Funny/Amusing Personal Stories/Anecdotes

[ReZourceman]

Post your lolries here.

 

---------

 

I used to work at Waitrose. One day I went to work, put my bag in my locker, got changed and everything was fine. The clock rolled round to 20:15 and we all got changed, grabbed our stuff and left,...when I approached the door I saw the manager (female...late 20s ish) and some other guy and they were....doing a bag search. I thought I had absolutely nothing to worry about, no stealing/abuse of position to cheapen products on this particular day. So I flipped open the bag, and when I saw what was inside, I took a deep gulp.

 

Oh god. Oh god. Not now. This cant be happening to me. So I emptied out the various items. Bottle of drink. Tissue. Keys....then....at the bottom. Durex Feel Lubrication. Small bottle. All I could do was look at her, with my lube in hand, look back at the lube, and said "Erm...Lubrication." then profusely packed up my bag and left.

 

What are your stories?

[Nintendohnut]

I have one from this very day!

 

I got an email from my lecturer saying that the lecture room had been changed today (as did everyone on the course) and so at the time of my lecture I went down to the lecture room. When I walked in the woman at the front had alreadt started talking, so I quickly sat down. Then she said "If you haven't had time to print off the handout come down and get one and I'll start" So obviously I go down there and pick one up. Once I'm back to my seat I look at it...it has nothing to do with the lecture I should be in, and realisation dawns...this clearly isn't my lecture. Now that I looked around, I saw plenty of people looking at me like "who the fuck is he? We've not seen him before"...

 

So I did the following:

Looked surprised and reached into my pocket, drew out my phone, and was like "oh hi! What? You're outside?! Oh okay, I'll come and find you!" in a really loud voice. Then I grabbed all my stuff and ran for it, getting lots of odd looks on the way out.

 

I was embarrassed

[ReZourceman]

Hahahahah! Smooth dude! Thats awesome. Good story. Stories like that folks, hes set a bench mark now.

[Roostophe]

A few years ago, when I was in school, my phone started randomly going off during the lessons. (For extra lols, my ringtone was 'In The End' by Linkin Park)

 

One time, it went off in Maths, the teacher had stopped talking while I plunged into my bag to turn it off. When I had turned it off, I looked back at the teacher, smiled sheepishly and said "Okay, Miss. Carry on teaching!"

[My Buttons are Magic!]

me and my friend one day during a free class decided to make up one of them stories... u know.. someone writes one line and then you right the next?

we called it the "chronicles of luneland"

 

it was about me and her living in an igloo and having a pond filled with dr pepper and there being snow everywhere...

we were 14?

 

the teacher found it and read the first ew lines out to the class

=mortified

[Oxigen_Waste]

Cannot tell, for the Tata lore possesses such awesomeness it will most likely make you perish at a mere glance. Only we, the future leaders of humanity, may gaze upon it.

[Gizmo]

Ok, so like most of the internet I like this girl, but its hard to talk to her. Very hard. Girls in general. Yeah I know, lame lame lame. Anyways so I heard her talk about star wars a few days previous. I like star wars too, and I had a costume in my closet. This costume was of Han Solo, and I wore it for Halloween last year. I decided to wear the costume to school. Well, the class I had with her wasn't until 3rd period, so I had a long way to go until she could see me. First period was a ****ing nightmare, English 2. The second I walked into the classroom, people started whispering and **** about me. Well you know how the people who are friends with everyone just play stuff off as a joke when something bad happens? Well, I am not friends with anyone, and I tried this, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD CE DON'T TRY THIS! I said something like "Aha yeah guyssss Han SOLOOOOO (I said it like how that song says ballin) is pretty sexy". Everyone just gave me a blank stare.

 

 

At this point, the teacher awkwardly stepped in and started his lesson. All through the class I was getting all hot and sweaty because I was so ****ing nervous and embarrassed. As soon as class ends I sprint out of there and into the bathroom. It occurred to me that I might have sweat stains all over me, but luckily there was nothing. I went to the stall, and sat down to pee. NOW BEFORE YOU GUYS MAKE FUN OF ME! I always have split streams. I don't know ****ing why. But if I stand next to the urinal to pee on it, I either hit the guy on my left or right, while one stream hits the urinal. And considering I was wearing a ****ING HAN SOLO OUTFIT PEEING ON PEOPLE the ending wouldn't of been happy. So anyways, I pull my pants down and then look up to the ceiling. I was praying to god that when I walked out of the urinal that my cloths would magically change to something normal. I didn't want to be Han Solo anymore. So I pull my pants up, and guess ****ing what. Not only did I not wipe my wang good enough, getting some spots on my boxers, THERE WAS A PUDDLE OF SOMEONE ELSES PEE ON THE FLOOR IN A PUDDLE! GUESS WHERE MY PANTS WERE! YEAH ****ING RIGHT! IN THE PUDDLE! So I have someone's pee on my leg, and now I gotta go wash my hands. Well, I pretended to spill the water all over my leg, and put some on my shirt too. If someone asks what it is, I will just say "Yeah, turned the sink up too much I guess lol",

