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Posted

You: hey

Stranger: hi

Stranger: where u from?

You: does it really matter to know my location to have an intellectual conversation?

You: i think it does not

Stranger: no, it doesn't

You: what's your favorite pokeyman?

Stranger: pikachu?

You: typical response

You: i'm rather fond of cubone

Stranger: err

Stranger: i'm not really into pokemon

Stranger: i was when i was like.. 7

Stranger: and hey, that's really an intellectual conversation!

You: it is

Stranger: how old are you?

You: pokeymans are serious bizniz yo

You: 20

Stranger: oh yes they are

You: i'm bored

Stranger: i see

Stranger: share a secret

You: how old are you?

Stranger: something you are deeply ashamed of

Stranger: 17

You: i once accidentily the whole bottle

Stranger: whole bottle of what?

You: beer

Stranger: like.. the glass bottle?

Stranger: you ate it?

You: the whole thing

Stranger: oh thats attractive..

You: do you have anything similar to share?

Stranger: i once masturbated with vegetables

Stranger: a zucchini

You: wait a sec, i need to picture this

You: i assume you're a girl?

Stranger: i am

You: cool

You: did you eat the zucchini later?

Stranger: nooo, ew

You: haha

Stranger: didn't feel good either

You: why is that?

Stranger: i don't know, that was food.. and i was sticking it up in my vagina

Stranger: felt weird

 

 

Holy shit. :D:D

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Posted

Connecting to server...

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

Stranger: obina

You: On a dark desert high way

You: cool wind in my hair

 

Didn't even get to the chorus.

Posted
Connecting to server...

Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

Stranger: This is Debbie from Omegle customer support, we have had recent complaints of abuse of this website by your IP address. Your address is currently logged and we will be reporting you to the appropriate authorities.

You: OMG

You: How did you know

You: Please don't kill me :(

Stranger: This is automated response. Your messages will be sent to the HQ.

Stranger: This is automated response. Your messages will be sent to the HQ.

You: ARRRGH

Stranger: This is automated response. Your messages will be sent to the HQ.

You: that's it, I need to get out of here

 

Epicana.

 

Mine:

 

Connecting to server...

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

You: Abra uses teleport

You have disconnected.

 

Epicigina.

Posted

Connecting to server...

Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

Stranger: Hey, what's up?

You: Hey, do you know where I could get some pop tarts round here?

Stranger: In the pantry

You: oh thanks

Posted

Stranger: would you like to buy a sword?

You: Ah, I'll buy it at a high price!

You: unless you're offering me a pork sword, in which I'll politely decline

Stranger: what is a pork sword? my english is bad

You: pork sword = trouser snake

Stranger: not yet

You: ok it equals as of now!

Stranger: ok, ok!

You: so what type of sword is for sale?

Stranger: but tell me, wanna buy a sword? it's a king sword, to fight dragons an stuff

You: I shall buy it from 50 rupees!!

Stranger: bye

 

 

Pork sword joke was wasted on someone who can't speak English..

Posted

Connecting to server...

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

You: a fork in the road, two identical paths, which one do you take

Stranger: right

You: thanks

You: *walks away*

Stranger: no problem

You have disconnected.

 

Connecting to server...

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

Stranger: izah?

You: no dave

You: izah is over there

Stranger: aah

Stranger: ok!

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Posted

Connecting to server...

Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

You: hi

Stranger: sup

Stranger: do you like men?

You: yes.

You: and sometimes women.

You: mainly squirrels though.

Stranger: i like dressing like a woman

You: ROKHED?!!!

You: is it really you?!

Posted

Haha reading this thread has made me laugh! :D

 

Woah that was fun just had my first go... lasted about 10 seconds!

 

Connecting to server...

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

Stranger: hey its me

Stranger: tom hanks

You: hey tom hanks

You: I'm a cat

Stranger: oh shit

Stranger: a typing cat

Stranger: really?

You: soon we will take over the world then you'll be sorry!

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Posted
Connecting to server...

Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

You: hi

Stranger: sup

Stranger: do you like men?

You: yes.

You: and sometimes women.

You: mainly squirrels though.

