behind me is a fucking woman.

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Ashley Enthusiast

Ashley

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I wouldn't be surprised. Youth of today and all that, particularly the local ones. So little to do around here opening your legs is the only form of viable entertainment.

 

And not so much overheard (as I was sat right there) but someone at work a while ago during his lunch:

 

Why do KFC call it popcorn chicken? It tastes nothing like popcorn.

 

Really!?! You've lived this long with that kind of lack of basic common sense?

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Eddage Apprentice

Eddage

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This is a thread bump. Heeeyaaa.

 

I was sat on the National Express, getting ready to go home after seeing Belgian's finest form of white chocolate. Then, I hear a phone ringing in the chair directly behind me, and a person begins to answer.

 

So, I think ahhhh, shuttttup. Let me sleep or rest or stare out of the window in peace. The manly voice starts to talk for aaages. Eventually, he hangs up and begins to talk to the woman next to him.

 

After a while, he begins to talk about his partner and keep refering to his partner as "he." So, I think, ah, thats cool. The voice did sound quite campy, so didn't think too much of it.

 

The conversation carries on, and the bloke then reveals that he has a kid. I thought "aw wow, thats cool. A gay couple with a kid." He keeps refering to his partner as the "Father" and I couldn't tell if he meant that they were...both the Father, or if the guy had a kid from a previous heterosexual relationship. So, by now, I'm straining my ears for more info. MOAR.

 

The child is apparantly three years old, and the man then reveals that he was from Bangladesh and he had an arranged marriage. By now I'm thinking WTF! A gay-arranged marriage?! This NEVER happens. Anywhere. Bangladesh? You've gotta be shitting me.

 

Moments pass.

 

I come to realise the person behind me is a fucking woman.

 

You've met Jean-Claude Van Damme?!

 

I am soooooo jealous.

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