redrum217uk Posted December 31, 2007 Posted December 31, 2007 And wearing a condom is like eating a chocolate with the wrapper on. She was supposed to be on the pill. This is all her fault. (not that I'll ever tell her that). yet another man blaming the woman for not taking her pill, sorry to have a go but its as much your fault as it is her's. The pill is NOT 100% effective, there are all sorts of reason why it might not work. Not to mention the STI's you can catch! If she is happy to have sex with you without one how many others is she happy to do that with? Same goes for you. Apart from that you sound like a really good guy and should be a great dad so good for you! You don't have to be in a relationship with her either just be there for the kid. Good look mate
danny Posted December 31, 2007 Posted December 31, 2007 Join the forces. Were so overworked you wont ever be any where near to play any part in a childs life. The CSA will take there cut. But so much time spent in the desert etc you cant spend all your wages any way.
Guest bluey Posted December 31, 2007 Posted December 31, 2007 yet another man blaming the woman for not taking her pill, sorry to have a go but its as much your fault as it is her's. The pill is NOT 100% effective, there are all sorts of reason why it might not work. Not to mention the STI's you can catch! If she is happy to have sex with you without one how many others is she happy to do that with? Same goes for you. Apart from that you sound like a really good guy and should be a great dad so good for you! You don't have to be in a relationship with her either just be there for the kid. Good look mate i couldnt agree more. the pill is only about 95-98% effective, and even if you trust that - you never know who has what when it comes to STI's. also - you dont need to consider either abortion or adoption (or even keeping the baby yet -) dont worry yourself till things are definite... periods can be late, especially on the pill ~ when i was on the pill my periods stopped completely (score!) and even if she is pregnant, when push comes to shove it's all HER decision. fine it's your baby too, but what she decides is what you'll just have to go with - the decent thing to do is to support her no matter what happens now and not make the same mistake. this is just me - but if i became pregnant (i'm all for safe sex but accidents still happen) i'd be telling my boyfriend in the same breath as i'd use to ask him how he felt about abortions :wink:
Mokong Posted December 31, 2007 Posted December 31, 2007 DiemitriX, if you want to keep the baby then i wish you all the best and hope it all works out. But in all honesty i'll have to side with Shorty on the condom issue, you can't guarentee the pill will be 100%, plus if you before hand didn't really want to be in a relationship with her you should have been taking more responsibilty on your part, if you suggested the use of a condom and she said to go without it then you would have known something was up. And of course there's the issue of have you or her have other partners? STI's are high risk these days without the rubber. At least your not planning to run from it anyway, so that's a great thing. Recently one of my cousins in the Philippines got pregnant and the father did a runner. Over there, there are no laws that the father has to provide for a child if he doesn't stay with the mother. If i ever caught that bastard i'll seriously smash his balls like they were eggs. It really pisses me off when some jackass thinks he can have sex with no protection and then run from the responsibility after creating a baby. And the Philippines is one of those highly catholic countries where contraception is not taught to kids in school, not supported by the government and not widely available, (kinda like Ireland in the 60's/70's) yet they've got a massive teen pregnancy issue and over-population but the government refuses to endorse condom use (or any contraception) since the church is against it. Their excuse is, if they did people would be more likely to have premarital sex.... but they already bloody are. The amazing thing is, is that they don't have an AIDS or STI problem, but I say it's only a matter of time.
Dark Wolf Posted December 31, 2007 Posted December 31, 2007 My cousin had a child in a similar situation (she basically used him). He's not with her, but he cares for the child and gets to see him often. I don't think it's necessary to be with her tbh, just look after the child.
gaggle64 Posted December 31, 2007 Posted December 31, 2007 And wearing a condom is like eating a chocolate with the wrapper on. She was supposed to be on the pill. This is all her fault. (not that I'll ever tell her that). I think a better analogy would be- Well, go swimming with sharks without a cage, what do think is going happen? Or, my personal favourite- Next time to draw your pocket gun, check and make sure the safety's on. Oh, and check that "it's her fault" attitude at the door soldier. You're a man now, better start acting like one.