 

So I walk out of the bathroom, and I was off to 2nd period. My second period class was Art, hopefully there was a chance artists were found of star wars. I walk in there, everyones first reaction was "Why the hell are you dressed as Han Solo?" I panicked and said "Uh the sink overflowed too much I turned it up." Everyone didn't really understand, it took me a second to realize how stupid my reply was. I just gave a blank look and sat back down. We sit at tables, which means 2 people are always across from me, and usually they never look at me. Today however, they stared at me like I was scum on their shoe. They asked the same ****ing question "WHY ARE YOU HAN SOLO". Jesus christ stop asking me this godforsaken question. I decided my reply from now on would be "I dunno". Then they asked me why I was wet. I said "Holy christ I am wet because of a sink. Sink has water in it and some dumbass put gum on the sink part which makes it squirt and **** and it went all over my pants. They got a little suspicious of how the water had such a wide range on me, but I ignored the question. That period was finally over! 3rd period HERE I COME! So I went to the bathroom again to make sure I was looking as decent as I could in a Han Solo outfit. I was going to burn this piece of ****.

 

So I got to my next class, and there she was, staring at me. This was a dream come true. Now given, I imagined this a hell of a lot more romantic then her with a blank stare, but what the hell can you do in a Han Solo outfit. This was good enough for me. Then she started smiling. I then realized the smile wasn't a smile, it was a ****Ing giggle. She was laughing at me to her friends. I panicked and said "Hey I am Han Solo whats your name?". She then busted out laughing at me. She said "Wow you really are ***". I asked her why she though that and she said "My friend said that you though Han Solo was hot and you dressed up like him". My blood was ****ing boiling. The girl of my dreams thinks I am *** because of first period. First ****ing period screwed me over. I asked the name of her friend. It took me awhile to realize who it was, but eventually I figured what she looked like, she sits pretty far from me in English.

 

I sat through the rest of the class in shame. I kept looking at her and smiling, to be like the cool kid who always smiles or something. In all ****ing honesty I don't know what I was thinking at that point. I just kept giving her this really weird fake smile hoping she would be like "Wow that smile is really hot, you aren't *** after all I guess". I was probably just freaking out though. I know now that would never happen. This was by far the worst class period, instead of just being asked questions, I was getting harassed now. The girl pretty much announced the class I was ***. I tried denying it, but unfortunately I got too worked up and there were tears in my eyes. Yeah that really ****ing helped my case. Everyone was saying things like "Awwww lil *** boy wants some luke skywalker **** to suck on huh? Well I'm not luke skywalker but you can suck mine loolololololol" Those idiots did this for the entire class, and the girl would just laugh.

 

This hell finally ended. Now I know for a ****ing fact, Emily ( the girl in my 1st period that told the girl I liked about my Han Solo sexy crap) goes through the same connection I do to get to her class. so i get there, I wait a bit, see her, she walks past me, I do a U-turn and follow her. She then walked into some class, I am not sure what it was, but it was in the foreigh language hallway.She then put her backpack down in the room, and walked out again. She looked at me, didn't say a word, and kept walking. I waited a bit, then followed her.

 

So she talks with her friends for awhile, I walk by the conversation a few times, listening to bits and pieces of the conversation. I find out who her boyfriend is, considering he is in the conversation with her 2 feet away from me. So the chat ends, they kiss, and split ways. This was like a ****ing crossroads in my life. To be completely honest, I had no idea where this stalking thing was going. I decided against doing anything to the girl, because what ever I would do would get me beat up by like every person with a hand, even the freshman would try to take my life. I decided to follow the guy, hopefully he had no friends. It was getting pretty late in the locked break, but I really had no intention of going through a hellish period again. So I followed him until the piece of **** went to his locker. Bingo. I had his locker. I didn't know what the hell I was going to do now. But ****, I had his locker. I waited for him to walk away, and luckily this was in a place that wasn't really being traveled by teachers at that time. I could go into larger detail of what spots are patrolled by teachers, but I will make it short. Basically, there are hot spots WHERE YOU DON'T WANT TO ****ING BE WHEN THE BELL RINGS. These places change, depending on which teachers have plan periods. Really, it is impossible to know where the hotspots are without doing research around the school during all 4 locker breaks. I was very lucky.