Stranger: i like dressing like a woman

You: ROKHED?!!!

You: is it really you?!

 

I literally shouted a laugh then.. The house is dead quiet, everyone must have heard me. xD

Posted

Connecting to server...

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

Stranger: hi

You: ha that was hilarious, did you see it?

Stranger: yup

Stranger: laughing my ass of atm

You: i wonder how he'll hide the body

Stranger: probably disolve it in acid

Stranger: thats what i'd do!

You: yeah but the smell is awful

You: i've found keeping it simple is best

You: find a nice lake or slow moving river

You: get a boat, take a picnic, you know, make a day of it

You: hey, maybe we could go together

Stranger: really?!?

You: yeah?

You: what do you like on your bread?

Stranger: yams

You: oh, makes me gassy

Stranger: can i smell it

You: you....you into that kinda thing

You: ?

Stranger: yes

You: ...

You: could it be that i've found someone

You: someone to hold me

You: some to tell me i'm pretty

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You cry

 

Ha, i'm having to much fun with this.

 

Connecting to server...

Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

Stranger: fancy some dirty talk/virtual mutual masturbation?

You: sure, but i've never done it with a computer before

Stranger: do it with me baby

Stranger: m / f

You: m

Stranger: hard?

You: nah im a bit of a push over

You: you?

Stranger: hard as a rock

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Posted

Does anyone know Polish?

 

 

You: hey

Stranger: czesc

You: what does that mean?

Stranger: nie wiem

Stranger: co to znaczy?

You: what language are you typing?

Stranger: po polsku

You: polish?

Stranger: tak

You: i like pole dancers

Stranger: ze co?

You: yeah

Stranger: kurwa

You: i think so too

Stranger: a huj ci w dupe

You: so what do you think about the economic crisis?

Stranger: sranie w banie caly ten kryzys

You: what did you just say about my mom?!

Stranger: nie rozumiem

Stranger: pisz, kurwa, normalnie

You: does "pisz" mean piss, urine?

Stranger: ja pierdole

You: cool

Stranger: pisz po polsku

You: bye mister pole man

You have disconnected.

Posted

This is fantastic

 

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

You: Don´t mind if I do

Stranger: I don't indeed

You: Sweet

Stranger: what would you do?

You: you

Stranger: straight to business. that's good

You: Let me just insert it inside

You: Keep it in for a minute

You: AAAAAAAAnnnd were done

Stranger: only a minute? I wanted a bit longer

You: Your temperture is 37 degrees on celsius your fine

Stranger: yay, no fever

You have disconnected.

Posted

Stranger: Hello! Are you making babies and are from London?

You: yes!

Stranger: YEEES!

You: YEEEEEEAAAAH

Stranger: YYAAAAAAAAY!!

Stranger: I LOVE YOU!!!

You: WOOOOOOHYEEEAAAAAH

Stranger: WHOHOOOOOYEYEYEYYYE!

You: I LOVE YOU TOOO

You: CAPS LOOOOOOOOOOCK

Stranger: YOU ARE MY FAVOURITE TURTLE, 2PAC!

Stranger: HELL YEEEEEEEEEAAAAAH!

You: WOOO

Stranger: CAPSLÃ…CK

Stranger: ÅÄÖ

Stranger: WHOHOOOOOOOOO!

Stranger: I LIKE BUTTER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You: YOUR MOM IS AWESOME IN THE SACK

Stranger: I KNOW!!!!!

Stranger: YOURS TOO!

Stranger: YEEEEEEEEAAAAAAH!

You: MY MOMS DEAD YOU INSENSITIVE PRICK

Stranger: HAHAHAHAH YEEEEEAAAAAH!

Stranger: MINE TOO!!!!!!!!!

You: BUT YOURE RIGHT

You: WOOOO

Stranger: I LIKE BIG CATS AND I CAN NOT LIE!!!!!!!!!!

Stranger: WHOHOOOOOOOO!

You: I PREFER DOGS

Stranger: YOU ARE NIGGER! WHOHOOOOOO!

You: IM AN ESKIMO

Stranger: I AM FROM SATURNUS!!!!!!