Blackbird Posted January 1, 2008 Posted January 1, 2008 Get her to take a pregnancy test and show you it before going any further..... Oh com'on. You can't possibly be serious about that one. If anything could give out the signal "Sorry, but I don't really want you but hey, in case it turns out you're really pregnant, I'll give in", that would be it. Dieter, whatever you two decide to do, treat her with respect. You took a gamble sleeping with someone you don't really 'love', now deal with the consequences. (not saying you're not, by the way) Anyhow: happy 2008 And that was my brief appearance for 2008, I guess...
Iun Posted January 1, 2008 Posted January 1, 2008 Oh stop with the "No method of contraception is 100% safe" bullshit, it's giving me a hangover. If you are taking the pill or if you are wearing a condom then it is a given that you DO NOT WANT to get pregnant/have a child. So therefore in the unlikely event that it happens (Newcastle winning the league is more likely) then you should be prepared to BOTH make a decision. Sure, the woman's body is the one that has the baby, but the baby is 50% of the male. People talk about responsibilities of the man, but what about his rights? What if he uses a condom/she's on the pill and then she's pregnant? The man has to obey the whims of a woman he may not love or who may not be entirely stable mentally, and yet he has implied clearly beforehand he doesn't want or doesn't feel ready for the responsibility. All the while wankers are sitting there in their Ivory Towers wagging their fingers and saying "You should have been more careful" and other useless bullcrap, implying yet again that the woman is the victim of another heartless man intent only on sexual gratification.
rokhed00 Posted January 1, 2008 Posted January 1, 2008 I tried to stop this mad relationship ages ago. Must try harder.
Aimless Posted January 1, 2008 Posted January 1, 2008 And that was my brief appearance for 2008, I guess... But no reprise of your famous festive signature? For shame. As for the bed DiemetriX has made for himself, I'd suggest he lie in it after giving the sheets a full cycle at 80°C. But that isn't very helpful, so I'll also add this: so far all you have is her word that she has been feeling sick and might have 'forgotten' to take the pill. Far be it from me to paint her as a liar, but from your past stories your lady friends have often sounded somewhat... insecure; this is quite possibly a sadistic test of some sort.
Charlie Posted January 1, 2008 Posted January 1, 2008 Oh com'on. You can't possibly be serious about that one. If anything could give out the signal "Sorry, but I don't really want you but hey, in case it turns out you're really pregnant, I'll give in", that would be it.[/size] You obviously don't say it like that... Something like "Are you sure? Want to take a pregnancy test just to make sure?" made sure its worded carefully.
Blackbird Posted January 1, 2008 Posted January 1, 2008 All the while wankers are sitting there in their Ivory Towers wagging their fingers and saying "You should have been more careful" and other useless bullcrap, implying yet again that the woman is the victim of another heartless man intent only on sexual gratification. Can't speak for everyone here, but for me it's more like a "only have sex with those you'd want to go further with". Accidents happen, which can leave you with nasty problems otherwise. Moria: no matter how you say it, the other one will never know for sure why you two got together: because of an accident, or because the other one finally noticed your (inner) beauty (*gasp*). I for one would not be a happy man if I were living with such doubts
Cube Posted January 1, 2008 Posted January 1, 2008 Sure, the woman's body is the one that has the baby, but the baby is 50% of the male. People talk about responsibilities of the man, but what about his rights? Yea. Where's our equality?
Gaijin von Snikbah Posted January 1, 2008 Posted January 1, 2008 If you dont trust the girl to take her medicine, shouldnt you be wearing a condom? Surely it has more flavor than a wrapped candybar. You cant leave the responsibilty to others when it comes to important things like this.
DiemetriX Posted January 2, 2008 Author Posted January 2, 2008 Tnx for all the response guys and girls. Yeah, It my fault too. And Pointing the blame seemed like the easy option but you guys are right. I should have been more careful. We haven't done any tests so far, We will just wait until Wednesday to see if she's late or not. She's still feeling ill but it could be others tings I guess. She's thinking about abortion, and I tell her it's her choice. She knows how I feel about abortion but I'm not gonna force her to have a baby she doesn't want. Anyway, as said before, I'm gonna do whats right and what she wants. We even talked about moving inn together. And she's a super person. I'm just a bit spoiled when it comes to the girl front at the moment. But settling down with a her wouldn't be a bad thing at all. Off all my girlfriends, she's the one I can be my self with. When I want to do my own things like play with my friends online or watch anime she sits there with me or lays in my lap. So thanks for the input so far guys. I'll update you guys as news breaks.