 

So he finally leaves his locker, by the time he had, class had already started. This **** was a rebel it seemed. Anyways, his rebel ways were the downfall of him. he didn't have a lock on his locker. it was like god gave me the 2nd prize, because he couldn't change my outfit. I open it, just a normal locker. My original plan was to push my luck and hoped to find some drugs in here. Nope. That didn't turn out well. But I found out his address and his class schedule. For those who don't know, when you get schedules in the beginining of the year, it has all you **** on it, birthday, counselor, and address. I took a piece of paper from my backpack, and wrote it down. An idea occured came to me. Considering I am weak as ****, and this guy would kick my ass in a second, what would be the best way to do this? Threats. So I took another piece of paper, took a red pen out, and started writing "Hello Ben, how are you doing? Good I hope? Enjoy it. Because that is a fall sense of security you little piece of ****. I know where you live Ben, I also know where Emily lives. I just want you to keep that in the back of your mind while you slumber. Slumber Ben....Slumber".

 

I smiled, because for once I am glad I had the Han Solo costume on, I felt pretty bad ass with it. I signed with "HS". Now at the time I was feeling badass, and felt like I could take a bullet, so my common sense dropped quite a bit when I put down the intials for Han Solo. I did the same not writing process for all 4 classes, and put them in the appropriete books. They were stuff like "Ahhh Social studies. I took this class. Its a great class isn't it Ben? You know, I loved to just take a nice long breathe of air in this class, I loved to look at the sky out of the window. Its these simple things you need to enjoy Ben, you shouldn't take things like this for granted. Trust me on this one. You should really tell Emily the same thing, I have a feeling she takes it for granted too. Your very best pal, HS". The other 3 were basically the same thing. If you guys want the other 3 I will give them to you later, but I have a feeling space is running out of this post. Anyways, I sat in the bathroom until class had ended. I hadn't eaten my lunch yet, I know I haven't addressed this yet but it is during 3rd period. Nothing really happened at lunch, so whatever. Anyways so I had a ham sandwitch that I ate in the stall. I had about 17 minutes to kill. Nothing exciting happened here either, I just walked around the stalls reading the writing, I laughed pretty hard a few times, then I think someone heard me and came in, I ran into the stall, locked the door, and put my feet up. I stayed in there the rest of the time after that. I only ate half of the sandwitch. Anyways, with 2 minutes to spare, I decided to go back down to the locker so I could see what he does. Well he opens the locker, does some stuff in there, then takes a look at my note. His eyes widened, and he showed it to the people around him. I exspected him to be scared, but of course he ****ing wasn't. He then went back to the teacher and told the teacher about it. Well, I walk away cause I am scared ****less. And I walk out of school. Well, I see the kid with 2 cops, showing them the message. He hasn't see the one I left in his books yet. Emily was there, and she was really scared and her friends were comforting her. I felt kind of bad, but she really did **** up my life. Even worse now. I even heard the cops followed both of them home.

 

I stole that from GameFAQs, and it's probably made up, but this seemed the most appropriate topic to post it in.

[Oxigen_Waste]

Ok, so like most of the internet I like this girl, but its hard to talk to her. Very hard. Girls in general. Yeah I know, lame lame lame. Anyways so I heard her talk about star wars a few days previous. I like star wars too, and I had a costume in my closet. This costume was of Han Solo, and I wore it for Halloween last year. I decided to wear the costume to school. Well, the class I had with her wasn't until 3rd period, so I had a long way to go until she could see me. First period was a ****ing nightmare, English 2. The second I walked into the classroom, people started whispering and **** about me. Well you know how the people who are friends with everyone just play stuff off as a joke when something bad happens? Well, I am not friends with anyone, and I tried this, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD CE DON'T TRY THIS! I said something like "Aha yeah guyssss Han SOLOOOOO (I said it like how that song says ballin) is pretty sexy". Everyone just gave me a blank stare.

