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Posted
Wohoo!

 

Ok, now we're screwed, because I don't know what the hell its called either. Haha, what a total waste of time. :D

 

nooooooooooooooooo

this is gonna haunt me for the rest of - the week..lol..

ill probably see it on the music channels or something and be like "THATS THAT SONG"..:heh:

 

Why do you want to remember a song you don't like anyway? Why not just flush it out of your head
. (Includes bonus Zach Braff.)

 

for me - to get a song out of my head i have to listen to it

or it;ll do my head in :P

Posted

I love walking about in the rain for some reason, I find it so comforting and relaxing for some reason.

 

Shame to here it when things get all crappy on folk though. One time I had to walk 2 odd miles to get home, I was literally soaked everywhere. I mean through my boxers, every lair of clothing(wear two or three layers). Even my boxers where drenched and everytime I put a foot forward to take a step, along with squeeking noises water would come out the shoe.

 

Was damn fun and the looks I got, priceless.

Posted

Its hideous, but you can't help but listen/watch.

 

Its like walking past, and seeing two dogs going at it, or seeing something totally out of the ordinary. No matter how bad it is, you just - cant - look - away!

Posted
Its hideous, but you can't help but listen/watch.

 

Its like walking past, and seeing two dogs going at it, or seeing something totally out of the ordinary. No matter how bad it is, you just - cant - look - away!

 

that might have something to do with the half naked women? would i be right? i think so :grin:

Posted
bleeeeeeeh?

ahhwell

 

now i can go to sleep a happy buttons

 

(so happy i phoned nando up and forced him to listen to the song cause i was happy about finding it)

 

Yeah, I dunno. I've never been too fond of women who go around shaking their bojangles and booty on telly. Pretty different taste to what I think I like.

 

Where is /nando/ anyway?

Posted

Night Flink!

 

I have just got back out of bed (well im still situation in bed). Was lay there thinking about everything and the storm started so had to get up and close my windows (otherwise I'd wake up to a wet tv), well I closed them most the way.

 

Its weird. The last few days the expression "a storm's brewing" has been circulating in my head and now I realise why. And not just because of the rain and thunder. Personal dramas -_-

 

Oh and I am technically in a roof so this storm is uber-epic.

Posted
I love walking about in the rain for some reason, I find it so comforting and relaxing for some reason.

 

The last four times it's rained while I've walked home, it's been the background music to my self-depressed foreground. I don't know why but I've found it really difficult tonight to not last out at people. Certain posts/threads, or even texts/people have completely rubbed me the wrong way and I really just want to SCREAM...

 

Ugh. it's just momentary depression. At least that's what I tell myself. I've realised that I cannot remember a time that I was truly happy, and I genuinely can't see when I could ever be all smiles and no guile. All I want in the world is a companion to see me as I am, and to save their secrets for me. I'm pissed off with the near-misses and the perhaps. I'm tired of being the back-up and the maybe. Though i know that nobody deserves anything, I can't help but still wish that I'm wrong; that we are awaiting some mystical moment where everything is suddenly ok.

 

But when you have no single moment to look forward to - no ultimate moment of happiness where you can guarentee yourself at least a day of smiles and joy... when you can't see the next sunny day, then... well then being rained on just confirms this. Getting soaked through just establishes and burns into you the utter fallacy of holding onto any hope of a fresh and green opportunity of happiness.

 

happiness to me isn't some overbearing smilefest, it's just knowing that the next sadness is out of reach; it's far away enough that you couldn't think about it even if you tried. Yet knowing that I can get there at a moment's notice without even meaning to just saddens me immediately. Knowing I'm but 21 years old and probably being a wussy fuck for being so self-depressed when I have 'so much to live for' does nothing but make things heavier and harder to bear.

 

yes, this is one of my monthly posts of dirge, and I do apologise - but then anyone who has read far enough to garner the apology deserves so much more just for the effort they have put in. Perhaps it's fair enough to blame the gin -- but surely all it can do is weed out and force-grow these thoughts and feelings? Does that mean I'm being over the top? Does it mean that I'm wrong?