You: BUT I FIND THAT TERM OFFENSIVE

You: SO CALL ME INUIT

Stranger: WHYYYYYYYYY???!!!

You: 42

Stranger: ESKIMO!!!!

You: NOOOO

Stranger: YEEEEEEAAAAAH!

You: YOU HURT MY FEELINGS

Stranger: I AM SOOOOO INLOVE WITH YOUA!

You: I ONCE ACCIDENTILY THE WHOLE BOTTLE

Stranger: I LIKE B! BBBBBBBBBBBBBBB

You: BBBBBB

You: MUDKIPZ

Stranger: DO YOU LIKE TO EAT KIDS?

Stranger: MUDKIPZKIDS

You: IS THAT A TRICK QUESTION

Stranger: YES IT IS NOT!!!!

You: ARE YOU THAT HANSEN GUY FROM AMERICAN TV

You: I WILL NOT A SEAT OVER THERE

Stranger: NOOOOO MY NAME IS KARL-CHRIS

You: KC

Stranger: I LOOOOOOVE YOU!

You: DO THE HIP KIDZ CALL ZOU KC?

Stranger: KFC!!!!!!!!!

Stranger: YEEEEEEAAAAH!

You: WOO

Stranger: ITS TRUE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Stranger: I USED TO FUCK MY DOG, BUT NOT ANYMORE!!!!!!!!

You: IS IT BECAUSE HES DEAD?

Stranger: YEEEEEEES :(

You: THEN WHY STOP?

Stranger: I GOT TOOOO GOOOO NOW!!!!

Stranger: :(

You: OKAAAY

Stranger: :(

Stranger: I WILL MISS YOU STRANGER!

You: GOODBYE MY FRIEND

Stranger: LOVE YOU! ;(

 

Posted (edited)
Connecting to server...

Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

You: hi

Stranger: sup

Stranger: do you like men?

You: yes.

You: and sometimes women.

You: mainly squirrels though.

Stranger: i like dressing like a woman

You: ROKHED?!!!

You: is it really you?!

 

Hahahahahhahaha. I laughed so much that I turned inside out.

 

This reminds me of that time where C-Eers used to invite randomers into MSN conversations and just...harass them. Somebody even posted someone else's email address on here (someone who had wronged them) and the hilarity ensued.

 

I'ma give this a try.

 

Connecting to server...

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

You: THERE'S A SNAAAAAAKE IN MY BOOOOT!

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Edited by Fierce_LiNk
Posted (edited)
Mine:

 

Connecting to server...

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

You: Abra uses teleport

You have disconnected.

This is gold.

 

I shall now do mine.

 

 

Connecting to server...

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

You: Hello Cutie Pie

Stranger: HUI KAMALA HOMO

You: One of us is in DEEP trouble

Stranger: wtf ;D

You: I'm a cop you idiot!

You: I'm detective John Kimble.

Stranger: sure

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Edited by EEVILMURRAY
Posted

Here's mine

 

Connecting to server...

Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

Stranger: hi

You: hello

Stranger: where you from?

You: south wales, uk

Stranger: o im in the US

You: what part

Stranger: Pennsylvania

Stranger: near New York

You: lovely, nice weather

Stranger: yea its great today

Stranger: so you watch soccer? F1?

You: soccor, nba mainly

Stranger: oo

Stranger: football i should say

You: do watch the occasional f1 race

Stranger: awesome!

You: u

Stranger: i was born in Albania so i grew up on soccer and F1

Stranger: you watch top gear

You: i do yes

You: do u

Stranger: yes

Stranger: i love it

You: clarkson rocks

Stranger: yes he does

Stranger: such a good show

You: tis a good show, ur best episode

Stranger: huh?

You: best top gear episode??, specials??

Stranger: dont really have a favorite episode

Stranger: actually

Stranger: going to vietnam was great

Stranger: male?

You: yes i am

Stranger: same

Stranger: how are thinks over there?

You: good weather etc, good stuff realy

Stranger: awesome man

Posted
Connecting to server...

Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

You: Hey

You: The car is here.

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

 

I'm just waiting to see who replies to this. No one yet.