redrum217uk Posted January 3, 2008 Posted January 3, 2008 Tnx for all the response guys and girls. Yeah, It my fault too. And Pointing the blame seemed like the easy option but you guys are right. I should have been more careful. We haven't done any tests so far, We will just wait until Wednesday to see if she's late or not. She's still feeling ill but it could be others tings I guess. She's thinking about abortion, and I tell her it's her choice. She knows how I feel about abortion but I'm not gonna force her to have a baby she doesn't want. Anyway, as said before, I'm gonna do whats right and what she wants. We even talked about moving inn together. And she's a super person. I'm just a bit spoiled when it comes to the girl front at the moment. But settling down with a her wouldn't be a bad thing at all. Off all my girlfriends, she's the one I can be my self with. When I want to do my own things like play with my friends online or watch anime she sits there with me or lays in my lap. So thanks for the input so far guys. I'll update you guys as news breaks. I know loads of people who have been ill over xmas it might just be nothing! Also moving in with her? Well I'd only do that If you loved her and actually really wanted to be with her, I mean moving in just for the sake of a child is not fair on you. You can be a good dad on not live with her. Anyway hope you find out if she is or isn't soon
Esequiel Posted January 3, 2008 Posted January 3, 2008 The chances of her feeling ill before missing her period are minimal. The sickness tends to set in after about 6 weeks. My new one is due on the 21st May
Iun Posted January 3, 2008 Posted January 3, 2008 The chances of her feeling ill before missing her period are minimal. The sickness tends to set in after about 6 weeks. My new one is due on the 21st May Congrats, how many do you already have?
Esequiel Posted January 3, 2008 Posted January 3, 2008 1 atm, hes nearly 17 months now ^^ We find out on 9th Jan if this one is a boy or a girl. If its a girl im going for the chop lmao! I only want2 kids but if its not a girl i might hold on and see what the future holds.... If i win the lottery i would want lots more kids
DiemetriX Posted January 3, 2008 Author Posted January 3, 2008 The chances of her feeling ill before missing her period are minimal. The sickness tends to set in after about 6 weeks. My new one is due on the 21st May Now that is amazing news Sure makes my days better ^^ congrats on your newbie ^^ and thanks for that fact Morning Sickness: More than half of all pregnant women experience morning sickness. The nausea is often a result of the increased hormones in your body, and usually begins around the 6th week of pregnancy. It can occur at any time of the day.
Iun Posted January 4, 2008 Posted January 4, 2008 Good for you, Esequiel! If I have children, I'll probably have a dozen. That way there's plenty of them to take care of me in my dotage.
Ashley Posted January 4, 2008 Posted January 4, 2008 Good for you, Esequiel! If I have children, I'll probably have a dozen. That way there's plenty of them to take care of me in my dotage. So thats what you've been up to in China eh?
Iun Posted January 4, 2008 Posted January 4, 2008 No, no, and a big no. My current girlfriend, while nice enough is not the motherly type.
Esequiel Posted January 4, 2008 Posted January 4, 2008 The funny thing about pregnancy, and something i didnt believe before my GF got pregnant again is that every pregnancy is different. First one she was all pastry and savoury food, morning sickness for about 2 months after the first 6 weeks, but other than that she was fine. She wasnt feeling well on 17/8/06 (2 days after due date) so we went to hospital and sh was 7cm Dialated. For those who dont know 10cm is the PUSH part, so yeah lmao no time for drugs or anything, it was into the water birt pool with gas and air and within 4 hours of arriving at hospital my little guy was born. This one however.... completley different. Sickness set in after 8 weeks, lasts all day long, is not wearing off at all >.< Back aches, head aches and a craving for sweets. Not chocolate but crap like little cola bottles and strawberry laces....and McDonalds & KFC. Midnight.... She says i want a McD's, i mean ffs.... But you never say no to a pregnant woman Thats why we think this one is a little girl Back on Topic - One thing you must remember is IF (and imho its seems like a big if) she is pregnant, the child didnt ask for it. You have a duty to care for it and give it all the love you can, and NEVER NEVER say it was an accident. I think you will be fine either way, you seem down to earth
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