 

Well I've written all of this, and it's worth nothing at all, so I may as well post it and keep drinking! yeah! There's a positive here somehwere! I'll pass out eventually! woo! etcdie.

Posted
Night Flink!

 

I have just got back out of bed (well im still situation in bed). Was lay there thinking about everything and the storm started so had to get up and close my windows (otherwise I'd wake up to a wet tv), well I closed them most the way.

 

Its weird. The last few days the expression "a storm's brewing" has been circulating in my head and now I realise why. And not just because of the rain and thunder. Personal dramas -_-

 

Oh and I am technically in a roof so this storm is uber-epic.

 

i remember once i was in a caravan with a pretty bad storm.

at one point i could actually feel the caravan swaying. gulp.

 

i love storms tho :)

Posted
The last four times it's rained while I've walked home, it's been the background music to my self-depressed foreground. I don't know why but I've found it really difficult tonight to not last out at people. Certain posts/threads, or even texts/people have completely rubbed me the wrong way and I really just want to SCREAM...

 

Ugh. it's just momentary depression. At least that's what I tell myself. I've realised that I cannot remember a time that I was truly happy, and I genuinely can't see when I could ever be all smiles and no guile. All I want in the world is a companion to see me as I am, and to save their secrets for me. I'm pissed off with the near-misses and the perhaps. I'm tired of being the back-up and the maybe. Though i know that nobody deserves anything, I can't help but still wish that I'm wrong; that we are awaiting some mystical moment where everything is suddenly ok.

 

But when you have no single moment to look forward to - no ultimate moment of happiness where you can guarentee yourself at least a day of smiles and joy... when you can't see the next sunny day, then... well then being rained on just confirms this. Getting soaked through just establishes and burns into you the utter fallacy of holding onto any hope of a fresh and green opportunity of happiness.

 

happiness to me isn't some overbearing smilefest, it's just knowing that the next sadness is out of reach; it's far away enough that you couldn't think about it even if you tried. Yet knowing that I can get there at a moment's notice without even meaning to just saddens me immediately. Knowing I'm but 21 years old and probably being a wussy fuck for being so self-depressed when I have 'so much to live for' does nothing but make things heavier and harder to bear.

 

yes, this is one of my monthly posts of dirge, and I do apologise - but then anyone who has read far enough to garner the apology deserves so much more just for the effort they have put in. Perhaps it's fair enough to blame the gin -- but surely all it can do is weed out and force-grow these thoughts and feelings? Does that mean I'm being over the top? Does it mean that I'm wrong?

 

Well I've written all of this, and it's worth nothing at all, so I may as well post it and keep drinking! yeah! There's a positive here somehwere! I'll pass out eventually! woo! etcdie.

 

I :heart: you :)

 

Worse comes to worse; save these monthly posts of dirge. Give it a few years and build them into the backbone of a story (which could include the posts or just work around them) and bingo bango a depressing book for the blog generation!

Posted
that might have something to do with the half naked women?

Those aren't women, they're moving mannequins with deader eyes than smiles, their manufactured bodies clad in the emperor's newest fashion line. “Personality or GTFO,†as it were.

 

:sad:

I could write a long, sprawling response to this — indeed I halfway did before I deleted it — but I think the most valuable point I could make is this: stop drinking gin. You're trying to treat a broken leg with painkillers, but all they do is dull the hurt for a while whilst you go on making things worse.

Posted

Today was good, went to the British Motor Show, which was awesome.

 

Though I just realised I'm feeling rather lonely now, which kinda sucks but oh well.

 

Time for bed methinks.

Posted
I could write a long, sprawling response to this — indeed I halfway did before I deleted it — but I think the most valuable point I could make is this: stop drinking gin. You're trying to treat a broken leg with painkillers, but all they do is dull the hurt for a while whilst you go on making things worse.

 

+1. Drinking doesn't solve problems.

 

I'm actually doing ok today, the worse thing to happen to me today was my hair not being as nice as it was in the picture from the other day.

 

Oh well. I shall have a shower later and play mario and all will be well..hopefully.

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