 

 

At this point, the teacher awkwardly stepped in and started his lesson. All through the class I was getting all hot and sweaty because I was so ****ing nervous and embarrassed. As soon as class ends I sprint out of there and into the bathroom. It occurred to me that I might have sweat stains all over me, but luckily there was nothing. I went to the stall, and sat down to pee. NOW BEFORE YOU GUYS MAKE FUN OF ME! I always have split streams. I don't know ****ing why. But if I stand next to the urinal to pee on it, I either hit the guy on my left or right, while one stream hits the urinal. And considering I was wearing a ****ING HAN SOLO OUTFIT PEEING ON PEOPLE the ending wouldn't of been happy. So anyways, I pull my pants down and then look up to the ceiling. I was praying to god that when I walked out of the urinal that my cloths would magically change to something normal. I didn't want to be Han Solo anymore. So I pull my pants up, and guess ****ing what. Not only did I not wipe my wang good enough, getting some spots on my boxers, THERE WAS A PUDDLE OF SOMEONE ELSES PEE ON THE FLOOR IN A PUDDLE! GUESS WHERE MY PANTS WERE! YEAH ****ING RIGHT! IN THE PUDDLE! So I have someone's pee on my leg, and now I gotta go wash my hands. Well, I pretended to spill the water all over my leg, and put some on my shirt too. If someone asks what it is, I will just say "Yeah, turned the sink up too much I guess lol",

 

So I walk out of the bathroom, and I was off to 2nd period. My second period class was Art, hopefully there was a chance artists were found of star wars. I walk in there, everyones first reaction was "Why the hell are you dressed as Han Solo?" I panicked and said "Uh the sink overflowed too much I turned it up." Everyone didn't really understand, it took me a second to realize how stupid my reply was. I just gave a blank look and sat back down. We sit at tables, which means 2 people are always across from me, and usually they never look at me. Today however, they stared at me like I was scum on their shoe. They asked the same ****ing question "WHY ARE YOU HAN SOLO". Jesus christ stop asking me this godforsaken question. I decided my reply from now on would be "I dunno". Then they asked me why I was wet. I said "Holy christ I am wet because of a sink. Sink has water in it and some dumbass put gum on the sink part which makes it squirt and **** and it went all over my pants. They got a little suspicious of how the water had such a wide range on me, but I ignored the question. That period was finally over! 3rd period HERE I COME! So I went to the bathroom again to make sure I was looking as decent as I could in a Han Solo outfit. I was going to burn this piece of ****.

 

So I got to my next class, and there she was, staring at me. This was a dream come true. Now given, I imagined this a hell of a lot more romantic then her with a blank stare, but what the hell can you do in a Han Solo outfit. This was good enough for me. Then she started smiling. I then realized the smile wasn't a smile, it was a ****Ing giggle. She was laughing at me to her friends. I panicked and said "Hey I am Han Solo whats your name?". She then busted out laughing at me. She said "Wow you really are ***". I asked her why she though that and she said "My friend said that you though Han Solo was hot and you dressed up like him". My blood was ****ing boiling. The girl of my dreams thinks I am *** because of first period. First ****ing period screwed me over. I asked the name of her friend. It took me awhile to realize who it was, but eventually I figured what she looked like, she sits pretty far from me in English.

 

I sat through the rest of the class in shame. I kept looking at her and smiling, to be like the cool kid who always smiles or something. In all ****ing honesty I don't know what I was thinking at that point. I just kept giving her this really weird fake smile hoping she would be like "Wow that smile is really hot, you aren't *** after all I guess". I was probably just freaking out though. I know now that would never happen. This was by far the worst class period, instead of just being asked questions, I was getting harassed now. The girl pretty much announced the class I was ***. I tried denying it, but unfortunately I got too worked up and there were tears in my eyes. Yeah that really ****ing helped my case. Everyone was saying things like "Awwww lil *** boy wants some luke skywalker **** to suck on huh? Well I'm not luke skywalker but you can suck mine loolololololol" Those idiots did this for the entire class, and the girl would just laugh.

 

This hell finally ended. Now I know for a ****ing fact, Emily ( the girl in my 1st period that told the girl I liked about my Han Solo sexy crap) goes through the same connection I do to get to her class. so i get there, I wait a bit, see her, she walks past me, I do a U-turn and follow her. She then walked into some class, I am not sure what it was, but it was in the foreigh language hallway.She then put her backpack down in the room, and walked out again. She looked at me, didn't say a word, and kept walking. I waited a bit, then followed her.