 

Oh shit I think some guy from Brazil is trying to chat me up. To be fair, I told him my name was Fori Anus.

 

This is hilariosu though. Cruel but funny.

Posted

Everything I said here is an Arnie quote. I'm surprised they didn't pick up on any of them.

 

Connecting to server...

Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

Stranger: Hello

You: Could I speak to the drug dealer of the house please?

Stranger: Of course..

You: Good

You: What's in the two week package?

Stranger: mm... Not sure..

Stranger: what do u need?

You: C'maahn, don't bullshit me

You: I'm not interested in Saturn, I said Mahrs.

You: I want to know what's going on and I want to know right now!

Stranger: okay okay wait a second!

You: One of us is in DEEP trouble.

Stranger: well, to be honest the dealer isn't home right now..

Stranger: ye, i guess it's Me..

You: You expect me to believe you?

You: You know you're lying

Stranger: yes i expect that u believe me!

Stranger: u can trust me..

You: Tell me the truth, you owe me that much

You: Now you give me the names of your drug suppliers and distributors, and I'll tell the judge what a nice cooperative killer you are

Stranger: oh please don't!

Stranger: i can't give u the names

You: Eh, I'm a police officer

You: So don't give me that crap!

Stranger: oh, ur a police officer!

Stranger: well then, how can i help u today?

You: Excuse me I have a few more questions if you don't mind.

You: Who is your daddy, and what does he do?

Stranger: hmm.. okay..

Stranger: Daddy?

You: Correct

Stranger: welll... He... He is.. My mum's husband!

You: YOU LIE!

Stranger: oh fuck.

You: I don't like you using foul language

You: I've got news for you, you are mine now, YOU BELONG TO ME.

Stranger: okay okay... are u sure?

You: Yes.

Stranger: then... i just have to go! Sorry!

You: C'mon baby, you know you're the girl of my dreams

You: Let me talk to your mother

Stranger: oh hell no.

You: Why not?

You: Get your mother please.

Stranger: baceause i said no.

Stranger: because*

You: Stop whining

You: Just do what I tell you

You: Get your ass to Mahs

Stranger: but as nice as it is to talk with You, i will go no to Mash.

Stranger: So byebye!

You: I said Mahs

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

 

Posted

Stranger: Mmhmm.

You: are you brazilian

Stranger: No.

You: then what are you

Stranger: Hehe.

Stranger: English.

You: im belgian

Stranger: Nice.

You: but this site is full of brazilians

Stranger: I've noticed.

Stranger: They're taking over.

You: i wonder why

Stranger: Still, if they're Brazilian chicks it's okay.

Stranger: 6 out of ten have a nice ass. :)

You: unless they're trannies

Stranger: Lol yeah

Stranger: Hey you ever read "A People's History of the United States"?

You: no, but it rings a bell somehow

Stranger: :(

Stranger: I need a chapter summary

Stranger: Can't find one anywhere

You: can't you just read the book?

Stranger: Not in an hour, no :/

You: ooh, should've done your homework ;)

Stranger: Lol yep :(

Stranger: Well I gotta find someone who has read it - nice talking to you

You: good luck finding someone here

Stranger: Thanks :)

You: you'll only find brazilians

Stranger: Lol probably

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

 

Posted

You: I love tents

Stranger: why

You: they are my home

Stranger: you live in a tent

You: yes

You: I thought everyone did

Stranger: no

You: oh ok.

You: I'll stop living in a tent

Stranger: where do you live

You: in a tent

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

 

When did I turn into the crazy? :D

Posted

Connecting to server...

 

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

 

Stranger: Hi

 

You: hey

 

Stranger: how are you?

 

You: i'm good

 

You: can you smell my turd

 

You: ???

 

Stranger: mother fucker

 

 

Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.

 

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

 

You: whad up g

 

Stranger: from?

 

You: the park

 

Stranger: brazilllllllllllllll

 

Stranger: ???????????/

 

You: do you know blanka

 

Stranger: what the fuck?

 

You: green, orange hair... likes to fight

 

You: loves to fight

 

Stranger: restler?

 

Stranger: w

 

Stranger: i find u and kill

 

 

People give up far too quickly


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