 

So she talks with her friends for awhile, I walk by the conversation a few times, listening to bits and pieces of the conversation. I find out who her boyfriend is, considering he is in the conversation with her 2 feet away from me. So the chat ends, they kiss, and split ways. This was like a ****ing crossroads in my life. To be completely honest, I had no idea where this stalking thing was going. I decided against doing anything to the girl, because what ever I would do would get me beat up by like every person with a hand, even the freshman would try to take my life. I decided to follow the guy, hopefully he had no friends. It was getting pretty late in the locked break, but I really had no intention of going through a hellish period again. So I followed him until the piece of **** went to his locker. Bingo. I had his locker. I didn't know what the hell I was going to do now. But ****, I had his locker. I waited for him to walk away, and luckily this was in a place that wasn't really being traveled by teachers at that time. I could go into larger detail of what spots are patrolled by teachers, but I will make it short. Basically, there are hot spots WHERE YOU DON'T WANT TO ****ING BE WHEN THE BELL RINGS. These places change, depending on which teachers have plan periods. Really, it is impossible to know where the hotspots are without doing research around the school during all 4 locker breaks. I was very lucky.

 

So he finally leaves his locker, by the time he had, class had already started. This **** was a rebel it seemed. Anyways, his rebel ways were the downfall of him. he didn't have a lock on his locker. it was like god gave me the 2nd prize, because he couldn't change my outfit. I open it, just a normal locker. My original plan was to push my luck and hoped to find some drugs in here. Nope. That didn't turn out well. But I found out his address and his class schedule. For those who don't know, when you get schedules in the beginining of the year, it has all you **** on it, birthday, counselor, and address. I took a piece of paper from my backpack, and wrote it down. An idea occured came to me. Considering I am weak as ****, and this guy would kick my ass in a second, what would be the best way to do this? Threats. So I took another piece of paper, took a red pen out, and started writing "Hello Ben, how are you doing? Good I hope? Enjoy it. Because that is a fall sense of security you little piece of ****. I know where you live Ben, I also know where Emily lives. I just want you to keep that in the back of your mind while you slumber. Slumber Ben....Slumber".

 

I smiled, because for once I am glad I had the Han Solo costume on, I felt pretty bad ass with it. I signed with "HS". Now at the time I was feeling badass, and felt like I could take a bullet, so my common sense dropped quite a bit when I put down the intials for Han Solo. I did the same not writing process for all 4 classes, and put them in the appropriete books. They were stuff like "Ahhh Social studies. I took this class. Its a great class isn't it Ben? You know, I loved to just take a nice long breathe of air in this class, I loved to look at the sky out of the window. Its these simple things you need to enjoy Ben, you shouldn't take things like this for granted. Trust me on this one. You should really tell Emily the same thing, I have a feeling she takes it for granted too. Your very best pal, HS". The other 3 were basically the same thing. If you guys want the other 3 I will give them to you later, but I have a feeling space is running out of this post. Anyways, I sat in the bathroom until class had ended. I hadn't eaten my lunch yet, I know I haven't addressed this yet but it is during 3rd period. Nothing really happened at lunch, so whatever. Anyways so I had a ham sandwitch that I ate in the stall. I had about 17 minutes to kill. Nothing exciting happened here either, I just walked around the stalls reading the writing, I laughed pretty hard a few times, then I think someone heard me and came in, I ran into the stall, locked the door, and put my feet up. I stayed in there the rest of the time after that. I only ate half of the sandwitch. Anyways, with 2 minutes to spare, I decided to go back down to the locker so I could see what he does. Well he opens the locker, does some stuff in there, then takes a look at my note. His eyes widened, and he showed it to the people around him. I exspected him to be scared, but of course he ****ing wasn't. He then went back to the teacher and told the teacher about it. Well, I walk away cause I am scared ****less. And I walk out of school. Well, I see the kid with 2 cops, showing them the message. He hasn't see the one I left in his books yet. Emily was there, and she was really scared and her friends were comforting her. I felt kind of bad, but she really did **** up my life. Even worse now. I even heard the cops followed both of them home.

 

I stole that from GameFAQs, and it's probably made up, but this seemed the most appropriate topic to post it in.

 

I did not read this post. That is all.

[Ramar]

When I was in Year 7 we had to write a story about being a rat for a day. A bit of creative writing. So I wrote a story about a banging party and that I had ploughed many a female rat. I forgot to put my name on it, but because of the register and everyone else having their names on their work it was tracked back to me. My teacher let me off with a verbal discussion and said, he didn't want to see anymore writing like this until I was at least year 10. I spent the rest off my school life in fear of that document embarassing me some more.

[ReZourceman]

Snip

I stole that from GameFAQs, and it's probably made up, but this seemed the most appropriate topic to post it in.

 

Hahhaha, I was about to call you a psycho and shit. Man I cant believe I read all that. Crazy stuff.

[Nintendohnut]

I did not read this post. That is all.

 

Hahaha your loss man, its fucking awesome!

[Gizmo]

I did not read this post. That is all.

 

I swear to you, it is totally worth it.

[Hem]

LOL WTF IRL I SWEAR THAT'S MADE UP OR MAYBE THE MOST SURREAL/FUNNIEST THING EVER.

[Strider]

When i was in year 6 i get kegged outside of school. There were parents, people in cars and everyone i knew there to watch it happen too. What made it even worse was that i was right in the center of this grassy bit outside of the school.

 

Wearing briefs at the time didnt help the situation either. I just ran to my mum crying.

 

I hated that school.

[Rummy]

Hahhaha, I was about to call you a psycho and shit. Man I cant believe I read all that. Crazy stuff.

 

Seconded, in fact, were it not for Oxigen's post, I wouldn't have realised it was Gizmo's own(though the Scotland as a location and US school setting were a bit peculiar). The story was funny, then just plain weird and freaky. Good stuff lol. I dunno if I have funny stories, people tell me I do, but now I feel on the spot and it's kinda weird.

 

When i was in year 6 i get kegged outside of school. There were parents, people in cars and everyone i knew there to watch it happen too. What made it even worse was that i was right in the center of this grassy bit outside of the school.

 

Wearing briefs at the time didnt help the situation either. I just ran to my mum crying.

 

I hated that school.

 

I'm sure this'd be much more amusing if I had any idea what kegged meant?

[MoogleViper]

Once in year 5 we were doing art and the teacher came round giving us all old clothes to put over ours to keep them clean. But I was the last one and they only had a pink t-shirt left. I refused to wear it and then the teacher started shouting at me. I started crying and tried to run away but he stopped me.

 

I'm wearing a pink t-shirt now.

 

I'm sure this'd be much more amusing if I had any idea what kegged meant?

 

It means someone pulled his trousers down.

[Strider]

I'm sure this'd be much more amusing if I had any idea what kegged meant?

 

Sorry, thought it was the term used throughout the country.

 

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=kegged

[Rummy]

Wow man, that is harsh! I feel for you.

[Chris the great]

on my 19th, i went clubbing with friends, got smashed, and by 2am (ish) was sat on the bus back too halls of residence, when i was sick. lots. it sloshed all over the bus, girls screamed, thank god the rugby team liked it, many hand shakes.

 

fast forward 23 months, ive had too much to drink, not drunk, just full. im round the corney from the club when my body decides i need to evacuate some of my tummy dwellers. i projectile vomit up a lamp post a meter away, and feel great. a group of ladx cheer and say "are you that guy who was sick on the bus in 1st year?" how we all laughed, and how good that night was.

 

recognised for being sick in public. my mother would be ashamed.

[Slaggis]

Got drunk last night, and went for a walk round town with some mates. Ended up going up to the bouncers at the wine bar on the highstreet with marker pen on my face so I looked like a cat, going "Row"/"Meow" at them with the hand movment. (Like the epsiode of friends in Vegas). I have no idea why I did it, other than the fact that at the time, I kept saying "The one with the shiny heads imagining me naked, look!".

 

It was brilliant, and me and this other guy got lost whilst walking a girl back to her house. I was trying to use my "cat senses" to find our way back, but we fell into someones front lawn, and had a bit of a fumble. I feel so ashamed :p

[Coolness Bears]

A few years ago, when I was in school, my phone started randomly going off during the lessons. (For extra lols, my ringtone was 'In The End' by Linkin Park)

 

One time, it went off in Maths, the teacher had stopped talking while I plunged into my bag to turn it off. When I had turned it off, I looked back at the teacher, smiled sheepishly and said "Okay, Miss. Carry on teaching!"

 

A vaguley similar thing happened to me last thursday.

 

I was in the midle of a history lesson when the teacher looked at me and said

 

"can you explain to me please why there is a fork hanging from your lip?"

 

I stared at him blankly for a bit and then said "I'm afraid i can't! you may continue"

 

People were really freaked out that i was carrying a fork around with me the whole week. Oh well, it's broken now i bent it in half on Friday!